


Gemstones and Oceans

by ScorchFlame



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Alternate Universe - Medieval, Angst, Angst and Feels, Archer Bow (She-ra), Barbarian Adam (He-man), But it's non-graphic and ceremonial in nature, Child Abuse, Cutting, F/F, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fuck Shadow Weaver, Glimmer (She-Ra) Swears, Happy Ending, Heavy Angst, Just a different kind of annoying, Knight Catra (She-ra), Mage Glimmer (She-ra), Minor Character Death, Minor Injuries, Minor Violence, No Smut, Paladin Adora (She-Ra), Princess Adora (She-Ra), Sorry Not Sorry, Swearing, Swift Wind isn't annoying, Sword Fighting, Violence, Well he is, Yes I combined Eternia and Etheria, catradora endgame, i'm warning you now, not really major character death, sue me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-08
Updated: 2021-01-28
Packaged: 2021-03-06 14:11:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 118,148
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26350150
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ScorchFlame/pseuds/ScorchFlame
Summary: “Oh? What were you thinking about, exactly?”“About the day we met,” Adora answered easily.Catra hummed at the memory. “You mean the best day of my life? I remember it well.”She snorted. “Please. It was not. You almost drowned!” Her denial was met with an arched eyebrow.“You doubt my word?”“I doubt your ability to be serious.”With a shrug of acquiescence. “I suppose that’s fair,” she mused quietly, slowly walking towards her. “But I assure you…” Catra came close, dangerously close. “I’m quite serious,” she crooned.Adora smiled. “Why was it the best day of your life?” She only closed her eyes when the other woman traced fingers down her cheek, enjoying the volts of electricity that seemed to pulse along her skin where Catra touched her.“The day I met you?” She could feel her pulse in her ears as they twitched, her throat running dry. She gripped what remained of her courage and continued. “The day I met the love of my life? How could it not be the best day?” Catra held her breath for just a moment before continuing on. “Adora… youdoknow that I love you… right?”
Relationships: Adora/Catra (She-Ra), Adora/Glimmer (She-Ra)
Comments: 312
Kudos: 488





	1. Prologue

Before time, before man, before kingdoms and principalities… there was magic. 

Magic was the force that grew the universe, that bound the world, that kept it, that grew it, it’s awesome power wielded by the gods.

These gods, capricious and flippant, set contests among themselves to alleviate their boredom. Who could create the best world, they wagered. Some worlds were covered in sheets of ice so that few could survive it. Some were vast deserts, and again kept very little alive. Some planets were only oceans, or forests, and while these two fared better than their counterparts, there was still stagnation. Only so much could live in these conditions.

But then the wisest of the goddesses who had waited last to create her world. 

With her magic, she created the planet’s core, it’s pulsing power able to be felt over every inch of it. She divided the land from the ocean, the desert from the sheets of ice, the forest from the plains. She borrowed from the other gods their people. There were of course men, but there were also merfolk, scorpini, magicats, giants, trolls, and reptilians. Every manner of race and creature populated this planet, every sort of region and climate had its own place and its own people.

All of the gods looked on in wonder, declaring the wise goddess’s planet superior by far.

This planet was called Etheria.

The goddess knew that Etheria, with so many different people, that tension would always rise. Wars would be waged, and blood would be spilt. And so she decided that she would allow for two people, through the use of powerful relics, to have a direct connection to the magic at their planet’s core to keep the peace. 

Only the worthy could wield these mighty relics, these swords of power and protection. Always meant to be born in concert, to work in tandem. 

Only the just.

Only the noble.

Only the kind.

Many have since wielded the swords since the birth of Etheria, but like all heroes they each met their end and their story turned to legend, and legend to myth, until even myth was lost to the passing of time.

Now as the sun sets on the demise of He-Man and She-Ra, so it too rises on their successors with the wailing of babes.

The swords now lost, their blades buried deep into stone as the magic always assured it would until those babes could come of age and seek out their destiny. 

This is their story. 

Or at least, _her_ story.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hahahaahahahahaha! **this is panicked laughter can you tell**
> 
> Woof. Ok. Doing this. 
> 
> Hi everyone! I haven't written fanfiction since high school, but. Like. Here we are I guess. You can only troll for good medieval fantasy She-ra for so long before you just say fuck it and write one yourself, amirite?
> 
> Anyway. I am absolutely determined to finish this guy. I have a completed outline, and quite a bit already written out. At this point I'm just trying to fill in a couple blanks and figure out how I want to orginize the chapter breaks. 
> 
> I hope you guys like it. 
> 
> Ohgodplzlikeit. Ivebeenworkingonthisforthreemonths.


	2. Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _“Catra,” the Commander finally spoke._
> 
> _The young magicat yipped in surprise, staring up at the tall scarred figure before her. “Y-yes Commander?” She answered in a small voice._
> 
> _“What was Adora doing in your cot in the barracks?”_
> 
> _She swallowed thickly, wanting nothing more than to run, but knowing it would be worse for her if she did. “Sleeping…” She gasped when a sharp slap came across her cheek._
> 
> _“Don’t be smart with me,” the woman snarled. “I thought my warning had sunk in when we first met. But I suppose it’ll take more than mere words for that lesson to sink in.”_

Lessons, lessons, lessons! That’s all that she ever did! They were so long, and _so boring!_ She couldn’t stand it any longer! So with pursed lips, and a determined set to her dark blue eyes, Adora snuck away from the castle that she called home. The young girl had changed from her usual dress to riding breeches and a loose shirt, preferring them anyway. She just hoped her mother didn’t catch her.

Adora decided that the safest course of action was to follow the river that ran from the castle. At least she couldn’t get turned around and lose her way if she did that. She grinned widely as she ran as fast as her little six-year-old legs could carry her, panting heavily all the while. The rush of adrenaline for having broken the rules, the feeling of muscle and sinew moving her, the ragged breaths being pulled into her lungs, the call of adventure pushing her on, it felt like freedom. Once she knew she was out of sight of even the most diligent guard on the battlements, she let out a loud whoop and laughed as she sprinted.

_I can run faster!_

With a deep breath, she pushed herself even harder, farther than she ever had before. Mother never let her run, at least outside of strict training regiments. Said it was undignified for an officer’s daughter, one that would eventually replace her as commander. But mother was not here to chastise her, so dignity be damned. All that mattered was this rush, this wonderful taste of reckless abandon on her tongue. Rules didn’t matter, responsibility didn’t matter, fear didn’t matter, it was just the thrill of moving her body past her limits and boundaries, of both expectation and her physical being. It was just her, the forest, and the river she followed.

Finally, her energy was spent, and she reluctantly slowed as she took in heaving breaths, her pulse thundering in her ears, her heart beating against her ribcage as if it demanded freedom of its own. She collapsed against a tree, grinning widely when she looked back towards the castle she called home and giggled wildly when she couldn’t see it. What a wonderful sight. The calm of the woods, the rush of the river, the open sky, and the weight of all that fortress represented removed from view. A wonderful sight indeed.

Adora closed her eyes as she rested against the tree, the grin relaxing into a contented smile. She would give herself some time to recover from her mad dash before slowly making her way home before mother noticed she was gone. But of course, she was going to have her hands full today. More foundlings were being brought in, and there were preparations to be made for their arrival. That should keep her busy well into the night. Hopefully.

All that could be heard was the quiet sounds of the woodland creatures scurrying about her, and the whooshing of the river’s current, nothing amiss, nothing to draw one’s attention. 

Except for that odd meowing in the distance…

Adora frowned looking first up the tree and blinking. She saw nothing, so she started to look about, confused as to what a cat, feral or no, would be doing so far out here. The sound continued to get louder, the obvious distress in its cry becoming more apparent. Where was it coming from? Finally, her gaze snapped up at the river and her eyes widened. She saw a small crate floating down the river, brown tufts of ears and a ramrod-straight tail poking out the top. The girl gasped, and she ran towards the river without a care for any of the potential consequences. She had to save the cat!

Diving right in, Adora swam with the current as fast as she could, spitting out fragments of her blonde hair that had pulled themselves loose from their ponytail as she went. “I’m coming!” She shouted, her little voice barely heard over the coursing water. That only seemed to cause more stir in the crate, the box starting to spin as the cat moved inside, the yowling becoming more desperate, but now it was tinged with hope.

Finally, she reached the crate, and still with the current as a guide, she pushed it towards the bank. It was slower going since Adora only had the use of a single hand to propel herself forward, but with an effort she made it. A firm grip on the crate, she hauled herself out of the water, and pulled the box onto the shore, at least enough to keep it from being swept away again by the water. She flopped forward onto the grass, panting out her exhaustion from both her run and impromptu swim. The cat would be safe for a moment while she caught her breath. 

Yet, only a few heartbeats passed before an odd tickling sensation brushed her face. Her nose twitched before she opened her eyes to stare into another pair that didn’t seem to match. The color of the brightest sapphire, and richest amber. Adora gasped, moving to sit up and stare at the magicat girl. “Wha-where did?!” She turned to look at the crate, seeing how it was now tipped over and she gasped. “The cat!”

The girl smiled weakly. “I was the cat,” she answered softly. 

Adora turned to blink at her, eyes widening, mouth dropping slightly in another quiet gasp. “Oh… I… I didn’t realize… I thought…” She looked back to the crate before returning her gaze to the girl.

“Thank you,” murmured the soaked cat girl. “I was sure I was going to die…” Tears were pricking at her heterochromatic eyes, shivers raking through her little body.

The young blonde girl’s heart lurched at that, and she sprung forward to wrap her arms around her in a tight embrace. “It’s alright now! You don’t have to cry! You’re safe now.” The cat-girl easily collapsed against her chest, and cried despite her assurances, all of the tension and overwhelming emotions of relief flowing out of her. Adora bit her lip, unsure of what exactly to do. So she just started to stroke her thick dark hair in hopes that it did something to soothe her. 

Finally, the sobs reduced to quiet whimpers, and then only hitch in her breathing coupled with tiny hiccups. However, her grip on her savior didn’t waiver in the slightest. Adora finally dared speak. “Are you alright?” The girl nodded, still not loosening her grip. “I’m Adora,” she finally said, her fingers still combing through her thick hair.

After a bit more sniffling, she replied. “Catra.”

~~  
The sun slowly made its way across the sky as the pair sat and talked, still clinging to one another after their bought with the river. Though they were more relaxed, and even starting to dry somewhat. As it happened, Catra had been orphaned long ago with little to no memory of her parents and had been living on the street for years scraping by however she could. She had given up some time ago to come by her meals honestly, and had resorted to pickpocketing. She was quite good at it too. She had all sorts of tricks and tips on how to get away clean, and she always did. Well. Until she tried to pick the wrong pocket. That’s how she’d found herself in that crate floating down the river. She didn’t even know how long she’d been in there. All she knew was that she was far from the city she once prowled and had little inclination to return. 

Adora mulled this over, the pair of them having slid down to lie in the grass, Catra curled up into the blonde’s side, and arms securely around each other. She puffed out her cheeks in thought. “So you don’t know where you’re going tonight?”

Catra shook her head. “Trees aren’t so bad, I suppose. Wouldn’t be any colder than being huddled on a rooftop somewhere. And safer besides. No one can climb as high as I can,” she said proudly.

The thought turned over in her mind a bit more before she nodded. “No friend of mine will be sleeping in any tree. You’ll just have to come home with me,” she grinned. “We’re expecting new foundlings to come stay with us anyway… what’s one more? They won’t even notice you slipping in.”

Catra blinked up at her with her near hypnotic eyes. “With you? Foundlings?”

Adora nodded. “My mother is the lady of our castle and commander of his majesty's forces. We take in orphans from time to time, give them a place to stay, lessons, a better life.” She smiled down at her. “Would you like that? That way, we could be together all the time.”

The magicat grinned back up at her, ears perked and tail swishing excitedly. “I would like that very much.” 

With a final squeeze, Adora dislodged herself and climbed to her feet. “So it’s decided then.” She extended a hand to her new friend and pulled her to her feet. “We should go home then.”

Catra felt tears flooding her vision again as her heart swelled. “Home,” she tasted the word on her tongue. Home with Adora. She liked that.

~~~

Home was not all that Catra had dreamed it to be. It certainly had its benefits, to be sure. There was always food to eat, always a place to sleep, and of course Adora. But she quickly learned that just because Castle Fright was now her home, did not mean it was safe. 

The now ten-year-old recalled being brought in years ago to meet Commander Weaver.

_~  
Adora tugging at her wrist. Her eyes were wide as they came to the castle. _

_“Are you a princess?” Catra asked in awe, and her new friend laughed with a shake of her head._

_“No. I’m just a lady. The keep is more for defense then because of our nobility,” she said with a nod._

_Catra had decided in that moment that Adora was princess enough for her standards. She remembered feeling excited at first at their introduction. “Mother will be so excited to meet you,” she tacked on to the long list of the reasons why the Commander was so good. By now, they finally came to her office and Adora pushed open the door as she always had. Catra had looked up expectantly. After all of Adora’s praise, she had pictured a beautiful maiden like in the stories. But she gasped when met with a dark haired woman with distorted gray-green eyes, her skin a pale ashen color, scars that came from chin to hairline that marred her face and contorted her mouth into a permanent snarl. It had been terrifying to behold._

_Commander Weaver glanced down at the two six-year-olds and favored her daughter with a crooked smile, but still disdain in her eyes for the magicat girl who she had yet to even meet. “Who is this Adora?”_

_“This is Catra!” She exclaimed, tugging her forward. “She’s a foundling! We’re friends now, so I wanted you to meet her!”_

_The Commander gave an indulgent nod. “I see. Well, Catra, I’m Lady Commander Weaver and I will be your head commanding officer so long as you are here at Castle Fright. I’m sure you will find this situation superior to the one you left behind.”_

_Catra swallowed thickly, staring openly at the grotesque face before her. She couldn’t explain why the fur along her spine flared out, why her ears laid back against her head. All she knew was that she was right not to like Weaver. And as she would learn shortly, the feeling was mutual._

_The Commander’s eyes narrowed slightly before turning to her daughter. “Adora dear, perhaps you could go pick out a bunk for Catra in the barracks with the other foundlings. I’ll send her along with you shortly.”_

_Adora had bobbed her head in a nod, squeezing Catra’s hand in farewell before hurrying out of the room before Catra could protest. The door shut solidly behind her, and Catra slowly turned to look up at the Commander. Her stomach sank as every instinct in her told her to run._

_“I don’t know where you came from,” began the older woman as she rose from her desk to come around to meet her. “Because I know for a fact that no magicats were among the foundlings.” Her nose twitched as if the word itself was repulsive. “But somehow you’ve come to be here, and for some reason, Adora has taken a shine to you, and because of these facts I have to deal with you.” She leaned down to be at a level with her, her eyes hard. Suddenly Catra couldn’t move, couldn’t breathe. She felt a red energy surround her body and she wanted to gasp, but her lungs had forgotten how to take in air. “Know this,” she whispered in an ominous voice. “If you do anything, anything at all that endangers my daughter or her bright future, I will drown you like the stray cat you are.” Their eyes met for too long. It made Catra want to crawl out of her skin. Then finally, she was released and Weaver returned to her desk._

_“You may go now.”_

_With a gasp, she turned to do just that, finally able to heed her every instinct to get away from her.  
~_

That had been four years ago, and dreams of that moment still plagued her. Catra stared up at the bottom of the bunk suspended above her. When she had that dream, it was always hard to go back to sleep. But it wasn’t necessarily a bad thing, not sleeping. It meant that she would be able to wake Adora and send her on her way before anyone realized she was in the barracks again. She sighed as she rolled over in the tiny cot, knocking into the sleeping body beside her. She smiled as she watched Adora snoring softly for a moment before gently prodding at her forehead. “Wake up, dummy.”

Adora grumbled, burying her face into Catra’s wild mane of hair, mumbling something about never moving again.

Catra chuckled, lightly shoving her. “Come on, we can’t get caught again,” she insisted. On one of her first few nights living at Castle Fright, she’d confided in Adora about how nervous she felt sleeping in a room with so many strangers.

_~  
“Well. I’m not a stranger. What if I slept with you?”_

_Catra beamed at the suggestion. “I think that would help a lot.”  
~_

It had become a regular occurrence from then on. Adora would sneak out of her room and crawl through a barracks window and cuddle into Catra’s cot. They soon realized they both slept better this way, and they hated it when they were forced to separate.

While she did everything she could to avoid getting caught, she couldn’t stay away from Adora. No matter what happened to her.

_~_

_Catra was standing in Commander Weaver’s office, trying to keep herself from shaking. The grandfather clock against the far wall ticked off the minutes she stood there in complete silence as the Commander sat imposingly behind her desk. The air was thick and heavy with tension, and the little girl was having a hard time trying to take in air to fill her tiny lungs. The study was just so big and dark, the weapons mounted on the wall, the dark tapestries of maroon, black, and red, the heavy curtains that seemed to block out almost all of the sun’s light that tried to stream into the room. The space was cold, overwhelming, threatening. And Catra wasn’t allowed to move an inch._

_“Catra,” the Commander finally spoke._

_The young magicat yipped in surprise, staring up at the tall scarred figure before her. “Y-yes Commander?” She answered in a small voice._

_“What was Adora doing in your cot in the barracks?”_

_She swallowed thickly, wanting nothing more than to run, but knowing it would be worse for her if she did. “Sleeping…” She gasped when a sharp slap came across her cheek._

_“Don’t be smart with me,” the woman snarled. “I thought my warning had sunk in when we first met. But I suppose it’ll take more than mere words for that lesson to sink in.”_

_Catra cried out, falling to her knees as an electrical current worked its way through her body. The pain… it was agony, everything felt like it was burning. She couldn’t move, everything seizing up. She couldn’t breathe…  
~_

Catra swallowed thickly letting out a deep breath before pulling herself out of Adora’s grip and yanking the blankets off of her. “Come on princess, get up. You need to get back to your room before they find you.”

Adora groaned rolling over to lie on her back. “Fiiiine,” she sighed before hopping out of bed. She wandered over to Catra and gave her a morning hug. “See you at training,” she whispered before going to sneak out of the barracks and back into the Keep.

The magicat watched her as she went with a small smile before going to get ready for her own day of training.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't expect back to back chapter drops like this all the time. I just didn't feel right leaving only a 400 word prologue and nothing else. So... Heeeere it is.
> 
> I hope ya'll liked it. 
> 
> Comments and kudos are life-giving <3
> 
> Here's my [twitter](https://twitter.com/xtitan_1) and my [tumblr](https://scorchflamedancer.tumblr.com/). Hit me up if you like. I love talking to people about this fic, Catradora, or just spop in general.


	3. Training and Ceremonies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I mean. You’re just…” Catra struggled for words, reaching into vapor and coming up with nothing. Nothing adequate anyway. “You’re just so… _good_. You… you care about people. And I think… if you’re going to serve someone, bleed for someone… you’re the kind of person that deserves that kind of loyalty. To have people following you. And you would never ask someone to do something you wouldn’t do yourself.” She gave a firm nod. “That’s why it’s important… at least to me. And why I would do it. So long as it’s you.” Catra moved to take another step forward, but then realized that her friend wasn’t moving with her. She blinked and turned to see why she’d stopped.
> 
> Adora was staring wide-eyed at the magicat, mouth slightly agape as she processed everything she’d just said, awestruck. “You… think I’m good enough for all that?” She was almost trembling, so overwhelmed with emotions in that moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: That ceremonial non-graphic cutting I mentioned in the tags is in this chapter. You've been warned.

Adora was standing in line with the rest of the squad, Catra at her hip. Finally, finally! Adora was allowed to start training with the rest of her peers. It had felt like forever, but after a long impassioned speech, her mother had relented and said she could do drills and exercises with everyone else rather than private ones, so long as her studies didn’t suffer. 

“Alright cadets,” bellowed Octavia, their instructor. “I’m sure you all can see that our squad has a new member. Lady Adora will be joining us on a permanent basis going forward, so for today we’re going to be going at a slightly slower pace to get her into the swing of things.”

Catra smirked, whipping her tail behind her to fuss with Adora’s ponytail. The two girls grinned widely trying to hold back their giggles.

And so the lessons for the day began. It involved a lot of running, warm-ups, stretching at first before breaking down into footwork drills. Adora noticed with increased concern and suspicion that Catra was struggling more than the others. That she was being yelled at more than the others, that she was always pulled aside after the initial instructions only to be given more. That she was already so out of breath and it wasn’t even midday yet. She glanced at the other cadets, noting that while they had certainly been exerting themselves, they weren’t anywhere near as tired as Catra seemed to be. Adora pressed her lips in a tight line, not really sure what to do about it other than smile encouragingly at her best friend as they carried on.

“Everyone grab a practice sword,” Octavia instructed a few hours later, motioning towards the rack of heavy wooden swords. One by one, the little fighters went and grabbed one. “Not you,” Octavia grumbled, putting a hand on Catra’s shoulder. “I have special instructions for you.” She drew a blunted metal blade from her hip and dropped it into Catra’s hands. “From now on, you’re using this.”

The magicat frowned up at the imposing woman with confusion. “What? Why? This… it’s too heavy…” she protested.

“Orders come directly from the Commander herself,” she retorted. “You’ll do your drills with this practice sword without complaint, or there will be consequences.”  
Catra ground her teeth, gripping tightly at the handle before going to stand with everyone else. She ignored the soft questions and pointed stares from her friends and huffed, holding her sword up in the first position with the rest of them, her arms wobbling a bit under the weight. She worked through the drills as best as she could, breaking out in a new wave of sweat matting up her already damp fur before the rest of the squad even got past their first few forms. Her arms and shoulders were burning almost immediately, her grip growing weaker with every swing. She was already so tired from warmups and her earlier drills, she didn’t know if she could do this. She clenched her jaw trying to push her way through, her arms almost violently shaking at this point before finally the sword slipped out of her hands and clattered to the ground.

Octavia rounded on her with a shout, “Pick it up, cadet! What if you were in a fight and just _dropped_ your sword?!”

“It’s too heavy,” she snapped back with a glare. “How come everyone else gets a wood sword and I don’t? It isn’t fair!”

“I don’t care what’s fair! You’re going to do as you’re told!” She grabbed the sword, and shoved it into Catra’s arms.

With a hiss she dropped the sword again, but this time with more purpose and onto Octavia’s foot, pommel first. “No! This is dumb! And so is your face,” she growled pointing up at her as the older woman yelped in pain.

“That’s it!” She cried out, hopping on one foot. “You’re cleaning out the whole stable for the rest of the day! That’ll teach you for being insubordinate!”

Adora’s eyes darted back and forth between Octavia and Catra. “Sergeant Octavia, you really aren’t being fair…”

Catra glared at her with a shake of her head. She wasn’t going to let Adora get dragged into this. “Fine,” she muttered before turning away to go fulfill her punishment. It always seemed to go this way. Her training was always interrupted by this same sort of insanity. She was always given some sort of disadvantage, some hindrance to make sure she’d never be able to complete her assigned task. She shook her head, pushing her way into the stables and looking around swallowing thickly. She was never going to finish by the time dinner was served. She was going to go to bed hungry again, she just knew it.

Catra sighed as she set about to muck out the stalls of the great stable, punishment for… existing, she supposed. Once Commander Weaver had decided she didn’t like Catra, that attitude quickly spread through the ranks of the Horde. Didn’t help anything when she gave specific orders to re-enforce that treatment. No, living at Castle Fright was nothing like she had thought it would be when she first came here. There was no fairytale family, there was no feeling of belonging, no real safety. Not one that mattered anyway.

Except…

Adora pushed her way into the stable with a huff, seemingly flustered about something. It was odd that she was in here. She should be back at their training session. She went to grab a shovel before moving to work beside Catra.

 _Even if this place is miserable, she’s home enough for me,_ she thought with a fanged smile.

“Hey princess, you get in trouble for mouthing off too?”

Adora smirked, digging her shovel deep into the pile of mess in front of them. “Maybe.”

She snorted, elbowing her. “Come on, no you didn’t.”

“I did! Well. More. Insulting than mouthing off, really.”

Catra blinked at her in confusion. “What? Why?”

“Sergeant Octavia wasn’t being fair,” she insisted. “She was picking on you during training and drills.” She puffed up her cheeks in irritation. “So… when you left… I called her a dumbface too. Kicked her in the shins for good measure.” 

Catra felt her heart swell in that moment, just watching her as she shoveled, the magicat’s own grip on the shovel loosened. “You got yourself in trouble… for me?”

“Well… yeah. I wasn’t going to leave you alone.” She motioned around the stable. “This is way too big a job for one person.” Catra swallowed thickly, dropping the shovel altogether and throwing her arms around her in a hug. Adora smiled softly and put her arms around her too. “I’ll always be at your side Catra,” she promised.

“Promise?” She whispered in question.

“I promise.” 

The girls held each other for a moment longer before they separated and set about their work, talking and laughing as they did. Adora always managed to do that. Make everything better, everything easier. It all just came so naturally to them. Sure, she was friends with Lonnie and the others, but Adora was special. When she had something to say, good news or bad, Adora was always the first person she wanted to tell. Whenever she had free time, it was always Adora she wanted to play with. And here, even now as they worked a truly miserable job, it was made so much better just being with Adora. Being together was as natural as breathing. There wasn’t really a question to it, she knew Adora was the reason why she didn’t just run away from this awful place. Sometimes she felt like that was the goal of all the adults around her, but Catra could never dream of leaving Adora behind.

With a deep sigh, both dropped to sit in a clean stall covered in fresh straw. “I’m exhausted,” Catra grumbled. “And I swear I’m going to smell like horses for a month.”

Adora shrugged, looking up at the gelding poking his head over the stall door to look at them. “I don’t know… doesn’t smell all that bad to me.”

Catra rolled her eyes. “You’re just obsessed with horses.”

Adora elbowed her friend hard in the ribs. “Shut up! You like horses too!”

“Not as much as you do,” she retorted with a shove.

“What? They’re majestic!” She wrapped an arm around her neck, digging her knuckles into Catra’s scalp, furthering mussing her already wild mane of hair. The pair laughed and wrestled around in the straw, Catra eventually pinning Adora to the floor. They both stopped and listened with the bell in the square chimed out the hour. With a sigh, Catra climbed to her feet and offered her friend a hand up. 

“You should probably go get cleaned up for dinner.”

Adora arched an eyebrow at her. “We both have to. Remember? There’s that ceremony in the feast hall tonight.”

Catra’s nose twitched as she recalled. “That means a bath…” She grumbled looking down at her stained and stinking clothes. “Well. At least I won’t smell for much longer then.” She looked up when her friend laced their fingers together and tugged.

“Come on. Let’s go get ready. We can’t get in trouble for leaving if we were under orders to go to the feast hall.”

She wasn’t so sure about that, but still. She was tired and hungry. So with a smile, the girls left hand in hand.

~~

Adora sat fidgeting at dinner, the whole of the feast hall full of those that lived at Castle Fright, most in their finest clothes. Tonight was unusual, something important was supposed to be happening, some sort of ceremony. That was why Adora was shoved into her high collar dress, why she was sitting at her mother’s right hand and not with the squadron of cadets she had been eating with for the past few months, and that she now trained with. She fidgeted in her seat, pushing her food around on her plate, her cheeks having an irritated puff to them. 

Adora looked up to the familiar table in the distance and gave a forlorn sigh as she watched her friends all in their smart red and white uniforms that cadets had to wear before finally being allowed into standard soldier regulation red and grey. Catra and Lonnie were whispering to each other, stealing the occasional glances and snickering at Kyle. He had a schmear of something on his cheek, and they were probably waiting to see how long it would take for him to realize it. It didn’t take much longer for Rogelio to realize what was happening and alert Kyle to the girls making fun of him. Adora grinned as she watched the scene unfold, seeing Catra and Lonnie groan and badger at Rogelio for ruining the fun. 

Adora tsked looking down at her plate, noting how she’d eaten plenty so she wouldn’t go to bed hungry and then up at her mother who was clearly distracted speaking to a few of her attendants and a grandmaster of the knights' order, all in their finery. Pursing her lips, slowly, carefully, Adora inconspicuously slipped under the table and made her way through the throng of people and crowded tables before landing in the seat next to Catra with a wide grin.

The magicat blinked at her in surprise and grinned right back. “Hey, Adora.”

“Catra,” she replied warmly, before swiping the heel of bread left on her plate and nibbling at it. 

“What are you doing over here? Thought the Commander wanted you to eat with her tonight.”

“I finished eating,” she said simply as if that explained all of it.

“Uh-huh. So then how come you’re eating my food?”

“Mostly to bug you,” she teased sticking her tongue out at her, yipping when Catra elbowed her and tried to steal back her own bread, the pair laughing all the while as they struggled. 

Suddenly the hall grew quiet and all eyes were forward to where Commander Weaver stood with the knight’s grandmaster, a cushion placed on the floor before them. The children grew quiet as well, Adora partially obscuring herself behind Catra so as not to be seen that she wasn’t where she was supposed to be. Finally, the Commander spoke.

“I thank you for your attendance,” she began with hands folded behind her back. “For we’re here to honor one that has done much in service to Castle Fright, and to King Hordak.” She paused while there was an eruption of cheers and mugs clanging on tabletops for a brief moment before all grew quiet again. “Having just returned from his trials, I see fit to allow Sir Grand Master Cobalt to proceed in the knighting ceremony.” She gave a nod towards the older blue-skinned warrior before taking a step back.

“Would Squire Grizzlor present himself before the court?” The knight called out. The hall once again erupted in cheers as a large furry, burly man rose from his place at a nearby table and came to kneel on the cushion set out on the floor. Sir Cobalt then began to sing the praises of the man before him and Adora felt her eyes start to glaze over.

“This is why I was made to wear this insufferable dress?” She whispered softly enough that only Catra’s exceptional hearing could pick up.

The magicat shrugged. “I guess so,” she mused. “Seems like a whole lot of fuss for nothing if you ask me,” she said before swiping her bread back and taking a bite out of it.

Adora didn’t even fight it, resting her elbow on the table and her chin in her hand as she watched the spectacle. 

“-and so Grizzlor,” continued Sir Cobalt as he drew a sword from a scabbard, “do you accept the heavy burden that knighthood entails and swear fidelity to your kingdom? Carry this sword with strength and prepare yourself for service to king and country. Never use it to do harm or to offend, but use it to defend what is good and just, and never confer with traitors or any that would work to undo our sovereign?”

“I do,” said the gruff kneeling man.

“Then receive these strikes and not others in remembrance of the oath that you have made.” He thwacked at his armored shoulders with the flat of the blade and then stood closer to him. “May this be the last blow you ever receive that goes unanswered.” 

Catra couldn’t help her startled laughter as the old knight punched the kneeling squire right in the jaw and watching him tumble backward. “Well this just got more interesting,” she snickered.

A few attendants hurried forward to right the man, and the knight presiding over the ceremony dubbed him a knight and presented him with the sword he’d held to much applause. Adora gasped and elbowed Catra when she heard her heckle over the din “Hit him again!”

Finally, Commander Weaver came to stand before the kneeling man, an unusual dagger resting at her hip and she waited patiently as the newly dubbed Sir Grizzlor worked his sore jaw and then cleared his throat, holding his sword flat against his palms before him with his head bowed slightly. “Lady Commander Weaver, I ask that you accept my oaths of fealty to you and Castle Fright.”

Weaver nodded with an almost bored expression. “I will accept your oaths as your liege lady,” she said loud enough for the hall to hear. “Will you keep the peace in accordance with the laws and customs of this land, and uphold the honor of my house and my name?”

Catra turned to Adora as if to ask her something, and the blonde girl frowned at her. “No, I don’t know if she’ll hit him again.” The brunette pouted before looking forward again, crossing her arms indignantly.

“I shall keep them.” Grizzlor adjusted the blade to rest against his exposed forearm and brought it across his skin in a long shallow cut.

All of the children at the table gasped, Adora clinging to Catra’s hand in shock, her stomach churning at the sudden and unexpected sight of blood.

“Will you follow me into all peril and aid in the protection of those in my charge with mercy and truth?”

“I shall follow.” He, again, made a draw-cut down his arm, and Adora looked away realizing this might well keep happening.

“Will you stand in the way of all that would do me harm, even unto your own death?”

“I shall stand,” he answered, making the final cut. Then he sheathed the blade and presented it once more to the Commander with a bowed head.

Weaver then took the sword and set it aside, now taking the dagger at her hip and pricking her thumb with the tip, sheathing the blade once more. “I accept your oaths of fealty, Sir Grizzlor,” she said, handing him the dagger. “Now rise.”

At that, the hall erupted into bellowing cheers that would not be silenced by anyone at this point. Soldiers jumping from their tables to go and congratulate the new knight with pats on the back and playful roughhousing.

Catra laughed at all of the pomp and circumstance, shaking her head a bit. Though… Something pulled a bit at the corner of her mind. Maybe it would be nice for that many people to be celebrating her. Thinking that she was something special and worth celebrating. She was pulled from her musings with a tug at her hand and she turned to see a queasy Adora. With a soft smile, she got up from her seat and tugged Adora out of her chair and out of the feast hall. “Too loud?” She asked when they were finally free of the shouting.

Adora nodded. “And the blood…” She shivered. “It just… was surprising, I guess. Bleeding happens sometimes when you’re training… but not when you’re in the feast hall… not doing it to yourself.”

She shrugged. “Ceremonies are all weird.”

The blonde girl nodded in agreement as the pair walked away from the hall, just meandering around the grounds, still hand in hand. “I’ll probably have to do that one day,” she winced.

Catra arched an eyebrow at her. “You don’t have to cut yourself like that,” she said reassuringly. “It looks like it’s just a thing knights have to do.”

Adora shook her head. “No, I don’t mean that. I mean _making_ someone else cut themselves. I don’t like that.” She winced. “I don’t like the idea of people getting hurt for me.”

With pursed lips, Catra’s tail swished up to wrap loosely around her friend’s wrist and she squeezed her hand tightly. “I mean… you’re going to be Lady Commander one day. It’s going to happen.”

“Yeah… but that doesn’t mean I have to like it.”

“I guess not,” she allowed as her mind worked. “But. I mean. I think… it matters. People putting themselves out there for you. Specifically.”

Adora scoffed glancing at her. “What are you talking about?”

“I mean. You’re just…” she struggled for words, reaching into vapor and coming up with nothing. Nothing adequate anyway. “You’re just so… _good_. You… you care about people. And I think… if you’re going to serve someone, bleed for someone… you’re the kind of person that deserves that kind of loyalty. To have people following you. And you would never ask someone to do something you wouldn’t do yourself.” She gave a firm nod. “That’s why it’s important… at least to me. And why I would do it. So long as it’s you.” Catra moved to take another step forward, but then realized that her friend wasn’t moving with her. She blinked and turned to see why she’d stopped.

Adora was staring wide-eyed at the magicat, mouth slightly agape as she processed everything she’d just said, awestruck. “You… think I’m good enough for all that?” She was almost trembling, so overwhelmed with emotions in that moment.

Catra’s brows shot up, ear twitching in confusion before a small smile spread over her lips and she moved in to pull her in a tight hug. “You’re such an idiot,” she said affectionately. She waited until she knew Adora had composed herself. “You ok?” 

She nodded with a little half-smile. “Yeah… thanks.”

Catra tugged on her hand. “Come on then,” she said, pulling her forward with purpose.

“Where are we going?”

“To steal Octavia’s things while she’s busy in the feast hall,” she snickered. “I’ll race you!” She said dropping Adora’s hand and sprinting forward.

“Catra!” She complained hiking up her skirt and running after her. “That’s cheating!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed more of young Catra and Adora. It won't last much longer. These kids grow up so fast **sniff**
> 
> Comments and kudos are life-giving.
> 
> Here's my [twitter](https://twitter.com/xtitan_1) and my [tumblr](https://scorchflamedancer.tumblr.com/). Hit me up if you like. I love talking to people about this fic, Catradora, or just spop in general.


	4. Off to War

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “What… what’s this for?”
> 
> “It’s a favor. For good luck.”Adora smiled softly. “And… I hope that when you look at it… you’ll remember me.”
> 
> Catra’s eyes went back and forth between her and the scarf with a laugh. “You say that as if I could ever forget,” she said, still taking the scarf. 
> 
> “Now I expect it back,” she insisted. “I’m only lending it to you. I’ll be very angry if I don’t get back my favorite scarf.”
> 
> She was met with a snort. “You realize it’ll be ruined by the time it gets back to you.”
> 
> “Besides the point!”

“Arrgh!” Kyle flew out of the sparring circle with a yell, Adora smirking as she twisted her wrist that held her sword.

“Sorry, Kyle!” She shouted at him. “You really do need to work on keeping your guard up!” She offered him in advice. 

Octavia nodded approvingly at her, waving her over. “Good fights today cadets,” she said to the row of young teens. “You’ve all come a long way since I first began your training over eight years ago. Now that you’re finally of age, your squad is to be inducted into the Third Moon Company for your first campaign against the Rebellion.”

The cadets chattered excitedly to themselves, Catra lightly elbowing Adora with a smirk that she returned with a grin.

“I know you’re all excited for your first campaign. So before you all head back to prepare for your deployment, I’d like to assign your squad leader that will be charged with making sure you all stay together and stay on task in your preparations and while you’re out in the field.”

They all stood tall and at attention as they watched Octavia take a small brooch from her pocket and walk along the line. She stopped in the center of the line to make eye contact with Adora. “Lady Weaver. Do you accept the responsibilities of seeing to your squad and exemplifying the virtues of strength and leadership?”

Her ocean-blue eyes widened and she beamed up at her sergeant. “Yes! I will! I mean, I do,” she cleared her throat. “Ma’am.”

Catra snickered at how overexcited she was but kept her eyes forward as her tail swished to tickle her side in quiet encouragement and congratulations.

Octavia pinned the brooch on the collar of Adora’s now red and grey uniform, the cadets having been issued them only the day prior in preparation for their deployment. “Very good then. You’re all dismissed to begin packing. You all ship out within the week, but you’ll need to be ready. We aren’t solid on the day just yet.” With that, she nodded to the squad of cadets before turning back to head to her office, leaving the fifteen-year-olds to shout in excitement and celebration as they piled onto Adora.

“Squad leader, that’s amazing!”

“Raawr!”

“I knew you could do it!”

“Alright, alright, give her some air to breathe!” Catra insisted, shooing everyone back, Adora still giggling at the outpouring of praise. The magicat then turned to face her and threw her arms around her in a tight hug. 

“What was that about giving me air to breathe?” She teased, easily returning the hug.

“Yeah, yeah,” she chuckled, pulling back enough to adjust the badge pinned to her collar. “Had to get them off you somehow,” she grinned. “But this is wonderful! I’m glad they had the good sense to promote you. You’ve earned it.” She didn’t even notice as the others dispersed to go pack for their first real assignment. 

“You really think so?” Adora asked softly, looking down at her uniform. “I just… it feels like I just deceived everyone into thinking I did…”

Catra rolled her eyes, digging her elbow into her side. “Dummy. Of course not. No one works harder than you do, or cares more about our sorry behinds than you. Just watch, you’re going to lead us to victory in our first real mission and there won't be any doubts as to whether or not you deserve this. Not you or anyone else will be able to say you didn’t earn it.”

Adora smiled, grateful to her friend for seeming to know just how to ground her, to say exactly what she needed to hear. 

“Come on, we need to get packing,” she said, jerking her head towards the barracks. “Gods, I can’t wait to get out of here,” she muttered as they walked together, sure to keep space between them as they did. As time had gone on and they'd grown into their adolescence, Commander Weaver had been more strict at imposing distance between the girls. Even after all this time, the Commander still hadn’t warmed up to the magicat. Actually, her abuse had only grown more severe as the years went on. All the while, the thinly veiled promise that if she left Castle Fright her life would be better, or at the very least if she left Adora alone. Only then would the torment cease. But now, on a real campaign, at war, she would be able to have both. She grinned widely. “We’ll get to see the world together,” she said softly. “Finally get far enough from Castle Fright to… to just _breathe_.”

Adora was still looking at her badge, smiling down at it as they walked. “I can’t wait. It’s going to be everything we ever hoped for.”

They both looked up when they came to the barracks and Catra separated herself from her friend’s side. “I’ll meet you out here once you’ve finished?”

Adora nodded and they waved their goodbyes before she hurried to her rooms inside the Keep. She gathered her boots and clothes, flint and tinder, a spare sword belt, anything and everything she could think of that would be required for the mission. She would have to make a list to double-check everything to be sure nothing was forgotten. But for now, this would do. She still had time. She sat sharpening her short sword humming to herself when the door opened.

Commander Weaver walked in, almost seemed to glide as she did, closing the door behind her. “Adora,” she began with an arched eyebrow.

“Hello Mother,” came the chipper reply from the young woman, her rucksack stuffed full and sitting beside her.

“And… what is it you’ve packed for?”

Adora stopped and blinked up at her mother in confusion. “For the campaign… we’re set to deploy within the week.” She frowned when she was met with a cackle, almost detecting cruelty in it.

“What? No, no Adora. You won’t be going on a campaign. I won’t allow it.”

“What?!” She almost dropped her sword as she stood, but did drop her sharpening stone. Carefully, she sheathed her sword before giving her mother her full attention. “Why wouldn’t you allow it? My whole squad is going!”

“You don’t belong to any squad. Not in the same way the others do. You’re not going to be sent out to die like a common foot soldier, and definitely not this young. When you’re old enough to achieve a real rank, you’ll deploy as an officer.” 

Adora felt her hands begin to shake as her mind raced at the new information. “But… I’m…” She gently traced a finger to the badge still pinned to her lapel. “I’m supposed to lead them…”

“And you will,” the Commander allowed. “Once you are eighteen and promoted to lieutenant, you will be leading your own company. It can include this squad if you wish. But until then, you won’t be leaving Castle Fright.”

“That isn’t fair!” She shouted at her, fists clenched at her sides. “I’ve been training with them all this time! I want to go with them! I’m ready, I can do this!”

The older woman studied her for a moment before gliding forward, tracing fingers down her face to hold her cheek. “I know darling, but I’m not. I’m not ready to send you out into the world yet, out into battle. I’m not willing to risk your safety while you’re still so young.”

The blonde’s pulse thundered in her ears as her mind spun out of control into a hundred different directions. Catra… “But… you’re ready to send the rest of my squad?”

A nod. “They are not my daughter. They are not going to one day be named Lady Commander of Castle Fright. You are to stay here and continue your studies and training. As I said. Once you are older, we will revisit the issue. Understood?”

Adora sniffed, shifting her eyes to the side in hopes to hide the moisture welling up in them. “Understood, Mother,” she said weakly, all fight gone out of her.

“Good,” Weaver said, straightening, giving her hair one final pet. “Now hurry up and unpack all of this and get ready for dinner.”

“Yes, Mother.” Adora watched as she left the room and waited. She knew it took exactly thirty paces before her mother turned the corner and left the corridor empty. She then bolted out of the room and out of the Keep to meet Catra at the barracks. 

~~

Catra was already sitting at the edge of the roof of the barracks, waiting as her tail lazily swished behind her. She smiled when she watched Adora running towards her and jumped, landing directly on top of her. She grinned in satisfaction when her friend let out a loud ‘oof’ as they thudded to the ground. “Took you long enough,” she teased, still pinning her to the ground.

Adora groaned, not in the mood for their usual banter, and shoved her off. “Catra, not now,” she murmured miserably.

She frowned, ears standing straight up, tail going still. “What’s wrong?” This was a complete switch from when she had left her.

With a great sigh, and a fist swiping at tears, Adora said quietly, “I’m not going on the campaign.”

Catra frowned, sitting back on her heels. “I don’t understand…”

“Mother says that I’m not going with you. That I won’t go on any campaign at all until I’m eighteen and promoted to an officer,” she said as her face contorted in irritation and disappointment. 

They sat in silence for a moment before Catra moved to stand up straight. “And you told her you would go anyway, right?” She watched her with pursed lips as Adora winced as she also moved to her feet.

“I tried… but she’s not just my mother, she’s the Lady Commander. We can’t disobey orders.” She slowly climbed to her feet.

“I do it all the time!” She motioned between the two of them. “ _We_ do it all the time. Why is this any different? Gods, why is it so difficult for you to stand up to her?!”

“Because this isn’t just some prank or sleeping in the barracks, this is active duty! This is war! I’m sure if I tried coming with the rest of you, even if I did make it to the field, Mother would just have me brought back!”

Catra shook her head, feeling a burning ache in her chest, a churning of her stomach that she wasn’t familiar with. This was too much. The deep ache she couldn’t name. It was far too much. She felt the inescapable need to run. “Fine,” she grumbled, before turning to start climbing back up the building with great leaps and bounds, claws digging into stone and wooden surfaces as she did. 

“Catra!” 

She ignored the calls after her, climbing even higher, leaping onto the walls of the Keep and climbing up to perch herself on one of the taller battlements. Her cares and worries always felt so small when she was that far off the ground. When she finally made it up there, she crouched down, resting on the balls of her feet, arms wrapped around her knees and tail about her waist. 

She was going on her first campaign, something she’d been looking forward to when she realized it would finally be her chance to prove her worth, her abilities to everyone around her. A chance to earn her place here, to maybe even prove herself worthy of knighthood. She was going to war, and Adora wouldn’t be coming with her. She gritted her teeth as tears pricked her eyes. Catra hadn’t been apart from Adora since the day they met. They had promised that they would always stay together. And yet here they were, the shards of that broken promise left below on the ground. 

Catra let out a deep breath, knowing rationally it wasn’t Adora’s fault. But still… why did it sting so badly? The thought of being apart from her for so long was unbearable. Her nose twitched as she pondered. Was that really the reason why Adora was being forced to stay behind? Or at least one of them. She swallowed thickly, recalling all of her interactions recently with the Commander. She’d somehow grown even more aggressive, more adversarial. Weaver really didn’t like how close she and Adora had grown. She closed her eyes with a sigh. 

“Fuck,” she muttered, rubbing her eyes with the heels of her palms. She supposed she would never know the truth for sure. But the explanation was compelling enough for her.

Her ear twitched as she heard the creaking of a wooden door swinging slowly open behind her. She knew for a fact no one scouted from here during the day, so it could only possibly be one person.

“Catra…?”

“Hey Adora,” she murmured, her tail’s embrace around her middle growing stronger as she heard boots padding up towards her, and felt the warmth of her presence leaning on the crenellation beside her. 

“I’m sorry,” the blonde said quietly. 

She shook her head, her tail swishing to brush against her cheek in both comfort and apology. “Don’t be. It isn’t your fault,” she sighed. “I just. I always thought we would do this together.”

“Me too. But since we can’t,” Adora replied trailing off and reached up to take her hand, something cold and metallic pressed in her palm.

Catra frowned, pulling it away to see the brooch with the winged symbol of the Horde embossed into its surface. “Your squad leader’s badge?”

“I’m not going on the campaign, so I can’t be the squad leader.” She smiled softly. “I asked Sergeant Octavia. I’m allowed to choose my replacement in the event I can’t carry out my duties. So. I choose you.”

Her cheeks flushed in embarrassment and surprise as she stared at the metal in her palm with a slack jaw. “I… what? Why…?!”

“You’re the best fighter in our squad,” she answered simply. “You’ve always had a better head for tactics and strategy… and I know you’re the best bet for you all coming home safely.” She swallowed thickly. “And you have to all come home safely. You have to…”

Catra peeled her eyes from the badge to look at her. “We will,” she said with a quiet fervor. “I promise we will.” She pocketed the brooch and took her hand, giving it a tight squeeze. “Nothing’s going to happen to us.”

“You don’t know that,” Adora insisted. “And I won’t be there to watch your back,” she trailed off as her voice cracked.

The silence stretched for a moment, Catra’s tail whipping anxiously. “Hey,” she said, tugging her up to sit with her on the crenellation. “It’s like you said. I’m better at tactics and strategy. I won’t have to worry about anything happening since I’ll just out plan everyone anyway,” she grinned, affectionately elbowing Adora in the ribs. “Those rebels won’t know what hit them.”

Adora smiled a bit at the reassurance, leaning her head against her shoulder. “You better,” she said quietly. 

Quiet filled the space between them again, but this time far more comfortable and relieved of its previous tension. They stared down at the expansive forest that lay just beyond the castle grounds. There was an unspoken understanding when they looked at each other, mismatched gemstone eyes meeting fathomless ocean blue, deciding then that they wanted to visit their spot in the woods again before they were separated for at least a year. With a nod of wordless communication, they climbed down the tall tower steps hand in hand until they went to prepare and mount a single horse before riding out before anyone took notice of them, Catra burying her face in Adora’s shoulder as they rode out, arms secure around her middle. She didn’t want to forget this feeling of being so close or the scent of her lilac perfume.

Once they arrived, the young women jumped from their horse and Catra shed the outer coat of her uniform and balled it up into an improvised pillow that she set at the foot of a tree, their tree, before lying on it. It didn’t take long before Adora did the same, soundlessly taking her hand in hers once more as they stared up at the canopy of trees. Only small holes of sky were able to poke through the leaves, but it was enough to watch clouds roll by on lazy afternoons or stargaze when darkness slowly swallowed the sky leaving nothing but the tiny pinpricks of light through the veil.

Adora squeezed her hand as her throat tightened. “I’m… really going to miss you,” she whispered against the quiet.

Catra shook her head, squeezing back. “Don’t think about it too hard. We still have time.”

“You’ll be gone for a _year_.”

She shut her eyes with a deep breath. “I know,” she murmured miserably. 

Adora chewed on her lip as she considered. “You could… try and stay?”

“You mean desert?” She chuckled darkly. The very thing Commander Weaver had been trying to get her to do for years.

“It’s not deserting if you never leave the castle grounds,” she insisted.

“I’m not sure your mother would feel that way.”

A frustrated grunt. “I know…”

“Look,” Catra’s tail wove its way around Adora’s ankle, “we just need to make the most of the time we have left. Let’s not think about it until the time comes. Alright?”

“Alright…”

~~

And so they did. Every waking moment they spent at each other’s side, and even some hours they spent in sleep curled up in Catra’s cot, that was growing smaller every year. They sparred, they talked, they pulled pranks, they went riding, anything and everything they could possibly do together, they did. But with each passing day, despite never speaking of the future, it felt like a hangman’s noose tightened ever so slightly about their necks, the anxiety of their impending separation pressing harder on them. 

Then finally, it came.

The sun hadn’t even started its climb into the sky when Octavia burst her way into the barracks room where Catra slept with the rest of the squad, tonight being a night where Adora was in her own bed. Good thing too.

“Get up cadets!” Bellowed the sergeant. “Get ready for the day and load up your gear. We’re leaving once you’ve eaten breakfast!”

Catra froze staring up at the imposing woman, swallowing thickly. Adora…

Frantically the squad hurried about their quarter's dressing and gathering their packed bags and equipment. Catra chewed on her lip glancing around as chaos overtook the small space, carefully and quietly slipping out. If this was it, her last remaining hours in Castle Fright, she wasn’t going to let the day pass without seeing Adora one last time.

~

Commander Weaver threw open the door to the young blonde’s room in a similar fashion Octavia had below with her own charges. “Wake up Adora. We have a busy day today.” 

The girl jumped with wide eyes, pulling a dagger out from under her pillow at the sudden noise. “Wha?! What is it?”

Her mother chuckled, pleased that her daughter was so prepared for intruders. “Get dressed and meet me in my office once you have. You’ll be breakfasting with me as we go over the schedule for the day.”

Adora’s nose wrinkled at that, but she nodded in acquiescence. “Yes, Mother.”

When the door closed behind Weaver, Catra leaped into the room from the balcony window panting heavily with exertion. “Hey Adora,” she managed between breaths. 

“Catra?” She frowned, getting out of bed and going to stand beside her, tossing the knife aside onto her bed. “What are you doing here?” 

“We’re leaving,” she answered, her voice breaking as she met her friend’s gaze. “Now.”

Adora’s heart sank into her stomach at the news, sucking in a deep breath. Her eyes swept over the magicat noting that she was fully dressed in her uniform, the squad leader badge affixed to her lapel. “So… this… this is it… for a year,” she nearly whispered.

With a glum nod she replied, “It would seem so…” She let out a breath when Adora threw her arms around her in a crushing embrace, tucking Catra’s head under her chin, fingers gripping at her through her uniform’s coat. There was a desperation in the embrace, neither wanting to let go. 

“Promise me you’ll come back,” Adora croaked, burying her face into wild dark hair. “I couldn’t bear it if… if you…”

“I promise,” she said fiercely, the tips of her clawed fists lightly digging into her nightgown as she held on like her life depended on it. “There’s nothing I could face that would keep me from you.” She said it like an oath.

She nodded, fighting back a wave of tears. “I’ll miss you,” she whispered. The silence stretched for a moment before Adora pulled away, a thought occurring to her. Catra arched a curious eyebrow at her as she threw herself at her wardrobe, digging through it. Finally, she produced a deep blue silk scarf tucked in a corner and presented it to her friend. “Here.”

“What… what’s this for?”

“It’s a favor. For good luck.” She smiled softly. “And… I hope that when you look at it… you’ll remember me.”

Catra’s eyes went back and forth between her and the scarf with a laugh. “You say that as if I could ever forget,” she said, still taking the scarf. She unbuttoned the collar of her uniform and wove the scarf around her neck, tucking it into her tunic before buttoning back up.

“Now I expect it back,” she insisted. “I’m only lending it to you. I’ll be very angry if I don’t get back my favorite scarf.”

She was met with a snort. “You realize it’ll be ruined by the time it gets back to you.”

“Besides the point!”

The dark-haired girl laughed at her again with a shake of her head. “You’re such an idiot,” she said affectionately but allowed herself to be pulled into another strong embrace. They held one another for a moment longer before Catra swallowed thickly. “Don’t forget me…”

“I could never forget my best friend,” she insisted as they pulled apart, ocean blue eyes looking into amber and sapphire. Pink tinged her cheek before she quickly leaned in to leave a peck on Catra’s soft fuzzy cheek.

She stared at her for a moment, her own blush coloring her skin before returning the favor with a chaste kiss to her cheek. “I’ll come back to you. I swear,” she whispered, taking a few steps back towards the window.

“You had better,” Adora replied, her voice thick with emotion, eyes swimming with unshed tears. “Goodbye Catra…”

“Goodbye Adora.” With one last lingering look, she hopped out of the window.

~~~

Catra hadn’t returned after a year.

Adora had been counting down the days when the Third Moon Company was scheduled to return, only to be disappointed.

Third Moon Company certainly returned, but Catra was not with the rest of their squad at their arrival back at Castle Fright.

“What do you mean she isn’t here?!” She grabbed the front of Lonnie’s uniform, her eyes wide with panic and horror as her mind immediately went to the worst conclusions.

“Hey, hey!” Lonnie took hold of her wrists, meeting her gaze. “Calm down Adora. She isn’t hurt. She was just transferred to another company. Last I heard, she was in Second Talon Company.”

She slowly shook her head in disbelief, her grip slackening against the uniform. She certainly was relieved that Catra was alive. But… “Second Talon Company just deployed a month ago… they aren't set to return for another _year_.”

The dark skinned young woman gave her a look that conveyed her empathy. “I know,” she murmured. “They’re keeping her for a second campaign. I’m sorry…”

Adora’s eyes searched her face looking for any hint of a lie, of a joke. That would be better than the sinking feeling in her gut that pulled her into the reality that was threatening to break her. She had to wait _another_ year. Another year of fear and anxiety. Another year of flinching whenever news came from the front lines, praying that her friend’s name wouldn’t be listed among the dead or missing. She finally released Lonnie’s lapels before running as far away as she could get.

If last year had been hard, this one was going to be hell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Catra isn't dead. Just. Alleviating that panic from go. She's fine. I promise. Everything is fine.
> 
> This is the last of young Catradora, but not the last of the fluff! I promise! 
> 
> I hope you like it nevertheless
> 
> Kudos and comments are life-giving <3
> 
> Here's my [twitter](https://twitter.com/xtitan_1) and my [tumblr](https://scorchflamedancer.tumblr.com/). Hit me up if you like. I love talking to people about this fic, Catradora, or just spop in general.


	5. Oaths

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I haven’t bound myself to a liege yet,” Catra said softly.
> 
> Adora smiled wryly. “Of course not. You only just returned, and my mother-”
> 
> “I don’t intend to bind myself to the Lady Commander,” she answered quietly, sinking to a knee, placing the blade gently to the length of her arm as was customary for knights. “Lady Adora… would you accept my oaths of fealty to you?” 
> 
> The blonde woman let out a quiet gasp in surprise. “Catra…”

Adora had become totally obsessed and absorbed into her training as a method of coping with the crushing disappointment and anxiety that threatened to consume her. Next campaign, she would _not_ be left behind. She would not be separated from Catra again. She would make herself strong, fast, sharpen her skills so that no one, not even her mother, could deny her the right to fight alongside the army she would one day command. She huffed as she lifted and tossed the large rock weight she favored in the practice yard, her biceps straining with the effort. Strands of her blonde hair, as always, worked their way out of the leather cord she would always bind it with and plastered themselves to her neck with. Her whole body was slick with sweat, all of the other cadets having long left her to her own devices. 

No one even tried to convince her to come to dinner with the rest of them anymore. This had been her routine since Catra had left two years ago. 

She would wake up and idly nibble on a cold breakfast as she suffered the lessons her mother insisted she continued. It didn’t matter how proficient Adora had proved herself in any subject, her mother always insisted that there was more to learn, more to know. So with a determined expression, she finished everything as fast as she could. Then at midday, she would eat as quickly as possible without choking or giving herself a stomach ache before making her way to the practice yard taking it slow at first with stretches and then running around the yard until the other cadets filed in. Then it was time to run drills and spar, working out all of her hurt and rage with every swing. When everyone was tired of fighting her for the day, she would move on to the training dummies to refine new techniques to work in the muscle memory. Then she would move on to strength training until she could no longer move her body, often complaining of how it betrayed her.

The hollow space in her chest that had made itself known in Catra’s absence was never able to be filled, so rather Adora distracted herself from the empty feeling, losing herself in the movement of muscle, the pumping of adrenaline, the sensation of metal clanging against metal running up her arms as she sparred, the rough stone beneath her palms and fingertips.

She didn’t even look up when she heard cheering at the feast hall, having moved on to doing lunges across the yard shifting a smaller stone from side to side with every step, her calves burning with the effort. She knew in perhaps an hour, she would be forced to stop, hobble her way to her room, and have food sent up while she soaked her angry body in a warm bath. She knew she was probably working too hard. But she just couldn’t stop, and no one could convince her to. Her nose twitched realizing the cheering had kicked up again. What were they all up to now? She let the stone drop to her side and took a moment to breathe, her chest rising and falling as she panted in an attempt to fill her lungs with air. Her eyes narrowed peering into the far distance, seeing the doors to the hall were flung wide open and the light from inside filtered out to cut against the fading light.

Adora squinted seeing a handful of people meander out, all appearing to follow a single figure that seemed to be shooing them away. That was odd so early in the dinner hour. She shook her head, deciding she would just move back to the training dummies for now. She wanted to train to be able to fight in fading and no light anyway. Adora replaced the stone among it’s fellows before pulling out a dulled practice blade she favored and squaring up to a wooden dummy fitted with irreparable armor. She held herself in her first position before she began her exercise. 

Right hip twice. 

Right hip, then right torso. 

Right hip, then right shoulder. 

Right hip, then head. 

Right hip, then left shoulder. All the way around the body of the dummy until she moved on to the next phase of the right torso being the first blow in the combo, and again working her all the way around the body.

She’d done this drill so many times, she felt she could do it in her sleep, even at the near lightning speeds she practiced it at now. It was one of the few things she did that she could actually turn her brain off and just move, so she let herself. So engrossed was she in her drill, she didn’t notice that someone was watching.

Catra smiled tenderly, hands on her hips as she watched her best friend work the pell. Pride and affection welling in her chest at every swing and grunt. She stood in the standard blacks and reds of an officer in the Horde’s military fashion, having earned the rank of captain while away, indicated by the badge on her chest. Her dark hair had only grown longer since she was away, and she tied it back neatly behind her head, though it strained against its own leather cord. But also there was a new addition to what she wore. An unadorned chain hung about her neck and a white belt hung at her hips indicating her elevation to the knightly peerage, a newly commissioned sword and it’s matching dagger resting at her hips. She’d done it. She’d proven herself to her peers. Proven that she was worth more than anyone had ever thought possible. Well. With one exception. Adora had always thought the world of her and was never shy to say so. 

Catra’s aqua and golden eyes wrinkled as she smiled, waiting for the break between sets that Adora was meant to be taking with this exercise. She chuckled when there was no break, shaking her head. She hadn’t changed a bit… She arched an eyebrow noting the toned muscles that rippled throughout her body. The curve of her hips, her breasts, her jaw more slender and angular, the vestiges of childhood gone, womanhood having taken its place. 

Well. Maybe a bit, she thought with flushed cheeks.

“Hey Adora,” she said just loud enough to be heard between swings.

The blonde froze and slowly turned at the voice, taking in the sight of her friend. And suddenly, the hollow space in her chest was filled. She sucked in a shuddering breath, dropping her sword and sprinting towards her. Adora slammed into her, the pair falling back into the dust with an ‘oof’ and a ‘thud’. Though neither seemed to care, arms wrapped firmly around one another, faces buried in shoulders. Adora didn’t care that she was covering herself in dirt, and Catra didn’t care that her new uniform was soaking in sweat that wasn’t her’s. They held each other tightly, arms around waists, fingers in hair, muscles strained in the strong embrace.

“You’re acting like you missed me. How embarrassing for you,” the magicat teased gently.

Adora laughed, feeling tears pricking her eyes as she pulled back just enough to meet her eyes. “When did you get home?!” She scrubbed away the moisture that was forming there. 

“Only a few hours ago. I managed to secure leave home ahead of the rest of the company. I looked for you in the feast hall, but I didn’t see you.” She gave her a knowing look. “I assumed you would be here…”

She grinned sheepishly, cheeks burning, and she reluctantly moved to dislodge herself, offering Catra a hand up. As easily as breathing, she took it and they both stood sizing each other up, Adora noticing Catra, while taller than she was, was a few inches shorter now. It was odd no longer being eye to eye with her and having to ever so slightly crane her neck. Despite the observation, “You look good,” Adora said softly before smirking. “Captain.” There was no small amount of pride in her voice as she said it.

She hooked a thumb in her own white belt, a symbol of her knighthood, for emphasis. “Sir Captain to you,” she snickered, elbowing her in the side.

Adora laughed reaching for the unadorned chain on her neck, tracing it with a finger before letting her hand fall. “I see that! Congratulations! How did that happen?”

She shrugged. “Oh, you know. Strategy, cunning… Being better than everyone else,” she smirked, taking in the melodic sound of her friend’s laughter. “But honestly,” she began quietly, her expression growing more stoic. “It…” Her brow furrowed, and Adora blinked in concern slipping her hand in hers. “It’s painful to talk about,” she murmured. “But… I can say that it was meritorious in nature…” She swallowed thickly. “Lives were lost…”

Adora nodded in understanding, giving her hand a squeeze. “We don’t need to speak of it.” Catra nodded gratefully, replacing her dower expression with a happier one.

“It’s so good to be home.” Her brows shot up as if remembering something. “Oh!” She released her hand with some reluctance before she patted down her pockets before withdrawing the scarf Adora had given her. It was dingey and frayed, the once deep blue color having lost its brilliance months and months ago, but it was the same silk scarf. “Thank you for this…” She said offering it back. “It was a comfort to have. It made me feel… less alone.”

Adora felt her cheeks bloom with red color and she averted her eyes bashfully, using looking at the scarf as an excuse. “Do you not want it anymore?”

“You had said you were only lending it to me,” the brunette laughed watching her fidget under the scrutiny. “You were very adamant on that point if I recall correctly.”

“I’d only said that so you would come home safe,” she whispered, her voice thick with emotion. “I don’t know what I would’ve done if you hadn’t come home. When the Third Moon Company returned without you, I…” She trailed off her face twisting in a tortured expression, a heavy pause hanging in the air before Adora slowly raised her head to see Catra staring at her with the softest expression she had ever seen on the other girl… no. Woman. They were grown women now. Weren’t they? Nearly eighteen. She felt as if her heart caught in her throat when their eyes met, amber and sapphire meeting ocean blue. While the silence stretched, and the tension softened, the air electrictrified. Adora pulled in a breath, taking half a step forward to say something, do _something_ before her anxiety got the better of her and she decided against it. 

Catra had realized in their separation just how strongly she felt about her best friend but was unsure how to proceed from here. She had always known that there seemed to be that… unspoken thing between them, now that they were older, it had become almost tangible. But was it safe? There weren’t any other couples like them that she had ever heard of, not in the Horde. A human with a person that was distinctly _not_ human. That fact alone made her nervous. Nevermind she was Adora Weaver, the Commander’s daughter and of noble birth. The Commander’s hatred for Catra was well known by all. All except for perhaps Adora that remained painfully oblivious. 

Either way. 

Catra wanted to speak to her about something else. She pushed up the sleeve of her left arm and drew the sword at that hip. “I haven’t bound myself to a liege yet,” she said softly.

Adora smiled wryly. “Of course not. You only just returned, and my mother-”

“I don’t intend to bind myself to the Lady Commander,” she answered quietly, sinking to a knee. “I meant what I said all those years ago,” she whispered, placing the blade gently to the length of her arm as was customary for knights. “Lady Adora… would you accept my oaths of fealty to you?” 

The blonde woman let out a quiet gasp in surprise. “Catra…” But she was met with a hard stare, everything about her serious. She remembered their conversation after the first time they witnessed this very ceremony. Is this why Catra had worked so hard? Why she had aspired to be a knight since that day? The magicat knew how Adora felt about this, all of it. So the look of blazing determination in her eyes only served as proof to just how serious she was about this. The words Catra had spoken that night ringing in her memory.

~  
_“You’re just so… _good_. You… you care about people. And I think… if you’re going to serve someone, bleed for someone… you’re the kind of person that deserves that kind of loyalty. To have people following you. And you would never ask someone to do something you wouldn’t do yourself.” She had given a firm nod. “That’s why it’s important… at least to me. And why I would do it. So long as it’s you.”_  
~

With a deep breath Adora nodded before giving the traditional response after a long pause, internally struggling for a moment. “I will accept your oaths as your liege lady,” she began in a whisper. “Will you keep the peace in accordance with the laws and customs of this land, and uphold the honor of my house and my name?” She winced knowing what was to come next. 

“I shall keep them.” Catra maintained eye contact not allowing herself to flinch as she drew the edge of her sword in a shallow cut along the length of her arm.

Adora swallowed thickly, doing all she could to focus on her words at Catra’s mismatched eyes, and not the blood dripping from her friend’s arm. “Will you follow me into all peril and aid in the protection of those in my charge with mercy and truth?”

“I shall follow.” Another cut alongside the first.

“Will you…” She knew this next part. Knew that it was where she would ask her to swear to die for her at a whim. But she didn’t want that. She swallowed thickly, her blue eyes growing hard, determined as she altered oaths that were centuries old. “Will you stand beside me and fight with me in all my battles, and never again let us part, even in death?” 

Catra’s eyes widened at her, feeling her own heart swell. But still, she nodded and replied with her own modification to the oath, “I shall stand. With you. Fight _with_ you. Stay with you. Always.” The final draw cut came across her arm. She sheathed the sword in its scabbard and held it up to Adora with both hands open palmed, head bowed. She took the sword from the woman on her knees and unsheathed it again wiping the blood from the blade with the edge of her already stained training tunic and setting it aside. Catra then presented her with the dagger at her hip as well.

Adora took the knife and merely pricked her thumb with the tip, before sliding the blade back in its scabbard that Catra held. “I accept your oaths of fealty, Sir Catra… rise.” She offered her hand to help her to her feet.

Catra arched an eyebrow at her with a mischievous smirk, instead taking her hand and yanking her down beside her into the dirt making her yelp.

“Hey!”

The brunette let out a cackle at her indignation and surprise, pulling a cloth from her belt to clean and bandage the slices along her arm. “You missed me,” she snickered, not a hint of apology in her voice.

Adora responded by elbowing her in the ribs after moving to sit beside her. “Of course I did,” she said, resting her head on her shoulder.

Catra’s ears perked up at the familiar touch, and she smiled as she tended her arm, doing her best to not bring any attention to it. Yet as always, she was betrayed by her deep rolling purr. “I missed you too, princess.”

~~~

Having Catra home was like a dream, but Adora knew something was… different. But not in a bad way. Adora would have thought their time apart would’ve done more to distance them. While, yes. Catra seemed to startle sometimes at certain sounds and seemed more anxious around a lot of people with an increased hypervigilance, everything between them was just as easy as it had always been. And somehow, even more so? Everything that was good only seemed to be better, their long absence reminding them just how much they relied on and meant to each other. 

There was always a pleasant charge in the air, a tension that she recalled being there before, but now… she couldn’t get enough of it. They both seemed to find excuses to be nearer to one another, to touch one another casually on the back or shoulder, sit or stand elbow to elbow, hold hands, rest against the other’s shoulder. It wasn’t as if it didn’t happen before the campaign, but it just seemed… more frequent. And somehow, more intimate. Whether it was during training, taking meals together, or just when they were spending their free time in one another’s company. Which was regrettably harder to come by these days. Adora was being groomed to take over her mother’s position, and Catra had new responsibilities as a Captain.

Today, however. They were determined to have their time be their own. They were in Adora’s rooms when:

“Let’s go riding,” Catra exclaimed, having tackled her friend to the floor, the biggest shit-eating grin on her face.

Adora laughed as they wrestled as she attempted to free herself. “Riding? What brought this on?” 

The magicat flopped over to lie beside her on the floor. She rested on an elbow to look down at her. “I’m so fucking bored,” she growled. “Seeing the same people, in the same place, doing the same thing. Every. Single. Day. I’m going mad,” she groaned falling backward. “Besides, we haven’t gone to our spot since I’ve been home. I miss it.”

The blonde shrugged, accepting her reasoning. “I suppose that’s fair enough.” Her nose twitched. “But you know how Mother’s been lately. She’ll insist on us bringing an escort,” she muttered. Catra rolled her eyes in response. Commander Weaver had not been pleased when she learned that Adora had accepted Catra’s oaths of fealty, knowing that that meant there was little she could do now to keep them apart that wouldn’t shame her and House Weaver. But that didn’t mean she couldn’t dilute the influence on her daughter by seeing to it that she sent guards with them whenever she could.

“There is an easy solution to this,” she murmured. “We could just… saddle up… and ride.” Her fanged toothy grin returned. 

Adora only smirked in response, silent communication passing between them before they sprang to their feet and ran out of her rooms and to the stables, laughing all the way out. They wanted to hurry so there was less of a chance of being caught, so they only fit their horses with bridles, forgoing even saddle blankets before swinging atop their mounts.

The pair kicked their horses and launched out of the stable grounds as if they were being chased. And if anyone noticed who it was galloping away, someone very well could’ve been. Adora let out a whoop once the high walls of the castle were out of view, sitting back in her seat and letting go of the reins, holding her arms out wide as she laughed, tipping her chin up towards the sky. If she could ever go flying, she imagined this is how it would feel. Wind whipping her hair from its leather cord, the lightness in her chest, the familiar but rare taste of freedom.

Catra maintained her seat on her own gelding, but couldn’t keep herself from smiling at her liege lady, her best friend… her… She couldn’t help but laugh at herself. Of course, she was something more. She had always known that to be true. And she supposed that Adora knew it too by the look she gave her now, and her heart-melting when ocean blue eyes met her own. The pair grinned at each other, the pink blooming on their cheeks not going unnoticed by the other.

It didn’t take long before they came to their spot along the river bank, a crude childish depiction of their faces carved in a tree proving as much. They took a moment to walk the horses to cool them down from their run before tying down their leads on a post they’d improvised long since then.

Adora reached up, stretching with a groan. “Gods, it feels good to ride like that,” she murmured.

Catra’s tail swished in thought before she started pulling off her boots. She dropped them by the trunk of their tree, and then started on her belt. Her stripping was met with a confused expression.

“Catra?”

“Yes, princess?”

“What are you doing?”

“Undressing,” she said casually, pulling off her tunic and tossing it aside, the only fabric from the hips up being her chest wrap.

“Yes, Catra, I can see that. Why are you undressing?” She laughed, crossing her arms as she watched, her face growing warmer as she did.

“I thought it might be nice to go swimming,” she said innocently. “Won’t you join me?”

Adora pressed her lips in a tight line in attempts to stifle a laugh. “I… suppose…” It was a nice day… and it was rare when Catra wanted to go swimming. She began with her boots, trying to decide if she would follow suit and remove her tunic. She decided that it wasn’t as if they’d never seen each other in less. When the pair had stripped down to their small clothes, Adora looked up and stared openly without realizing it.

She walked towards the water, moving with an unmistakable grace, her hips swaying in a way that made it impossible for Adora to avert her gaze. She smiled sensing her friend’s eyes on her and turned to look over her shoulder. “What?” Catra asked, arching her eyebrow in question. 

“I. Um. Nothing,” she managed to get out, clearing her throat.

“You coming, princess?” She asked with a wink. Adora sputtered, face so bright red, Catra’s cheek turned a bit pink despite the thin layer of fur that usually obscured such things. “Hurry up, Adora,” she cackled, slipping into the water.

The blonde stayed silent as she moved much more stiffly to step into the water. She shook her head, recalling how powerful this current had felt and how endlessly deep the water was when she had met her knight as children. 

She noted the shake of her head and quipped, “What, regretting the swim already?” She chuckled, pulling her hair out of the leather cord that bound it, shaking out her thick brown mane.

Adora blinked. “What? Oh. No, I was just. Thinking.” She sunk down into the water, letting it come up to her chin as she relaxed.

The magicat arched an eyebrow following suit. “Oh? What were you thinking, exactly?”

“About the day we met,” she answered easily.

Catra hummed at the memory. “You mean the best day of my life? I remember it well.”

She snorted, splashing at her. “Please. It was not. You almost drowned!” Her denial was met with an arched eyebrow.

“You doubt my word?”

“I doubt your ability to be serious.”

With a shrug of acquiescence, she submerged underwater briefly and came back up, tossing her head back to get all of the hair out of her face, allowing it to plaster itself along her shoulders and back. She could feel Adora’s gaze on her. “I suppose that’s fair,” she mused quietly, slowly walking towards her. “But I assure you…” she came close, dangerously close, an arm coming around her middle so the pair could just float together. “I’m quite serious,” she crooned.

Adora smiled, resting her head against Catra’s. “Why was it the best day of your life?” She only closed her eyes when the other woman traced fingers down her cheek, enjoying the volts of electricity that seemed to pulse along her skin where Catra touched her.

“The day I met you?” She could feel her pulse in her ears as they twitched, her throat running dry. She gripped what remained of her courage and continued. “The day I met the love of my life? How could it not be the best day?” Catra held her breath for just a moment before continuing on. “Adora… you do know that I love you… right?”

Adora sucked in a deep breath, letting the words hang in the air for just a moment, feeling as if it were something sacred that just… needed its own space for a heartbeat or two. “Yes,” she whispered. “I do…” She pressed Catra’s hand more fully against her cheek and held it there before lifting her eyes to meet her gaze. “And… you know that I love you too… don’t you?” Her heart fluttered when Catra closed the distance between them so their noses were touching.

“Yes,” she replied in a low husky voice. “I feel… I always have.” The pair both giggled, Adora’s arms coming around her waist. They rested in their embrace, finally finding clarity on what it was that had been different between them. It was this… what was unspoken between them couldn’t remain unspoken any longer. That was the tension, the electricity that pulsed around them. But now the electricity had an entirely different quality to it. Catra met Adora’s gaze for a moment before giving her a warm smile and closing that small distance between them to brush their lips together.

At first Adora’s eyes widened for only a brief moment, her mind going blank, but she easily relaxed into the kiss, her lips moving softly with the magicat’s, fingers combing themselves through her thick mane. She inhaled deeply through her nose, loving the sensation of Catra’s fur against her skin, the scent of cinnamon and cloves filling her senses. Her touch was like fire set to dry tinder, everything within her burning. She never wanted to stop, never wanted to release her. Adora’s heart keened at the fear of being forced apart from her knight again, from her love. This was it. All she had ever wanted. To be in the arms of this girl, to be kissed, to be loved by her until the world came to an end.

Finally, their lips parted and Adora blinked as she stared deeply into gorgeous amber and sapphire eyes, studying every line and fleck of color in them. She let out a low almost rolling laugh. “Wow…”

Catra snorted affectionately, pressing her forehead to her’s. “Don’t ruin it,” she teased before pulling her into another kiss. And then another, drawing Adora ever closer to hold her up in the water. The blonde obliged, wrapping her legs around her waist, fingers working their way through thick brown hair. She held her with one hand under her thigh and an arm around her perfectly sculpted waist. Her blood boiled at the new sensations, the rawness of it all. Catra had always hoped that it could be like this one day but thought it was only the stuff of dreams. She panted pulling back to kiss Adora’s neck. “Why didn’t you tell me?” She murmured.

Adora gasped, leaning into her touch with a shiver. “Why didn’t you?” she mumbled back, her grip on her hair tightening.

She let out a low rasping chuckle, gently pressing her lips down her shoulder. “I mean. I did,” she grinned.

With a shake of her head, she pulled Catra back in to catch her mouth with her own. Pure instinct took over. All worry, all concern, all doubt fled in the instant they connected. Adora locked her arms around her waist and kissed her hungrily. All of her repressed emotions and fantasies were poured into that kiss. Her senses were overwhelmed with all that was _her_. The shape of her mouth, the curve of her back, her scent filling her nostrils, the taste of her kiss… Adora had wanted her more than even she realized. “I love you,” she found herself whispering over, and over.

“I love you,” Catra crooned in response when they finally took a moment to breathe, the pair of them feeling lightheaded. “Gods…” She shook her head, tracing a clawed finger down her cheek. “You’re so beautiful…”

Adora felt her already warm cheek start to blaze as embarrassment coursed through her. “Stop,” she almost whined, burying her face in the other woman’s shoulder.

“I most certainly will not,” she huffed, hugging her close. “It’s far too late for all that. It’s out in the open now.” She began peppering her cheek and temple with kisses, tickling her with one hand, the other arm securely around her.

The blonde let out a shriek trying to break free as panicked giggles poured out of her. “Catraaa!”

“Promise you’ll never tell me to stop calling you beautiful again!” She countered, laughing along with her.

She gasped for breath between her peeling laughter, still struggling against her. Catra was a lot stronger than she looked. “Alright, alright! I promise!” She sucked in a deep breath when the hand assaulting her finally came to rest at her hip. She buried her face in her shoulder once more, fighting off the last of her giggle fit. “Fucking cunt,” she muttered affectionately.

Catra grinned, combing her fingers through her hair watching her melt at her touch. “What was that?”

Adora hummed feeling every muscle in her body slowly relaxing as she leaned into her hand. “Don’t stop.”

“That’s what I thought,” she chuckled, acquiescing. She hummed quietly, closing her eyes as she held her love. She grinned widely at the thought. She was finally able to say it, act on it. It was like a dream. “I love you,” she whispered.

“I love you, too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> =3
> 
> I hope you all enjoyed that. 
> 
> That scene in the training yard was one of the first I wrote for this thing. Working backwards is a really interesting process to say the least... And yay for the reveal of the story summary in context! More fluff to come!
> 
> Fun fact! Most of the knightly-esque traditions and such are pulled from both history and this medieval reenactment group called the SCA, including the sword training drill Adora does! I've done it myself a handful of times! What a fucking nerd, amirite? 
> 
> I know the time changes are quick and are a bit whiplash-y, but I promise that that is going to stop for a bit, and then there'll only be one more time jump. 
> 
> Comments and kudos are life-giving <3
> 
> Here's my [twitter](https://twitter.com/xtitan_1) and my [tumblr](https://scorchflamedancer.tumblr.com/). Hit me up if you like. I love talking to people about this fic, Catradora, or just spop in general.


	6. Mine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Why was I summoned, Commander? How can I be of service?” Catra asked as levelly as possible, and through her teeth. Her fur bristled even more as she felt cold eyes rake over the whole of her being, measuring to the inch and weighting to the ounce. It almost felt like violation.
> 
> “I want you to break your oaths to my daughter,” Weaver said casually, the words seeming to roll off her tongue. “I want you to return the dagger you carry with you, take the sword, and return to Half Moon where you belong with the rest of your kind.”
> 
> Catra glared at the witch, the rage building in her chest, her tail thrashing behind her, ears pressed flat against her head. “No,” she snapped.
> 
> “Even if I were to order it?”
> 
> “Even if the king ordered it.”
> 
> “Careful, Sir Catra… that sounds like treason to me.”

These months back from the campaign had certainly been an adjustment, shifting from one routine to another. Leaving both the stress of combat, but also the comradery to trade for strict regimentation and side-eyed glances. Again Catra was subject to the same disrespect and distrust that she thought she had moved passed since her elevation to both her captaincy and knighthood. While to her face she was given the proper respect her station demanded, her sharp ears could always pick out those cutting insults that burned like salt in an open wound.

But she would suffer the indignity, the scorn, the derision a hundredfold for one reason and one alone. She had Adora back. And not just that, Adora was _her's_. That made all worth it.

Though she had to remind herself of that often these days. Especially at moments like these.

Catra gritted her teeth as she stood at attention in Commander Weaver’s study waiting for her to finally speak. The woman infuriatingly sat behind her imposing desk, casually flipping through her reports and ledgers as if the captain wasn’t even standing there. Her knuckles strained as she gripped at her wrist behind her back, the vibrational tension running up her arm. It was all she could do to ground herself as she waited. The incessant tick, tick, ticking of a grandfather clock on the far wall was slowly driving her mad. She still forced her eyes forward doing all she could to try and keep her temper in check, the anxiety, and humiliation of being made to stand here as she had done to her since childhood. It didn’t matter to the Commander that Catra was a grown woman now, that she was a Force Captain in her own army, or that she had been knighted. She still treated her like the dirt under her boots and took every opportunity to remind her of it.

Finally, mercifully, she spoke.

“Why are you here, Catra?” She drolled, eyes still on her ledger.

Irritation ripped through her chest, ears laying back, and feeling the fur along her spine and down her tail flare out. “You sent for me, Commander. And dutifully, I came.”

This response was met with a ‘harumph’, still not even giving the courtesy of looking up. “Odd. You never cared much for duty before.”

It took everything in her to keep from scowling. “I’m not sure I like what you’re implying.”

“Oh, I’m sure you don’t.” She finally set her papers aside and folded her hands under her chin. “And it was less an implication, and more a statement of fact.”

Catra’s heterochromatic eyes grew sharp as she met her dark grey-green. “So we’ve sunk to the level of just overtly insulting my honor?”

Weaver scoffed. “What honor?”

She clicked her teeth together as she felt herself begin to shake with the effort of holding back her rage. “Why was I summoned, Commander? How can I be of service?” She asked as levelly as possible, and through her teeth. Her fur bristled even more as she felt cold eyes rake over the whole of her being, measuring to the inch and weighting to the ounce. It almost felt like violation.

“I want you to break your oaths to my daughter,” she said casually, the words seeming to roll off her tongue. “I want you to return the dagger you carry with you, take the sword, and return to Half Moon where you belong with the rest of your kind.”

Catra glared at the witch, the rage building in her chest, her tail thrashing behind her, ears pressed flat against her head. “No,” she snapped.

“Even if I were to order it?”

“Even if the king ordered it.”

“Careful, Sir Catra… that sounds like treason to me.”

“There is no reason to break my oaths to her, nevermind neither her nor I want them broken.”

Weaver rhythmically tapped her fingers along her desk. “Yes… it is… quite unfortunate. My daughter has always been fond of you… like a pet.” Catra ignored the common insult as she went on. “Though surely you’ve seen it lately. She’s grown less focused, her attention more divided. You take up too much of her thoughts, of her time. There are great things in store for my daughter, and I won’t have someone as insignificant as you clouding her mind and undoing all of the hard work I’ve put into molding her.”

The same old song and dance, was it? “I’m not sure I can agree with your observations. I’ve seen her do nothing but grow and excel at all that’s asked of her, and then some. If you have such an issue with her performance, why don’t you just speak to Lady Adora yourself?” 

“Because she has a blind spot where you are concerned. She cannot think rationally. Besides, it would sully her honor, and the honor of our house, if she were to dismiss you. But if you were to leave…”

Catra rolled her eyes. “You save face, and get rid of me in one go.”

She slapped a hand on her desktop, rising to her feet. “I save my daughter, and remove a liability in one go,” she corrected with a hiss and a harsh glare.

The captain sucked in a deep breath, giving her a blank stare feeling everything in her screaming at her to flee, to fight, but her gut twisted as she stood silent as she took everything that was being thrown at her.

“We both know what you did to bind yourself to my daughter was underhanded. If you were to offer yourself to anyone, it should have been to me in an assembly of your peerage. Not that private farce you orchestrated.” She slowly came from around the desk to stand in front of her, leaning forward to meet her eyes. “Though we both know you didn’t _really_ deserve to be knighted to begin with.” Her eyes narrowed. “We both know you should’ve died on that mission.”

Catra struggled, taking a few breaths to find her voice again. She managed to crack a wry smile. “What a shame for you that I didn’t. And now you’re stuck with me until Adora decides she doesn’t want me anymore…” She arched an eyebrow at her. “But that won’t ever happen… will it Commander?”

Weaver watched with a sick satisfaction as Catra gasped, red lightning coursing through her veins. The intensity grew, along with her screams, the young woman collapsing onto her knees grabbing at the sides of her head in attempts to dull the pain. Weaver watched her writhe in pain with a sort of sick satisfaction for a moment more before she relented, the lightning fading to nothing. “You’re dismissed, Force Captain,” she murmured strolling back behind her desk.

She twitched on the floor for a moment, panting heavily as she drew herself up, hate radiating from her blue and golden eyes. She bared her fanged teeth for a moment slowly shaking her head. “What did I ever do to make you hate me so much?” She tried to shove as much defiance into the question as possible, but it just came out weak and broken. She hated that.

The Commander regarded her with that same familiar contemptuous gaze, but she paused as if considering. Finally, after an agonizing length of silence, she said quietly, “You remind me of myself.” She took a seat behind her desk. “Dismissed, Force Captain.”

Catra’s jaw worked in shock and indignation at the insinuation. But she’d already been dismissed twice. She wasn’t about to risk enduring more torture needlessly, so she turned on her heel and fled the study as the rage and hatred built up in her gut.

~~

It had been a few days since the unfortunate meeting with Commander Weaver. And while it stayed at the forefront of her mind, Catra had very pointedly avoided sharing any bit of it with Adora. She just wanted to enjoy their time together, especially in having made it back to their special place by the river.

Autumn flowers had all come into bloom, and Adora was contentedly weaving the blooms into Catra’s coarse hair, sure to run her fingers pleasantly along her scalp in the process. The magicat let out a low contented sigh, feeling better just for the gentle affectionate touch, but still not purring as she usually would. Her thoughts were too clouded from that confrontation to fully relax at Adora’s touch.

“You’re quiet today,” Adora observed, still braiding. “Are you alright?”

Catra snorted. “Of course. Why would I not be?” She lied expertly, barring her jagged teeth in a grin. “Your touch is very soothing, my heart.” That part was true.

Either way, the explanation satisfied Adora. “I suppose that’s fair.”

“What of you?” She asked, reaching up to delicately trace her cheek with clawed fingertips. “You’re quiet as well.”

She sighed, leaning into her touch. “Just Mother,” she murmured.

Catra tensed but took a second to force herself to relax. She didn’t want to have to answer questions. So she supposed she would ask some, hoping it would distract her. “Oh? What of her?”

“She’s pushing me to start more seriously considering suitors.” Both women’s mouths twisted in disgust, knowing it meant more than likely meant male suitors. “She’s also been more insistent that I spend less time in the training yard and more in the classroom.”

She huffed. “Tell her to fuck off then. You’re of age in four months. You can set your own training schedule.”

“I mean. She does have a point… my role as Lady Commander will involve less fighting and a more administrative and strategic capacity.”

Catra swallowed thickly. “So I won’t be fighting beside you then?” She attempted to tease, fighting down the panic and unease at her love agreeing with that odious woman, regardless of what the subject was.

Adora chuckled, ceasing her braiding in favor of just lovingly combing her fingers through her hair. “Any fighting I’ll actually get the chance to do will be with you at my side. But odds are, the pair of us are going to be spending a lot of time in the Commander’s study.” She blinked in surprise when a heterochromatic glare was leveled at her. “What?”

Panic gripped her heart like an iron fist. “We’re going to be spending time in Weaver’s study?” She inquired, an unmistakable bite to her tone.

“I… yes? Once I start shadowing her after my promotion. The pair of us will be with her often.”

The terror of being forced to be near that woman so often welled up in her gut, the magicat sitting upright abruptly. “No,” she snapped.

“Catra?” Confusion was clear in Adora’s blue eyes.

“No. I’m not going anywhere near that witch,” she hissed. “Not if I can help it.”

Adora frowned, her own irritation growing. “She’s my mother and your Commander. You will show her some modicum of respect.” She shook her head in confusion. “What’s gotten into you?”

“So now you’re defending her?” Catra ground her teeth, turning to glare at the other woman. “Her. Of all people. She doesn’t need you to defend her, she’s quite capable of it herself, I assure you.”

“What in the five hells is that supposed to mean?!” She noted that her love was clenching her fists, claws biting into her own palms.

“Just what it sounds like! It’s bad enough when you lick your own mother’s boots when she’s present, you don’t have to do it when she can’t even hear you!” Where was this feeling coming from? This surge of rage and anxiety. She didn’t know what to do with it, so she leapt to her feet. She paced for a moment to try and work out her energy, but the panic just kept growing. She needed to get out of here. She turned to hurry towards her horse.

Adora sat there with eyes wide, jaw slack as she watched her. “C-Catra! Wait!” She stood reaching out towards her.

She just shook her head, uniting her gelding’s bridle from its post and swinging up onto his back. “You can’t make me shadow her,” she growled. “I’d sooner return my dagger to you.”

The blonde gasped as if she’d just been slapped, her heart sinking deep into her gut. A hand flew to her mouth as she watched the horse rear before galloping off. She sank back to the ground as her knight rode away, feeling as if a gaping wound had taken up space in her chest. What… what had just happened? Adora swallowed thickly, feeling tears prick her eyes. What had she done wrong?

~~~

Hours had passed since their argument along the river, and Catra was sitting under an eave of the barracks, her horse tied nearby. She didn’t want to chance going into the barn and running into Adora. Her tail twitched in irritation, not at her love, but with herself. She sighed heavily, hugging her knees into her chest. She watched the newly falling rain absently, feeling the whole of her being deflate. Adora hadn’t done anything to earn her ire, and still she had taken her rage out on her. It wasn’t fair. “She’s probably more angry at me than I had been at Weaver,” she told her horse. “She probably wants me to stay as far away from her as possible.” Her face contorted in pain and regret at the thought. “I probably really hurt her… implying I would break my oath. It was cruel of me…” She tried to swallow past the lump in her throat, but her mouth was far too dry for that. Catra looked up at the crying sky and sighed. She should probably stable her horse and get ready for bed.

With a final sigh, she stiffly rose to her feet and led the black gelding into the stable. Adora’s mare was already brushed and happily nibbling at her feed when Catra arrived. She must’ve gone to her rooms hours ago. The magicat took her time brushing out her own steed, her mind racing as she decided what she should do about all of this. She slid the paddock shut, staring down at the barn floor for a moment. She needed to take a walk, is what she needed. So with a final pat to her horse’s rump, she turned out of the stable and began walking despite the rain.

The young woman didn’t pay much attention to where she was actually walking, following down roads at twists and turns in the city. Every moment she’d spent with Adora ran through his mind, all of the tears and laughter, all of the love and friendship. All of the kisses… her smile, her touch. She wanted her more than anything, and that wasn’t changing. She wouldn’t let Commander Weaver or anyone else keep them apart, not for any reason. Not even herself. No threat or coercion, no fear… or even her own pride. Adora’s very soul seemed to sing to her, and she returned the song to form an indescribable connection that couldn’t be broken now that it had long since been forged. Adora was all that mattered. Adora was all that she had ever wanted. She needed her to know that. She needed to tell her, show her. Now.

She blinked when she came about the wall to the Keep’s grounds that were just outside Adora’s rooms. With a determined stare, Catra easily scaled the wall, careful to avoid any suspicious eye, and made her way to ascend up to her balcony, claws digging into stone as she climbed. 

Adora was sitting on her bed in nothing but her nightgown as she stared at the floor, replaying their conversation in her head over and over again. She didn’t know what she had said to upset her so much, desperate for answers as she thought, but came up empty every time.

It only took a few more moments for Catra to scale the wall and climb up onto the balcony that led into her rooms. She stared at her through the glass door for a moment before moving to push it open, lightning cracking in the distance, water dripping from her hair, fur, and clothes.

The other woman yelped in surprise before making out the familiar shape of her love. “C-Catra! What are you doing here?” She carefully moved off her bed to stand, about to take a step forward but then thinking better of it to stay where she was.

Catra felt her heart twist at her hesitance. She had done that. She had made her love uncertain, fearful. She couldn’t let it stand. “Adora, I am so sorry… I don’t know what came over me. I said awful things… cruel things I didn’t mean.” The rain had plastered her hair to her back and face, her soaked pants hugging her every curve as well as her white tunic that was practically see-through at this point.

Relief flooded Adora and she moved to close the distance between them, the moonlight likewise showing off her womanly figure. “Catra, if I did anything, or said anything to upset you, please forgive me. I never meant to…” She was cut off by a clawed finger pressed to her lips.

“You did _nothing_ wrong,” Catra whispered with a fervor that she didn’t often show, even to Adora. “I…” She traced her hand down the length of her bare arm, noting the tiny hair along her pale skin standing on ends at her touch. “I would never return the dagger to you,” she promised. “Nothing could ever make me do something so stupid. And of course, I would stand with you, wherever you asked me to.” She swallowed thickly meeting her fathomless eyes that were so blue, Catra wondered if she was in fact drowning in them. “I love you so much… with everything I am. And I…” She swallowed again, still trying to find moisture in her throat and failing. “I want you, Adora. All of you.”

Adora let out a breath, feeling a weight lifted from her shoulders. “I want you too, Catra. And if you really don’t want to shadow my mother, we won’t. You mean too much to me.”

Catra slowly shook her head, eyes suddenly so intense the other woman forgot how to breathe. “No, Adora. I _want_ you,” she said desperately, pulling her into a rough kiss, mouth working against her’s.

She gasped slightly at the kiss, at the feeling of Catra’s tongue brushing against her lip. But she easily closed her eyes, allowing her access. Her hands worked their way up her sides, loving the feeling, the dips and curves of her body against her skin as she moved her hands to grip at her dark hair.

Catra gently, carefully traced her claws along Adora's sides feeling her shiver under her touch. She settled her hands on her hips, lightly gripping at her nightgown, feeling the steadily growing warmth of her skin beneath the fabric. 

Fire. Everything was on fire. Adora had a hard time breathing, a hard time thinking. She was moved now not by rational thought, only passion, and desire. She pulled at Catra's tunic, pulling it loose from being tucked beneath her belt and then moved her fingers under her shirt to feel along the contours of her stomach. She felt a thrill of excitement run through her when she heard Catra give a low moan as her fingers passed over muscle and thin fur. “You know that I’m yours to take… don’t you? That I’ve always been yours?”

Catra smirked, an arm coming around her waist and pulling her tightly to her chest. “If you weren’t before… you will be by the time the sun rises,” she crooned in a sultry voice, kissing along her neck, carefully sucking and nipping as she trailed it with kisses. “I _will_ make you mine…”

Adora closed her eyes and gasped in pleasure. “And you’ll be mine,” she whispered, reaching up her shirt to take her breasts in her hands.

~~~

It was an awkward affair, to be sure. First attempts often were. It was clumsy, silly, and messy, filled with laughter and confusion… but it was also passionate and intense. It was so tender… so loving. The pair spent the rest of their evening hesitantly, but excitedly exploring each other’s bodies as well as their own learning what they could of what they liked, but also searching for what pleased the other. Gentle touches, sweet kisses, and the constantly repeated mantra of ‘I love you, I love you, I love you.’ What they had experienced that night was something unlike anything they had done before. It was breathtaking, this vulnerable, tender thing that left their soul laid bare before one another. That left them in awe, that brought them to tears at its beauty.

Adora was the first to wake that morning, the sun only just barely streaming through the window. She sucked in a deep breath before trying to move to sit up, but there was something warm and heavy pressed up against her that stopped her. She blinked looking down to see a sleeping Catra. Recollection flooded her and she smiled realizing their bodies were still intertwined, a tail curled around her ankle, fur pressed to skin. She let out a quiet contented sigh as she listened to the quiet steady breathing of her lover, ambient sounds of bird song coming from just outside the window. 

She stared down at her, feeling her heart swell as she replayed the evening in her mind over and over. This was really happening. Catra was her’s… and she was Catra’s. Waking up to her face, to her touch was like the feeling of coming home. She had never felt so content, so loved in all her life. It was in this moment she realized that this was all she wanted. Forget the war. Forget armies and titles. Forget rules, responsibilities, tradition, expectation, all of it. All she wanted, all she had ever wanted was this woman in her arms. She wanted to fall asleep with her every night, wake up to her every morning. She wanted to know every little thing about her she’d yet to learn and be there when new facets were discovered. Adora wanted a life, a family with her. 

She sucked in a shuddering breath at the heaviness of this realization, moisture flooding her eyes. She quickly wiped it away before she leaned in to press gentle kisses along her temple, unable to stop herself. She knew that her partner woke up when she not only heard but felt the rolling purr that reverberated through her skin.

“Hey Adora,” Catra crooned, leaning into the kisses momentarily before turning her head to catch her lips with her own. “How did you sleep?”

“Like the dead,” she chuckled before shifting to bury her face in her hair, loving the sensation of the purrs.

Catra traced clawed fingers along Adora’s skin with her own contented sigh, smirking as she reacted with pleasant shivers. She was so beautiful, she just couldn’t stop touching her. Every lovely, muscular curve of her body was just begging to be kissed and caressed. And so she did. 

Silence lapsed between them for a time before the knight let out a bedraggled sigh. “I have to get up,” she grumbled.

Adora groaned, wrapping her arms more firmly around her lover. “Nooo,” she whined. “Just stay in bed with me all day…”

She chuckled. “You know I have responsibilities, princess. How would it look if I didn’t show up for all of my appointments as a newer Captain?”

“Can I order you to stay in bed?” She asked with bright eyes. 

Catra shrugged. “I suppose if you don’t mind your mother beating me you could,” she muttered bitterly. Then she stiffened, realizing she’d just said that out loud. She swallowed thickly, waiting for her response.

Adora pulled back with wide eyes, her heart sinking into her gut. No. She had to be joking. “Beat you?” She asked with a nervous laugh. “What is that supposed to mean?” She paused when Catra didn’t respond, her ears lying back against her head. “What do you mean, beat you?” She repeated in horror as pieces seemed to click into place in her mind. Her eyes shifted back and forth as she processed. There was a determined set to her brow as she grabbed hold of the blankets and threw them off to the foot of the bed. She gasped, only now in the light of day seeing and understanding the fresh scars that ran up and down her body for what they were. 

They definitely weren’t from battle or training. They looked like sprawling dead trees crawling up her limbs, and Catra only groaning despondent under her gaze. While Adora didn’t bear these sorts of scars herself, she’d seen them often enough on others that had sufficiently angered her mother. And these were so fresh, Catra’s fur not having a chance to grow over and cover them. Her heart sank into her chest as she stared with wide eyes. “Catra,” she whimpered, her fingers gripping at the sheets as her head spun.

The magicat was quick to move to her knees, taking her love by her shoulders. “Adora, it’s alright. I’m alright. See?” She touched one of the angrier scars along her arm. “It doesn’t even hurt anymore.”

She shook her head, fixated on a large branch of scars that settled just at her navel. “Why didn’t you tell me?” She met her eyes when she didn’t receive an answer. “How long has this been going on?!”

Catra swallowed thickly. “Since we were children,” she murmured, averting her gaze. She wasn’t able to face the pain in her eyes. “This newest batch of burns was from a few days ago.” She gritted her teeth knowing Adora would require more information. “She… wanted me to break my oaths… return the dagger, and send me away to hide from you in Half Moon.” She winced looking up to see Adora seething and groaned when she sprung to her feet to quickly dress. “Adoraaa,” she groaned, quickly finding her tunic and pulling it over her head before going to take her wrist. “I know what you’re thinking,” she murmured. “Don’t.”

“I’m going to give her a piece of my mind,” she hissed. 

“No. No, you’re not. You’re going to pretend you never saw the scars, never put the pieces together, and move on with your life.”

Adora stared at her as if she was growing a second head. “What?! No! I’m not letting this stand! I can’t just-!” She only paused when a delicate hand traced her cheek.

“You can, and you will,” Catra answered softly. “Listen.” With her free hand, she laced her fingers together. “I’m alright. I’m not a mere maiden in need of defending. I’m a soldier. I’m your knight. I can handle whatever she can throw at me. I have for this long, and I can keep doing it. Confronting her…” She shook her head. “She’ll only separate us. That would be a far worse fate. And I’d rather take the torment of her magic and her beatings than be apart from you.” She leaned in to press their foreheads together. “I’m not that strong, Adora. Being apart from you for so long. I couldn’t bear it. Please. Please just swallow this. Let me stay with you.”

Adora’s eyes stung as her mind reeled with this new information. The character of her mother, the abuse her love had sustained since childhood, her pleading to allow this abuse to continue. “Catra,” she whimpered, her voice thick with emotion. “You understand you’re asking me to just…”

“I know exactly what I’m asking of you.” She brought the hand she held to her lips, gently kissing her knuckles. “I’m asking you to let me stay with you as I promised.” She tilted her chin up, to gently brush Adora’s cheek with kisses. “It’s alright… I’m alright.”

The blonde slowly shook her head, lifting a trembling hand to trace along the burn scars along her arm. “Since we were children?” She asked weakly.

Catra swallowed thickly. “Adora-”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” She met her gaze with wide eyes. “This has been happening for years, and you never once said anything? You just let it happen?”

She ground her teeth, trying to think of a way out of this. “What could I have done? What could either of us have done? We were children…”

Adora shook her head, throwing her arms around her knight and hugging her tightly. She held her as if maybe her embrace was strong enough she could erase all those years of torment and shield her from all harm. “I’m going to save you,” she whispered. “I’m going to do everything in my power to be sure she never touches you again. You’re mine. She can’t have you, and she can’t send you away.” She gritted her teeth as her fingers dug lightly into her skin. 

Catra smiled weakly, resting her head against her shoulder, forcing as much sincerity in her voice as she could muster. “Whatever you say, princess.” She pressed a kiss to her jaw. “I’m yours. I was always yours.” The admission made the other woman nod in satisfaction.

“Mine.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The more I write the less certain I am at what the chapter count is going to be. Oof. 
> 
> Enjoy the fluff while it lasts my lovelies. I have not yet even begun to angst. Real angst isn't too far in the distance. In a chapter or two, we're about to take a hard turn into PLOT
> 
> I hope you like it. Comments and kudos are life-giving <3
> 
> Here's my [twitter](https://twitter.com/xtitan_1) and my [tumblr](https://scorchflamedancer.tumblr.com/). Hit me up if you like. I love talking to people about this fic, Catradora, or just spop in general.


	7. Coming of Age

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You look beautiful, princess,” Catra nearly whispered. “Those nobles don’t deserve you.”
> 
> Adora melted into her arms at the words.“So are you,” she said before pulling back to meet her gemstone eyes. She grinned noting the color in her cheeks as well. “Sir Catra… are you blushing?”
> 
> The magicats ears twitched despite her attempts to not give away her own excited jitters. “I don’t have the slightest idea what you’re talking about.”
> 
> Adora tsked with a smug expression. “Tsk, I can’t believe you like me. That must be so embarrassing for you,” she teased easily.

It was a struggle. Nearly every night Adora saw the scars, it brought up the pain anew in her mind. How could she have been so blind to Catra’s pain for so long? Her anxiety was so apparent now whenever her mother was brought up or nearby. Of course Catra would play it off with sarcasm and witty remarks, but Adora knew better, knew Catra. So she kept her promise as best she could. She avoided the subject like the plague, and whenever her mother came near, she would firmly plant herself between the two women. She was determined to protect her. 

The young lovers spent their winter together in their own way of domestic bliss. At least as much as possible with their circumstances. Adora had arranged for Catra to be assigned as her bodyguard, which gave her more excuse to be in the Keep, and more importantly her room without being questioned. They more than abused this new privilege, and there wasn’t much guarding happening at all.

Catra was laid out on Adora’s bed, her tail lazily swishing about as she watched her lover frantically sorting through dresses, deriving a sort of strange sort of pleasure at watching her flounder and overthink this very simple thing. “It’s only clothes Adora. Just pick something.”

Tonight was Adora’s eighteenth name day celebration. It was to be both a ball and a formal promotion ceremony, and Adora wasn’t sure which part made her more anxious. “It’s not only clothes!” She grunted, tossing aside a sickly looking yellow dress. “Tonight’s important Catra! Dignitaries will be coming!”

She pressed her lips together in a tight line to try and keep herself from laughing. “And?”

“ _And_ I need to make a good impression!” She kept sorting through her clothes, shaking her head and muttering to herself as she did. Adora glanced over at her and frowned. “Why aren’t you even the slightest bit stressed? Do you even know what you’re wearing?”

The magicat grinned widely. “I have a formal dress uniform. I think I’m covered.”

Adora closed her eyes and sucked in a frustrated breath. “Of. Course.” She sighed massaging her forehead. 

Catra, finally taking pity on her, hopped off the bed and sauntered over to the wardrobe Adora had all but torn apart. She casually flipped through what was left before pulling out a beautiful red gown with long draping sleeves and a neckline that came a bit lower, but not immodestly so. The hems all trimmed in a bright silver, as well as fine embroidery around the collar and sleeves. “Here. Problem solved.”

Adora stared blankly at her for a moment as if she’d just ceased to function. “How… how did I miss that?!”

“You always get too in your own head and miss the obvious,” Catra shrugged, handing her the dress. “You’ll look lovely in it,” she crooned leaning in to give her a peck on the cheek.

She took it with a murmured thanks before sinking down onto her bed just staring at it, rubbing her thumbs along the embroidery.

The magicat dropped down to sit beside her, crossing one leg over the other. She waited for a moment before pressing a finger to the blonde’s forehead. “What’s wrong now?” She asked patiently.

“I… I don’t know,” she whispered, anxiety clear in her voice. She leaned to the side until she came to rest against Catra’s shoulder taking in a deep breath through her nose. “I don’t know.”

Clawed fingers started slowly working their way through her hair. “Then tell me what you do know.”

Adora leaned into her touch, the sensation grounding. “I know I’m nervous about tonight.”

Catra nodded. “What else?” She prompted.

“I know that Mother is going to parade suitors in front of me in hopes I’ll agree to marry one,” she muttered bitterly.

“I know,” she sighed, pressing a kiss to her temple. “But it won’t be all bad. You’re also being promoted. Isn’t that exciting at least a little?” She arched an eyebrow when Adora shook her head. “Why ever not?”

Her face contorted in irritation as she considered. “Do I even deserve it? Aren’t I only just being promoted because of who my mother is? I haven’t even seen a real battle!”

“Neither have half the lieutenants in the militia,” Catra chuckled. “Adora. What did I tell you when you were promoted to squad leader?”

Adora pressed her lips in a tight line, clearly resisting what she was saying. What she knew Catra was about to say.

“No one works harder than you,” she began gently. “No one deserves this more than you. No one cares as deeply about those in their charge as you do. Commander’s daughter or no, you earned this. It’s yours. And anyone that tries to tell you that you haven’t I’ll fight them.” She arched an eyebrow at her. “Even you,” she snickered, lightly shoving at her.

With a laugh, Adora shoved her back before straightening. “Thank you,” she murmured before pulling her into a kiss. “You always know just what to say,” she sighed contentedly.

Catra nuzzled her nose for a moment. “Come on princess. You should get dressed. We both should, honestly.”

Reluctantly, the pair of them rose to their feet and with a parting kiss and embrace, Catra slipped out of the room to make her way towards her private quarters in the barracks.

~~

Adora spent hours working to prepare herself for the evening to come, bathing and brushing, fussing with her hair and make up. She always hated servants helping her with this sort of thing, so she did her best with what she had, feeling like she was struggling every step of the way. She stared at herself in the mirror and let out a long breath studying the way her golden hair framed her face, the contrast of the rouge on her lips against her pale powered skin. She could never come to a place where she could say she was pleased with her appearance when forced into a dress, but she decided it would do. Adora glanced towards the window seeing the sun dipping down over the horizon, realizing it was time to go. With a deep breath she rose and headed to the feast hall.

Standing at the doorway, Adora swallowed thickly seeing how many of their invited guests had already beaten her here. The usual tables that lined the great hall were either pushed up against the walls or nowhere in sight. Those food covered tables that remained were decorated with sheets of fine cloth and candles Adora wasn’t sure she’d even seen before in Castle Fright. Everyone within her line of sight was dressed in their best clothes. Some in their formal military uniforms, some in dresses, others in their finest doublets and overcoats to help ward off the chilly January evening. She continued to scan the crowd looking for one soldier in particular, and tsked when she couldn’t find her among the sea of faces.

“Adora!” Trilled the familiar voice of her mother, a hand coming to take hold of her elbow. “Wonderful timing my girl. I would like to introduce you to Prince Hazar.” She swept her hand towards a young noble dressed in oranges and blues, his dark hair brushed back flat against his head. Adora pursed her lips as she eyed him.

“Nice to meet you, your majesty,” she said politely with a curtsy. 

He didn’t even bother to bow, and extend a hand to her. “You’ll dance with me.” It wasn’t a request, but a demand.

Adora sucked in a slow breath through her nostrils before taking his hand and following him to the center of the room that had been cleared for dancing. He was insufferable. He was entitled, and he spoke of nothing but himself. It certainly was an exercise in patience. She had never learned to hate someone so deeply so quickly. When another young man cut in an offer to dance, she thankfully accepted. Though it left her only with deep regret. This noble was self-possessed _and_ entitled. She’d known that her mother invited all of these other young men in hopes that she would choose a suitor. But this one was already talking as if they were engaged! Adora quietly ground her teeth before separating herself from him.

“No, my lord, I don’t think I will accept your proposal,” she muttered, and curtseying once the song finished. Her eyes flashed around the great hall again looking for the only one she actually wanted to dance with. Still, she couldn’t seem to find her. 

Catra, in that moment, didn’t particularly want to be found. She knew Commander Weaver would be watching her dance with these nobles and lordlings, so she stood back. An amused smile spread over her face as she watched Adora flounder with these presumptuous men, wishing more than anything to sweep her away, but knowing she had to be patient until Weaver was distracted. Her tail lazily lashed behind her as she took in the sight of her lover, letting out a contented sigh.

“I know that look,” said a deeper but bright voice.

The magicat blinked and glanced over towards where the voice had come from and smiled at the sight that greeted her. “Really Scorpia? And what look is that?”

“I know a lovestick expression when I see one, wildcat.”

She rolled her eyes at the nickname, crossing her arms over her chest as she watched the dancers, trying not to let her gaze linger too long on Adora now that she was being observed up close. “I haven’t the slightest clue what you’re talking about.”

Scorpia rested her claws at her hips as she looked back and forth between the dance floor and her friend. “Who is she?”

“I told you, I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Her tail lashing grew sharper at the questioning.

With pursed lips, the taller woman nodded. “Well. If there was someone special, and I’m not saying there is! But if. I’d say she’s lucky to have you.”

Catra paused at that, eyes lingering on Adora for a moment. “Why would you say that?”

“I remember what it was like when we served in Talon Company together. I remember how determined you were, how loyal and tenacious you were despite everything thrown at you. I can only imagine that level of care and devotion you would give the object of your affection.”

She smiled softly, seeing Adora be swept up by yet another lordling. “If there were someone, and I’m not admitting that there is,” she waited until Scorpia nodded her agreement, “I just. I want to do right by her.” She let out a deep breath. “I’m. I’m not sure that I can give her everything she deserves.”

Scorpia considered that for a moment. “Well. I think that if she knows you… she knows that you want to. And I know if it were me, that would be enough. You know?”

Catra chuckled as she shook her head. “Thanks Scorpia.”

“Anytime wildcat.”

~

Time dragged as the evening wore on. Whenever Adora’s eyes passed a black formal military officers’ uniform accented with reds, she quickly dismissed them once she noted it was not in fact Catra. Twice more did pompous young men accost her in between her searching for her lover among the crowd. Then she was preyed upon by another suitor. And another. This was getting exhausting. When yet _another_ asked for a dance, she politely but firmly declined, insisting that she needed to sit for a moment. 

Unfortunately, he didn’t get the hint and decided he would sit with her as he droned on and on about… Adora wasn’t even paying attention anymore. All she could think of was how she was going to kill her knight for leaving her alone all evening.

“My lady,” came a familiar raspy voice. 

And just like that she took it all back. 

“Catra,” she grinned up before her mouth fell open at the sight of her. The magicat had lied before. She was absolutely not wearing a military uniform. Catra’s hair was up in a ponytail as always, but she wore a deep burgundy brocade doublet with fine golden buttons that was tailor made to fit every dip and curve of her torso, her red silk shirt’s sleeves were rolled up to the elbow, and a black and golden trimmed half cape draped over her left shoulder. She wore her finest knight’s chain, her white belt reserved for formal occasions and… were those knee-high riding boots new? “I…”

“Lady Adora, would you honor me with a dance?” She asked with a slightly bowed head and an extended fingerless gloved hand.

Ignoring the sputtering lordling beside her, she wordlessly accepted with a touch and allowed herself to be swept up off her feet and glided along the dance floor. “Catra…”

“I saw the look in your eye. You were about ready to murder that boy,” she cackled. “I thought I’d come to your rescue.”

Adora’s eyed trailed up and down her figure, her cheeks growing hotter all the time. “When did you-how… What happened to just wearing your military uniform?!”

With a fang toothed grin she replied, “What? And miss the opportunity to have you blush like that?” She purred.

She pursed her lips, averting her gaze in embarrassment. 

Catra chuckled, her hand sliding a bit lower on her hip. “Sorry it took so long. The cobbler was taking his damn sweet time with the final touches on my boots,” she grumbled.

“Why on earth did you buy new boots?” She shook her head. “You had a perfectly good set for your formal uniform.”

“Oh, so you don’t like them? I’m sure I could return them.”

“I didn’t say that,” Adora sputtered, somehow growing more flustered by the second.

Catra grinned, doing her best to keep her laughter to a minimum before her expression grew soft. “You look beautiful, princess,” she nearly whispered. “Those nobles don’t deserve you.”

She melted into her arms at the words, not paying any mind to the stares. She easily ignored the throngs of people, having grown used to tuning them out all her life. All that mattered was the woman in her arms. The beautiful charming young woman… “So are you,” she said before pulling back to meet her gemstone eyes. She grinned noting the color in her cheeks as well. “Sir Catra… are you blushing?”

The magicats ears twitched despite her attempts to not give away her own excited jitters. “I don’t have the slightest idea what you’re talking about.”

Adora tsked with a smug expression. “Tsk, I can’t believe you like me. That must be so embarrassing for you,” she teased easily, pleased to finally get the upperhand in conversation. 

Catra huffed before she got a wicked grin on her face, determined to wrest that upperhand back. Smoothly, and without any warning at all, she turned her out and then dipped her dance partner low. She was pleased when Adora tightly gripped at her shoulders, feeling her skirted knee brush up against her inner thigh. “Please, I don’t like you,” she grinned and waited a beat before righting her again. 

The blonde sucked in a deep breath at their closeness in such a public setting, her cheeks nearly matching the red of her dress. “Catra,” she murmured before she was righted. 

She only chuckled, holding her close as they twirled about the dance floor. “So I have a proposition for you,” she said, artfully redirecting the conversation.

“Oh? And what might that be?”

“I assume you’ve had more than your fill of pompous lordlings. So I propose that once you’ve been promoted, we just… slip away.”

Adora felt her heart flutter at the suggestion and nodded. “I’d like that very much,” she murmured. She leaned in as if to kiss her, but remembered herself and pulled back.

Catra smiled studying those beautiful ocean blue eyes, almost laughing at the withheld gesture. “I’d like to kiss you too,” she said consolingly. “But later. I promise,” she purred with a sultry undertone.

Before she could respond, the music ended and there was a round of applause before Commander Weaver stood before the dais where she held ceremonies and gave announcements. She droned on for a bit, singing her daughter’s praises before calling her forward. Catra reluctantly separated herself from her liege and took her hand, planting a gentle chaste kiss on her knuckles. It was the only socially acceptable manner in which she could touch her skin with her lips in public. “Go on princess,” she said encouragingly with a squeeze of her hand before releasing her.

The promotion ceremony went by in somewhat of a blur for Adora, almost feeling as if she was witnessing the events from outside herself. Words were spoken, oaths were made, a medallion of rank bestowed, and she turned to face thunderous applause. It was… uncomfortable for her to be the center of attention this way. It was one thing if she was vaguely aware of stares coming at her while she went about her business. It was another thing entirely to be paraded about with all eyes on her. She searched the crowd for a burgundy doublet and pointed ears, finally feeling herself relax when she found who she was looking for. She even managed to smile.

The magicat returned it with a wide fanged grin. She maintained eye contact as she wandered to a table laden with food and drink before swiping a couple bottles of wine. With a wink and a jerk of her head towards the corridor, she began to saunter out of the great hall and towards the tallest battlement in the Keep.

Adora brightened, making her excuses and thanks to her mother before rejoining the crowd. Then inconspicuously, she too slipped out into the hall to follow after Catra. She glanced around once she was out of sight of the party goers and there she was leaning against a far wall. Catra grinned before the pair of them made their way up the long spiraling starway that led to the tallest point of the castle. Thankfully, due to the festivities, the standing guard had been lessened and they have the space to themselves. 

After she set the bottles aside, Catra pulled Adora into a strong kiss, hands resting at the small of her back. 

Adora leaned in, her arms coming around her waist holding her close, her fingers tracing up her strong shoulders. “Hi,” she murmured against her lips.

“Hey Adora,” she chuckled before resting their foreheads together and resting in the moment for a heartbeat or two. “Ready to put the day behind you?”

“Gods yes,” she sighed, massaging her temple. “Wine?”

Catra nodded before the pair settled to rest against the crenulation sipping at their own respective bottles as they talked. Adora going on at great length at how terrible those nobles were that she was forced to dance with as her sobriety slowly slipped away from her, Catra contentedly listening all the while asking the occasional question between her own sips. She slowly felt the tightness in her shoulders start to relax. She didn’t remember exactly when Adora crawled into her lap, but she was more than alright with it. She chuckled, combing her fingers through Adora’s golden hair. “You’ve got to be the happiest drunk I’ve ever met,” she said with a smile.

“Pfft, I’m not drunk,” she slurred in retort. “I’ve barely had any wine!”

“Adora, your bottle’s empty.”

She squinted at her before turning her critical gaze to the bottle in her hand noting that she was in fact correct. “Damn,” she sighed. “Oh well…” The stupidest, widest grin spread on her face before she stood and tossed the bottle as hard and far as she could over the side of the wall.

“Adora!” She laughed climbing to her feet to see how far she managed to toss it, squinting as she followed its descent. “Alright… that was pretty damn impressive.” 

Adora threw her head back in a guffaw, unable to control intermittent snorting. “Yeah, lifting boulders all day doesn’t hurt,” she grinned shamelessly flexing her bicep. She burst into another giggle fit before falling against her knight’s shoulder, burying her face into her hair. “Do you like it?” She purred.

She was met with an arched eyebrow, arm snaking around her waist. “Like… what?”

“My muscles!” She grinned.

Catra felt her cheeks coloring again, and not for the last time that night. “I like everything about you, princess.”

The blonde scoffed with a shake of her head. “Nooo I’m supposed to say that about you!” She insisted obstinately.

“Two things can be true,” she offered before pressing her lips to her forehead.

She harumphed with a rather adorable pout. “Just. I just. I love you. Alright?”

Catra couldn’t help her squeaking laugh that spilled from her lips. Perhaps she was less sober than she thought herself. “I know Adora. And I love you too.”

“Nooo,” she whined, turning to take hold of Catra to face her, pressing her hands to her cheeks. “Catraaa… I just. I love you so much. And I want to be with you always, ok? The days where I wake up and you aren’t there? That day is just no good.” She sniffed, starting to feel herself tearing up. “You’re the only one that makes me feel like I’m good enough. You never want anything from me except just me. You make me so happy. I just… I want to be with you all the time. You make me just…” She shook her head, not able to find the words before falling forward into her embrace. “I love you… so much. You’re so strong and brave and perfect.”

The magicat felt herself start to tremble under the mountain of praise, her skin feeling charged like a live wire, heart threatening to burst from her chest. She swallowed thickly, feeling more than a little overwhelmed as tears pricked at her eyes. She let out a shaking breath before wrapping her arms around her lover. “I’m far from perfect,” she replied quietly.

“But you are… I know how people treat you. They treat you like you don’t matter.” She shook her head, suddenly both profoundly sad and visceral angry at the same time. “But you matter to me. Alright? I want you. Just you. As you are.”

Catra closed her eyes tightly feeling the tears resting there finally stream down her cheeks as she hugged her tightly. “Really?” She asked weakly, her voice thick with emotion.

Adora nodded, pulling back to meet her gaze. “Just you and me at the end of the world.”

The young knight inhaled deeply, smiling softly at her. “If that’s what you really want… then it’s yours, princess.”

The blonde grinned, all other emotion pushed aside from joy and love. “Really?” The question was high-pitched and excited.

Catra chuckled, pulling her into a soft kiss. Just like that, all of her fears and anxieties seemed to melt away. Adora wanted her just as much as she wanted Adora. She’d known for so long that this was it for her, but now having heard her love say so, even if there was more than a little wine involved. She was determined to give her everything.

“Of course dummy.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, this is a princess prom chapter. I am not ashamed.
> 
> Next chapter is the last of the pure fluff. 
> 
> Hope you all enjoy it! Kudos and comments are life-giving <3
> 
> Here's my [twitter](https://twitter.com/xtitan_1) and my [tumblr](https://scorchflamedancer.tumblr.com/). Hit me up if you like. I love talking to people about this fic, Catradora, or just spop in general.


	8. At Dawn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I’ve loved you for most of my life… and I’d like to continue doing so for the rest of it. That is… if you’ll have me… Marry me, Adora?”

Catra sat perched at the edge of Adora’s balcony rail, studying the dark sky for a moment before cracking a wide smile. Her pulse thundered in her ears, her heart threatening to beat itself free of her ribcage. Gods, why was she so nervous? She shook her head before hopping down to the balcony itself, quietly creeping into the room. She stood at the door frame for a moment watching the steady rise and fall of Adora’s breathing as she slept sprawled out over the whole surface of the large bed. Catra held a fist to her mouth to try and contain a giddy laugh. How could she be _that_ cute? It truly was unfair.

She crept over to the bed, taking hold of the headboard to lean over and press a gentle kiss to her forehead. “Adora,” she whispered.

The blonde woman hummed in her sleep, a smile spreading over her lips. Catra’s kiss always had this effect on her, even in sleep. Even still, she didn’t stir beyond that.

With a tsk, Catra straightened, her tail coming up to tickle the tip of her nose. “Adoooooraaaa…” Rather than a hum, Adora groaned, waving her tail away as if a fly were bothering her. She couldn’t keep back the snickers this time. If she wanted to be impossible, two could play at that game. “Alright, I tried to do this sweetly,” she said with a shrug of regret. Then with a leap, she landed directly onto her lover, reaching up to pin her wrists to the bed to keep her from flailing at her in reaction. She knew about her pillow knife.

“Ah! Catra!” Adora shouted glaring up at her, her blonde hair fanned out around her head. She huffed, trying to wiggle her hands-free. “Wwwwhy?” She whined.

“I tried to wake you up softly,” she insisted, relaxing to sit back on her heels still pinning her down at the hips, but releasing her wrists. “I swear, trying to wake you up has always been like waking the dead.”

She rolled her eyes and glanced outside and it renewed her glare anew. “The sun isn’t even up! Catra, what’s going on?” She grumbled.

With a soft low chuckle, she leaned in to press loving kissing along her forehead, cheeks, jawline, and a final one to the tip of her nose. “Come on. I need to show you something.”

“Show me what?” Her response had significantly less acerbity after being placated with kisses. “Can’t we just stay in bed?” She grinned tracing her hands up her lover’s thighs.

Catra shook her head, the smile never leaving her face. “Not a chance princess. But.” She leaned in for a final deep kiss. “I promise,” she crooned, pressing their foreheads together, “Once we’re done, we can come back here and not leave for the rest of the day if you want.” Then she hopped off the bed, placing a hand on her hip as she stood.

Adora’s grin seemed to widen at that. “Alright. We do whatever this insanity is, leaving a perfectly good bed before dawn, and then we come back and lock ourselves in for the day.” She smiled at the clawed hand offered to help her up and let herself be hauled up to her feet.

“Deal,” she agreed with an unmistakable softness. 

It didn’t take long for Adora to pull on her favorite pair of grey riding pants and a red jerkin over the long-sleeved linen tunic she was already wearing. Catra tugged on her wrist pulling her out of the room, knowing that the guard change was happening now so no one would see them leaving the room. If they were seen in the corridors from here, it wouldn’t be much trouble. Castle staff had long since grown used to the Lady Adora wandering about with her sworn knight at her side, even if their closeness did catch them the odd look or comment. It was wise to keep gossip of nobility out of their hearing.

The couple came to a horse already saddled and ready for the pair of them, Catra easily pulling herself up into her seat and offering Adora a hand to help her. With a chuckle, she took the help climbing up to sit behind Catra. She rested her chin on her shoulder, leaning her head against her’s, arms coming around her waist in a relaxed embrace. 

“Comfortable, princess?” She asked, clicking her tongue to start the horse in a walk, heading in the opposite direction from where they usually would ride.

Adora closed her eyes and nodded. “Mmhmm.” She smiled widely feeling a hand reach up to lace their fingers together.

“Be careful if you start dozing. It wouldn’t do for you to fall off and get brain damage,” she smirked.

Playfully, Adora dug her teeth into her shoulder, inciting peeling laughter.

The young women carried on in quiet conversation as they rode on, the subject mostly revolving around where they were going in the dead of night and why. The question was always deflected with a casual and long-suffering, “You’ll see.”

It wasn’t very long before they found themselves at a cliff’s edge that overlooked a sweeping vista surrounded by mountains to both the right and the left. The whole of the scene, however, was still shrouded in darkness. The couple slipped off the horse and Catra took her hand, walking towards the edge and stared out at the valley before them with a fond smile. Adora just arched a skeptical eyebrow at her. 

“Catra… what are we doing out here?”

“Just be patient, princess.” 

She rolled her eyes before lowering herself to sit on the ground, tugging Catra with her. “Well if we’re just waiting for _something_ , I’m going to close my eyes for a minute.” She grumbled before falling backward on the grass.

Catra cackled, shaking her head. “You wouldn’t last a week on deployment,” she teased, flicking her nose with her tail. But then she reached up and began to gently massage her scalp with the tips of her fingers, careful to retract her claws. A pleasant warmth bloomed in her chest at the way Adora’s head lulled to the side and the goofy smile that spread over her face. 

“That feels nice,” she murmured.

“I know,” she crooned. There was a pause before she continued. “In fact. There’s very little I don’t know about you,” she mused.

“Hm. I suppose that’s true. When you’ve known a person since childhood, I guess that tends to happen.”

The magicat continued to smile as she studied her love. “You’ve known Lonnie since childhood,” she retorted. 

“Yes, but I’m not in love with Lonnie.”

“Ah, so I’m special,” she grinned, laughing when Adora smacked her.

“Of course you are.”

She continued to work her fingers through her hair. “How special?”

“You brought me all the way out here before the sunrise just to pester me about how much I like you?” She shook her head. “Why do I put up with you?”

“Because I’m an excellent lay,” she teased.

“Catra!” Adora’s eyes widened to look up at her to watch her knight openly laughing at her as her cheeks grew a deep crimson color. It didn’t take much for her to join in and move to sit up, leaning against her shoulder. There was silence for a minute before her blush grew deeper, burying her face in her shoulder. “I mean. It doesn’t hurt.”

Catra just grinned, wrapping an arm around her waist, watching the horizon intently all the while. 

“Don’t let it go to your head.”

“I said nothing.”

Adora just shook her head, forehead still pressed to her shoulder. The silence stretched once more before a pair of lips pressed to the top of her head.

“Are you happy, Adora?” The question came softly, with no small amount of insecurity. “With me?”

Blue eyes blinked up to meet heterochromatic ones. “Of course I am,” she whispered fiercely. 

She smiled widely as the light of dawn started to peek over the horizon beginning to color the valley in vibrant yellows and pinks. Catra turned to look out over the cliff's edge and tugged at her hand. “Come look,” she prompted, helping her to her feet.

“Wow,” Adora gasped at the rolling fields of grass, the rushing river pooling into a crystal clear lake, the almost ethereal glow that covered the landscape like a cloak. “Catra… this is… it’s beautiful… I’ve never seen anything like this.”

She squeezed her hand looking at her. “You know… when a captain retires… they’re given land rights.”

Adora grinned widely. “Oh? And you intend to take this parcel for yourself?”

“Perhaps. But it all depends on how this next part goes.” 

She would’ve felt her knight shift beside her before she turned her head to ask what she meant. She froze staring down at her from her place on the ground. “Catra…” She whispered, squeezing the hand she still held.

“Adora,” she began shakily, pressing kisses to her knuckles. “I love you so much,” she began, feeling her throat growing tight, her emotions seeming to nearly choke her. “I don’t know what the future holds for us… but I know that I want you in it. I know that this might just be a foolish dream, but I want to build a home, have a family, here on this land with you.” She sucked in a deep breath through her nose trying to steady herself but was unable to keep the moisture from her eyes. “I’ve loved you for most of my life… and I’d like to continue doing so for the rest of it. That is… if you’ll have me…” She produced a simple ring of bronze. It had no stone to speak of, no etching of any kind, but it shone brightly in the light of dawn. “Marry me, Adora?”

Adore sucked in a breath, tears already streaming her cheeks and her words left her entirely. Everything she loved about the woman before her came bubbling up, spreading through her like drinking hot tea on a cold evening. The warmth felt like it was too much to bear, her chest aching with how full it was there in that moment. She couldn’t utter a single syllable, but she knew her love was waiting for an answer. So she did all she could, which was to nod emphatically and fall to her knees before her, throwing her arms around her in a tight embrace. Her shoulders shook with quiet sobs as she held her face in her hands and peppered every inch of it with kisses.

Catra let out her own sobbing laughter, guiding her into a proper kiss, finally letting her own tears fall. “I love you,” she whispered, pressing their foreheads together.

“I love you too,” she replied, finally scrapping the words together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> <3
> 
> Super short this time. But sweet. I hope you like it.
> 
> Comments and kudos are life-giving
> 
> Here's my [twitter](https://twitter.com/xtitan_1) and my [tumblr](https://scorchflamedancer.tumblr.com/). Hit me up if you like. I love talking to people about this fic, Catradora, or just spop in general.


	9. A Legend's Beginning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Hush,” Catra said in a low growl, their foreheads touching. “I refuse to hear of it. I’m sworn to you. _Bound_ to you. If you cannot stay, then neither can I. Who would I be if I just abandoned the woman I love? What would that make me?
> 
> “But-” Adora blinked, meeting her hard amber and sapphire eyes. 
> 
> “Do you love me?” There was a hard certainty in the question.
> 
> “Yes…”
> 
> “Do you withdraw your consent to marry me?”
> 
> “What? No!”
> 
> “Do you want that life with me? The home we wish to build together? The one we always dreamed of…” She traced her hands down Adora’s arms to take her hands, leaving chills behind in their wake.
> 
> “Yes,” she whispered.
> 
> “Then I’m coming with you. And no army, no oath, no gods can or will keep me from you.” Catra smiled softly, her gemstone eyes softening to that of a calm ocean and liquid sun. “I am yours… and you are mine. And nothing will ever keep us apart.”
> 
> Adora finally felt like she could breathe, tears of relief pricking her eyes before pulling her into another slow kiss. “Then we’ll leave tonight,” she whispered against her lips.

They were engaged. Adora couldn’t believe it. Catra proposed! Catra wanted a life with her. Everything about the world around her suddenly seemed to change. Every breath was a sweet kiss, every sound a beautiful line of music. The movement of everyone and everything was like poetry in motion, even in something as mundane as pouring water into a cup. She had never felt so free. Where life before had a level of monotony to it, she felt like every moment was a part of a grand dance she was able to move through with just… joy. Love had taken hold of her and broken her open in the sweetest way, finding meaning where there had been so little, finding color and light where only dim monochrome had been. And it was all because of Catra. 

While she couldn’t wear her ring as she would’ve liked in public places, she always wore it on her right ring finger. She often caught herself just grinning widely down at it. It didn’t matter to her that it was so simple, she loved it. She loved her fiancee. This simple circle of bronze meant that she was loved, that she was wanted, that she was enough. It didn’t sit right with her that Catra didn’t have a similar token she could stare at and find security in. She was determined to return the favor.

So one afternoon when they had made it back to their spot sitting beneath their tree, Adora pulled Catra into her side, pressing a kiss to her temple. “Do me a favor?” She murmured.

“Anything,” she answered easily, closing her eyes and leaning into her embrace.

“Marry me?”

Catra snorted pulling back to look at her. “I’m sorry, but I asked you first.” She was met with a wide smug grin before Adora brought a silver band into view. 

“Perhaps. But it isn’t official until you wear my ring as well. Right?”

The magicat melted at the sight, taking her face in her hands and pulling her into a deep kiss. “Of course I’ll marry you, dummy,” she chuckled, allowing Adora to slip the ring on her.

~

It became more difficult to keep their hands off each other in public. It became more difficult to be apart at all, especially once spring had come in full force. They had been able to skirt their responsibilities in Castle Fright at least a bit while the days were so short and so cold. But now their nights together had to be more carefully considered in their frequency, their stolen moments more guarded, and all the while doing their best to keep a professional front while Commander Weaver or any of her most loyal aides were insight.

Even despite their infrequency, they took those nights to themselves, always letting it drag out until morning. 

Adora groaned when the sun streamed in through the window hitting her face. She blinked against the offending light before turning into the soft fur of her fiancee and burying her face into her shoulder, ready to settle back into sleep. She was, however, thwarted by a raspy chuckle. 

“No, no you don’t princess,” Catra laughed, massaging her scalp. “You know we have to get ready for the day.”

“I apologize, I can’t hear you,” she murmured into her clavicle, arms wrapping tightly around her waist. “I’m asleep.” 

Catra rolled her eyes, pressing kisses along her temple and forehead. “Come on you. We get to spend the next week together without Weaver breathing down our necks. We were looking forward to that, remember?”

Adora groaned before turning her head to catch her lips in a proper kiss. “Yes, but the only reason we’re going to Darkspur Castle is for me to meet their snotty little lordling to see if he’s _‘marriage material’_ ,” she gagged before dropping back into the pillows.

“Yes, and then you were going to feign offense and we were going to leave and never have to see him again,” she recounted the plan hopping out of bed and taking hold of the covers. With a firm yank, all of the blankets flew off the mattress leaving Adora in nothing but one of Catra’s oversized tunics she’d started wearing to bed.

“You’re so mean Catra,” she grumbled.

“I love you too,” the magicat said, a little too sickly sweet, her ever-present smirk on her face as she pulled on her clothes. “Now come on. We need to get ready for the day’s ride and I still need to get my armor on.” She leaned over the bed to close the space between them and nuzzled their noses together.

With a sleepy smile Adora leaning in to give her a proper kiss. “I’ll meet you at the stables then,” she said softly, eyes and voice both full of affection.

“I’ll see you there,” she said with a wink before pulling away to grab her boots and head towards the window to sneak back to her barracks room.

~~~

Adora sighed heavily relaxing in her saddle, glancing around at the full escort her mother had insisted on coming with her and Catra. She’d tried to insist to her mother that the protection of her knight was more than enough for the journey, but Commander Weaver wouldn't hear of it. So here they were riding with Rogelio in front, Lonnie and Kyle behind, and Catra at her left. Their trip to the Hinderlands had been largely uneventful aside from the perfunctory pomp and circumstance that often followed her wherever she went. Additionally, her and Catra had to be a bit more careful than usual. Not only to keep their secret from their friends, but also from any and all that were loyal to Lord Darkspur. Just as they had planned, and even better than they’d hoped, the young lordling had actually said something genuinely insulting and offensive. Adora didn’t even have to fake her indignation, and they left even sooner than they had originally designed. 

So here they were, riding in relative silence as they made their way along the worn path back to Castle Fright. Until Catra called for a halt.

Adora frowned at her, seeing her cat’s ears twitch as she listened intently. “What is it?” She whispered in question.

“I don’t know,” she replied, still straining to listen. She slowly shook her head. “It sounds like a handful of riders. I don’t want to risk them being unfriendly.” She pulled her horse’s reins to veer off the path and into the woods. “Let’s take the long way around at least for a time. We’ll head back to the path after we’re sure they’re gone.” The small squad nodded and directed their horses as ordered, Adora doing the same as they disappeared into the forest.

It was nice riding through here, the canopy of trees shading them from the hot sun, the rolling grasses leaving little dust to be kicked up as they rode. Adora let out a contented breath. “This is actually much better,” she murmured. 

“You don’t say,” drawled the magicat, a little too casually.

Adora looked over at Catra who was just smirking and she blinked at her. “W-wha…” She frowned, nudging her horse even closer to her knight. “Was there even anyone on the road?” She whispered so low that only her magicat ears could pick it up. 

Catra blinked with feigned innocence, a hand to her armored chest in mock indignation. “What? I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

At that, Adora grinned and nudged her with an elbow laughing softly. “You knew I’d enjoy the ride better like this.” 

She snorted in reply. “That doesn’t mean anything.”

“Aw, you like me! Admit it,” she teased lightly shoving her again, but not enough that Catra would lose her seat.

Catra scoffed at that, shoving her back. “I do not like you,” she protested with a wide toothy grin. The pair laughed as they continued their light playful roughhousing and banter from horseback. Until Rogelio let out a low growl in front of them. The pair immediately grew more serious. “What is it, cadet?” Catra called to him, her ears laying back. 

Adora squinted looking ahead of them and blinked. “Something’s… glowing…” At the realization, she felt a gravitational pull towards its source and lightly kicked her mare forward. 

“Shouldn’t we maybe avoid the strange glowing magic in the middle of the woods?” Lonnie called from the rear. 

“It could be some sort of attack or ambush or something,” Kyle insisted with no small amount of anxiety in his voice.

Catra turned to the pair of them. “Scout ahead and make sure we aren’t being ambushed.” She watched them as they trotted forward to follow her orders and sighed, moving to being riding right beside Adora, their legs almost touching. “Shit,” she muttered, massaging her temple. “If we run into trouble-”

“We’ll handle it together,” Adora answered, reaching over to put a hand on her shoulder. “Besides… something’s telling me that this isn’t an ambush. It feels…” her nose twitched as she searched for words. “It feels benevolent?”

The knight arched an eyebrow at her with a shrug. “I suppose if any of us are going to have any magical sense, it would be you.”

Adora nodded towards the glow. “Come on, let’s go and see what it is.”

The three remaining riders hurried towards it, Catra and Rogelio still eyeing the surrounding forest for any signs of attackers, but Adora was just fixated on getting to the… that _thing_. It was calling to her. She could almost hear it singing her name. But that didn’t make any sense.

As soon as they came into a clearing, the glow ceased. In the center of the clearing was a sword planted firmly in a boulder, vines growing up to the hilt, the teal gem at the crossguard’s center seeming to almost vibrate with power. Adora froze as she stared at it. “What…”

Catra dismounted coming close to the blade and studying it curiously. “How odd,” she murmured. She unsheathed her claws and raked down the mess of vines that grew around the large rock and the blade. She noted the inscription etched into the stone face and arched an eyebrow at it. “Huh…”

Lonnie and Kyle rejoined them in the clearing and likewise dismounted walking towards their captain. “What does it say?”

“It says… ‘Only the Just. Only the Noble. Only the Kind. The Blade of She-Ra’.” Catra sat up straight looking at the old rusty blade. The only thing about it that seemed in decent shape was the odd gemstone at its center. “Well I guess this is where all those old legends come from,” she murmured tracing a clawed finger along the crossguard. “Hm.” She grinned before moving forward, gripping at the handle and giving it a firm pull. She grunted, adding a second hand to put a little more effort into it. 

The cadets whooped their encouragement, urging her on to pull the sword free. Finally giving up, she offered for the other’s to try their hand as Catra wandered back to her horse where Adora still sat mounted just watching. The knight arched an eyebrow glancing up at her love. “You alright Adora?”

“Hm?” She tilted her head towards Catra, eyes still locked on the blade before finally breaking her gaze to look down at her. “Oh. Yes. I’m fine. Just…” She looked back towards the sword, feeling like her heart was about to burst from her chest. “I don’t know… something odd about it…”

“Well. It appears to be an ancient sword with a cryptic inscription invoking an ancient legend that’s lodged in a rock,” she chuckled. “Everything about it is odd.”

“I suppose you’re right…” But still. She felt compelled to reach out and touch it, but that urge frightened her. She couldn’t explain why. All of her friends weren’t just touching it, but trying to free it from its stoney prison. It wasn’t as if it was unsafe.

Once all the cadets had their fun, they mounted and started back towards the road, Catra claiming that the people she had ‘heard’ were now gone and they could continue on their way as scheduled. “We should reach Castle Fright before the sun goes down,” she announced. “So let’s get Lady Adora home.” She smiled at the blonde before they all kicked their horses forward.

~~

Tonight, Catra wasn’t going to be able to join Adora in her room. They couldn’t be together every night for their own safety, which they both found vexing but necessary. Though it was especially vexing tonight. Adora felt like she had been staring at the ceiling for hours without being able to find a second’s rest. 

Finally, with a frustrated grunt, she got to her feet. She pulled on a pair of riding trousers and boots, and then her red leather jerkin over Catra’s long white tunic she always wore to bed. With a sigh, she left her room to roam the grounds of the keep. Maybe she could tire herself out and then finally get some sleep. 

With hands folded behind her back, she made her way outside and wandered the gardens her mother diligently kept. She thought it was the oddest hobby for a hardened war commander to keep, gardening. Adora shook her head as she passed a patch of daisies and made her way towards the far clearing that she had often played in as a little girl and went to sit on the nearby bench to look out at the plants, letting her mind wander.

_Adora._

She sat up straight and looked around, trying to find the source of the voice. “Hello?” She called out. “Who’s out there?”

Silence.

She got to her feet and raised her fists as if she were about to fight. “Show yourself, or I’ll call the guards!” Nevermind she might call them anyway. But still.

_Adora._

The young woman turned slowly, eyes taking in every bit of the garden she could as she moved, paying extra attention to the shadows. What was going on? When she completed her turn to face forward towards the small open patch of grass again, she gasped, stumbling backward at what she saw.

A white stallion seemed to appear out of nowhere, his mane and tail rich fiery oranges and reds, his… his _wings_ bright with colorful plumage ranging from yellows to blues to pinks, a horn protruding from beneath his forelock like a crown. This… this had to be a dream. That’s it. She was dreaming. Beasts such as this didn’t exist. Not on this side of the Whispering Woods. 

The stallion huffed trotting over to her, nuzzling her cheek. Adora continued to stare with wide eyes, her mouth hanging open. “Ok… so you’re real…” She absently brought her hand up to stroke his velvety nose, swallowing thickly. “So what now.” As if to answer her, he lightly bit her sleeve and pulled her around to his side. He bobbed his head as if instructing her to mount. 

“You… want me to get on?”

The horse nickered, his blue eyes meeting her own with a seriousness and intelligence she couldn’t deny. 

Adora swallowed thickly before carefully climbing on. “Alright then,” she murmured. The moment she found her seat, the horse beat his wings and climbed into the air. Adora leaned forward, throwing her arms around his neck as she let out a startled shout. She buried her face into his mane, pressing her lips together in a tight line to keep herself from screaming. The beast let out a high pitched whiny that Adora could’ve sworn was laughter at her expense. She would’ve just dismissed the thought as madness, but then again. A rainbow-colored flying horse was madness in and of itself. “Where… where are you taking me?” She asked, panic starting to mount in her chest. This was so stupid. Trusting a flying horse! What if it was trained to serve the enemy?! What if she was in danger? Why did she mount just because a horse seemed to ask her to? 

The stallion turned his head slightly to meet her gaze and huffed, her anxiety slowly soothing itself out. Somehow in that moment, she knew he wasn’t going to hurt her. Knew that he never would. She nodded. “Alright… take me to wherever it is I need to be.” He bobbed his head in what seemed to be a nod before he flapped his wings even harder taking her back to that clearing where she and her friends had left that sword. Upon landing, he knelt beside it for Adora to dismount. It was clear what he was asking of her and she just stared for a moment, mesmerized by the gem that lay at the center of the crossguard.

Again, that feeling, that magnetic pull. “I… I don’t know…” She swallowed thickly. The sword seemed to sing to her, but something deep in her gut told her that if she did this… everything would change. Everything.

With a shaking breath, she looked to the stallion that watched her intently before looking back at the sword. She took a step forward before placing a hand on the pommel. The instant she made contact with it, a blinding blue light filled the clearing and she suddenly wasn’t there anymore. Instead, she found herself in an opulent chamber that seemed to pulse with magical light and energy. “W-what?” She stumbled backward trying to take in her surroundings. 

Suddenly, there was an ethereal figure standing before her, it’s voice taking on a quality she’d never heard any living being have in her life.

_“Hello Adora.”_

She took a few steps backward, fear creeping into her voice. “Who are you? What’s going on?!” She demanded.

_“My name is Light Hope. I am the goddess of the world you now roam. I have been waiting your whole life for you to find me, but we could not speak until you forged your connection to the sword.”_

“You… you made the sword?”

The sword appeared then in the chamber, hovering above the ground before Adora. _“I forged the sword at the birth of Etheria, along with its twin blade.”_ The translucent image of a nearly identical sword appeared beside it. _“Etheria needs you, Adora.”_

She looked up into the eyes of the goddess and swallowed thickly.

_“Will you answer the call? Will you fight for the honor of Grayskull?”_

“W-what are you talking about?! Grayskull?! Grayskull is my enemy! How could I fight for them? You’re not making any sense!”

The goddess looked kindly on her before she answered. _“You will.”_

Suddenly, Adora was pulled from the strange chamber and tossed back into the clearing. She groaned from her place on the ground, reaching up to rub her sore forehead. “What…” She slowly moved to sit up, seeing a glowing sword in her left hand. She gasped, releasing it to stare openly at the blade and then looking back towards the stone where it once sat. “I’m…” She looked back down at the sword, slowly shaking her head. “No… no, there’s no way.”

_Just take a breath, Adora. It’s alright. Everything is as it should be._

She jumped looking around, brandishing the sword. “Who’s there?!” She couldn’t take much more of this.

_I’m right here. My name is Swift Wind._

Adora turned to blink at the horse and her jaw dropped open. “The horse…?”

He let out a deep huff. _I’m not just a horse._

“You can talk?!”

_Yes. In a manner of speaking, I can talk._

“You can talk?!” She held the sides of her head as she stared widely at him with her jaw falling open. 

He met her with a frustrated expression. _Yes. I am in fact able to communicate with you, She-ra._

“She-ra,” she murmured, dropping her hands to stare at them. “I’m… I’m She-ra…” She picked up the sword she’d dropped and held it up in front of her, twisting it this way and that as she inspected it. All rust and decay of the metal was gone now. In fact, the runes that were etched along the blade seemed to glow as she held it. “How?”

_You and your twin were born to wield the Sword of Power and Protection._

She froze, staring at him as if he were insane. “I don’t have any brothers or sisters, much less a twin.” 

_That place I took you from. It isn’t your home. That woman that raised you is not your mother._

“What are you talking about?” Her stomach twisted at his words both for its implication and for… _everything_. The panic was starting to rise in her.

Swift Wind stood and took a few steps towards her, leaning forward. _Touch your head to mine._

Adora swallowed thickly, studying him for a moment. “Swift Wind… I… I’m…”

_I know you’re frightened… but I promise you, taking the sword was just your first step in this journey. I took that step with you. And I will be at your side for every step going forward. You won’t be alone. Alright?_

She swallowed again before she nodded, reaching forward to rest her forehead to his bowed head.

~  
_It was if she was seeing the world for the first time, looking through the eyes of the magic steed. The whole expanse of Etheria laid out before her from the skies. Everything beyond the border of the Whispering Woods was so… bright, so colorful. How was it even possible for lands to be so beautiful? She gasped when she realized that some of these lands were territories now held by the Horde. And she knew first hand they didn’t look this beautiful anymore. Over the images, Adora heard Swift Wind explaining._

_“This is how the world was before the Horde began its war on the rest of Etheria. I don’t know what you’ve been taught growing up among them, but you need to know their true goals.”_

_The bright expanses suddenly became dull, smoke filling the air, building crumbling, screaming, crying, so much pain…_

_“They want nothing less than total domination. Hordak has vowed to rule the whole planet and kill or destroy anyone or anything that stands in his way.”_

_She recoiled witnessing some of the atrocities Hordak committed, and some he ordered others to commit on his behalf. So much needless violence, so much death… Her throat grew tight as she sucked in heavy breaths._

_“You already know the legends of She-ra? And He-man?”_

_“Yes,” she answered, the images of two tall muscular figures of a man and woman came into view standing back to back, each holding a blade that was nearly identical to the other._

_“These two protectors of Etheria are always born near one another. In your case, twins.”_

_She saw a man on a throne, thick brown hair coming down to his shoulders as he stared out at a court of people, a glistening crown on his head. A lovely redheaded woman at his side had a crown just as fine as his, if not more feminine. They held hands, the woman’s free hand resting on a very pregnant belly. Adora felt dread growing in her, but also a strange sense of recognition and hope._

_“King Randor and Queen Marlena rule the kingdom of Eternia, residing in Castle Grayskull.”_

_The vision shifted to show the royal couple sitting in a large bed, each holding a newborn baby with blonde wisps of hair._

_“They gave birth to the twins that would be She-ra and He-man.”_

_Adora felt herself starting to cry as she watched the tiny babies being held and kissed and laid down to sleep so tenderly._

_“And somehow, Hordak knew and he sent Shadow Weaver to take the both of you away.”_

_Her heart sank as she watched an unscarred Commander Weaver slither her way into the room in a vaporous cloud, appearing at the crib side and scooping up the baby Adora. As she went on to the next to take the other baby, the door to the nursery crashed open and Weaver threw something on the floor that exploded in a plume of smoke, disappearing from the room along with the baby._

_“You were taken to Castle Fright where she raised you as her daughter in hopes that you would either serve the Horde as She-ra when it came time for you to find the sword or that she would keep you hidden so you could never fulfill your destiny.”_

_“Stop,” she begged him with a sob. “No more…”_

_“As you wish…”_

~

Adora gasped stumbling back from the white stallion, staring up at him with tears pooling in her eyes. “What… what do I do…” she whispered.

_That’s up to you._

She swallowed thickly looking around as if somewhere in the clearing she’d find her answers. Catra. She needed… she needed Catra. She took up the sword and stared at it, ignoring her own reflection in the shine of the blade. Adora looked up and saw a sheath tailor-made for this specific sword already affixed to Swift Wind’s saddle. She replaced it in the leather scabbard and let out a deep breath. “Take me back,” she said before climbing up onto his back.

_As you wish, She-ra._

~~

They only just returned as the sun began to rise, and she directed him to the stables where all the other horses were kept. “Get into the back stall,” she ordered him. The last handful of rows were always empty anyway. No one would notice him while she figured out what she was going to do next. The stallion huffed indignantly before moving to obey. “I’ll be back for you,” she promised before hurrying out and back towards the keep.

Adora knew that she needed Catra, and she needed her now. But she also knew she couldn’t risk going into the barracks and banging on her door. She chewed nervously on her lip before deciding that she would go back to her room and take a bath to try and steady her nerves. She would meet her in the dining hall and then slip away with her to talk. Satisfied with her plan, she went to do just that.

Once she was cleaned and changed, she went to open the door to her room. She screeched when greeted with the sight of her mother-no, her captor-almost falling backward.

“Adora,” crooned the old Commander reaching forward to caress her cheek. The young woman felt her heart threatening to burst out of her chest as she attempted to maintain control over her anxiety. “I’m so glad I caught you. I was hoping I could convince you to dress a little more…” She eyed her ward’s pants and tunic, “formally… and come to join me and a few others for a diplomatic breakfast in private.”

Adora swallowed thickly glancing behind her. “Um.” She had no reason to refuse. Well. No reason that wouldn’t draw suspicion at least. “Of course mother,” she said quietly, hoping the low volume would keep the panic out of her voice. “Just give me a moment to change and I’ll hurry along to join you.” She gave a tight smile, hoping, praying that she didn’t give herself away. Thankfully, Weaver nodded with a few parting words and made her way to her study where they would be holding the breakfast.

The meal went on forever. And it wasn’t only just Adora’s nerves that thought so. She kept catching casual glances at the grandfather clock against the wall whenever it chimed, noting that this meeting had run well into midday. She felt as if she was about to jump out of her skin as the high general, grandmaster knight, and her mother all droned on and on and on. About what? She couldn’t rightly say. She was too busy trying to keep herself from panicking. Finally, when all others were dismissed, she hurried to her feet only to wince when her mother asked her to stay behind for a moment. 

_Shit, shit, shit, shit._

Adora gave her a tight polite smile and lowered herself back into her chair as she waited for the door to close behind the two visitors. “Yes, mother? Did you need more from me?”

“No,” she began slowly, folding her hands under her chin. “I just thought I would check in with you. You seemed… nervous all through the meeting. Is everything alright?”

She was terrible at this. Come on Adora, deep breath. Finding some scraps of calm she nodded. “Yes, I’m fine. I just didn’t sleep well last night. And you know how I get if I have to sit still too long.” She laughed softly at herself, realizing that she wasn’t even lying. “I haven’t had a chance to even do my morning run.”

That seemed to satisfy the Commander and she nodded. “Alright then. Off with you. I’ll see you at dinner.”

Reluctantly, Adora rose and gave her the usual perfunctory peck on the cheek before taking her leave of the study. The very second the door closed behind her, she hiked up the skirts of her dress and sprinted down the halls to leave the keep. She needed to find Catra. _Now._

~

Adora couldn’t face another soul today before speaking to Catra. So she stood just inside the stables, lying in wait like a lioness stalking prey. Finally, mercifully, she saw her. Catra was walking by. Her arm shot out from behind the door, and Adora yanked her into the stable with a yelp and slammed the door shut behind her. The blonde's eyes were wide with fear, anxiety coursing through her, while Catra was just confused. 

“Adora! What in the five hells has gotten into you?!” She paused, taking half a step back at seeing the tears pouring down her cheeks, a hand covering her mouth as she attempted to try and hold back the emotions. The knight dropped her sword without a care, and pulled her tightly into her armored chest, carefully combing her fingerless leather-gloved fingers through her golden locks. “What’s wrong, princess?” She whispered sweetly, trying to keep the worry from her voice.

The question was met with quiet keening sobs. “It’s all a lie,” she said in a pained whisper. “All of it… this place… the Horde… my mother… where I came from… I don’t even know who I am,” her breath hitching as she tried to remember how to breathe. She didn’t even have the strength to return the embrace of her knight. Now that she felt safe in the arms of the woman she loved, everything she’d been trying to keep held together was coming undone.

Catra pulled back just enough to meet blue eyes with heterochromatic ones, her gaze focused and intense as she searched her face for clarity. But she found none. This wasn’t making any sense. Still. “I know who you are,” she said firmly, tracing her cheek with her thumb. “You are Adora. _My_ Adora. You’re a woman of courage, and compassion, and brilliance, and strength. You are everything I am not, and all that I have ever wanted.” She was encouraged when her words seemed to reach her, to ground her. 

“You’re the woman I’m going to marry.” Catra brought her right hand to her lips to kiss the bronze circle placed on the wrong finger. “You are mine. And I am yours. And no person, no family, no war, no lie could _ever_ come between us. It would never change _who_ you are.” She pressed their foreheads together and breathed slowly and deeply, pleased when she noticed Adora slowed to match her own breaths. It took a moment. A few more sweet nothings, a few more gentle touches, a bit more of this steady deep breathing, but finally she was ready to speak again.

Adora sucked in a final deep breath before pulling back. “I need to show you something,” she murmured, lacing their fingers together. Her knight simply nodded and kissed her hand before waiting to be led on. The brunette was guided further into the stable, into the very last stall and she gasped at the sight, a freehand covering her mouth. 

“Adora…?”

“This is Swift Wind,” she murmured, releasing her hand to go and trace her fingers down the long nose of the stallion. “He… found me. And took me back to that sword in the woods… the one you all played at pulling…”

Catra’s eyes flitted back and forth between her and the steed, nervously, but patient. She then let out a quiet gasp as she saw the very sword unsheathed from the alicorn’s saddle. Her eyes studied the ancient runes along the blade that sparkled and danced with an iridescence that had not been there before Adora had touched it. She swallowed thickly as she began to understand, at least in part. “You were able to free the sword…”

She nodded, studying the faintly glowing gem affixed to the hilt. “And there’s more…”

Catra laughed sardonically combing a hand through her messy tied back hair. “More than the fact you’re the legendary She-ra?” But she paused as she watched her chew her lip, anxiety flaring again. The brunette laid a soothing hand over the one that held the sword. “Say on, my heart…”

With another deep breath, she did. “I’m not Commander Weaver’s daughter,” she said with sharp bitterness, refusing to ever again call her mother outside of her hearing. She sheathed the sword again, hands falling to her side. Best she didn’t hold a weapon just then. “I was kidnapped as an infant. She knew I would grow to be She-ra… the witch could sense it. So she took me and hoped that I would either never find the sword… or that she could convince me to use it for her own ends. For King Hordak’s ends.” Her mouth contorted and twisted. “Though now I know that he is really no king at all.”

“And… how do you know this?” She didn’t disbelieve, but only sought clarity. 

“Swift Wind… He told me everything. Showed me visions. I can hear him. He speaks to me. In my mind.” She chewed on her lip realizing how insane that must sound and she waited for her reaction.

The new information was met with a slow nod and a furrowed brow. “Alright… can… you prove it? Can you tell him to do something in your mind?”

Adora gave her a grateful smile that she was not just dismissed as insane out of hand. She turned to the animal as if to speak to him, but they only made eye contact briefly. Then, the white stallion moved from the stall to trot in a circle around Catra before resting his head on her shoulder, nibbling at her hand as if requesting to be pet.

She wasn’t sure how she felt about this information as she absently stroked his velvety nose and looked to meet Adora’s eyes. “So the magical horse can speak to you in your mind,” she repeated back to her, this time with certainty. 

“Yes. And he comes from the royal stables… at Castle Grayskull. My family’s castle.”

Catra felt her heart sink at the news, her eyes growing wide. “Your… your family…”

Adora averted her gaze. “I suppose all those years you called me your princess… you were right. I am one…”

She swallowed thickly, hand still rested on the horse. “So what do we do?” She asked in a strained whisper. “What do you wish of me?” She watched as her love clenched and unclenched her fists around the skirts of her red dress. 

“I can’t stay here,” she nearly sobbed, pain punctuating every syllable. “I can’t stay with a person, with a people that lied to me, that held me hostage and set me to fight my own countrymen. And for what? For power? Land?” She gritted her teeth against the bile rising in her throat, the slimy wrongness that suddenly seemed to coat her skin. That gut-churning sensation of being played for a fool, for being used.

Suddenly, she was again swept up in an embrace as Catra buried her face into the crook of her neck. “Then we won’t stay,” she said firmly. “We’ll leave. Tonight. Just you and I, and whatever we can carry. We’ll leave for Grayskull and never look back.”

Adora gasped, trying to suck air into her lungs as she felt emotions battle within her. Catra had a whole life here. Friends, status, a position, a found family… the only home she had ever known. And even still, of course, her own family in Grayskull would take in their lost daughter, but what about Catra? She was an accomplished officer in Castle Fright’s militia, knighted in service to the Horde, with two campaigns under her belt. Would they even let her stay? Let her live? “I won’t ask that of you…” She was cut off by a firm, but passionate kiss, their mouths working for a moment before their lips parted.

“Hush,” the knight said in a low growl, their foreheads touching. “I refuse to hear of it. I’m sworn to you. _Bound_ to you. If you cannot stay, then neither can I. Who would I be if I just abandoned the woman I love? What would that make me?

“But-” She blinked, meeting Catra’s hard amber and sapphire eyes. 

“Do you love me?” There was a hard certainty in the question.

“Yes…”

“Do you withdraw your consent to marry me?”

“What? No!”

“Do you want that life with me? The home we wish to build together? The one we always dreamed of…” She traced her hands down Adora’s arms to take her hands, leaving chills behind in their wake.

“Yes,” she whispered.

“Then I’m coming with you. And no army, no oath, no gods can or will keep me from you.” She smiled softly, her gemstone eyes softening to that of a calm ocean and liquid sun. “I am yours… and you are mine. And nothing will ever keep us apart.”

Adora finally felt like she could breathe, tears of relief pricking her eyes before pulling her into another slow kiss. “Then we’ll leave tonight,” she whispered against her lips. “As you say… gather all we’ll need for the journey and start heading west…”

Catra grinned, her sharp teeth standing out like they did. “We’ll meet at our place? Gather our things and ride out from there?” She felt her love nod. “Good. Then we should get to it.” She began to pull away only to be brought into another deep kiss. Catra chuckled, wrapping her arms around her to return it. “Once we leave here… we’ll make good on that promise. I’ll make you my wife at the first town we find that has a priest.” She met ocean blue eyes, her heart sighing. All of the love, affection, and devotion between them. This ridiculous tender thing that left their hearts, their very souls laid bare. 

Adora gently scrubbed her fingers against her scalp, arms lazily draped over her armored shoulders. “Nothing would please me more than to call you wife in truth rather than just in my heart.” They gently nuzzled their noses, attempting to stifle their giddy laughter, both wanting to prolong the moment, but also wanting to move. To prepare to leave and start their life together.

“I’ll come for you before daybreak,” she murmured against her lips. “Bring anything with you that you couldn’t bear to leave behind, along with basic supplies.” Catra was met with a nod and a kiss. “Good. Now hurry off. I’ll get things ready here.” She glanced back at the alicorn that had seemingly turned his head to allow them privacy. “And it might be best if you sent him along to wait by the river. It wouldn’t do to allow for anyone else to find him here.”

The blonde woman nodded and turned to look at the majestic beast, giving him a silent command. He nickered, nuzzling his nose into her hand briefly before trotting out of the stall and flapping his great wings to escape through a large open window in the side of the barn. “I suppose… I’ll see you before daybreak then.”

Catra nodded with a wide smile, her tail swishing in excitement and eyes seeming to dance. “I will see you before daybreak,” she repeated with a final kiss before she reluctantly parted from her, hurrying away to make ready for their journey.

~~~

Adora paced excitedly alongside the lazily grazing Swift Wind, unable to get rid of her nervous energy. She had discarded all of her dresses, leaving every single one behind in favor of a plain fitted tunic, a deep red quilted doublet, leather riding pants, and her sword belt, her hair tied up in its usual ponytail with a leather cord. The one she had would not accommodate the broad claymore like blade of She-ra, so her gift from her fiance from their binding would have to do. She had also taken the liberty of finally placing her engagement ring on the proper finger. She checked her boots a few more times to be sure they were laced up properly and rummaged around the saddlebags as she took her mental inventory again, the procedure starting to become more than a little obsessive. Swift Wind whinnied in irritation.

_You’ve checked those five times now. Rest She-ra. We have a long road ahead of us._

“I can’t just sit still,” she murmured. “I can at least be a bit productive until she arrives.”

 _You’re only being productive in trying my patience._ He shook out his mane before eyeing her. _But if you really can’t abide the stillness, mount. Warming up to run would do us both well._

Adora smiled before moving to plant a foot firmly into the stirrup and pulling herself onto his back. There were no reigns, because Swift Wind not only refused to wear a bridle but didn’t need it, so she carefully wove her fingers into his long orange-red colored mane. She was about to click her tongue on instinct, but the stallion was already moving into a walk in a wide lazy circle before slowly picking up into a smooth trot. It was amazing really. She’d never ridden an animal that moved so smoothly, so fluidly. She smiled, feeling the tension of muscle and sinew flexing and releasing beneath her as he trotted. She closed her eyes, a familiar feeling rushing through her again, an unmistakable taste on her tongue; freedom. Adora was so close to her freedom, to her new life with Catra as her bride. 

The tension in her shoulders slowly relaxed as she imagined her very near future, imagined spending every night with the woman she loved without fear, without shame, without anything left standing between them. She imagined her love wearing her finest feast day clothes, her thick brown hair combed and tied back, her wide smile and dancing eyes as she said the words that had always made her melt especially when filled with affection, _“Hey Adora.”_ Adora shivered, a grin spreading wide on her face. The only thing that wiped it off her face was the jerking stop of her mount, jostling her to fall forward against his neck. “Swift Wind! What was that for?!”

She blinked down at him, seeing his ears pressed back against his head. Where he was once relaxed in his movements, there was tension. He didn’t move an inch as he seemed to listen to something far off, and a sense of dread welled up in her belly. “Swift Wind…?”

_Something is terribly wrong._

Adora frowned at him, not entirely sure she understood but then she felt it in the ground. A thundering vibration. She turned to look back towards castle Fright and her eyes widened as a signal fire blazed even from this distance, a thin line moving towards them with familiar red and black banners raised. The Horde was coming for her… Her blood ran cold and her eyes widened as she gripped his mane. “Catra,” she whispered, before tugging on his mane to run back towards the castle to find her. However, while having a mount that was magical certainly had its advantages… there were drawbacks too.

 _It’s too late for her._ And without another word or further warning, he flapped his wings and began his ascent, heading west. Away from where Catra inevitably was.

“No!” She screamed, pulling at his mane. “We have to go back for her! I can’t leave her behind!”

_You can, and you must! You’re She-ra! The world needs you!_

“ _Catra_ needs me!” Her pulse thundered in her ears as her grip seemed to somehow tighten further, hoping against hope he would obey her will. “Swift Wind!” She shouted when he didn’t answer, continuing his course west.

_I’m so sorry…_

A sob hitched in her throat as she turned to look behind her. No… it wasn’t just a signal fire. It was _a_ fire. A big one. Everything was on fire. The castle grounds… her childhood home… was burning to the ground. She could see the barn was already gone, horses and soldiers running and screaming from the flames. Everything in her ached as she hopelessly reached a hand towards what was now becoming just a speck in the distance. “Catra,” she whimpered, tears streaming down her cheeks. How could a heart so full take just mere seconds to shatter? She brought her hand back to cover her face, her shoulders shaking as she cried. As she wept… 

“Catra…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **whistles innocently whilst twiddling thumbs**  
> **clears throat**
> 
> Sooooo... I didn't lie. They don't have a falling out... ^^;;
> 
> I hope you enjoy the angst.
> 
> Kudos and comments, even angry ones, are life-giving <3
> 
> Here's my [twitter](https://twitter.com/xtitan_1) and my [tumblr](https://scorchflamedancer.tumblr.com/). Hit me up if you like. I love talking to people about this fic, Catradora, or just spop in general.


	10. Not What it Seems

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _“For the honor of **Grayskull!** ”_
> 
> Waves of almost tangible glowing energy flowed out from the pale gem fixed in the center of the crossguard of the blade. The magic sparkled and shined as it filled the space in the clearing, completely enveloping Adora’s body. Shimmering light seemed to coat her being and as it faded it left behind shining white pearlescent armor with golden inlay and gilding spreading over the surfaces in fine curves and sharp angles in starburst shapes climbing up her greaves, rerebraces, and gauntlets, the bursts blooming on her pauldrons and joint cops as well as her breastplate. Her blonde hair shone like the sun as it grew in length and volume as her long ponytail as well as a red cape whipped behind her in the flow of energy. 
> 
> Adora sucked in a deep breath staring down at her gauntleted hands and reached up to touch the side of her face to feel a golden tiara that framed her face, winged tips jutting out over top of her head. 
> 
> Razz smiled fondly and gave a nod. “You see? Madame Razz knows what she’s talking about,” she said wagging a finger at her student.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spoiler-y Content Warnings in the bottom notes. If you don't need them, carry on. They are listed in the tags as well.

Swift Wind only landed when he knew his wings couldn’t carry him for another minute. The alicorn was panting heavily settling to lie down, curled under a tree

Adora had been staring off into the distance, feeling herself slowly growing numb to everything around her. Her body didn’t even feel like her own anymore. The cool of the evening didn’t touch her skin, her eyes didn’t process that the light of the sun had hidden itself in favor of the moon, the aching of her limbs from riding didn’t phase her, her very soul seemed to be floating in a nebulous void apart from reality. She didn’t even stir when Swift Wind landed, just staring absently ahead. Only when he reached around to nudge her thigh did she blink down at the contact. “What?” she murmured.

_We’re stopping for the night. It might be wise for you to pull out your bedroll._

The blonde woman looked around, squinting as if her eyes hadn’t yet adjusted to the dark. “Where are we?”

_The Whispering Woods. We’ll be safe here from the Horde._

“How far into the Whispering Woods?” She asked with an arched eyebrow.

The stallion huffed and glanced at her out of the corner of his eye. _Too far for you to walk all the way back to Castle Fright. It would take you three days on foot to find your way. That is, if the forest decides not to change on you. You need to rest and let go of what was behind you. You’re She-ra now._

The spark of passion she had always carried reignited in her chest as she glared at him, jumping to the ground to stomp over to face him. “I don’t give a _damn_ about She-ra! I don’t give a damn about Grayskull, or the war, or _anything_ else you might have to say! Leaving Catra behind was never a part of the bargain! You should’ve let me go back for her!” She pointed in the direction they had come from. “You should have let me fight for her!”

 _And let you be captured or worse?_ He snorted in derision, his round eyes seeming to narrow into a glare. _I am your steed, your guardian. Letting you run to your death never has been, or will be an option._

“Well, then I don’t want you to be my steed anymore!” She clenched her hands into tight fists, her throat growing sore from her screaming. “You said it was up to me. You said it was my choice to make whether to be She-ra or not. Without Catra, I have no interest. So you either take me back and we save her, or find yourself another legendary warrior.” Adora crossed her arms with a stubborn set to her jaw.

The pair stared each other down for what felt like an eternity before Swift Wind finally whinnied. _Fine. I will make you a deal. As you are, you wouldn’t stand a chance against the Horde. Despite your training, you aren’t strong enough to do this on your own. Allow me to take you to someone who can train you, teach you how to be She-ra, to wield the sword, and control her magic. Then when she decides you’re ready, then I will take you back to Castle Fright._

Adora eyed him with suspicion. “That would mean accepting the mantle of She-ra.”

_You are already She-ra. Until you die, there won’t be another. You can choose to do what you want with her power once you’ve completed your training._

The blonde considered for a moment more before she nodded. “Fine. The second, _the very second_ , I’m capable of wielding… everything you said, we leave for Castle Fright with no protest, complaints, or attempts to stop from you. Agreed?”

The stallion bowed his head. _You have my word._

“Good,” she muttered before going to climb on his back. “Now take me to this… teacher.”

_Tomorrow._

“No. Now. Or we part ways here and I go back on foot without training.”

The alicorn brayed in frustration shaking out his mane. _Woman! I have been flying all day!_

“You’ve got legs, don’t you?” She said with crossed arms and a smug expression. “These are my terms Swift Wind. I’m not wasting a precious second.”

His ears laid back flat in anger before he climbed to his feet. _Fine!_ He bellowed in her mind before he began to canter further into the woods. _You’re lucky she lives in the woods, or I just might’ve let you wander off to your death._

“Uh-huh. Sure.”

~~

The ride seemed to take forever, despite being only minutes along. Adora was determined to finish what needed doing and then get Catra back as soon as humanly possible. “Are we there yet?” she complained to him as they rode.

 _You’ll know it when you see it._ The stallion huffed, clearly fed up with her at this point. They hadn’t even been partners for two whole days and he already wanted to be rid of her.

The blonde woman ground her teeth with her impatience. “Who is this trainer anyway? How does she know anything about She-ra or the sword? Most people think she’s just a legend.”

_Because she trained the She-ra’s that came before you._

She blinked down at him. “What? How… how can that be?”

 _She’s very old. We aren’t even sure how old._ He turned his head slightly to look at her before straightening again. _We suspect at least a millennia._

Adora felt her jaw go slack at the information, her mind reeling. “I didn’t think anyone on Etheria could live that long…”

_All we know is that she has trained every She-ra we still have records of. She has also been known to do the same for He-man, but she isn’t as fond of him for whatever reason. She delegates where he’s concerned._

Her jaw worked as she processed, eyes darting back and forth as she was trying to grapple with some semblance of reality. Because this certainly couldn’t be. It wasn’t possible. There was no way this was possible. Her mind began spinning out into dozens of different directions, unable to find anything that was grounding.

_Stop._

Adora blinked at being pulled from her own thoughts and frowned at him. “Stop what?”

 _Stop thinking so hard. You’re giving_ me _a headache. Have you always been so…?_ He seemed to be struggling to find the word for it.

She felt her nose twitch in irritation at his comments on her own inner monologue. “As a matter of fact, I have. Ever since I was a little girl.”

 _Gods help us,_ he seemed to sigh.

“Hey!” She shouted indignantly. Though her annoyance and embarrassment didn’t last long. She looked up to see the impressive root system of a giant tree that had grass and giant leaves growing over and around it creating what looked like a hill, but also a hovel. She stared in wonder as smoke billowed from a crude chimney, a sheet hanging inexpertly from a doorway carved into the roots. She observed from the edge of the treeline as an elderly woman came through the opening. Adora noted how small and hunched over she was, guessing she would barely come up to her chin even with her wild white mane of hair, pink rags draping over her hunched frame and swinging about as she… swept the dirt? She was sweeping the dirt. Gods. What?

Suddenly the old woman stopped her humming and looked about, squinting behind her overly large spectacles. “Did you hear something?” Who was she talking to? “Yes… yes I did too…” Oh gods, she was talking to her broom. Oh no. “Who’s there?! Show yourself!”

Adora pursed her lips before hopping off of Swift Wind’s back and walking towards her. “Hello there. I’m sorry to disturb you, but I was hoping that-”

The old woman adjusted her specs before bursting out with a wide grin. “Oh, Mara dearie! It’s you!” She took hold of the younger woman and ushered her inside. “Come, come, come, I’ve been waiting for you!”

“I’m sorry, you’ve been waiting for me? Or this… Mara person?”

“Of course I’ve been waiting for you! We have to resume your training dearie.”

Adora sucked in a slow breath, massaging her forehead. Well. At the very least she didn’t have to convince her to begin her training. “Yes. Training. That’s why I’m here. But I’m not Mara, my name is Adora. So if that’s going to be a problem for you…” She paused blinking down as the old woman circled and prodded at her. She turned to throw Swift Wind a pleading look only to note him cantering towards a paddock off the side of the house, a knowing look in his eye. Her look of desperation turned into a glare.

“Hm. You don’t know Madam Razz, do you, dearie? No. No, you aren’t my Mara, are you? It must be the wrong time for that.”

Well, it’s official. This woman was mad.

Razz continued on, heedless of Adora’s mental commentary. “But you have the sword… don’t you? It’s your turn now.”

The young woman’s brows slowly rose. “Yes… it is,” she answered softly. “And I need to learn all I can as soon as I can.” She took hold of her shoulders, desperation in her grip, saturating her voice, plaguing her ocean blue eyes. “Please. I need to learn how to be She-ra _now._ Someone is waiting for me. I have to save her.”

The old woman, Razz, gave her an almost maternal smile. Adora was unfamiliar with the nuance of the expression but still found comfort in it. A boney hand gently patted her own. “You won’t learn everything you need to know in one night. We have time and much to do. Why don’t you sit and explain to me all that has happened, hm? I can tell your soul is burdened.” 

Reluctantly, Adora sat, her knee bouncing nervously as she explained everything to the ancient mad woman with the kindly smile. She told her about the Horde, about Weaver and all the betrayal and lies mixed in. She explained everything she knew about the sword and how Swift Wind had found her and all the confusion that had inspired. She spilled her heart out with everything concerning Catra, of their hopes and dreams, their carefully laid plans… and ultimately, their failure and her agony at having left her behind. She sniffed as tears poured down her cheeks, only looking up when a hand touched her shoulder and a cup of tea was held up to her in offering. Adora smiled weakly taking the proffered cup only after swiping at the tears in her eyes. “Thank you,” she murmured, bringing the edge of the carved wooden cup to her lips for a sip. It was some sort of berry tea.

“That is quite a story, dearie,” Razz mused, sitting across from her with her own mug. “But it seems to me that you have to keep moving forward. This Catra, if she is what you say she is, she stayed behind to protect you. You must honor that.”

She shook her head defiantly. “I won’t leave her there!”

“That isn’t what I said.” The old woman sighed. “You would let one woman define you and throw yourself into a nearly impossible situation that would surely be suicide?”

Adora winced, avoiding her gaze. “It wouldn’t be suicide,” she murmured.

“From how you’re talking, it seems you plan to leave here the moment you learn just enough about She-ra’s powers and magic and go charging in on your own without a plan, without someone to guard your back, and without any sort of exit strategy.” The old woman arched an eyebrow at her. “Tell me I’m wrong.”

She narrowed her eyes at her and pursed her lips. Was this woman mad or not? Was she only playing at it? She exhaled roughly, looking down at her tea. “Then what do you suggest?” She murmured.

“First of all. Get some sleep. By your story, I would say you’ve had a long and tiresome past few days. Your heart is heavy and your body needs rest. Some sleep will do you good. We can carry on with our conversation and your training in the morning.”

Adora nodded before drinking more of her tea, feeling her tense muscles relax after finishing it off. She let out a wide yawn, stretching out her arms and neck before she stood. She let Razz lead her to a cot at the far end of the cottage, fussing over her with the offer of more pillows or blankets. Though Adora politely declined, she smiled despite herself. Weaver had never done anything like this before. It was strange, but… nice. She blinked when Razz ran an affectionate touch along the top of her blonde head. 

“Good night Mara, dearie.” She shuffled away after that to settle into her own room.

Adora sucked in a deep breath, a sense of warmth filling her chest. It was all going to be alright. This strange, kind, idiosyncratic, caring, mad old woman planned on teaching her, on taking care of her. She knew that everything would work out. She clung to that hope before bringing her left hand into view to study the ring Catra had given her. “I’m going to save you,” she promised before kissing the circle of bronze as if her fiancee could hear her. “I promise.”

~~~

Adora’s training had begun the very next day, but it was so slow going. She had grown up with strict training regiments all her life, so she understood that honing any martial skill took time. Now that she had to learn magic as well, it was a whole new layer of complications that she had to tackle. It was the part that she struggled with most if she was honest. Her ability to even transform into She-ra was so unpredictable. 

Her first attempts left her frustratedly screaming the words that were meant to transform her didn’t seem to be working at all.

“For the honor of Grayskull!” Adora shouted for the final time. She waited for _something_ to happen. _Anything_. When nothing did, she threw the sword in frustration.

Razz sighed with a shake of her head. “You aren’t focusing, dearie.”

“I am focusing! I’ve done nothing _but_ focusing, and I still can’t do it!”

“Tell Madame Razz what it is you’re focusing on.”

Adora stared at her with narrowed eyes. Was that a trick question? “Transforming into She-ra.” 

The old woman shook her head as if disappointed with her answer. “The key to She-ra has always been love, Mara dear. You know this.”

She clenched her hands into fists as she stared at her, doing everything she could to keep her frustration in check. “What are you talking about?”

“Why do you want to be She-ra? What motivates you in this training at all?”

Adora swallowed thickly, turning to look at where she’d tossed away her sword. “To save Catra,” she said weakly.

“Why?”

“Because… I love her…”

“Yes! Excellent! Now. Next time, take hold of that feeling, cling to that reason for being, channel it through your body, and say the words. Your love, your connection to others, _that_ is the source of your power.” She gestured to the sword, an encouraging smile on her face. “Go on.”

She sucked in a deep breath before grabbing her sword once more staring intently at her reflection in the blade, then closed her eyes. She let herself meditate on the girl she left behind. All of their conversations and kisses, their dreams for their future, the nights they spent wrapped up in one another, and the lazy mornings that followed. Adora did what she could to keep the grief from touching her and only focused on the love that had been between them since they were too young to know what love was. Allowing that feeling to flow through her, she raised the glowing ethereal sword above her head and cried out.

_“For the honor of **Grayskull!** ”_

Waves of almost tangible glowing energy flowed out from the pale gem fixed in the center of the crossguard of the blade. The magic sparkled and shined as it filled the space in the clearing, completely enveloping Adora’s body. Shimmering light seemed to coat her being and as it faded it left behind shining white pearlescent armor with golden inlay and gilding spreading over the surfaces in fine curves and sharp angles in starburst shapes climbing up her greaves, rerebraces, and gauntlets, the bursts blooming on her pauldrons and joint cops as well as her breastplate. Her blonde hair shone like the sun as it grew in length and volume as her long ponytail as well as a red cape whipped behind her in the flow of energy. 

Adora sucked in a deep breath staring down at her gauntleted hands and reached up to touch the side of her face to feel a golden tiara that framed her face, winged tips jutting out over the top of her head. 

Razz smiled fondly and gave a nod. “You see? Madame Razz knows what she’s talking about,” she said wagging a finger at her student.

~

That was only her first transformation. Some days when she was hopeful, her She-ra form came easier to her and she was able to progress with her training. Others when she found herself deep in despair, she would reach and search and never find her, the day going to waste. The weeks came and went, and as they did she started growing more and more anxious, more desperate. She pushed harder and harder to try and prove herself worthy, prove herself ready to go back to Castle Fright, and reclaim what was her’s.

Months wore on as her training continued. 

_Months._

It was driving Adora insane. 

It was another ordinary day when Adora woke up to the enticing scent of something baking. Savory spices, meat, and buttery pastry. She smiled lazily rolling over in her cot to blink as she took in the tiny cottage in the light of the morning. The stone interior was covered with roots, a large oven carved into the rock. It looked like there was some sort of meat pie baking inside. Her gaze wandered over the supplies of food hanging from the ceiling, jars scattered everywhere filled with still unknown substances that she figured were just best left alone. There was a small round of a table with only two chairs set atop of woven rug, and honestly not much else. The small space could fit into Adora’s old washroom at Castle Fright twice over. But then she felt so much safer here than she ever had in the Keep. The exception being when she woke with Catra beside her.

The sense of peace she’d felt upon waking quickly left her at the reminder that she wasn’t here with her knight. She was still without her fiancee, her love. She sighed, closing her eyes.

“Good morning Mara dearie!”

The second sigh Adora let out was more bedraggled. She had hoped every day that Razz would get her name right just once. It never happened, and it seemed today would be no exception. Oh well. “Morning Madame Razz,” she answered sitting up with a stretch. She glanced at the doorway seeing Swift Wind outside nosing at a basket full of apples and she smiled softly. “Can we start training early today?” She was met with a tsk.

“Breakfast isn’t even ready yet, dearie. You can wait until then.”

Adora pursed her lips before pulling on her boots. She supposed she could go on a morning run while she waited for breakfast. Since her arrival, she had kept some fragments of her old routine in attempts to keep her grounded. With a brief explanation on what she was doing and the promise to return, and an affectionate scratch behind Swift Wind’s ear, she started off at a jog around the hovel. Despite having been there for a few months, she was still wary of the place. She knew getting lost in the Whispering Woods could be a death sentence, and she knew going around in a circle near a landmark would keep her safe. 

An aching familiarity pulled at her gut as she ran, a twist that she seemed to know so well but that she couldn’t quite put her finger on. Adora huffed pushing herself even faster, losing count of how many times she’d lapped the hovel. The burn of her muscles started out small, but grew more and more with every step she took, every heaving breath she sucked into her lungs. She gritted her teeth at the hollow feeling in her chest and tried to force it back. Adora was determined to ignore it, shove it aside. She just had to keep moving. Keep working. Because if she pushed hard enough, trained hard enough, she’d have Catra back. They could start their life together. Tears pricked at her eyes as she fought the grief welling up in her chest. No. Catra was fine. She was going to save her, and everything would be alright. It had to be. She had to…

Suddenly, Adora’s booted foot caught on something and she stumbled forward, face planting into the ground with a pained moan. She laid there for a moment, the throbbing from the pain and her exertion at the forefront of her mind. Adora took in deep steadying breaths to combat the lightheaded feeling. After she got more control of her breathing she rolled over to see Madame Razz staring down at her with boney hands on her hips.

“You haven’t even eaten yet, and you’ve already wasted all of your energy. That is just irresponsible Mara.”

Adora groaned, digging the heels of her hands into her eyes. “I was just warming up.”

“No. You were hurting yourself,” she shot back, her eyes narrowing behind her specks. “I called out to you three times and you didn’t even hear me. You didn’t stop until I tripped you. I’ve noticed how hard you’ve been pushing lately. Too hard. You aren’t recovering between sessions.” She arched an eyebrow at the girl on the ground. “Don’t think I don’t notice when you sneak out in the middle of the night to do more exercises.”

The blonde pursed her lips before turning her head to avoid her gaze. 

Razz knelt beside her and patted the top of her head. “You won’t be able to save anyone if you can’t take care of yourself, dearie. Would your Catra want you doing this? Punishing yourself so?”

Adora swallowed thickly knowing exactly how Catra would react. The hollow space in her chest seemed to grow at hearing her name and she let out a keening sob as tears fell without permission. She sucked in a deep breath, slapping a hand over her mouth to try and muffle her crying. Everything hurt, her body from running too hard, her stomach for how it twisted, her pounding head, her aching chest for the void where once comfort rested, her very soul ached for Catra’s absence. She felt Razz sit beside her on the ground, a hand rubbing comforting along her arm.

“It’s alright dearie,” she murmured over the girl’s sobbing. “Madame Razz is here. We’ll do everything we can to get her back.” 

The pair sat on the ground for a while, Razz letting Adora cry herself out amidst gentle touches and whispered words of comfort and encouragement. It took time, but once Adora was done she was drained. The pair of them shuffled back to the cottage, and the older woman had Adora sit at the table. She watched as the young warrior stared blankly at the opposing wall. She pursed her lips before going to cut her a slice of meat pie and setting it in front of her. 

Adora stared at the plate for a moment before prodding at the slice with her fork, then mechanically started shoveling small bites into her mouth. She knew that training wouldn’t begin until she’d eaten to Razz’s satisfaction. 

Razz let out a deep breath as she watched her. “Mara, dearie…”

The blonde woman looked up at her with an arched eyebrow, having long given up correcting her on her name. She was still working on a bite of her breakfast.

“You’re unhappy.”

With a swallow and long exhale she averted her gaze. “I haven’t been happy since I left Castle Fright.” The small moment trotting in circles atop Swift Wind, still believing Catra was moments away from riding out to meet her, that was the last time she could recall feeling happy.

Razz studied her for a long moment before patting the side of her face. “No training today,” she said with finality, rising from her seat.

“What?” Adora straightened watching her walk towards the stove to fiddle with the kettle. “Madame Razz, no, I need to-”

“If we’re going to storm Castle Fright, you’re going to need your rest,” she said absently. “I’ll make some tea and we can discuss strategy.”

Her jaw dropped feeling a flutter of hope in her chest. “You mean it?”

“Of course! I love this berry tea!” She cackled, lighting the stove with a snap of her fingers.

Adora’s eyes tracked back and forth as she processed and let out a quiet laugh. “You think I’m ready?”

“Yes, dearie. I believe you are. Now relax for a moment before we start our planning.”

Adora cleared the table once their tea was finished, nearly vibrating out of her skin with excitement as she laid out a large map of the Whispering Woods and boarding Castle Fright. She arranged tiny bottles and trinkets as stand-ins for people and the Keep’s defenses as they planned. Adora animatedly walked Razz through the numbers, the weaponry, and anything else she would need to know about the place she’d called home until only a few months ago. And now her intimate knowledge of the place would be its downfall. They had the element of surprise, Razz’s magical abilities, the advantage of flying in and out on Swift Wind, and of course She-ra. She wasn’t perfect by any means, but she was proficient enough to muddle through, not to mention being trained to use a sword since she was old enough to walk. They could do this. They could rescue Catra.

~~  
The plan was simple enough. She knew that the barracks were lightly patrolled since they were inside the walls of the Keep, and the battlement where she always sat with Catra only had a single guard once the sun came down. They would land there and Adora would take the lone guard’s uniform before sneaking her way into the barracks to see if there was a chance Catra had managed to cover her tracks completely and was just living out her duties as a captain. If not, she’d try and corner one of her old squadmates for more intel before proceeding from there. If Catra was being held in the dungeons below the Keep… well. They would cross that bridge when they came to it.

“So if she is in the dungeons, we’re going to have to-”

“Mara,” Razz cut her off. “I know the plan,” she reassured her. “We’ve been discussing it since this morning,” she reminded her kindly as the pair flew together on Swift Wind’s back. “Calm your mind.”

 _Oh praise the gods,_ Swift Wind mentally sighed. _Tell her I said ‘thank you’. You really do need to learn to clear your mind. ___

__Adora glared down at her steed, flicking his ear in irritation. “I’ll do no such thing,” she grumbled at him._ _

__Razz already seemed to understand the unspoken half of the conversation and gave a light chuckle. “It does my heart good knowing the two of you are bonding.”_ _

__“You call this bonding?” She muttered with a shake of her head at her comment and continued laughter._ _

__The three quieted and grew more serious when the highest towers of the Keep finally came into view. Adora let out a steady breath as she steeled herself to once again set foot in the place where she grew up, for hopefully the last time. She gasped seeing the lingering damage the fire had done, buildings scarred with scaffolding surrounding it, scorch marks etched into stone, and the stables were completely reduced to ash. That must’ve been the point of origin. She swallowed thickly, watching the spot as they circled around towards the tallest battlement._ _

__Swift Wind hovered just above the guard and Adora’s eyes narrowed as she mentally prepared. With a final encouraging squeeze of her shoulder from Razz and a motivational word, she jumped from his back landing on the unsuspecting guard, knocking him out cold. She checked to be sure he was really out before waving off her friends to proceed with their next part of the plan. She quickly stripped the guard of their uniform and changed into it, sure to tie up and gag them. Adora nodded with satisfaction before pulling the open-faced barbute helmet on, sure that it would conceal her identity. She kept her left hand on the hilt of the Sword of Protection as she made her way down the tower steps with purpose, her confidence in her stride propelling her forward without a suspicious glance from anyone._ _

___Eyes forward,_ she thought to herself. _Just keep going.__ _

__Adora finally made it out of the keep, and let out a deep breath before turning to head towards the barracks. A strange cocktail of anxiety and excitement grew in her belly with every step. She could be just moments away from seeing Catra again, the thought propelled her forward into a run, pushing the barracks doors open as she panted. She ran through the halls before coming upon the captain’s quarters that had been her finacee’s. With a finally steadying breath, she knocked on the door. “Captain?” She called hopefully. When the door opened, she pushed her way inside before anyone saw her._ _

__“Hey! Soldier, I didn’t grant you permission to enter!”_ _

__Her heart sank at the voice that was not Catra’s as she looked up to see her colleague standing before her. “Captain Scorpia,” she murmured, removing her helmet._ _

__The white-haired woman blinked down at her in shock. “A-Adora?!”_ _

__“Shh!” She slapped a hand over her mouth, looking over her shoulder. “Please, please don’t sound the alarm. I’m just here to find Catra, and then I’m leaving.” When she returned her gaze to the other woman she blinked in confusion at her expression. “Scorpia…?” She carefully removed her hand, noting it was wet with tears. “What’s the matter?”_ _

__“Adora…” She shook her head, sniffling, wiping her face with the length of her claw. “Catra… she… she was executed for treason and sedition. The day you left, she burned the Keep to try and let you get away. To protect you. Weaver captured her and…” She swallowed thickly. “They dealt with her quietly.”_ _

__Adora stared up at her with a dumbstruck expression as the words hit her like a battering ram. No. “You can’t be serious,” she retorted, her mind working to try and make sense of it all. That couldn’t be right. No. Catra was here somewhere, she had to be. “You’re wrong. She isn’t dead. She can’t be.”_ _

__Scorpia winced, placing a claw on her shoulder. “I’m so sorry,” she murmured._ _

__With a shake of her head, she pushed her way out of the barracks breathing heavily. It felt as if she were moving underwater, her vision fogging, legs growing heavy with every step she took. Her hearing seemed to fade into a high pitched whine as she made her way outside, her heart thundering in her chest. She slowly looked around the grounds of the Keep, rage slowly growing in her belly. This place. These people. They killed her. They _killed_ Catra. Her Catra!_ _

__Adora’s breathing grew more ragged, more intense as her vision narrowed and she saw red. They would pay for this._ _

___”For the honor of **Grayskull!** ” _She screamed at the top of her burning lungs, vengeance reverberating in her voice. She clenched her gauntleted fists, feeling the bones in her hands crack with the tension. She aimed her sword forward, a blast of magic shooting out from it at her command. She tuned out the world as she went on her rampage, cutting down soldiers or tossing them aside as they came to meet her. If she couldn’t have Catra back, she would do everything she could to finish what she had started in burning this place to the ground. Her body moved of its own accord, ducking, throwing punches, parrying, the slick feeling of her blade rending flesh.__ _ _

_____Adora!_ She felt her name echo in her mind and turned towards the source. Her sword shifted into a shield to block the incoming guard that brandished a spiked mace. Adora pushed him back before swinging the edge full force into the side of his skull and watched as he fell. She looked up then to see Swift Wind fighting back soldiers himself, Razz at his side blasting off attackers. _Catra’s gone!_ The stallion shouted at her in her mind. _We need to go! Now!__ _ _ _

____Adora huffed turning with her blade once more to slice through a final opponent that came at her before sprinting towards him. “Razz, come on!”_ _ _ _

____The short woman turned to do just that before a squadron of archers marched out, all taking aim. A strange sort of serenity came over the mad old woman and she smiled. “No, dearie. You go. I’ll hold them off.”_ _ _ _

____She looked over her shoulder to see the archers. “What? Razz, no! Just take my hand!”_ _ _ _

____Razz murmured an enchantment under her breath, magenta-colored energy spreading from her palms to create a barrier. “Adora!” She glanced back at her, a knowing look in her eyes behind her wide specs. “Go!”_ _ _ _

____Her jaw dropped in shock. She called her Adora… not Mara. Adora._ _ _ _

____Swift Wind grunted before he took to the skies._ _ _ _

____“Wait, no, Razz!”_ _ _ _

____Not again. This couldn’t be happening again._ _ _ _

____But before she knew it, she was far above the Keep and the soldiers were closing in on the old woman, overwhelming her with sheer numbers. Adora looked away when a great axe was held above her, the barrier faded away now._ _ _ _

____Razz was gone now too._ _ _ _

____~_ _ _ _

____Weaver stared blankly out the window of her office, seeing the spec of a white flying horse disappearing in the distance, ballistas and arrows trying and failing to ground her estranged surrogate daughter. She sighed roughly before turning to drop down into her desk chair. “Catra?” She called._ _ _ _

____Clad in burnished black plate armor, the magicat stepped forward and knelt before her, eyes glowing a faint red. “At your service, Commander,” echoed a hollow lifeless voice._ _ _ _

____The older woman smiled sadistically. “Good,” she mused. “Good…” She could use her, this mindless husk. Weaver would never admit it aloud, but Catra had always been smart and capable. The girl had more than earned the honors bestowed her as a result of her dedication and skill. Weaver also wasn’t above admitting her conditioning of the girl since childhood contributed to her success. “I want you to tell me where you and Adora had planned to go. Planned to do.”_ _ _ _

____The red flickered and faded as she fought the compulsion to comply. “Nowhere,” she struggled to keep emotion from her voice, to feed her lies. “Just to leave together. To get married.” Her voice was strained with the effort, giving away the fact she had her own mind at least for the moment._ _ _ _

____Weaver tsked with a shake of her head, lightning coursing through the knight’s body. “We have all the time in the world, Sir Catra. You will break. I’ll see to it. Personally.”_ _ _ _

____~~_ _ _ _

____Adora stumbled weakly into Razz’s hovel staring blankly. She sucked in a deep breath as the thoughts of what had just happened came crashing into her. What she had done. Her shallow breathing grew faster, more erratic as her hands began to tremble. With a hitched breath she fell to her knees, gripping at her hair as she let out an unholy wail. It was deeply laced with everything that roiled within the depths of her being. Her agony, her grief, shattered hopes, and dreams. What was she to do now? Where could she go? Who did she have?_ _ _ _

____She wept. Deeply and bitterly as the pain hit her in wave after wave._ _ _ _

____She could never go back to the Horde. Never would._ _ _ _

____Razz sacrificed herself to be sure she got away._ _ _ _

____And Catra…_ _ _ _

____Adora collapsed on the floor as her body wracked with sobs. Her life, her hope, her future, it was gone. All gone._ _ _ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW:  
> Minor character death, Fake main character death, Violence
> 
> ...So Catra's alive at least. That's something to be happy about?
> 
> Yeah no nothing about this is particularly happy. But it's fun as shit, ain't it? Dontcha wanna know what happens next?
> 
> ...plz don't stop reading.
> 
> I did warn you guys.
> 
> Here's my [twitter](https://twitter.com/xtitan_1) and my [tumblr](https://scorchflamedancer.tumblr.com/). Hit me up if you like. I love talking to people about this fic, Catradora, or just spop in general.


	11. The Moon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “She-ra?” Glimmer asked softly.
> 
> “Hm?” Her blue eyes stayed fixed on her sword.
> 
> “I wanted to thank you again,” she said softly. “Sincerely. We could’ve died without your help. So… thank you. For saving me. I owe you my life.” Glimmer chewed on her lip for a moment, her face growing warm as she made a decision. She leaned in to press a chaste kiss on her cheek.
> 
> Adora blinked, sitting up straight at the contact, then looked up at her in surprise. “I… you’re… you’re welcome,” she murmured, feeling her own cheeks warm. She watched Glimmer nod before turning to hurry back toward their camp. Adora stared after her feeling a strange twist in her gut as she rubbed the cheek she’d just kissed. She swallowed thickly feeling her hands start to shake.
> 
> How long had it been since anyone had touched her in such a familiar way?
> 
> Adora wasn’t sure she had an answer to that. Wasn’t sure how to feel about it at all.

~Four Years Later

Adora groaned, rolling her head to the side as she rested against the bar. She blinked past the sunlight streaming through the open windows of the quiet tavern. Morning already then? She huffed, combing her fingers along the shaved side of her head, following the sensation of short hairs along the back of her skull. She twitched at the sensation of her ponytail tickling her skin before dropping her hand. Her head pounded against the inside of her skull, and the sound of the empty tankards she knocked over clattering around her did nothing to help. She sucked in a hiss through her teeth massaging her temples. 

“Hey,” came a feminine voice from behind the bar.

“Shhh sh sh sh, not so loud,” Adora whimpered.

“I’m speaking at a normal volume,” countered the innkeeper, crossing her arms over her chest. “You have to move. I need to clean all of this up for the breakfast rush.”

“Why didn’t you wake me last night?”

She snorted and rolled her eyes. “Please. Once you passed out, nothing could move you, much less wake you up. Go on.” She shooed her away.

Reluctantly Adora turned on her stool and with bracing herself against the bar took a tentative step. She sucked in a breath before carefully stumbling out of the tavern towards the stable where she’d left Swift Wind.

The stallion stared at her with an unspoken concern that Adora always interpreted as judgement. Her eyes narrowed at him. “You can leave whenever you please if it bothers you so much,” she snapped at him.

_I said nothing, She-ra._

Swift Wind learned a long time ago not to try and lecture her on anything anymore. Especially not her drinking. Since their disastrous escapade at Castle Fright, the relationship between Adora and her steed had been tenuous at best. She’d screamed at him, thrown accusations that the blood of Razz and Catra was on him. That he should’ve let her go back for Catra the day they were separated, that everything would’ve been fine if he had. That both women would still be alive, and Adora wouldn’t be drinking herself into an early grave every night. But he still heard her cry alone as she blamed herself for all of it. All of the ways she could’ve been better, done better. Solutions she should’ve been smart enough to devise but was blinded by her naivety. 

Adora may yell at Swift Wind for what happened and his part to play, but deep down, it was herself that she blamed.

Her fault. 

All her fault.

Adora went to the water trough and splashed her face, not caring whether or not it was a fresh bucket. She braced herself along the edges, staring down at her rippling reflection to see just how tired she looked. Fine lines of worry had etched themselves into her brow and around her eyes despite only being in her early-twenties. She had everything to worry about these days, and not much reason to smile. She had thrown herself headlong into her duties as She-ra. Well. At least as far as she was willing to. So long as it meant avoiding any meaningful human contact. She refused to go to Castle Grayskull or meet with anyone else that led the Rebellion against the Horde. She didn’t need to grow attached to anyone else. So she made up for it by taking on platoons of Horde soldiers or liberating small villages from their control by surprise and dealing with them herself, hoping never to see a face she recognized. Adora didn’t want to feel attachment to her old home, her old allegiances. She wanted the Horde to hurt. Wanted Shadow Weaver to hurt. Since leaving she’d learned that that was the name for her that everyone outside of the Horde called her. She easily accepted the new moniker for the woman that lied to her all her life. The woman that destroyed her life. Adora hated all of this. Hated Shadow Weaver. Hated being She-ra. Considered the sword and everything that came with it a curse. 

But what did she have left?

Nothing but to bear this curse. 

Adora pushed off the trough before moving to resaddle Swift Wind with a numb muscle memory.

_Are you going to eat breakfast?_

“No,” she muttered. “My stomach’s upset. I’ll eat on the road once it’s settled.”

He let out a deep heaving sigh with no further commentary, moving at her command to trot out of the stable once she’d mounted.

~~

“Fuck!”

Shouted a shrill voice that echoed through the forest, the force of it spooking birds from their places along the treetops nearby.

A dark skinned young man let out a bone weary sigh, scrubbing a hand through his short hair. “Glimmer, come on. We aren’t that lost.”

Glimmer was muttering to herself as she shifted through the maps she had laid out in front of her on the forest floor. “Aren’t that lost?! Godsdamnit Bow, we don’t even know if we’re actually in the Whispering Woods or not!”

Bow leaned over her shoulder with an arched eyebrow, eyes scanning over the maps. “You have a point,” he murmured. “But still. That’s no reason to scream obscenities. We just need to find a town and I’m sure they can point us towards Plumeria.”

The stream of curses still poured out of the short woman as she fussed with the papers, starting to roll them up in irritation. “Fine. Any clue which way we’re meant to fucking go?” She arched an eyebrow at her childhood friend as he slowly turned to look around the small clearing where they stood with a face of concentration, squinting up at the sun, sniffing at the air, briefly sucking on his index finger before holding it up in the wind. 

“Plumeria is… east, right?”

“West, Bow,” she corrected gently, trying to restrain her frustration.

“West. Right. I knew that.” He squinted up at the sun once more, pursing his lips. “Alright. So west is…” He pointed towards the sun before slowly lowering his arm following towards the horizon. “That way. We should find a village somewhere on our way.”

Glimmer let out a breath and shook her head. “Alright. We’ll try it your way.” She put a hand on his shoulder before the pair seemed to fracture in a poof of glitter.

~~

Adora was sitting resolutely in her saddle as she stared down from the skys at a cluster of Horde soldiers. She was counting every soldier to be sure that it was in fact just a platoon of twelve, and that she wouldn’t be caught off guard by stragglers or rovers. She could easily take two platoons at once, but she needed to be prepared going in. Satisfied that she only counted the twelve and no one was unaccounted for, she drew her sword and opened her mouth to summon her She-ra form. Something stopped her, however. She blinked in confusion seeing two figures appearing in the midst of the small Horde camp in a cloud of sparkles. “What the…?” She pursed her lips when she heard the two start screaming in a strange combination of shock and a battle cry. The short woman brandished her staff and a glowing hand, the taller man drawing a crossbow from his hip. Adora let out a bedraggled sigh when the soldiers fell upon the pair. She lightly kicked at Swift Wind’s sides and he gracefully made his descent to the ground as she held the Sword of Protection high and shouted;

_“For the honor of Grayskull!”_

She felt the surge of power rush through her body like life’s blood. She stretched her free gauntleted hand, feeling the joints pop and arching her neck for the same effect. All tendrils of her hangover dissipated once the magic was flowing through her veins once more. She smirked before draping a leg over the side of Swift Wind’s saddle and dropping the last several feet from his back to slam into an unsuspecting Horde soldier. She shifted the Sword of Protection into a shield and drew her second sword at her hip, moving forward to meet her next opponent.

Glimmer’s jaw dropped at the sight of a this-this… ethereal goddess descending from the heavens cloaked in nearly glowing armor, her golden hair flowing behind her as she cut down every soldier that dared face her head on. She winced at the sounds of pain and broken bones coming from the poor fools that attacked her. Her grip on her staff slackened as she watched this armored paladin bash, and kick, and carve her way through her enemies. 

“Glimmer!” A distressed voice cracked behind her. “Little help!”

She blinked snapping out of it before turning to blast a soldier with a magenta ball of energy from her staff. “Sorry Bow!” She apologized, moving to focus on the task at hand.

When the last man fell, Bow and Glimmer stood panting, hands resting on their knees as they attempted to suck in enough air to try and calm their aching lungs.

Adora frowned, sheathing her standard sword and transforming the Sword of Protection from the shield on her arm into an additional bracer, maintaining her She-ra form. “What in the five hells was that?” She looked back and forth between the two of them, resting her fists on her hips, the metal clanking when gauntlet met fauld. “You could’ve been killed. Were you even ready to take on a platoon of Hode soldiers?”

Glimmer slowly raised her eyes to meet the bright blue eyed gaze of the giant woman. “I… uh… um…” She pressed her lips in a tight line feeling her cheeks warm.

“Are you… She-ra?” Bow asked with a wide-eyed expression. 

Adora closed her eyes and let out a deep breath, crossing her arms over her breastplate. “Yes,” she murmured. 

Glimmer grinned widely extending a hand to her. “She-ra! I’m Princess Glimmer of Brightmoon! It’s… I can’t believe you’re real, that you’re here! That you saved us! Thank you!”

The blonde seemed thoroughly unimpressed with the other woman’s title or her gushing, but shook her hand once in politeness. “Yes, well,” she sighed, glancing towards her stallion. “If you’re sure you’re both alright, I’ll be on my way.” 

“Wait!” She didn’t release her hand, tugging lightly until their eyes met again. “Do you… can you help us? We’re hopelessly lost.”

“Not hopelessly-oof!” Bow was cut off with a sharp elbow to his bare midriff. 

Adora eyed them both suspiciously before exhaling. “If you’re looking to go to Brightmoon, you’re going in the opposite direction.”

“No, actually. We’re trying to find our way to Plumeria.”

“That’s… a few weeks' journey. What business do you have that close to Horde territory?”

“It’s a diplomatic mission,” Glimmer replied, dropping her wrist and clearing her throat. “We should’ve been there by now, but we keep getting turned around in the forest.”

Adora glanced around as if trying to find a reasonable and polite excuse to decline. “I don’t know.”

Bow interjected, an arm coming around his friend. “We’re almost out of food, and she’s right. We were supposed to be in Plumeria days ago. Could you help us She-ra? Please?” The pair of them looked up at her with wide pleading eyes, leaning into each other as they blinked up at her with the guileless expressions.

The blonde’s eye twitched and she slapped a hand over her face before letting out a deep bedraggled sigh. “Fine,” she muttered, allowing magic to flow through her. Her plate armor then began to fade out of existence. With the armor gone, it revealed dark riding pants and a yellow linen shirt with a white leather jerkin with golden accents. The only thing that remained of her previous attire were her boots, her sword belt, and the winged diadem that framed her face, but she maintained her height and voluminous hair flowing down her back. “Come on then,” she jerked her head to the side before jogging over to Swift Wind and mounting, not leaving them a chance to react to her transformation or ask questions. “Hurry up!” she called behind her shoulder before directing him forward.

_Are you sure this is wise?_

“No,” she said quietly. “But what am I going to do? Leave them to die in the middle of the Whispering Woods?”

_Just reminding you that this is the very thing you set out to avoid._

“I’m well aware,” she hissed at him. “I’ll take them as far as Thaymor and then be rid of them.”

_You realize on foot, that will take almost four days in and of itself._

She stared forward, feeling like something internally fractured. “Fuck,” she hissed massaging her forehead. She glanced over her shoulder at the couple chattering to themselves in what she interpreted as high pitched excitement to have met She-ra. Always fucking She-ra. “You know what. It’s fine. I can deal with them for four days. It’s only four days. It’s not as if they can force me to do anything and I can just have them follow at this distance.”

Swift Wind patiently let her ramble on with her lists of reasons and excuses as to how this change wouldn’t disrupt her usual routine. Finally, once she’d finally quieted, _You didn’t buy alcohol when you left the last inn. You’re almost out._

Adora stared blankly ahead, staring over her steed’s head as her eyes glazed over in frustration. “Godsdamnit,” she muttered holding her face in her hands. Well. She wasn’t going to get much sleep until they got to Thaymor. She let out a bedraggled sigh before turning to look at the pair again and frowning when she saw them staring at her in awe as if she were some sort of hero. Adora grunted, facing forward again. “This is going to be a long week…”

~

Glimmer was tugging on Bow’s arm as they walked. “This is amazing! Not only is She-ra actually back, but we’ve found her!” She squeaked, trying to control the volume of her voice as she shook him lightly. “We could convince her to join the Rebellion!” 

While still excited, Bow was more subdued as he watched She-ra riding onward. “I’d like to. But we probably shouldn’t get our hopes up Glimmer. She doesn’t seem to really want anything to do with the Rebellion. Or. People.” They looked up to see the blonde looking over her shoulder at them with a dower expression before her eyes turned forward again.

The short woman waved off his concerns. “Please. Of course she’ll join up. She seems to be just as hostile with the Horde as we are. It won’t take much to persuade her to our side if she’s already fighting them.”

“Not if she doesn’t want anything to do with us,” he countered.

“Nonsense. We’re delightful!” She grinned up at him. “Just need to turn on the charm and she’ll be eager to come with us to Plumeria.”

Bow pursed his lips before the pair looked up to stare at her for a moment. The other woman must’ve sensed their eyes because she turned and their gazes locked momentarily before She-ra turned back once more.

Glimmer studied the other woman for a moment, a light dusting of pink coloring her cheeks. “Go talk to her,” she said, elbowing her friend in the side.

“What? Why me? This is your idea!”

“Because you’re charismatic,” she retorted.

“Well… I suppose that’s true…”

“Perfect! So, off you go!” She took hold of his arm and teleported to just behind She-ra’s horse before disappearing from his side just as quickly.

Bow sputtered turning to glare at her before feeling another set of judgemental eyes boring into him. He cleared his throat before straightening and walking beside Swift Wind, keeping his eyes forward. “So. She-ra. When did you find the sword?” He was met with a shrug and a quiet murmur he couldn’t quite catch. “Well we’re glad you did either way. We’ve heard rumors that you had. Our scouts reported that you crippled Castle Fright for a time. How did you manage that?” She only hummed in response. He frowned up at her. “Not much for talking, are you?”

Silence stretched between them before she replied, “I’m not one to swap pleasantries, no.”

“I see.” They walked for a moment more before he spoke again. “Regardless. Thank you She-ra. For saving us. I’m not sure if we would’ve made it out of there without your help, being caught off guard as we were.” He watched with a smile as she seemed to soften a bit.

“You’re welcome,” she said quietly. “I wouldn’t have just let you die. Not to the Horde.”

It wasn’t much. But it was a start. He hoped.

~~

The three traveled the rest of the day in relative silence despite Bow’s best efforts, their mysterious savior just didn’t seem to have any interest in either of them.

When night finally fell, they stopped to break camp and settled in to relax a little, a happy fire crackling in the center of the clearing they were in. Adora watched the pair cautiously as she sharpened her short sword. 

_I don’t think they’re a threat to you, She-ra._

Adora rolled her eyes at Swift Wind’s comment. “Shut up,” she muttered, focusing more intently on her task. She let out a quiet breath as she studied the hilt of her sword, lovingly tracing a finger along the blade. It was one of the only pieces of her late fiancee she had left. The other token being her engagement ring that she wore around her neck on a leather chord. Years ago she’d decided it was too painful to look at every day, but she couldn’t bear not wearing it at all. She never tried to justify it to herself. She just knew she wasn’t ready to let go. Not yet.

Adora started when Bow sat beside her with a loud thud and she clenched her fists to try and steady herself. “Can I help you?” she muttered before she resumed her sharpening.

Bow shrugged watching what she was doing. “I was just wondering. Why do you keep a short sword when you have the Sword of Protection?”

“Why do you keep two crossbows when you have a longbow at your disposal?” She arched an eyebrow along with her retort, still not looking up from her work.

“My longbow isn’t an ancient magical relic,” he answered with a good natured smile.

She huffed a disgruntled sigh. “I can turn the Sword of Protection into virtually any weapon, even a shield. I find it convenient to keep a sidearm handy while it’s a shield, or being used for another purpose at any given moment.”

He nodded, studying the short sword on her lap. “Such a simple blade for a legendary hero.”

“Back off the sword, Bow,” she snapped, the wet stone running more aggressively along the edge.

He held up his hands defensively, not quite understanding why she had such an explosive response. “Sorry, sorry. I didn’t mean to offend.”

Adora let out a breath before pulling out a cloth to polish the steel before sliding it into its scabbard at her hip. “It’s fine,” she murmured before setting it aside. She pulled out a flask from the pack sitting beside her and took a long drink, her shoulders relaxing. She turned to look at him again. He was just sitting there. Looking at her. Expectantly. It was unnerving. “What is it now?”

“Oh, you know,” he scratched at the scruff under his chin. “Just. Wondering… what brought you to that platoon of Horde soldiers to begin with. I just. Find it curious that you happened to be around the moment we needed you most.”

She shrugged and took another drink. She supposed it was a fair question. “I had been scouting out that platoon for a while before you appeared. It was a happy coincidence that I was there to save you.”

Bow brightened at that. An in! “Oh? What were you doing scouting them out?”

“Well, I was planning on killing them all before you arrived,” she answered dryly.

“So the rumors are true then.”

She eyed him warily. “I don’t know. I suppose that depends on what the rumors are.”

“That you’re working towards slowly dismantling the Horde for the Rebellion.”

Adora snorted, shaking her head. “I suppose they’re at least half right. I have no interest in what the Rebellion wants or needs.”

“Then… why are you chipping away at the Horde like you are?”

She stared into the flames, a haunted quality burning low in her ocean blue eyes. “It’s personal. Let’s just say I have a vested interest in seeing their kingdom fall. And I’m willing to do anything to meet that end.”

Bow watched her as she took another long drink from her flask. His nose twitched as the scent of alcohol assaulted his senses. “Anything?”

She pressed her lips in a tight line, her muscles tensing. She didn’t like the sound of that. “What are you getting at?”

“Oh, nothing. Nothing at all. It’s just. The Rebellion is already working towards that end. Eternia along with Brightmoon at the moment, gaining more allies all the time. That’s why Glimmer and I are going to Plumaria, you see. We’re looking to grow our numbers in resistance to the Horde.”

“Plumaria doesn’t have any significant military force. You’re wasting your time.”

“No, but they have druids. They’re also a crucial source of food. And if they aligned themselves with us, we cut off that food supply from the Horde.”

Adora swirled what little was left in her flask, studying him intently. “If you’re meaning to ask me something, just come out with it.”

Bow sucked in a deep breath before turning to face her fully. “She-ra, you’ve already done so much to aid the Rebellion’s cause without even trying. You want the same thing we do. And that’s to stop the Horde. Can you imagine how much more effective you could be if you joined us? If you were a symbol we could rally behind? You would have legions of armies at your back! You could convince everyone that’s been standing to the side to join the fray by virtue of just being… She-ra!”

She watched him with a skeptical expression. “They don’t even know me. _You_ don’t even know me.”

“We don’t need to. ‘Only the just, only the noble, only the kind.’ The sword wouldn’t have chosen you if you weren’t these things.”

Adora’s expression soured as he recited those cursed words back to her, and she rose to her feet. “I’m going for a walk,” she murmured. “Don’t wait up for me.” She vaguely heard him calling her back, his quick apology for having offended her, but she paid them little mind. This was exactly why she didn’t talk to anyone. Why she was avoiding the Rebellion and their ilk. Because she wielded this curse, everyone assumed they knew who she was. They all wanted a piece of her. Wanted to use her, just like Shadow Weaver, just like the Horde. She muttered to herself as she stomped through the forest, mentally brushing off Swift Wind’s attempts to check on her. She didn’t need his pity. Didn’t want it. She didn’t want any of this. But it seemed her destiny always came back to try and suck her back in. 

She found her way to a nearby stream and plopped down beside the calm waters. She finally felt like she could breathe, and took a moment to try to calm down. She closed her eyes, running her fingertips along her undercut, finding comfort in the sensation of the stubble along her skull. She didn’t want to consider Bow’s offer, but it made sense. She’d been taught how to lead an army, to strategize, to oversee a command. Despite her own insecurities when she was young, she did achieve an officer’s rank. Adora knew she could do it, and knew that she could use the Rebellion to break the Horde once and for all. When she leaned into the idea, she felt herself cringing away from it. It involved being around people. Caring about people again. She didn’t… she couldn’t… 

Adora heard rustling leaves behind her and she sat up straight turning and pulling her sword in reaction. She let out a breath and sheathed her sword again seeing that it was only Glimmer. She turned her back on the other woman, staring into the water. “Did Bow send you?” She muttered when she sensed the princess coming nearer.

Glimmer shook her head coming to sit beside her. “No. I was out for a walk myself when I saw you. I thought I’d check in.”

She snorted rolling her eyes. “Why?”

“I just wanted to make sure you were alright.”

The blonde woman gave a sardonic laugh. “I haven’t been alright for a long time. Your concern is wasted.” She felt a pair of violet eyes on her and glanced over to see a bemused expression.

“You’re just a ray of sunshine, aren’t you She-ra?”

“That’s me,” she retorted with a sardonic smile. “A fount of optimism and joy.” When the shorter woman guffawed at her joke, she joined in with quiet laughter despite herself.

“So I take it Bow made you an offer to join our mission.”

“He did,” she nodded, turning to look back to the water. “Sorry to disappoint, but I’m not interested.”

Silence filled the space for a moment before Glimmer spoke again.

“May I ask why?”

Adora opened her mouth to respond, but all of the reasons and excuses she told herself that seemed to make so much sense just fell away. She closed it again with a click of her jaw, her fist clenching on the hilt of her sword. “I doubt there’s anything I could say that would satisfy you.”

“Perhaps. But you could try.”

Her nose twitched and she stared down at her sword, tracing her thumb along the pommel. “I’m not… good with people.”

“You don’t have to be to fight a war.”

Adora rolled her eyes. “I promised to take you to Thaymor, and that’s where we’ll part ways.”

Glimmer shrugged. “If that is what you ultimately decide we’ll, of course, honor it. But… just know that you’ll always have a place in my kingdom leading our forces if you ever change your mind.” She rose to her feet, brushing off the dirt from the front of her pale purple dress and looked down at She-ra. Glimmer observed that she seemed so young, not much older than her and Bow, but there was this… dark cloud that seemed to follow her, that weighted down her soul. It had to be lonely living how she did. “She-ra?”

“Hm?” Her blue eyes stayed fixed on her sword.

“I wanted to thank you again,” she said softly. “Sincerely. We could’ve died without your help. So… thank you. For saving me. I owe you my life.” She chewed on her lip for a moment, her face growing warm as she made a decision. She leaned in to press a chaste kiss on her cheek.

Adora blinked, sitting up straight at the contact, then looked up at her in surprise. “I… you’re… you’re welcome,” she murmured, feeling her own cheeks warm. She watched Glimmer nod before turning to hurry back toward their camp. Adora stared after her feeling a strange twist in her gut as she rubbed the cheek she’d just kissed. She swallowed thickly feeling her hands start to shake.

How long had it been since anyone had touched her in such a familiar way?

She wasn’t sure she had an answer to that. Wasn’t sure how to feel about it at all.

~~~

Adora did everything she could to maintain her distance from the Brightmoon ambassadors. But gods was it difficult. For whatever reason they didn’t seem to want to take the hint that she wasn’t interested in joining their Rebellion, forcing all of the perfectly logical and reasonable points she should deep into a corner. She saw how they interacted with each other knowing that their relationship was more than merely a professional one, knew that they would chip away at her resolve to suck her into something resembling a friendship as well. Adora made it clear more than once she was not interested. 

~

They had been traveling sometime after breakfast and Bow had walked over to her as she rode on Swift Wind at a slow walk.

“She-ra! I was wondering if you’d given anymore thought to-”

“Wait! Shh… I think I hear something,” Adora cut him off. “I’ll go scout it out. I’ll be back in a bit.” She dug her heels into Swift Wind’s flanks before he jumped into the air with a flap of his wings, the alicorn and rider circling them in the air until Bow seemed to give up and walk with Glimmer again.  
~  
They had made camp sometime on their second day of travel, Adora once more sharpening her side arm when Bow came over with a line and hook. 

“She-ra, I was thinking about doing some fishing and could use some help.”

Adora arched an eyebrow at him, catching Glimmer coming into view out of the corner of her eye. “Glimmer!” she called waving her over. “Would you like to go fishing?”

The princess’s eyes brightened and she grinned down at her. “That sounds wonderful!”

“Good,” she motioned to Bow. “The two of you go have a nice time.” She stared back down at her task with a smug sense of satisfaction as the pair awkwardly shuffled away.  
~

Adora let out a quiet bedraggled sigh as her traveling companions sang some drinking song or another as they sat around the fire once they’d had their dinner. They were singing in a round too. She hated that. When they’d mercifully finished, it looked like Glimmer was turning to engage her in some way. Nope.

“Well, time to get some rest,” she said hurriedly, climbing to her feet. “Goodnight,” she said before going to crawl into her bedroll. She pulled her blanket over top of her head and pressed her face into her modest pillow wishing she actually could fall asleep. But of course, this was the third night and she had long run out of anything to drink to help her sleep. So here she lay, hoping sooner rather than later that the pair would do the same.

Unfortunately, hoping never got her anything.

“This has been harder than I thought it would be,” Glimmer muttered with a sigh.

“I told you she didn’t want anything to do with us.” Adora could practically hear the shrug in Bow’s tone. She shut her eyes tighter and curled up in a ball under her blankets, as if somehow that could block them out.

The Brightmoon princess dropped her voice, but not quiet enough to evade Adora’s hearing. “I just don’t understand. We want the same things… she could make such a difference if she would just give us a chance.” A deep sigh in the darkness. “She could save so many lives…”

Adora swallowed thickly, her grip on her blankets tightening.

“That’s something she has to decide for herself, Glimmer. We can’t force her into anything.”

“No,” she agreed regretfully. “But I just… I wish there was something we could do for her.” Adora’s eyes snapped open at that, waiting on bated breath as she continued. What? They wanted to do… something for her? “It’s clear she’s in pain. The Horde did something to her… I think… she really just needs a friend.” Something was tossed into the fire, it’s crackling and popping evidence of the fact. “Even if she never wanted to join the cause, I wish she would come with us to Brightmoon. It seems like she just… doesn’t know how to let her guard down around people. I can’t imagine how exhausting that must be. I wish we could just… give her a safe place to just _be_.”

Adora felt an iron fist grip her heart, at the earnest desire to help her, at the suggestion of maybe being friends. She swallowed thickly, bringing her hands up to cover her ears. She didn’t want to hear anymore of this private conversation. She just wanted them to sleep so she could go sit by the fire until they could finally leave again in the morning. They should be in Thaymor by midday tomorrow and then… She didn’t know what. But that was a problem for future Adora.  
~

Finally, hours later the pair finally went to bed. Adora laid still in her blankets waiting until she heard quiet even breathing from them both before sitting up and grabbing her sword belt, affixing it to her side. If she was going to stay awake, she might as well stand watch. She settled herself in front of the fire, Bow and Glimmer’s conversation bouncing around in her head. Her ocean blue eyes stared fixated on the dancing flames licking their way up what remained of the logs. She carefully added fuel to the fire before reclining again to just watch. She shifted her position after a while, arms crossing over her knees and she let out a long steady breath. Adora’s thoughts flew off in every direction, her mind as always a chaotic mess with little to ground her. But even so, she kept finding her train of thought always leading back to the offer to join the Rebellion. And… perhaps. For… a friend? She swallowed thickly, uncomfortable with how good that sounded. Maybe… maybe she should give them a chance. A rustling sound pulled her from her reverie. She jumped, half drawing her sword from her scabbard at the sound in the dark. 

“She-ra, it’s alright. It’s just me.” Glimmer smiled weakly as she stepped into the firelight, watching her traveling companion hesitantly sheath her sword with a huff.

“Don’t scare me like that,” she muttered, crossing her arms over her knees again. She paid no mind to Glimmer coming to sit beside her.

“You should get some sleep. I can keep watch.” She arched an eyebrow when the blonde woman shook her head. “It looks like you’ve been up all night.”

“I don’t intend to sleep tonight anyway. I might as well be useful while I’m at it.”

The Brightmoon princess studied her for a moment. “Nightmares?” She guessed.

Adora clenched her fist around the handle of her sword. “I don’t want to talk about it,” she answered in a clipped tone.

Glimmer nodded, slowly turning to watch the fire with her. She was used to She-ra keeping her at arms reach by now. But maybe… “I have nightmares too,” she said softly. “Often, actually. About my father.”

“Why? Was he a bastard?” There was a drawn out silence before she turned to see tears standing in her companion’s eyes. She straightened, grip relaxing on her blade. “I… Glimmer… I’m… I apologize. That was careless of me.” She bit the insides of her cheeks when she was waved off.

“No, it’s alright. Um. No, actually. He was a wonderful man. A good king, a powerful mage… an even better father.” She sniffed, wiping at her eyes. “I miss him every day.”

Adora fidgeted nervously with her sword, kicking herself for her heartless statement. “My condolences,” she said softly. “When… when did he pass?”

“Nine years ago,” she murmured, hugging her knees to her chest. “I was there the night he died. Held him as he took his last breaths. I was sixteen.”

Her heart lurched hearing how young she was. Adora remembered how she felt at sixteen, scared to death that her love would never return to her. And then not a few years after, learning that she wouldn’t. She swallowed thickly as she debated with herself for a moment. Coming out of the struggle with as much resolve as she could muster, she scooted closer awkwardly putting an arm around her in attempts to comfort her. “I’m… sure he’d be proud of you,” she muttered, feeling clumsy as she said it.

Glimmer still felt the stab of grief in thinking about her father, but she laughed weakly despite herself. She-ra was actually trying. “You’re terrible at this,” she teased, falling lightly into the blonde woman’s side

“Living on your own for years will do that,” she chuckled, still stiffly keeping an arm around her, only releasing the tension in her body when Glimmer muttered ‘oh relax will you’ under her breath. “You don’t… have to tell me more unless you wish to,” Adora said softly.

The violet haired woman considered for a long moment. This had been the first time she’d been seemingly invited to share with She-ra. The woman had been positively a brick wall until this point. She wasn’t going to squander this opportunity. So after a deep shaking breath, Glimmer continued her story. “He was the most powerful archmage in the whole Rebellion. He taught at Mystacor for years before I was born. Mages were always coming from miles around hoping to just get a single lesson from him, or from one of his apprentices. Once I was old enough to wield my own magic, he sent them all away and focused all of his efforts on helping me succeed.” She smiled fondly at her memories of Micha. “He never forced anything on me. Never pushed me to do or be anything I didn’t want to. I think that’s what made him such a great teacher. He didn’t just teach magic, but he taught you how to love learning about it. It made me want to be better, to make him proud.” She closed her eyes, letting images replay themselves behind her lids. “He was always telling me how proud of me he was. How much he loved me. It just made me work harder.”

Adora was sucking in quiet shallow breaths as she carried on, the raw gaping wound in her own heart twisting. “How did he…?” She let the unasked question hang in the air.

“The Horde,” she murmured. “They sent an assassin after him.” Glimmer gritted her teeth, muscles growing tense as she relived that horrible night. “We had been in his office for hours just talking. He’d had a busy day at court and was making time for me. We discussed the war, magic, my mother… everything and nothing all at the same time.” She grimaced, pain twisting in her gut even after all this time. “We hadn’t eaten dinner yet, we were too engrossed in our conversation, but finally our stomachs started to complain. I left his study for just a few moments to call for a servant to bring us something to eat. We didn’t want to stop talking,” she smiled weakly. “It was always so easy with him.” Glimmer let out a shaking breath, gripping Adora’s jerkin. “I came back to see a Horde soldier standing over him, pulling the medallion from his neck, her hand dripping with his blood.” Her voice broke and a hand flew to her mouth.

Adora’s heart thundered in her chest. She turned and threw her arms around Glimmer in a strong embrace. She didn’t know what prompted her to do so. Maybe it was a long buried instinct, maybe it was just compassion for someone else in pain, or maybe… she needed the embrace just as much as Glimmer did. She hugged her tightly to her chest as her new friend cried. This was what friends did… right? She rocked her back and forth, carefully running fingers through her hair to gently massage her scalp. She easily remembered how the sensation always soothed her, so she hoped it had the same effect on her grieving companion. It took a bit, more crying, more soothing touches, quiet utterances of condolences before finally Glimmer sucked in a shuddering breath.

“Thank you,” she murmured. “Sorry.”

“Don’t apologize,” Adora retorted with a quiet fierceness. “I… I’ve lost loved ones too. I understand. Truly.”

Glimmer stared up at her, swallowing thickly. She’d never seen passion in the other woman’s eyes until this moment. This could blow up in her face if she pushed… or maybe… “Who did you lose?”

The blonde woman pursed her lips considering for a long moment before deciding that if Glimmer could lay her pain out in front of her after she’d treated her so coldly these past few days, the least Adora could do was return the favor. “My mentor, the closest person I ever had to a mother.” She gave a sardonic laugh. “I didn’t even realize how much she meant to me until I lost her.” She let out a deep breath. “And then…” She clenched her jaw, feeling her lip start to quiver, unable to say her name.

Glimmer looked up at her in question, laying a gentle hand on her arm in quiet encouragement. 

“We grew up together,” she explained. “We… we were in love. She… she was my everything,” she whispered in quiet agony. “We were going to run away and get married.” She patted the ring that hung at her neck beneath her shirt, her face contorting in pain, tears standing in her impossibly blue eyes. “And then…” She swallowed thickly, shaking her head. “Well. They both died trying to protect me.” She looked down when Glimmer’s grip on her tightened. 

“You blame yourself. Don’t you?”

Adora turned her head to look away.

“That’s why you keep everyone at arm's length. Why you won’t tell us your name.”

“I’m She-ra,” she answered mechanically

“She-ra is what the sword makes you. It isn’t your name. It isn’t… _you_.”

Silence grew as she shifted her gaze from the fire to stare down at Glimmer in dumbstruck awe. Her heart still twisted with the grief dredged up from discussing her love and mentor, but… for the first time in years… she felt… seen.

The Glimmer grew anxious as the silence stretched, interpreting it as having overstepped. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to-”

“Adora,” she whispered.

Glimmer pulled back to try and meet her eyes, but swallowing thickly when their gaze locked.

“That’s my name. Adora. Of House Grayskull,” she murmured.

The shorter woman stared up at her in awe, jaw dropping slightly. “You’re… the lost princess of Grayskull…?” She was met with a single nod. She reached up to cover her own mouth with a hand, eyes going wide. Her violet eyes shifted back and forth as she processed that for a moment, then let out a quiet breath before looking back up at her. She smiled softly up at the taller woman and pulled back just enough to extend a hand. “It’s nice to meet you Adora. I’m Glimmer of House Brightmoon.”

Adora smiled warmly back at her, taking her hand to shake. “Good to meet you,” she said softly, meaning it this time. To her relief, Glimmer didn’t press her for more information, didn’t mention the Rebellion, or Grayskull, or obligations. They just spent the rest of the evening talking comfortably by firelight about inconsequential things. The part of Adora that she had kept sedimentary and locked away from the world slowly started to come to life again among the joking and the laughter. Gods, it felt good to laugh again. Too much of her life had just been breathing pain and loneliness in and out of her body. But right now, here with this stubborn persistent girl, she finally found herself again. 

At one point, Glimmer’s eyes flashed and a blanket floated over to wrap around the both of them as the fire started to die. Adora stared down at her as she told an anecdote about some ridiculous prank she’d pulled on Bow when they were children and she smiled. Glimmer was like the moon, Adora decided. A bright, soothing, guiding light to bring her home in the midst of her dark night. The tension she had been holding for so long finally let go and it was like finally taking in air after having it denied to her for so long. The two women wrapped up in each other's arms and a blanket, slowly started to nod off.  
~

The next morning, Bow stirred with a wide yawn. He sucked in a breath and stretched his arms over his head before pulling himself out of the warmth of his blankets and walking over to where the fire had been. He blinked in surprise to see She-ra and Glimmer… cuddling? And She-ra… she seemed… smaller some how. Not just more vulnerable, but she no longer appeared to be the giant of a woman he had met almost a week ago. He smiled realizing that maybe… just maybe, she was finally on their side.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this update took so damn long comparatively. Kinda fucked myself. I caught up with everything I'd written before posting the first chapter. Then there was my birthday, and Halloween, college has been kicking my ass, and just life and other stuff.
> 
> But here we are! Best Friends Squad!
> 
> ...
> 
> Catradora stans, plz don't leave. Catra comes back, I swear.
> 
> A fun aside, I (kinda?) commissioned someone to do a Knight Catra/Princess Adora fanart thing so I'm excited to see how that turns out. I'll post it the next update I get it at!
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Hopefully, life calms down a bit and I can spend more time writing so there won't be crazy long breaks between chapters.
> 
> Kudos and comments are life-giving <3
> 
> Here's my [twitter](https://twitter.com/xtitan_1) and my [tumblr](https://scorchflamedancer.tumblr.com/). Hit me up if you like. I love talking to people about this fic, Catradora, or just spop in general.


	12. Coming Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adora felt an icy chill run down her spine at a familiar laugh that she not only never thought she would hear again, but it was… _wrong_. 
> 
> “Hello, Adora.”
> 
> She slowly turned towards the throne and felt her heart drop into her stomach at the sight. “C-Catra?” She managed to choke out.
> 
> There she was, lounging casually on the throne that belonged to another. The magicat’s tail lazily lashing back and forth, elbow on the armrest, chin in hand. The armor she wore was burnished in black with glow red runes etched into the metal’s surface. Time had done its work in wearing the lines of her face, her once long wild mane was shorn and slicked back close to her head making her ears look more prominent than she recalled, a somehow emotionless smile plastered on her face, and her eyes… they were not the gemstone heterochromic aqua and gold she remembered, but a dull glowing red.
> 
> Adora felt her hands begin to shake. “What did they do to you?” she whimpered.

Adora was surprised when she discovered that morning that she had shifted out of her She-ra form, but not as surprised as Bow and Glimmer were when they discovered that She-ra was a form. Or as surprised as Bow was when she extended a hand and offered her true name. It didn’t take much from Glimmer to quash any invasive questions he might have had at this revelation of her being the lost princess of Grayskull, and the group set about packing up camp. 

While it was not as easy as it had been the night before, Adora actually was willing to speak with them with some courtesy as they continued on their journey. The Brightmoon ambassadors were careful in their subjects of conversation they chose, not wanting to ruin what little progress that had been made by Glimmer the night before.

Adora looked up when she saw the traces of a village in the distance. She hopped off Swift Wind and drew the Sword of Protection. 

Glimmer arched an eyebrow at her. “What are you doing? Are you expecting the civilians to attack us?” She teased crossing her arms across her chest.

Adora chuckled, shaking her head. “No. Just… just watch.” She sucked in a breath before calling out the words that summoned She-ra, feeling the magic syphoning from the gemstone in her blade into her body, pulsing through her veins. She exhaled feeling her body stretch, the burn of her muscles growing, the heft of the armor settling on her shoulders, the weight of her hair growing. When she finally opened her eyes, she smirked at Bow and Glimmer’s wide-eyed gaping expressions. “When I go into town with Swift Wind, I tend to go as She-ra.” She stowed the Sword of Protection as a bracer on her left arm as she always did and mounted her steed again. “Come on you two. The promise was to take you _to_ Thaymor, not just outside of Thaymor,” she joked. It only took a heartbeat or two for Bow and Glimmer to gather themselves enough to follow. 

It wasn’t long before the small traveling party drew attention and shouts came from the village as they rode in. Adora had a polite placating expression as people came up to greet her and wave as she passed by, a few even brave enough to try and reach out to touch her or her horse as if the mere contact would impart a blessing on them. She tolerated it, or so it seemed, at least until small children pushed their way forward. That’s when Adora grinned widely.

Glimmer blinked, taken aback at just how animated she was once she dismounted and knelt down on the children’s level. The blonde woman nodded emphatically as the little ones chattered on, was patient when they tackled her with hugs, and laughed boisterously when she flexed, lifting children up with her as they hung by her biceps when she stood.

“Well, would you look at that,” Bow mused resting his hands on his hips as he watched. “Who would’ve thought the statue we’ve been traveling with had a soft spot for children.” 

Glimmer hummed in agreement, her heart warming as she watched her set down the children that hung on her arms and look around. When Adora seemed to find who she was looking for, her grin got impossibly wider and she knelt down to open her arms to one child in particular, lifting them up and spinning once in a tight embrace. It was a young magicat with unkempt blonde hair, an undercut similar to Adora’s if not a bit shorter and jaggedly done. She let them sit on her hip as she smiled down at them, a real smile. She nodded attentively listening as the child seemed to go on and on about something or other. They leaned in to whisper in her ear and Adora bent her head to hear. They must’ve said something funny, because whatever it was made Adora throw her head back in laughter and she tousled their hair affectionately. 

Glimmer let out a breath as she attempted to puzzle out the enigma that was Adora Grayskull. She had been so cold and bitter this whole week… except for last night. But even still, that was nothing compared to this warmth and life she exhibited in this moment. This person that seemed to be so loving and attentive to these children. It was a difference as stark as day and night. She wanted nothing more than to get to know _this_ Adora.

“Do you think she’ll really leave to go off on her own again? What did you talk about last night?”

Glimmer glanced over at Bow briefly, and let out another deep breath watching Adora fawn over the magicat child. “She opened up. At least a little.” It was clear by her tone that she wasn’t about to betray that confidence. “I don’t know Bow. I really hope she comes with us.” She shrugged, smiling despite herself. “I really like her,” she murmured.

Bow blinked at that, his brows shooting up as he glanced over at her. “Oh?”

The shorter woman swatted at him. “Don’t make a fuss about it,” she grumbled, feeling her cheeks grow warm. “I. Just. I don’t know. There’s something about her.”

“You mean that she’s an eight foot tall muscular magical warrior goddess,” he teased only to be met with a firm punch in the arm. He yelped, running a hand over his bicep that was sure to bruise now. He smiled despite himself when Glimmer huffed, crossing her arms in indignation. “Well. We need to take the time to resupply and get directions to Plumeria. We’ll more than likely end up staying here for the night.” He nudged her slightly. “Take the time to talk to her. Maybe she can still be persuaded to come with us.”

Glimmer swallowed, nodding her agreement before her eyes once again found Adora in time to see her set the child at her hip back on their feet only for them to take her hand in their’s. Adora looked over her shoulder to see Glimmer watching them both and gave a light shrug with an unfamiliar, but not unpleasant, lopsided smile as she was pulled forward by the magicat child. “I hope so.”  
~~

Bow and Glimmer had separated with their own lists of respective tasks to try and get done before nightfall so the evening could be their own. Glimmer had a decided advantage with her ability to teleport around town to find what she needed and finished quickly enough that she didn’t feel the least bit guilty stopping at the local inn. She ordered a hot meal and a cider, sinking heavily into her chair with a sigh. She smiled listening to a bard pluck at their lute in the corner of the common room, idly sipping from her tankard. She heard someone new enter the common room and reflexively glanced over to see Adora walking towards her. She’d shed her armor in favor of the white jerkin and yellow linen shirt she’d grown familiar with over the past week.

“Hi,” Adora said, coming to sit with her.

Glimmer dramatically placed a hand over her heart. “The great She-ra graces me with her presence? Am I worthy of her time?” She teased with a smirk.

Adora rolled her eyes, playfully elbowing her. “Shut up.” Though she laughed easily along with her violet haired companion.

“I ordered something to eat. Care to join me?”

“I could _really_ use a drink.” There was almost a desperation to the request.

The Brightmoon princess nodded, waving over a serving girl for Adora to put in her order. She swirled her cider around in her tankard studying her new friend with a serious expression.

Adora thanked the girl that brought her drink and took a long pull from her tankard. When she finally noticed Glimmer’s staring at her, she arched an eyebrow at her. “What?”

“Just. Trying to figure you out.”

The blonde smirked. “Having fun with that?” she asked over the lip of her mug, taking another sip.

“I would if I had a better idea on how you’re going to answer my next question.”

She hummed setting her cup down, crossing her arms on the table. “And what question might that be?”

Glimmer turned to face her directly, a determined set to her eyes. “Will you come with us to Plumeria?”

She frowned, pursing her lips as she considered. “I don’t know Glimmer,” she murmured.

She shook her head, reaching over to take her hand. “Forget She-ra. Don’t come as She-ra. Come as Adora. Just… I don’t like the idea of you being left alone the way you have been. Please.”

Adora shrank back, her hand shaking under Glimmer’s touch. “I…” She swallowed thickly, meeting her eyes. She sucked in a deep breath before slowly letting it out. After last night and how much Glimmer had revealed about her past and how little she gave in return, she figured she at least owed her some explanation. “I’m. Scared,” she admitted, staring down at the table between them. “Letting anyone in terrifies me. Trusting people, relying on them, investing in them. I’ve lost… _everyone_ that I’ve ever truly cared about.” Adora swallowed thickly. “The last time it happened, it broke me. I can’t…” She slowly shook her head. “I can’t do that again. I don't think I could survive it. That’s why I haven’t gone home to Grayskull. That’s why I’ve been avoiding the Rebellion. You and Bow are right. I could do the most good if I joined you. But I don’t know if I could handle getting close to anyone and letting that happen again. I can’t… let anyone in.”

Glimmer listened patiently through her explanation, squeezing her hand lightly. That must’ve been an agonizing thing to admit to. She wanted to give it the weight and respect such a confession deserved. She nodded, considering as she tried to put together a response. “Adora,” she began slowly. “What you’re doing now… how you spend your days… would you… call that living?”

Adora winced at the question, her shoulders tensing. “I’m not dead,” she said in attempts to skirt the question.

The Brightmoon princess gave her an indulgent smile. “When my father died, I never wanted to get out of bed. This darkness just seemed to take hold of me and refused to let go. And for a long while I just let it.” She squeezed her hand again before releasing it, taking up her mug for a small sip of her cider. “I think if I had been afforded the opportunity, I would’ve done much of what you have been.”

“Why haven’t you?” she murmured in question. 

Glimmer smiled widely up at her. “Bow. He stood by me and refused to let me fall. Even when I resented him for it, even when I treated him poorly and I pushed him away. He knew me well enough to know that I needed him more than anything in that moment.” She paused, considering something for a moment. The violet haired woman seemed to come to a conclusion and she nodded before meeting a pair of ocean blue eyes. “I think right now, you need someone to take hold and refuse to let go. So if you don’t come with us… I’ll come with you.” She spoke with a determined certainty that startled the other woman.

Her mouth fell open at the shock. “But… You… your mission, the war… you have a kingdom to get back to,” she said making a sweeping gesture. “I…” She huffed, feeling her mind spin out in a million directions, her eyes tracking back and forth as she attempted to process the suggestion she’d just been given. Her head snapped up when Glimmer took hold of both of her hands, gently squeezing.

“Adora,” she said softly. “After everything you’ve been through, after everything you’ve done for my people even without meaning to… you deserve to have a friend you can count on. And this isn’t a threat… it’s an offer. Don’t concern yourself with everything else. They can manage without me for a time.” She smiled up at her. “I don’t want you to be alone anymore.”

Adora tried to set her jaw in attempts to maintain a hold on her emotions, but she felt them welling up in her chest. Even if they parted ways that night, that this woman decided that Adora’s well being meant that much to her… she couldn’t ground herself and she felt so overwhelmed. Yet somehow, there was a sweetness to being swept away in the sensation. To know that there was still someone alive who cared. Cared about her, Adora, not just She-ra. She started and looked up when she felt a hand at her cheek. Glimmer was smiling at her with a softness in her eyes, tracing a thumb beneath her eye. She hadn’t realized she’d been crying. Adora found herself weakly returning her smile, pressing her hand to her cheek in quiet thanks.

“I’ll go,” she said in a hoarse whisper.

Glimmer arched an eyebrow at her in question.

“To Plumeria. To Brightmoon. To wherever you lead me. I’ll go.”

The princess stared in surprise. “Are… are you sure?” She asked cautiously.

Adora gave a firm nod. She sniffed and wiped quickly at her face to try and erase all evidence of her crying. “I am.” She nodded again, unable to meet her eyes. “If… it’s too much… I reserve the right to change my mind. But yes. For now. I’m sure.” She looked up when Glimmer slid Adora’s tankard into her hand and raised her own.

“To new adventures… and new friends?” She grinned widely, clearly trying to contain her excitement.

With a hum, the blonde woman smiled back lifting to click their pewter mugs together. “I’ll drink to that,” she said before tossing back the rest of her ale. She signaled for the barmaid to come over and ordered a few more rounds.

“Celebrating, are we?” Glimmer chuckled.

Adora shook her head. “Oh no, this is a typical night for me.” She arched an eyebrow at her. “Try and keep up if you can.”

Glimmer scoffed ordering the same for herself. “You're on.”

~~

Adora didn’t know what she had gotten herself into when she agreed to follow Glimmer wherever she asked (though she did insist on her companions acquiring horses once she realized what it all entailed). Their trip to Plumeria had certainly been successful, Adora conceding to arrive as She-ra. Their High Druidess had been quite taken with her and had even been helpful, teaching her how to access her healing abilities. It was something Razz never had the chance to teach her. The realization was a stab to the heart, but Glimmer’s presence and encouragement was a salve to her soul she never realized she needed. 

Their journey took them not just to Plumeria, but to the port kingdom of Salineas for their aid as far as a navel force, and even to the far reaches of Dryl for their advancement in technology for not just weapons of war, but for everyday living. With each diplomatic visit, the trio was met with success and new friends that they could call on in their conflict with the Horde. All the while Adora relaxed more and more, allowing herself to just be for the first time since leaving Castle Fright.

Adora found that despite the support of her new friends, she still held on to the vice that was her drinking habit. A habit that while Bow made his concern known once or twice, Glimmer was happy to indulge and even join in with her. The pair often found themselves getting drunk together whenever they stopped to stay at an inn, even a few times around the fire. That first night in Thaymor inspired a playful rivalry when it came to their tolerance. Glimmer still insisted every time that _this time_ she could outdrink her. She never could, obviously. It was nice to drink for pleasure rather than to just drown out her pain. While the grief of her loss still clung to her ribcage, it loosened enough that she could breathe again. Adora could finally even go days without being reminded of her lost love. Though it didn’t stop the nightmares. Yet Glimmer was always there to moore her, to soothe her. And she in return was there when the Brightmoon princess cried for her departed father. They found a kinship there that Bow just didn’t understand, despite his best efforts.

The months passed as they traveled around Etheria and garnered support for the Rebellion. They had both happened upon and hunted down Horde controlled towns always driving out the invaders when they did. The three of them had become a well oiled warmachine in their time together, and Adora couldn’t remember feeling this alive in years. She was loathed to think of what she would do when the Brightmoon emissaries finally had to leave for their home, or worse, Grayskull. She wasn’t sure she was ready for that.

They had settled at an inn in Erelandia for the night after another successful pact was made with the queens Spinerella and Netassa, and Adora let out a deep sigh as she settled into her chair across from Glimmer. Bow had elected to retire early, taking his dinner in his room leaving the two women to their own devices with the admonishment to not get too drunk.

Adora arched an eyebrow at her friend. “Are we actually going to listen to him tonight?” The pair made eye contact, unable to subdue their smiles threatening to break through before they both threw their heads back in a guffaw. 

Glimmer sighed, reclining in her seat drinking from her tankard. “I love Bow. But honestly, he worries too much for his own good.”

She hummed her agreement taking her own drink before digging into her meal. The pair ate in silence for a time, wanting to have full stomachs before the drinking truly began. They were content to relax and just enjoy one another’s company without idle conversation. Or at least that’s what Adora thought until she looked up to see Glimmer studying her intently. “What?” She asked around a mouthful of potato.

She chuckled, reaching over to tap her chin up to close her mouth. “Our mission is almost over,” she answered, growing more serious now. “We have perhaps two more kingdoms to visit, and then we’re to meet with my mother in Brightmoon to debrief before moving on to Grayskull.”

Adora swallowed what was left in her mouth before washing it down with her ale. Her expression twisted into one of unease. “I see,” she sighed. She reached her hand to scrub her fingers through her undercut as she considered. “I’m not ready to go to Grayskull and meet…” She paused, her face contorting in anxiety as her mind spun off.

Glimmer nodded. “I understand. No one will force you.”

“So I suppose I’ll just have to stay in Brightmoon while you and Bow are away,” she said, turning up to meet her gaze.

Violet eyes blinked in shock as she processed that. Adora was going with them to Brightmoon. Adora would wait for her there… she wasn’t going to disappear. She grinned widely, leaning forward slightly. “Really?” She was rewarded with quiet laughter and an affirmative nod.

“Consider She-ra among the ranks of the Rebellion,” Adora beamed just as widely, raising her tankard in cheers. 

Glimmer eagerly clanked their mugs together before they both drank them down. She waved over the barmaid for more.

They certainly would not be heeding Bow’s warning tonight.  
~

The two women had long since lost count of the pints they consumed and had since stumbled into a corner of the inn to sit on the floor against the wall, pressed into each other’s sides. They had an empty tankard sitting a few feet in front of them and they were taking turns trying to toss copper coins into it and shouting with drunken glee whenever one of them did. 

Glimmer giggled, collapsing into Adora’s side when they ran out of coins. “You know Adora,” she slurred, “The first time I met you, I felt like I couldn’t even breathe.”

Adora gave a low rolling drunken laugh. “You mean when I was saving your after you teleported into that platoon of Horde?” She only laughed harder when she was met with a punch to her arm. Still, she wrapped the berated arm around her as Glimmer put her arms around her middle to return the embrace.

“Shut up, I’m being serious,” she insisted. “When you jumped off of Swift Wind, just.” Glimmer shook her head, feeling her cheeks flush with more than just alcohol. “I thought you were the most beautiful woman I’d ever seen,” she murmured into her shoulder.

The blonde woman blinked feeling her heart beating erratically in her chest. “You… you did?” She asked in a small voice, all of her previous hyperactive energy mellowing. She stared down at her as the smaller woman nodded emphatically. 

“Is it possible to think someone is more beautiful the more you get to know them?”

Her mind attempted to spin off in a million directions, but the alcohol dulled that impulse. It allowed her to lean into her instinct, to act how she wanted without concerning herself with the possible consequences. She slowly traced her fingertips up and down Glimmer’s bare arm, enjoying the feeling of how the tiny hairs seemed to stand on end with every pass. “I know it is,” she replied in a low voice. She grinned when a violet gaze met her own.

“O-oh…” Her blush only seemed to deepen, and she suddenly felt an embarrassed panic rip through her. She squirmed, not sure what to do now.

Adora tipped up her chin and she grew still again, cheeks still burning. She took courage seeing that the blonde woman was also blushing. “Yeah.” A pause dragged on for a little too long before Adora came to herself again. “I. I was talking about you. I-if that wasn’t clear.”

Glimmer giggled at the awkward clarification. “Yeah… I was talking about you, too.” Her heart melted when Adora grinned that stupid wide lopsided grin at her. “I… Adora, can I-”

Before she could even finish, Adora leaned in to smash their lips together in a sloppy uncoordinated kiss in answer to the unasked question. That first kiss only lasted a moment and then they pulled back to search the other’s face for any trace of alarm, resistance, any indication the other didn’t want to continue. When none was given, they grinned, Adora tracing a hand down to the small of her back and using the other to cup her cheek, planting hot open mouth kisses on her’s. Glimmer reached up, her fingers tangling themselves in golden hair, both attempting to bring the other closer. Glimmer tried to bring her lower, and Adora attempted to pull her onto her lap. But the pair of them were so uncoordinated in their inebriated state, they went crashing to the floor, dissolving into raucous laughter. 

That caught the attention of the innkeeper that frowned at them. “Hey,” he called. “If you’re going to be doing that, take it to your rooms.”

They looked up at the admonishment before locking eyes, both feeling frozen.

Adora swallowed thickly, feeling everything in her growing warm before she finally asked, “Do you… would you like to…?”

“Gods yes,” Glimmer replied, taking her face in her hands and kissing her once more before they scrambled to their feet. Adora gripped at her hips as Glimmer began to walk backwards towards the stairs. It was a flurry of grabbing hands, hot kisses, intoxicated giggling as they stumbled up and into one of the rooms they were meant to occupy for the evening. 

Once the door was closed behind them, she took hold of her hips and forced her against the wall, her lips working their way down Glimmer’s neck to a lovely chorus of pleased moans. She held her up with one hand under her thigh, the other solidly around her waist. She felt her blood boiling at her touch, at her kiss. Her heart was threatening to break free of her chest for how hard it was pounding circulating her boiling blood through her body. Every inch of her ached with need and desire. “Glimmer,” she whispered.

“Yes?” She murmured in return.

Adora lightly tugged at the hem of her dress. “Do you want me?” She blinked in surprise when she was answered with laughter.

“I have for months, Adora,” she said, turning to catch her lips with her own. “So what are you waiting for?”

Nothing. No more waiting. There was only need, and desire, and _now_. She grunted pulling up her leg to wrap around her middle. She lifted her, a strong grip on her waist, still kissing her until she set her on the bed. Adora stared down at her… lover, inhaling deeply through her nose before shrugging her way out of her jerkin and pulling her linen shirt up over her head and tossing it aside.  
~~

They overcame their initial drunken awkwardness, sobriety eventually catching up with them as they carried on in a flurry of caresses, kisses, and sweet nothings. To Adora, it was all so familiar but completely different all at the same time. It felt as if tiny pieces of her soul were slowly being knit back together at every shiver inducing touch for having been without for so long. All her previous experiences had been like molten fire, an anchoring center, a feeling of coming home. What she had here with Glimmer was like soothing, healing waters, an untethering, a sense of the unknown. Neither got much sleep that night as they kept at it, over, and over, and over. Finally, the hour caught up with them and the two women laid in a tangled heap in the sheets of their bed. The sun was changing the colors of the walls to a pinkish hue of the morning’s first light, and they were both panting as they attempted to catch their breath. 

Adora’s muscles twitched and quivered under Glimmer’s gentle touch at every shaped curve and dip of her body. “Enjoying yourself?” She chuckled, wrapping an arm around her.

“I’ve been wanting to do this for months. So I’ll have to say yes.” Glimmer grinned up at her, eyes shining brightly. 

Adora smirked and closed her eyes, burying her face in violet locks and let out a deep breath. “Months, huh? What am I to make of that, hm?”

Glimmer continued to explore her body with her fingers, paying special attention to her abdomen. Gods, it was like carved marble. “Whatever you like, I suppose,” she mused, with a shrug. “I’ve… we’ve grown very close in a very short time. I feel like this was almost inevitable.”

She hummed in reply, combing her fingers through her short hair. “What…” She pursed her lips as she tried to gather her thoughts. “What does that make us? To each other? Do you… love me?” There was a pregnant pause when Glimmer’s hand stopped, hovering just above Adora’s hip. Suddenly she felt self conscious for even having mentioned it. “I-I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to-”

“Hush,” she murmured, letting her hand resume it’s journey down her thigh. “It’s alright. I was just thinking.” She felt the tension in Adora’s body release as she continued. “I don’t know,” she said consideringly. “Maybe. I don’t think I’ve ever been in love before.” Glimmer then drew her arms around her waist and laid back fully into her side. “But I know that I care about you deeply. And… I want to make you happy. And would very, _very_ much like for this to continue… if you’ll have me.” She hesitated for a moment. “Do you… love me?”

Adora frowned in thought. She knew what love felt like. Knew the rush, the certainty of it, the excitement. And while this had pieces of that… it was missing the recentering she recalled so vividly. The unmistakable shift of everything she was gearing towards the object of her affection, knowing that that person was the only thing she ever wanted. And while she was certain she felt _something_ for Glimmer… it wasn’t quite love. “I think… I feel much the same as you,” she said finally. “You’re… so wonderful and beautiful, and I can see myself falling in love with you one day. But for now…” She arched an eyebrow at her, a smug expression combing over her features, her hand wandering lower. “I think I just want to make you scream my name again…”

Glimmer gasped at the sensation and melted into her. “Oh, if you insist,” she giggled, leaning in for a kiss.  
~~~

Adora never thought she would have anything close to this sort of relationship again. She never thought she would have any sort of relationship again, if she were being honest. But this sort especially. It was all so new to her. It wasn’t anything like what she’d had with her late fiancee. For once, their feelings for each other were so much more nebulous, ill-defined. But it seemed to work for them. Adora did notice, however, the tight smile and stiff words of congratulations that Bow had given them when they told him. She assumed it was more of him being concerned with their being caught up in another vice and dismissed it. Adora was happy, really, truly happy for the first time in years. And it was all because of Glimmer.

Another month passed, taking special care to search for and root out more Horde as they traveled north to the Kingdom of Snows. It was their one final mission before they were to leave for Brightmoon.

And this one had not gone as seamlessly as the others had.

“Thank you Princess Frosta,” Glimmer said with a bow, her companions following suit. “We’re pleased to have you as a part of the Rebellion.”

“And again,” Adora interjected with a sheepish grin, “I am so sorry about-” She didn’t have a chance to finish as Bow reached up and slapped a hand over her mouth. 

The young princess glared daggers at the impossibly tall woman, gripping tightly at the arm rests of her throne.

Glimmer gave a stilted laugh as she shifted to block them both from view as much as her small frame allowed. “Thank you for extending your hospitality for us to stay and resupply. We’ll take our leave now for the evening,” she said with a final bow before taking hold of her friends and teleporting them to the otherside of the great door that separated the hall from the throne room. She stared up at Adora with an irritated expression. No, not irritated. Livid. “What the fuck Adora?!”

Adora cringed, seeming to shrink under the scrutiny despite being nearly two heads taller than her lover. “I know, I’m sorry, I-”

“I told you not to mention her age!” The princess shouted, cutting her off.

“Yes, but you see, I was expecting-”

“I specifically fucking _warned you_!”

“I know. But it all worked out in the end, so-”

“Weren’t you raised to be a lady of the court?! Do you have _any_ godsdamned tact?!”

Adora’s gaze shifted to Bow who was doing his best to stifle a laugh. “Oh, I bet you’re just _loving_ this, aren’t you?” She grumbled.

He shrugged ambivalently, unable to wipe the grin from his face. “I’m not hating it.”

“Shut up Bow!” Glimmer snapped. She started pacing back and forth muttering to herself. 

Adora and Bow eyed each other for a moment before looking back at her. With an exhale, Adora shifted out of her She-ra form and went to stand in Glimmer’s path. She only winced slightly when the spitfire of a woman glared up at her. “Hey,” she murmured, tracing a hand down her cheek, pleased her resolve was waning. “I truly am sorry,” she nearly whispered. “I promise I’ll be better.”

Glimmer pressed her lips in a tight line, wanting to maintain her rage, but nevertheless let it slowly melt away at her touch. “You’re forgiven,” she muttered before leaning in for a kiss. 

Bow flinched, turning away from the intimate moment. “I’ll go see to our rooms then,” he announced before hurrying off to leave the two women in peace.

Adora sighed heavily, resting her forehead on Glimmer’s shoulder. “So. Two days here, and then off to Brightmoon?”

Glimmer nodded, combing her fingers through her blonde hair. “If all goes according to plan,” she allowed. “More than a month behind schedule,” she sighed heavily. “I am not looking forward to the lecture my mother is going to level at me.”

“Would you feel better if I held your hand through it?” She offered pulling back to flash that goofy grin of hers.

She hummed with a pleasant smile. “It would, actually,” she murmured leaning in for another kiss before she heard clattering footsteps running towards them. They both looked up, startled to see a panicked Bow running towards them.

“Bow? What’s the matter?” Adora asked as he panted heavily, hands on his knees. She separated from Glimmer to put a hand on his back, starting to worry when he didn’t regain his ability to speak, but instead thrusted a rolled parchment up between them. 

Glimmer frowned in confusion, taking the message and noting the seal of Dryl had been broken. She opened it to skim the contents and her eyes widened. “Oh gods,” she whispered.

“What? What is it?” Adora inquired, her anxiety climbing at how ominous it all felt.

“Dryl,” Bow panted. “Horde invasion.” Pant. “Need help.” He sucked in a final deep breath. “Now.”

Adora looked between them with wide eyes. “Fuck. Alright.” She looked back towards the throne room. “Glimmer, you should speak with Frosta about dispatching help. Bow and I will get ready for us to ride ahead of any troops she’s willing to spare.”

The two nodded, and they all dispersed to fulfill their assigned tasks.  
~~~

It would take time for the forces from the Kingdom of Snows to reach Dryl and repeal a whole force occupation of a kingdom, but in the meantime with the help of her friends, She-ra could at the very least rescue Princess Entrapa. They pushed their horses hard, Adora even needing to heal them a time or two to relieve them of their fatigue. When they finally came to the forests outside the castle border, they dismounted. All but Adora, at least.

“I’m going to scout from the skies and report back. We’ll set our plans then.”

It didn’t take long before she had returned and explained how the layout was being guarded, drawing a map in the dirt with a stick. Adora was meticulous in the details of the plan she had laid out, though it was a simple one. Teleport in, find Entrapta, and leave. 

“We clear on the plan?” Adora looked between her friends to see their affirmative nods. “Are we ready?”

Glimmer sucked in a deep breath, feeling her exhaustion setting in. “What choice do we have?” She murmured. “Let’s go.”

Adora and Bow placed a hand on Glimmer’s shoulders before the three disappeared in a cloud of sparkles, appearing much the same way in the courtyard. Adora shouted the battle cry that transformed her into the avatar of the planet’s magic once they did and all three stood prepared for a fight, moving in on the Horde soldiers that stood post.

Bow looked up and saw a soldier sprinting towards a bell to alert the rest of the Keep and quickly drew his longbow and let his arrow fly, striking them in the leg. He then ran towards the bell himself to cut the rope so no one else could sound the alarm.

Glimmer smirked once surrounded by five or so combatants, and she disappeared and reappeared behind each of them in sequence, blasting each with a pulsing magenta energy upon each appearance. She cackled maniacally with every blast, then spinning around to bash another’s head with the head of her staff.

Adora smirked at her lover’s glee at just dispensing utter chaos. She couldn’t help but laugh with a shake of her head even as she engaged her own opponents with both her swords drawn. It didn’t take long to cut him down, even as she laughed. Adora turned to survey the battle field and nodded. “Hold them off,” she called to her friends, “I’m going to find Princess Entrapta!” She only started to run off when they called out their agreement, and easily fought her way into the palace proper. 

It didn’t take long before she found herself in the throne room, shifting the Sword of Protection into a shield. She stepped cautiously as she watched her surroundings, minding the shadows. “Princess Entrapta?” She called out, eyes constantly shifting. “We got your message. We’re here to liberate Dryl. Where are you?” She felt an icy chill run down her spine at a familiar laugh that she not only never thought she would hear again, but it was… _wrong_. 

“Hello, Adora.”

She slowly turned towards the throne and felt her heart drop into her stomach at the sight. “C-Catra?” She managed to choke out.

There she was, lounging casually on the throne that belonged to another. The magicat’s tail lazily lashing back and forth, elbow on the armrest, chin in hand. The armor she wore was burnished in black with glow red runes etched into the metal’s surface. Time had done its work in wearing the lines of her face, her once long wild mane was shorn and slicked back close to her head making her ears look more prominent than she recalled, a somehow emotionless smile plastered on her face, and her eyes… they were not the gemstone heterochromic aqua and gold she remembered, but a dull glowing red.

Adora felt her hands begin to shake. “What did they do to you?” she whimpered.

“Tcht.” Adora winced at the sound as Catra rose to her feet, drawing her great sword. “They’ve given me what I always wanted. Respect, position, a command.” She hummed looking around the throne room, an unmistakable hollowness to her expression. “Even a kingdom of my own.” Her red eyes settled on Adora again and she cocked her head to the side as she studied her. “That's what it would take to keep you now, right? That’s why you left me at Castle Fright to go to Grayskull? Well, the whole kingdom of Dryl is mine. Am I enough for you now, Adora?”

Blue eyes stared up in horror slowly shaking her head, taking steps backwards as Catra advanced. “N-No… I-I thought you were dead. They told me you were dead!” She screamed.

“I suppose it’s true in a way,” the magicat mused, studying the claws on her left hand absently. “I never really was the same after you left me that day.”

“No! I didn’t leave you! I-I tried to come back, to save you! But Scorpia, she’d said that Shadow Weaver-” She swallowed thickly, her grip tightening on her blade. 

Catra hummed, both hands gripping her great sword. “You tried… but like always. You fall short. You were never enough. Were you, Adora?” 

She gasped, jumping back as Catra’s blade came down, barely missed her. She dropped her short sword, the Sword of Protection shifting back into its original form of a claymore blade to block Catra’s sword that had come down on her. She gritted her teeth as they struggled there for a moment, tears filling her eyes as she looked into Catra’s face. Adora inhaled sharply when the glowing red seemed to falter. For just a moment, her eyes locked with that familiar sapphire and amber gaze. A look of concentration seemed to cross the brunette’s face before the glowing returned along with a wicked smirk. A black gauntleted fist came up to make contact with Adora’s face breaking them apart.

Adora cried out, hurrying to recover before Catra came at her again, lashing out with her blade, her elbow, her feet, her claws. Any bit of her that could be used to attack Adora, she did. “Catra! I know you’re in there! You have to fight this!”

“Why would I do that?” She mused, circling her like prey. “Nearly everything I ever wanted is mine. All that’s left is for you to come home to me.” The blonde woman froze when Catra invaded her personal space, a clawed finger tracing down her jawline. “I’m willing to forgive and forget. We could stay here, you know. Dryl could be ours to rule together. All you have to do is surrender to Commander Weaver. She’s missed you dearly, you know.”

The name jolted Adora out of her vacant stare and she grabbed her wrist. “Do you hear yourself?! You hate Weaver! After everything she’s done to you! To us!” She grabbed at her gorget and shook her. “Snap out of it Catra! I don’t want to hurt you!” She recoiled at twisted mad laughter that was both familiar and so alien at the same time, her stomach convulsing at the sound.

“Oh Adora… You have already hurt me.” She leaned in dangerously close. “You broke my heart when you abandoned me and everything we’d worked for, everything we dreamed of. Betrayed our friends, our home, and our country.” She pulled back, breaking free of Adora’s grip on her armor. “But it’s not too late, my love. We can set it all right again. All you have to do is come home with me.” Her eyes seemed to fade out again as she struggled and Adora gasped noticing the runes faded as well when they did.

That was it! It was the armor that was controlling her! Adora swallowed thickly before holding up her blade in the guard position. “I’m sorry Catra,” she murmured before advancing with a battle cry. Her blow was easily blocked, and they fell into a rhythmic pattern of attack and block, dodge and advance, parry and riposte. It felt so familiar, like they were back at Castle Fright training for their next campaign. But this wasn’t training, and these weren’t practice blades. And while Adora was only aiming to damage the runes on Catra’s armor, her lost love seemed intent on causing actual damage.

Finally! An opening! Adora lunged forward, attempting to slash her blade across the glowing Horde symbol on her breastplate and feeling a thrill of hope when she hit her mark. The glowing red sputtered and Catra sank to her knees, gripping at her hair as she seemed to fight off the compulsion on her mind. That same unnerving laughter rasped from her throat as she struggled with herself.

“A-Adora?” She whispered brokenly, tears streaming from her gemstone eyes.

Adora tossed her sword aside, dropping to her knees before Catra, taking her face in her hands. “I’m here,” she replied fervently. “I’m here, and I’m never leaving you again.”

The magicat’s breathing grew heavy, her eyes darting around the room feverishly. “P-promise?"

"I promise," she exclaimed through gritted teeth.

Catra sucked in a pained breath as she winced "I can’t stop it, I’ve been fighting for so long, I don’t know if I can-” She gasped, the crimson glow over taking her again, and a claw lashing out, rending the metal of Adora’ breastplate. 

She gasped when it cut through to her flesh, and lunged to grapple her, trying to take hold of her wrists. “Come on Catra! You’ve never listened to anyone in your life! Are you really going to start now?!”

Catra’s sickening grin returned along with her bone chilling laughter, the glow flickering in and out. “You’re such an idiot…”

“Yeah,” she sobbed amidst a hopeful laugh. “I know.” She held her wrists tightly, searching her face, hoping against hope that she would break free of this spell. “Catra… please…” Adora whimpered. “Please come back to me…” She bit her lip, frantically trying to think. Then suddenly inspiration hit. She pulled off her diadem that framed her face and drove the pointed wing down into Catra’s breastplate and slashed open the steel. 

Catra gasped in agony, sitting bolt upright. As the glow faded, blood started to trickle from her nose, her ears, the corner of her lips. “The spell…” she rasped against the tang of blood filling her mouth. “It had a fail safe,” she wheezed, gripping at Adora’s hands. She swallowed thickly, meeting her gaze. “Gods, you’re so beautiful,” she whispered.

Adora’s eyes widened in horror as her head lulled to the side, her body going limp. “Catra, no! No, no, no! No!” She looked around frantically watching as Horde soldiers filed in, weapons at the ready. Her jaw set in determination as she snatched up her short sword to sheath at her side and slung Catra haphazardly over her broad shoulder. Her eyes shone in a faint blue light, the Sword of Protection flew into her open waiting hand and she began her push out of the castle. A rage similar to that day at Castle Fright seemed to take hold of her, and at her furious attacks it was almost as if soldiers fell at her mere glare as magic radiated from her being. She lost count of how many people she killed on her way back to the courtyard.

“Adora, duck!” Bow shouted, leveling an arrow right at her. Clutching Catra tightly, she dropped to the floor and Bow loosed his arrow through the helmet visor of her pursuer.

Adora scrambled to her feet, clutching Catra to her chest. “Bow! Where’s Glimmer? We have to go! _Now!_ ”

As if her question summoned her, Glimmer appeared with another woman with long orchid colored hair beside her. “I’ve got Entrapta!”

The young fighters ran to meet, everyone taking hold of Glimmer before she teleported them all to safety.  
~

Adora sank to her knees when they appeared in the forest clearing where they had left Swift Wind, and carefully traced a hand down the face of the woman she held. “Come on, Catra,” she whispered. “You’re not done. Not yet.” She pressed their foreheads together and she breathed in deeply. A yellow glowing light sparked from the gemstone affixed in the Sword of Protection that took the form of a bracer on her left arm. Slowly the light began to envelop the whole of Adora’s body, then Catra’s as it hummed and shone brightly.

Glimmer and Bow took a step back in shock and amazement at what they were witnessing. Entrapta glanced between the pair beside her and the pair on the ground. “What’s happening?” She whispered to them.

“I… I don’t know,” Bow muttered in confusion.

Glimmer frowned in concentration, sensing a familiarity in the magic. “I think she’s… healing her.”

“Fascinating,” the orchid haired woman mused, pulling out a small pad of paper and a graphite stick, scribbling furiously. 

Adora didn’t even notice the others, and if she had, she would’ve ignored them. All that mattered now was Catra and pouring all of her energy into healing her. She expended so much of her energy that her She-ra form slipped away entirely, leaving her panting as she sat in her typical red jerkin and white linen shirt. She stared down at Catra expectantly, hoping, praying. 

A heartbeat passed.

Two heartbeats.

Three.

Tears welled up in Adora’s eyes and she sucked in a broken gasp, dread sinking into her stomach. But then.

Catra turned her head away and coughed almost violently, taking in labored breaths. She relaxed back into the strong arms that held her and slowly turned to look up at her savior, ear pressing against her middle. Her lids fell half shut, the unmistakable mark of affection in them, along with an accompanying fanged smile. “Hey, Adora,” she breathed.

The standing tears in Adora’s blue eyes fell, this time in joy and relief as she clutched Catra tightly, hugging her to her chest as she cried into her shoulder.

Catra was only taken aback for a moment before hugging her back as tightly as her aching muscles allowed, a rolling purr vibrating from deep in her chest. When they finally separated, Catra traced a hand down her cheek and tenderly pressed their lips together. For only a moment did Adora sit frozen at the kiss before she carefully returned it.

Bow’s eyes widened in shock at the open display of affection with this stranger before turning to his friend that stood beside him.

Glimmer stared with a blank expression, her fists clenching at her sides. With a huff, she turned away from the pair. “I’ll go gather firewood,” she muttered before teleporting away.

Bow swallowed thickly turning to look back at the two women on the ground, his gut twisting. 

This wouldn’t end well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think... one of the greatest joys of being a writer and letting other people read your work.... is watching their reactions. Doesn't -really- matter what their reaction is... joy, sadness, rage... or some combination of the three. Just knowing that your abstract thoughts and ideas conveyed through scribbles on a metal box powered by lightning magic could reach another human person and make them -feel- something. It's kind of the best thing ever.
> 
> Anyway. 
> 
> 8D Hi.
> 
> I hope this longer and more quickly uploaded chapter makes up for my long absence last time. Hopefully now that I'm at the part I'm super jazzed about writing, it'll come at more of an even keel now.
> 
> Also, thank [lowsart](https://ko-fi.com/lowsart) for their awesome [art](https://lowsart.tumblr.com/post/635147912379351040/buy-low-a-coffee-ko-ficomlowsart)! It was just a ko-fi request so I couldn't get super detailed with the ask, but I really like it either way.
> 
> Kudos and ~~even rage~~ comments are life-giving <3
> 
> ps. plzplzplzreadthenewtagiaddedplz
> 
> Here's my [twitter](https://twitter.com/xtitan_1) and my [tumblr](https://scorchflamedancer.tumblr.com/). Hit me up if you like. I love talking to people about this fic, Catradora, or just spop in general.


	13. Everything Changes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Catra felt her insides twist and clench as Adora spoke, held captive by her eyes. “And what about Glimmer?”
> 
> “What about Glimmer?” She murmured kissing along her knuckles again before the hand was pulled out of her grasp.
> 
> “Glimmer. The woman you’re with. Your lover. Are you still with her?” She clenched her fists at her side, giving her a hard stare.
> 
> Adora blinked as her. “I…”
> 
> “You are, aren’t you?” She shook her head moving to get off the bed. “You can’t do this to me, Adora,” she pressed trying to keep her voice from cracking. “You have to go.”
> 
> “What? Do what? Catra, no! Don’t send me away, please…”
> 
> She shook her head. “You can’t be with Glimmer and try and pull me in this way!” She sucked in a deep breath. “You can’t play with my heart like this!”
> 
> Adora moved to her knees on the bed. “No Catra, please. I just… I miss you. I want-”
> 
> “It doesn’t matter if you miss me! _We aren’t together_!” She shouted desperately before she shook her head. “Damnit, Adora. Do you love Glimmer?”
> 
> The question stopped her in her tracks, her eyes widening. “I… I don’t… We’re…” She swallowed thickly. “It’s… complicated.”
> 
> “Complicated,” Catra repeated.

Adora pulled back from the kiss, her eyes still swimming with tears. “Catra,” she whimpered, holding her face with her hand. “You’re here…”

The magicat gave that raspy laugh of her’s. “I told you nothing could keep me away from you. Sorry I took so long."

The blonde sobbed a laugh shaking her head, resting her forehead to her’s. “Gods… I… I never thought I’d see you again. I can’t believe it. It’s really you.”

“What’s left of me anyways,” she murmured despite her rolling pur. It cut off abruptly and Adora felt her tense as her expression contorted in pain and she started to claw at herself, the runes flaring for only a second on her armor.

She sat up straight and alert. “What? What is it?”

“Take it off,” she hissed, fumbling with the straps.

Adora immediately understood and took hold of the gaping hole in the breast plate rending it apart with her bare hands. She quickly worked to remove the armor bit by bit, both women relaxing with every piece discarded. Finally, all that was left was Catra’s black gambison, deep maroon linen shirt beneath it, and gray trousers. They both seemed to let out a breath in relief. They met each other’s gazes with warm smiles. “I missed you,” she whispered.

“I missed you too.” Catra’s eyes were so full of affection as she looked at her before she leaned in as if to kiss her again.

“Sweetheart?” 

Adora’s head snapped up to see Glimmer with an arm load of firewood. “Y-yes?” She answered weakly, wincing. She didn’t need to look at Catra to know those mismatched eyes were on her. 

Glimmer jerked her head towards Entrapta and Bow that had stepped away to give them more privacy. “We should set up camp for the night.”

“R-right.” She chewed on her lip

Catra’s heterochromatic gaze flitted back and forth between the two women as the reality of the situation sunk in. Of course. She thought she was dead. She remembered that from their altercation earlier. She closed her eyes to steady herself against the onslaught of emotion that raged in her. Adora had moved on. She felt the steady glare of the bright haired woman and shifted away from her childhood friend, turning away from them.

“Adora, could you help me?”

Adora swallowed thickly and nodded. “Of course. I’ll be there in a moment.” She turned to Catra when Glimmer walked off. “Catra, I-”

“It’s alright. Go. You have responsibilities.” She gave her a tight smile, but Adora knew better.

“I really think we should talk about-”

“Adora?”

She winced when Glimmer called for her again.

Catra let out a deep breath, putting a hand over her’s. “I’m not going anywhere.”

She chewed on her lip as she debated with herself. “Promise?”

The magicat gently squeezed her hand. “I promise.” She smiled weakly. “Go.”

With a careful nod, she rose to her feet and went to assist Glimmer. “What do you need?”

Glimmer was tense at her voice. “Who is she?” She murmured.

Adora let out a deep breath. “Catra. She was the one I told you about. My… fiancee.” She swallowed thickly as her mind began to spin out.

“I thought you’d said she was…”

“She was. I mean. I thought she was. That’s what I was told when I went to…” 

Glimmer looked up to see her expression twisting in confusion and agony. She let out a quiet breath reaching up to trace her cheek. “Are you alright? I can’t imagine this is easy for you. Someone coming back from the dead.”

She sucked in a deep breath. “I don’t know,” she whispered. 

“Would a drink help?” Adora gave a single nod and closed her eyes when Glimmer planted a kiss on her cheek. “Go get it then. Settle in for the night.”

Adora glanced over to see Catra seeming to eye the surrounding woods. She knew that look, that posture. She wanted to run. “No, I can’t. We need to talk,” she murmured, taking half a step towards the magicat, only stopping at the tug on her wrist. She looked back at Glimmer, her expression twisted in confusion and indecision.

“You’ll have plenty of chances to talk later. Look at you. You’re worn out. You used so much magic She-ra slipped away without meaning to. Please sweetheart. Rest.”

She chewed on her lip for a moment before looking back and seeing Catra had disappeared. Her heart rate spiked in her absence and she could hear its beating pulsing in her ears. “No, Glimmer-”

“She just climbed a tree, Adora. She hasn’t left.”

Blue eyes flicked up to confirm that, seeing the brunette reclined against the trunk. Her tail was swishing in what she knew was nervous energy. Adora let out a breath, satisfied that she would keep her promise. “Alright… I’ll have that drink now.”

Bow, Glimmer, and Adora went about setting up camp for the night, Entrapta sitting in front of the fire scribbling in that journal of her’s while she muttered to herself. 

Catra watched Adora from her place in the tree as she went about her usual chores. She flinched when those ocean blue eyes repeatedly flicked her way to be sure she hadn’t left. No matter how much she wanted to run, she was determined to stay put. But the distance from the party was what she needed right now. Especially when the violet haired woman shot her wary glances. Gods, what a mess. What was she going to do now? Who were these people Adora was traveling with? She flexed her hand, feeling her claws extend and retract repeatedly as she did. Catra’s ears twitched, catching brief snippets of the conversations on the ground. Words and phrases like ‘Horde’ and ‘can she be trusted’, ‘Brightmoon’ and ‘I trust her’. She let out a deep breath closing her eyes in an attempt to shut them all out.

“Catra?” 

The magicat opened her eyes and looked down to see Adora standing at the foot of the tree. “Yes, princess?” She attempted to disguise her discomfort with the situation with a wry smile, her fangs prominent in it.

“We have dinner… I’m sure you’re hungry after all of…” She struggled with herself for a moment, trying to find the words. Thankfully, Catra spared her the need by jumping from her perch, landing gracefully near her.

“I could eat.” Though after a beat, she frowned when Adora didn’t move. Catra arched an eyebrow seeing her mind churning up a storm. “Are you alright?”

“I…” She swallowed thickly, averting her eyes. “I don’t know,” she whispered.

Catra smiled weakly, taking her hand and giving it a gentle squeeze. “Well, it’s going to be,” she assured her. “Trust me.”

Adora seemed to let out a breath she’d been holding and nodded. “I do.” Her face fell just a touch when Catra dropped her hand and began walking towards the camp. She swallowed thickly before following after her.

The brunette looked around seeing only the shorter woman. “What happened to the other two?” She murmured in question.

Glimmer glanced up at her with an arched eyebrow. “Bow and Princess Entrapta went to meet the contingency from the Kingdom of Snows. Bow will be returning to us while we’re on the road sometime in the next day or so.”

Catra nodded in acknowledgement. She still didn’t have much of an idea of who these people were or what was going on, but Adora seemed at ease with them. That was good enough for her. 

Adora hurriedly made her way over and handed her a plate of their quickly prepared meal before going to sit in the space between both Glimmer and Catra. She couldn’t eat herself if she wanted, so instead she sipped at her flask letting the amber liquid inside soothe her nerves.

Awkward silence filled the air before Catra finally broke it between bites.

“So. How did you two meet?”

Glimmer shrugged, pushing the food around on her plate. “The usual damsel in distress story. Bow and I found ourselves among a platoon of Horde soldiers, and this beautiful goddess descends from the heavens to save our skins.” She smiled wryly. “We’ve been traveling together ever since.” She glanced over at Adora. “Damsels have a bad habit of being overly clingy, as we’ve discovered.”

Adora chuckled, cheeks growing pink at her description of their first meeting. “Perhaps. But it isn’t unwelcome.”

Catra hummed softly, eyeing her childhood friend. “Sounds like you.”

Glimmer couldn’t help but note the undeniable affection in the other woman’s words, in the way she looked at Adora. There was something just behind those gemstone eyes that unsettled her. Perhaps it was the fact she was the dead come to life. It could’ve been that she was a former Horde soldier. Maybe it was just because she’d only ever had a close encounter with a magicat once before, and it was a traumatic experience. Nevertheless, this person that had unceremoniously crashed into their lives left her ill at ease. “I suppose then I’m just lucky I haven’t over stayed that welcome.”

“Oh, she’d throw punches if you were unwelcome,” Catra answered casually, smirking all the while.

Adora tsked, rounding on her. “That was only the one time!”

“And Kyle never forgot it,” she cackled in that raspy laugh of her’s. “That poor bastard.”

“I was twelve! You can’t hold that against me forever!”

“I can and I will,” she said, setting her half eaten plate aside and crossing her arms. “Nevermind that time you kicked Octavia.”

“Oh, so now you’re going to throw that at me. I was defending _you_!” Adora tried to maintain an annoyed expression, but her cheeks were starting to ache from trying to keep from smiling. 

“Eh, she deserved it anyway.” Catra reclined on her palms. “She also deserved to have her things stolen.”

“Did she ever find where we’d hidden them?” Her eyes sparked in curiosity.

Catra snorted. “I imagine not, considering where we buried it.”

Glimmer’s gaze shifted between the two in quiet observation. 

The magicat noted she was being watched and smirked. “We were hellions as children.”

Adora chuckled. “In that aspect, I haven’t changed much.”

Catra smiled, feeling her chest warm at the thought. “That’s good to hear. I don’t like the idea of changing.”

The blonde’s expression grew tight and her eyes shifted to stare into the fire. “Some things have.”

“Well yes, you apparently turn into an eight-foot tall warrior goddess these days,” she chuckled. “That’s certainly a change.”

Glimmer stiffened, her shoulders squaring off. Was Catra really that oblivious? Couldn't she see that she was upsetting Adora? “And so has most everything else,” she retorted in a clipped tone. She tried and failed miserably to keep the bitterness out of her voice. Memories flooded her of how Adora had been before she’d warmed up to her and Bow. How bitter and miserable she had been, how hurt and lost she was. And even after, with all the nights she’d held her as she cried over the magicat. Now here was Catra pretending as if none of that had happened, assuming the pair could just pick up where they’d left off and damn the consequences. She didn’t know Adora anymore, what she’d been through in her absence. It felt like a slap in the face that she would pretend she did. Everything had changed, and here she was taking their little trips down memory lane as if that wiped out all of the tragedy Adora had faced.

Catra frowned, more than a little startled by the unprovoked outrage. “I apologize if I offended you…” She reached for a name, and nodded when the violet haired woman uttered it. “Glimmer. I didn’t mean any harm.”

“I’m sure you didn’t,” she said brusquely. 

Adora tensed glancing back and forth between the two of them. “Perhaps… we should sleep. We have a long journey to Brightmoon yet.”

“What?” Heterochromatic eyes blinked at her.

“Glimmer and Bow had a mission that we recently completed. We need to go back to report in.”

Catra nodded slowly as she processed that. Adora was with the Rebellion now. It made sense. Especially with her learned connections to their ally, Castle Grayskull. “That. Might be a problem for me.” She gave a sardonic smile. “Former Horde soldier and all.”

“Knowing them,” Glimmer cut in, “They probably wouldn’t take too kindly to your lot, Horde or no.”

Catra’s ears laid back at the comment, eyes narrowing. “I’m sorry, what?” She snapped.

“What with you being a magicat and all.”

Adora glared at Glimmer. “She’s been hurt by the Horde, same as me. That makes her one of us, regardless of what you think.”

Glimmer’s gaze rose to meet Adora’s ocean blue eyes. “I don’t know about you sweetheart, but I have never taken up arms against good and innocent people. I doubt any soldier of the Horde could say the same. And for how many of those good people having lost loved ones to people like her in service to the Horde, no. I’d venture to say she is in fact _not_ one of us.” She’d heard too many stories of slaughter and destruction as the Horde sought nothing less than absolutely control of every known land, not to mention her own loss. All at the hands of people like this woman.

Catra clenched her jaw and fists, glaring at her. She jumped to her feet. “Hey, Sparkles, if you have a problem with me, say it to my face rather than these pseudo-veiled comments.”

She didn’t rise to her challenge, the corner of her mouth pulling into a smirk. “You’re just Horde scum playing turn coat. Of course I have a problem with you. But that has nothing to do with this. I’m merely stating that my people won’t take too kindly to someone like you.” She shrugged casually. “Can you honestly tell me you haven’t fought for the Horde? Haven’t murdered for them? Because if you haven’t, if you’ve never shed a drop of innocent blood, then by all means. Come to Brightmoon. See how they’ll react.” She arched an eyebrow at her. “I’m not looking to start this fight you so desperately seem to be looking for. I’m just stating the facts of the situation.”

“I’ll fight you right now,” she hissed.

“Catra!” Adora rose to her feet, her eyes flashing briefly. “Glimmer, that’s enough!” She shouted.

Her expression darkened and she stood. “Adora, I’m happy you found someone you thought you’d lost and are able to have this little reunion. Truly, I am. I’m so thrilled for you that you’ve found a piece of your past that can still make you smile. But this is the reality of the situation. You aren’t thinking clearly of what the implications are of taking her to Brightmoon.” She gestured wildly towards her. “You’re She-ra now! You’re what we’ve all been waiting for to finally turn the tide of the war! But they won’t trust you if you bring someone into their homeland that they have every reason to fear!” She met her eyes without flinching despite the rage behind that blue ocean. “You’re too close to this to see things clearly. Bringing a Horde soldier to Brightmoon, no matter who she might be to you, is foolish. And more than a little callous to those that have been hurt by her and those like her.” She turned away from her and gathered up her bedroll from nearby. “I won’t be far,” she said softly before teleporting away.

Adora stood in numb silence as she stared at the spot Glimmer had just been standing in. She swallowed thickly. “Her… father was killed by a Horde soldier right in front of her,” she said quietly in her defense. “I’m so sorry Catra, that was…” She cringed, unable to find the right words to try and make up for that outburst.

Catra glared at the ground, running her tongue along her pointed teeth. Her fists were clenched so tight she was shaking slightly for the tension running up her arms. “If only that was all I had endured, I would happily trade places with her,” she spat.

She swallowed thickly. “I’m sorry Catra. You didn’t deserve that. Any of that.”

The magicat huffed dropping to sit again, arms crossed over her chest as her tail lashed to and fro. “So you’ll be leaving then,” she murmured finally.

Adora stared at her, dumbstruck. “I’m not leaving without you.”

She snorted. “Sparkles seems to think you should.”

She grunted holding her face in her hands. “I want to kick her. Both of you, actually,” she muttered.

Catra shrugged casually. “She started it.”

Blue eyes narrowed as she dropped her hands and she wandered over to stand in front of her. “Really? Really.” She might just kick her here and now for that alone.

She looked up at her with a forlorn expression. “Perhaps I should just leave,” she sighed. “It would be easier that way.”

“For who?” She grunted. “And what if you did? Where would you even go?” She eyed her critically. “What would you even do?”

A shrug. “Who knows. I’m not quite sure it matters at this point. I’m no use to you or your cause. I’m considered a traitor to a country I loathe, I have never had any family to speak of. I’m the nightmare your people tell their children is coming for them. Even if I did join your Rebellion, they would spit on my hand as I reached out to them. Much like Glimmer,” she sighed scrubbing a hand through her cropped hair.

“Just answer the question,” Adora muttered.

“I don’t know. Wander? Head towards Half Moon maybe?” She shook her head, clearly not enthusiastic with the idea. 

“Then we won’t separate,” she said, settling to sit before her.

“What does it matter what I do, Adora? I can take care of myself. Glimmer’s right. No one in Brightmoon will want anything to do with a Horde soldier with two campaigns under their belt.” She stared down at her feet. “With blood on their hands.” She looked up to meet her gaze, gemstone eyes haunted by the things they’d seen.

“Why does it matter?” She repeated with a frown, taking her hands in her own and squeezing them. “Because you matter to _me_.” She watched Catra swallow thickly, tears pooling in her eyes. “You’ve been away from me for almost five years,” she whispered. “I never thought I would see you again. You’re still my best friend. And we were…” She trailed off for a moment, sucking in a shuddering breath. “And now that you’re here, I’m not letting you go. Understand?”

Her eyes seemed to grow more dreary. “And what of Glimmer?” she asked softly. “I see the way she looks at you. You expect to be happy with her with the… phantasm of what we were staring back at you?”

Adora’s face contorted as her mind spun off into a million directions and she inhaled deeply. “I don’t know, I just…” She shook her head moving to get to her feet. “I need a drink,” she muttered, going to scoop up her flask and downing it all in one go.

Catra watched her silently, swallowing thickly. “Maybe she had the right idea. Today has been… difficult. Perhaps we should sleep.” She stood and started towards the tree she had climbed earlier.

“Where are you going?”

Her ear twitched and she turned to look at her. “Erm. To sleep?”

“There’s room by the fire,” Adora said softly, eyes hopeful.

Catra’s tail swished as she considered, but finally she nodded. “Alright,” she agreed, moving to curl up near the fire. She let out a heaving sigh lying her head on her arm. She ignored the sound of Adora shifting and the rustling of blankets until she felt one laid gently over her. She looked up to see that Adora had moved her bedroll so that the foot of it rested near her back. The two shared a small smile before they settled. 

Adora let out a deep breath before relaxing back against her pillow. The sounds of the fire and the night creatures filling the silence. But then she heard something unexpected. A low rolling purr. She felt happy tears prick her eyes as she just listened for a moment.

“Goodnight Catra,” Adora whispered.

~~

Again. 

It came again as it did every night. 

The witch placed a curse on her that seemed like it could never be broken. 

Catra grunted, gritting her teeth as the nightmare memory played in her mind over and over on a vicious and unrelenting loop. Another layer of her torture that apparently still touched her despite being free of that retched armor. She’d hoped against hope that it all ended when Adora freed her. But it wasn’t so.

Her breathing quickened every time the nightmare reached its climax, but finally it became too much. She sat up straight with a shout looking around, confused by her surroundings. 

“Catra!”

She jumped again, turning to the disembodied voice ready for a fight.

“Catra,” repeated the voice, more softly this time, a hand taking her wrist. “It’s me… it’s just me. It’s alright. I’m here.”

Amber and sapphire eyes blinked away their blurred vision before the image of Adora sitting before her became clear. “Adora,” she whispered in a shaking voice. The blonde woman’s hand reached up to smooth her tousled hair. 

“Yeah. It’s me, I’m here,” she whispered with a weak smile.

Catra sniffed, fighting heaving breaths. It was all so overwhelming. No one had ever been there to comfort her in the throes of her nightmares before. Especially this one. It took only a moment before she threw her arms around the other woman and let herself cry. With retracted claws, her fingers dug lightly into the back of her tunic, burying her face into her shoulder as she sobbed. She was here. Adora was flesh and bone and in her arms. It wasn’t just a fantasy.

Adora gritted her teeth against the tears holding her tightly. “I’m here. I have you. It’s alright. It was just a dream.”

Oh, if only it was just a dream. She swallowed thickly attempting to get herself under control. She cracked open her eyes to see the form of Glimmer walking through a line of trees towards them. Quickly, Catra pulled back and scrubbed at the tears in her eyes and looked away. “Sorry. I’m alright.”

Adora eyed her cautiously. “Are you sure?”

Catra nodded before climbing to her feet. “Yeah. Just. I need a moment.” She turned away but paused just long enough to say, “Thank you.”

“Of course.” Adora watched her nod before she walked away. With a heavy sigh, Adora combed her fingers through her undercut.

“Sweetheart?” 

Adora turned to see Glimmer standing before her with her bedroll tucked under her arm. She studied her placid expression and sighed. “You’re angry with me,” she observed, climbing to her feet.

She shook her head, dropping her roll and crossing her arms. “No. But you’re clearly angry with me.”

She tsked. “Of course I am. You were a complete ass to her and then you walked out. What do you expect?”

“If you wanted me to stay, all you had to do was say so.” Her stony expressions softened into one of concern.

“Not when you’re being an asshole I wouldn’t.” Adora put her hands on her hips letting her gaze fall to her feet. “Look. I understand the Horde has hurt you. And you have every right to those feelings. But I was too, remember? And so was Catra.” She raised her eyes to meet her. “She’s someone I care about and respect. I need you to stop this.”

Glimmer nodded slowly. “I can do that. For you. But sweetheart… the venom aside, people like her… They won’t receive her with open arms in Brightmoon. I need _you_ to understand that.” She sighed massaging her forehead. “You may be used to her, but me, my mother, others the Horde has hurt… they won’t be so quick to trust as you are. I need you to accept that they won’t understand her.”

“I was in the Horde too,” Adora reminded her gently. “I was a lieutenant in the militia at Castle Fright and was heir to be the Lady Commander there. You can’t attack her for being something I was too.” She frowned when Glimmer shook her head.

“You never went on a campaign. You left before you could’ve inflicted any harm. And besides, you’re She-ra. You’ve spent the last five years fighting them. Where she has been in their service up until yesterday.”

“She was under some sort of mind compulsion! Probably for as long as I’ve been She-ra!”

“Tell that to the family’s of the people she probably killed while under that compulsion. They won’t see it that way.”

Adora closed her eyes and let out a deep breath as she gathered her thoughts. “I’m not worried about Brightmoon. Truly. I’m not.” She opened her eyes and smirked at the woman in front of her. “So long as you have my back, everything will be alright.” She eyed her for a moment. “Catra’s as well. Please. I need to know I can count on you if things start going sideways.”

Glimmer let out a bedraggled sigh. “Of course I have your back. It’s just.” She pressed her lips in a line for a moment as she attempted to gather her thoughts. “I don’t trust her not to hurt you again. She hasn’t been with us even a whole day and look at the state you’re in.” She took a step forward to take her hand. “But you know I’ll do anything you ask of me.”

“Thank you,” she whispered leaning in to press her lips to Glimmer’s forehead. 

“No need to thank me,” she chuckled, squeezing her hand. “Now come on. It’s best we get on the road. We’ve got a long way to go yet.”

Adora nodded going over to the fire to stomp out what remained of the coals. “Where’s our first stop?”

“Colonia. We should be there by tomorrow evening. Hopefully Bow will catch up with us before we arrive.”

Adora nodded again before moving on to pack everything else up.

~~

Their day of travel was relatively uneventful. Catra refused to ride behind Adora on Swift Wind, insisting that her stride could keep up with both horses. Over time though, this proved to be inaccurate. Instead, Glimmer rode behind Adora, and Catra took Glimmer’s horse. Once that was done, they kept a good pace. Occasionally Adora would try and spark up a conversation with the two other women, but both seemed uninterested in engaging as they cast side eyed glances to one another. 

It was painful, really. Here Adora was with two of the most important people in the world to her, and they were already at each other’s throats. She couldn’t stand it. She didn’t know what to do. She-

_She-ra._

_“What?”_ Adora thought to the steed beneath her, glancing down at him.

 _You have her back,_ he reminded her kindly. _Don’t ruin this with your over thinking. I know you’re confused. But honestly, just try and enjoy her presence. I know how terribly you’ve missed her. Remember; she’s alive. And you have plenty of time to work out any issues that may come up. Breathe._

Adora slowly took in a deep breath before letting it out. “Thanks,” she murmured reaching forward to rub his neck.

_You’re welcome._

They broke camp for the night, expecting to be at the next town by tomorrow. And while they hadn’t done much other than ride, with the emotional tension in the air, they were all exhausted. This time in the absence of Bow, Catra assisted in setting up camp for the night.

“Could you get the flint and tinder from my saddle bag?” Adora called to her as she set the logs in place for a fire.

With a nod, the magicat jogged over to Swift Wind where the bags sat on the ground beside the removed saddle. But something caught her eye. She frowned at the vaguely familiar blade. No. It couldn’t be. She took hold of the scabbard and unsheathed it, looking for the maker’s mark. She froze when she found it. Her eyes weren’t playing tricks on her. This was the very blade she’d given her when they were only teenagers. When she pledged herself to Adora. Her throat grew thick with emotion. What did that even mean? Her keeping this?

“Catra?” 

She hastily sheathed the sword and set about her assigned task. Once she found the flint and tinder, she let her gaze linger on the sword for a moment longer before jogging over. “Sorry about that,” she murmured.

“It’s no trouble,” Adora answered with a smile setting up to spark the fire to life. “What were you looking at anyway?”

“Ah-oh. Um. Nothing. Just… just your sword.”

Adora glanced up at her, their eyes meeting.

“Oh, that old thing?” Glimmer interjected, both women’s attention snapping towards her. “She’s obsessed with it,” she teased as she sorted through their rations for the night’s dinner. “Always sharpening it and polishing it, even if she’s not even used it that day. I swear, she treats that thing better than herself.”

Catra smirked, arching an eyebrow at the blushing blonde. “Do you now?” Her tone was thick with mischief. “How… sentimental of you.”

Adora glared up at her. “Shut up,” she grunted, elbowing at her thigh that was in reach. But that earned a playful kick in return. They locked eyes for a moment before Adora lunged at her and they began roughhousing the way they had when they were younger, laughing and hurling insults at one another.

Glimmer stood by uncomfortable at the scene, not comprehending what was happening in front of her. Catra had Adora pinned to the ground, their laughter over taking even their ability to breathe. “Should I… Intervene?” She offered weakly. 

With a shake of her head, trying to stifle her giggles, the blonde easily shoved off the magicat. “No, no everything’s fine. It’s. This is how we used to play in the Horde.”

The Brightmoon princess frowned at the explanation. “That’s. Alarming.”

Catra took a deep breath before sitting upright. “Not particularly. We weren’t… really allowed to be affectionate in public. But fighting to maintain yourself was an expectation. So… very young, we learned that this was something we could do to express that affection without drawing unwanted attention.”

Glimmer nodded slowly, still an air of suspicion. “So you fighting is how you said you loved each other?”

Neither had ever heard it stated so plainly before, and it left them both blushing and stammering. 

The violet haired woman threw up her hands with a shake of her head. “Clearly none of us wish to carry on that line of conversation. So. Why don’t we change the subject?”

Adora nodded vigorously before returning to her task of building up the fire.

Catra moved to sit a healthy distance away from her, bracing her back against a tree. “Well Sparkles, what would you like to talk about instead?”

She pondered the question for a moment before moving to sit across the fire from her. Violet eyes sparked in curiosity as a thought occurred to her. “You asked how we met. How did the two of you?”

Catra chuckled, folding her hands behind her head. “You want to tell it, or shall I?”

Adora rolled her eyes, with a smirk. “You tell it better.”

She hummed with a nod. “We in fact, met not unlike how you did. I’d been tossed into a box and set afloat in the river. Adora had grown bored of the castle grounds and happened to be along the very same river. She heard me crying and came to save me. We couldn’t have been older than… seven?”

“Six,” Adora corrected, shifting to sit before the fire warming her hands against the small flame.

She nodded in acquiescence. “That sounds right. So while she may not have descended from the heavens to save me… she certainly braved what felt like a very strong currant for two young children.”

“That spot became our place,” Adora added quietly, her eyes growing distant. “We spent a lot of time there together just to get away from everything.” She inhaled deeply all of the memories of their time spent there flooding her all over again. All the joy of playing as children, the euphoria of their first kiss, giving Catra that silver band, the bitter pain of waiting for her until the last possible moment until she was forced to flee. She felt her mind fracturing as the old grief, the old pain welled up in her chest. She grew distant from her own body in that moment, her blue eyes glazing over as tears began to swim in them. The heaviness of the topic was weighing on her like a lead coat. How had something so sweet turned so acrid? 

“Adora? Sweetheart?” Glimmer called softly.

The blonde woman stood abruptly and wandered into the woods. “I’ll be back,” she called numbly.

Catra watched Adora go, her ears pressed back against her head. She let out a deep breath, combing a hand through her short hair. She swallowed thickly, her arms crossed firmly over her chest, tail lashing anxiously. How did this even happen? How had they completely unravelled this way that they couldn’t even mention the good times without hurting her? She stared down at the ground lost in her own thoughts. Though the unmistakable feeling of someone staring her down was almost a tangible feeling on her furred skin. Catra glanced over to see the Brightmoon princess glaring at her. They locked eyes for a moment before she finally spoke. “Have something to say?” She murmured, ear twitching.

Glimmer huffed, taking a sip of her mug. “Adora told me to behave. So that’s what I intend to do.”

That was met with a disbelieving snort. “Never had a high regard for those in the Rebellion, but I never took them as such cowards that they couldn’t even speak their minds.”

The shorter woman bristled at that, her eyes narrowing. “Don’t confuse my respect for a demand to be kind to you as me not having the spine to speak my mind.” She turned her head to stare into the fire. “I would’ve assumed that you were perhaps intelligent enough to decipher it on your own.”

The magicat rolled her eyes, reclining on her hand. “Yeah, yeah. You hate me, you loathe that I’m associating with the woman you’re sleeping with, you wish I were dead. I’ve heard it all before. You aren’t special, _Sparkles_.”

“Glimmer,” she muttered in correction, glancing back at her. “Listen here, Horde scum, Adora was getting better. She was _finally_ coming into herself again. She’d finally stopped shutting down that way. Afters years of being alone. And the moment you show up, she comes apart at the seams. Forgive me if I’m not convinced you aren’t a poor influence on her life. It’s no secret that I think you should just take your leave.”

She ran her tongue along her fanged teeth. “The only reason I’m still here is _because_ of her. You think I would willingly hurt the woman I’ve been in love with since I was six? You think I take her tears, her pain lightly?” Her eyes narrowed, pupils dilating into slits. “If she asked me to leave, I would. Hells,” she pushed up the left sleeve of her arm to show off the three crossed scars that her fur never grew over, “if cutting open a vein would make her happy, I would do it without a thought.” She dropped her arm to dig her claws lightly into the dirt beneath her. “You think I’m ignorant? You think I don’t realize what’s going on here? I understand that she’s moved on. I’m not looking to steal her away from you. So if we could end your constant badgering and hostility before Adora gets hurt, I would count it as a favor.”

She harrumphed, turning to face her. “Adora is already hurt, and it isn’t because of me. She hasn’t cried in months. And then you show up, and all of the progress she’s made is set back. You are only staying out of some desperate attempt to cling to the past. But were I in your place, and I saw the pain I was causing her, I would’ve been long gone by now. Clearly though, you aren’t me. So here you sit. Selfishly invading her life after five years of absence.”

She threw her head back in a rasping squeaking laugh. “Gods strike me dead for existing then. I must be a spawn from the fives hells for it. And, may I add, you aren’t the first to think so.” Catra shook her head looking away from her. “You’re right about one thing. I’m not you. I’m not turning this all into a pissing contest for her affections. Well, let me put an end to it here. You win. She’s yours. She’s made it clear she doesn’t want me that way. Making digs at me in front of her isn’t going to help your cause, and you aren’t wounding me with your petty snipes. The only one you’re hurting is Adora. Start watching your mouth around her. If you really wish to take me to task, then do it privately.”

“You really are pathetic,” Glimmer mused. “This isn’t about my relationship with her, and I don’t give a fuck about your pissing contest. This is about Adora and what’s best for her. If you can’t see that, then I suppose there really is no hope for you.”

“She’s my liege lady.” She eyed her again. “And I’m bound to her. I leave on her command. Not yours. And what’s more,” she turned to get to her feet to stare down at her clenching her fists, “you don’t know me. You don’t know what I’ve been through, what my life was like. Don’t pretend you do or that you even care. I don’t give a damn what you think. Paint me the villain here if that gives you peace of mind, but perhaps mull over the fact that Adora is even here because of me. She’s alive because I made sure she could escape. She got away because I didn’t break, despite the compulsion on my mind.” She gave a broken laugh, shaking her head. “And gods, I paid more dearly for her life and her freedom than you can even fathom.”

Glimmer’s expression sunk further and further in incredulity with every word. “You’re un-fucking-believable. How did you manage to turn the whole of this conversation around to be all about you?” She rose to meet her at as near eye level as she could manage with their height difference, but she still held herself with the bearing of a queen. “You know. I wanted to believe you were here to help her, truly I did. But even now, you can’t see the truth in front of your own eyes. She has struggled to retain what was left of her own humanity while you were gone. You left her alone all those years in misery. That was _you_. And you’re more than content to let her unravel. For what? A selfish childish fantasy?” Glimmer glared at her. “I won’t force you to do the right thing and leave if Adora wishes you to stay. But I think we both know she’s so wracked with unearned guilt and shame over this whole mess that she never will. If you care about her, if you _ever_ cared about her, you should make that decision for her and go. For her sake. Her life was improving until you crashed into it. And that’s a fact. You have done nothing but cause her pain and confusion. She was better off without you. It would be better if you actually had died.” She smirked seeing that she had struck a nerve, Catra recoiling at the admonishment. “Have I spoken my mind well enough to satisfy you?”

Catra’s mouth contorted in a snarl, her claws flaring as if she were tensing to attack. “If you wish me dead, then do it yourself, you coward,” she hissed.

Glimmer’s eyes began to glow in a faint magenta. “Is that a challenge?”

The two women stood in a tense standoff for a moment before Adora returned to the clearing. Immediately, Catra retracted her claws and relaxed her stance and Glimmer allowed the magic to dissipate from her and turned to resume her seat by the fire. 

Adora glanced back and forth between the two of them, the tension in the air thick enough to cleave with her sword. “Is something wrong?” When Glimmer didn’t even look up at her, she turned to Catra and noted her fur was flaring in agitation. “Catra?”

“No, not at all,” she murmured, combing her fingers through her cropped hair, wincing at the lack of it. “If you’ll excuse me, I think I’m going to bed.” She gave a tight smile. “Goodnight Adora,” she said before turning and quickly scaling a nearby tree in order to avoid any further conflict or explanation.

Adora frowned, turning to Glimmer once Catra was out of sight. “What in the five hells was that about?”

She shrugged, taking up her mug again. “Nothing that wasn’t true.”

“Glimmer,” she growled. “What did you say to her?”

She scoffed looking up at her. “She’s not a child Adora. She doesn’t need you to fight her battles for her. She’s fine.”

The blonde sighed pinching the bridge of her nose in frustration. “She’s been through a lot, Glimmer. She doesn’t need you to pile on.”

“And you haven’t? What about her piling on you?” She frowned up at her. “Adora, you’re one of the most important people in my life and I think it’s admirable how selfless and giving you can be. But sometimes, you have to think about what’s best for you. Maybe a night apart is what you both need.”

Adora frowned, feeling a twisting in her gut at the implication. Her eyes began to shift to and fro as she attempted to contain her rapidly spiraling thoughts. All of this was weighing so heavy on her shoulders. It was so overwhelming she was having trouble even breathing.

“Hey,” Glimmer whispered.

She blinked in surprise seeing the violet haired woman standing before her without warning, her face being gently cradled between her soft hands.

“Everything is alright,” she promised. “We’re both in one piece, and she’s gone to bed. We should too. Hm? We’ve had a long day and tomorrow will be much of the same until we get to Colonia.” She carefully traced her cheek with her thumb until the worry lines between Adora’s brows smoothed over. “There… see? It’s all going to work out.” She rose on her tiptoes to catch her lips in a soft kiss. When they separated, she traced a hand down her arm to lace their fingers together. “Come on sweetheart.”

Adora let out a long breath and nodded, following her to the already prepared large bed roll they shared mechanically removing her boots and belt before climbing in. She subconsciously wrapped an arm around Glimmer, turning her gaze towards the tree she knew Catra was in. She squinted thinking she could almost make out her tail lashing in one of the highest branches and she swallowed. It never sat right with her. The idea of any friend of her’s resorting to sleeping in trees. She let out a deep breath, closing her eyes to try and sleep.

~~

The nightmare plagued her again for the second night in a row since she was freed of that wretched mind compulsion. Catra turned to thrash in her sleep only to feel the weighless sensation of falling and she cried out as she was shocked into consciousness. Quickly, she managed to shift in time to land on her feet with no injury, her fur wet and matted with sweat from her hellish dreams. Catra panted heavily, looking around trying to remember where exactly she was. She turned to look towards the scene of smoldering embers to see Adora and Glimmer clinging to one another under their covers and it all came back to her. Her heart twisted and she quickly looked away. Gods it hurt.

Catra sucked in a deep breath before meandering over to the smoldering embers of their campfire, stamping out what remained of the flames. She then set about packing up everything else that was left out the night before. Methodically she brushed and saddled the horses as she waited for the couple to stir.

It didn’t take long for the whinnying of the horses to pull Glimmer from her slumber. She blinked past the sleep in her eyes to see the camp was cleaned up aside from the bedroll she was lying in. Her and Catra turned to one another to lock eyes for a moment before averting their gazes. Glimmer gently shook Adora into wakefulness. “Sweetheart,” she said softly. “Get up. It’s time to go.”

With a groan, the blonde rolled over to bury her face into her travel pillow.

Catra smirked to herself, not envying her task. Waking Adora was always impossible. Some things never changed.

It took a bit, but finally she rose and mechanically pulled on her boots and assisted Glimmer in finishing off the last of the packing before they were again on the road.

Adora slumped forward against Glimmer while they rode Swift Wind, still drowsy from her long night or restlessness. The other two women were happy to use her tiredness as an excuse to not speak as they rode on.

“Hey!”

Catra turned to see the boy she remembered before trotting towards them. She turned her eyes forward when he sided up between them.

“Good morning Bow,” Glimmer greeted him with a smile. “I trust the contingency had the problem well in hand?”

He nodded with a wide smile. “They did indeed. After the blow we dealt their forces, they easily retook Dryl and reinstated Entrapta. They’re staying with her for a time to be sure they aren’t over taken.”

“Good to know Adora’s faux pas didn’t offend enough to keep them from honoring their pack.”

“What did you do dummy?” Catra chuckled.

With a groan Adora shifted her head on Glimmer’s shoulder to look at her. “I didn’t realize she was twelve,” she whined.

The magicat let out a rasping laugh. “Oh Adora,” she snickered.

Glimmer merely rolled her eyes. “Luckily we’re past all of that and we were able to smoothe what ruffled feathers her comment caused.”

With Bow present, the three Rebellion fighters began chattering to themselves concerning their next steps and what they were needing to do once they got to Brightmoon. Catra easily tuned them out, her thoughts otherwise occupied with her own concerns relating to the trio and the Rebellion aligned city. She let out a quiet breath, scrubbing a hand through her short hair. She winced. The lack of hair still bothered her.

Someone’s stomach growled loudly, and the party came to a halt to take a moment to rest and eat something. Catra leaned against a tree, idolly nibbling on a heel of bread as her thoughts wandered. But then something caught her attention and her ears twitched. “Wait,” she said cautiously, pushing off her tree. “You’re…” Her eyes narrowed in consternation at Glimmer. “You’re the princess of Brightmoon?”

The violet eyed woman arched an eyebrow at her. “Yes. Why? Do you have a problem with that?”

A haunted quality came into her amber and sapphire eyes and she swallowed thickly. “No. Not at all.” She lowered her gaze, her gut roiling at the realization. Without a word she moved to mount. 

Adora arched an eyebrow at her stiffness and caught her wrist before she made it to her horse. “Catra? What’s the matter?”

“Don’t worry,” Glimmer commented, “I have no intention of executing you or anything. Perhaps just a stint in the dungeons for crimes against humanity.”

“Glimmer,” Bow warned in a low voice.

“I mean. We wouldn’t want to keep you in there for too long besides. Wouldn’t want the other prisoners catching fleas. Or worse, mange.”

“Glimmer! Stop!” Adora shouted, clenching her hands into fists. 

“Adora, it’s alright,” Catra murmured, her tail wrapping around her own waist, ears lying flat against her head.

“No! It isn’t! No one has the right to speak to you that way!”

“She can speak to me however she likes,” she nearly whispered.

Glimmer smirked, crossing her arms feeling vindicated. 

The blonde woman shook her head. “No she doesn’t,” she hissed, eyes narrowing at the Brightmoon princess.

Catra closed her eyes and sighed heavily, feeling her hackles rise. “Adora, drop it.”

“Why?! What gives her the right?!”

“Because I killed her father!” She blurted out, seeming to shrink inward.

The air seemed to be sucked from the space, a loud ringing clashing against their ears. Eyes wide in shock and horror, the thudding of heartbeats, the sharp intake of breath.

Catra swallowed thickly, not willing to meet their eyes. “Glimmer can speak to me in any manner she sees fit,” she whispered. “I deserve it.”

“You,” hissed the shorter woman, hands glowing a bright pink color as she strode towards her. Bow was too fast for her however, and hooked his arms under her’s to hold her back, Adora jumping to stand between them with arms outstretched. “You killed him!” She screamed, trashing against her restraints. “You were the magicat that night! I saw you! I held him while he died, and it was _your_ fault!” She sobbed, still trying to wrestle herself free.

Catra shrank further at the accusations thrown at her, and sucked in a deep breath. “I’m sorry,” she whispered. 

“You’re _sorry_?! You killed my father in front of me, slashed open his chest, and you’re _sorry_?!”

“Glimmer,” Adora said, coming to take her face in her hands. “Glimmer, breathe.”

She shook her head through gritted teeth before crumpling to her knees as she wept bitterly, the grief overwhelming her. 

Bow sank down with her, holding her close to his chest, looking over Adora’s shoulder with an inscrutable expression. “I think maybe the two of you should step away for a moment.”

Adora met his eyes before slowly turning to watch Catra shaking as she stared down at her clawed hands, quiet horror behind her heterochromatic eyes. Sucking in a deep breath, the blonde woman pressed a kiss to Glimmer’s forehead before getting to her feet and ushering Catra away from the scene. She said nothing as she guided her far away from Bow and Glimmer, making sure they couldn’t see them when they finally stopped.

Catra didn’t make a move outside of Adora’s prompting, didn’t make a sound as she stared numbly at the ground beneath her feet. She swallowed thickly, hands still shaking as she stared, seeming trapped somewhere in her own mind.

“Catra,” she whispered, placing a hand on her shoulder. She winced when the magicat flinched at the touch as if expecting a blow. “Catra… what… what happened? Did you really…?”

She swallowed again, refusing to meet her eyes. “How do you think I got knighted Adora?” she answered quietly.

With pursed lips she gestured for them both to find a comfortable place to sit. “I think… you should explain. From the beginning.”

It took a moment, a few heartbeats, a few gentle touches, encouraging words before finally Catra opened her mouth to speak. “My promotion… was the start of it all. I proved myself competent. More competent than those around us, it wasn’t long until I was a sergeant. When the Third Moon Company lost our captain in battle, I was promoted again to fill the vacancy.” She smiled weakly. “Being better and smarter than the rest of them paid off,” she gave a mirthless chuckle before she continued.

“Well. I’m not sure if you’re aware of this… but Second Talon Company was deployed… short a captain. Intentionally. Apparently Weaver was displeased I had been promoted and thought to use it to her advantage.”

Adora winced before bending forward to hold her face in her hands. Of course. That was just like her…

“So when it was discovered that the company was left without the proper command, I was transferred.” She shrugged casually. “I wasn’t pleased. In fact, I was livid.” She shook her head refusing to linger on why it had angered her so much. “Well. It wasn’t long before we received orders from Castle Fright concerning a secret mission. I’m confident, it was meant to be a suicide mission,” she murmured combing clawed fingers through her cropped hair. “Those set to go on the mission were listed in the orders. Myself and two others that I know Weaver was more than… displeased with.” She shook her head. “Kill the royal family of Brightmoon… with a special emphasis on the king. My fellows and I disagreed on the best way to carry out the mission. So once we got to Brightmoon, we parted ways.” She flexed her hand to retract and extend her claws. “I scaled the walls in the dead of night. I knew that there was no way they would see me… no reason for them to be watching the walls of a tower that led hundreds of feet into the air.”

Adora felt her gut twist, having already heard this part of the story from the other end, now more anxious as details were filled in.

“I remember when I found him,” she murmured as she stared out at nothing as if she was seeing it all played out before her once more. “He looked kind. Strong. He was sorting through paperwork at his desk. He never heard me creep in through the open window. It was over in seconds…” She stared down at her right set of claws, her face a twisted and tortured expression as if viscus red liquid dripped off the tips. “I made it quick… I didn’t want him to suffer. I took the pendant from his neck as proof I’d actually managed to do it, when the door opened.” She closed her eyes. “It must’ve been Glimmer… I heard her call him father as she screamed,” her voice broke and trailed off before she covered her mouth.

Adora sat patiently before setting a hand on her knee, waiting. She was finally rewarded with a hand over her own.

“I escaped easily out the window. Made my way back to camp. Showed the pendant… Sir Grizzlor knighted me on the spot. He said anyone who managed to do the impossible didn’t need to take the knight’s trials.” She smiled weakly.

“How did I never hear of this?” She whispered, trying to keep the emotion from her voice.

“The mission was a secret one to begin with. When Weaver found out that not only did I not die, but completed the mission and was knighted for my efforts, she ordered that no one speak of it on penalty of death.” She laughed bitterly. “I’m not even sure what her excuse was. At least I don’t remember it. But I know my standing at Castle Fright would’ve changed for the better for having struck such a blow against the Rebellion. And she couldn’t have that,” she sighed.

“And you never told me?”

Catra winced, ears lying back against her head as she pulled her hand away. “I didn’t tell you a lot of things. I didn’t want you to… think less of me.”

“Hey.” Catra looked up, startled at how close Adora sat near her. “There’s nothing you could do to make me think less of you.”

The magicat smiled weakly looking away once more, unable to meet those ocean blue eyes for fear she’d drown in them. “Whatever you say, princess.”

The pair sat quietly for a moment. Tension was thick in the air, and Catra still hadn’t managed to look at her. The shame of everything she’d done came flooding back to her and she began shaking.

Adora squeezed her hand tightly. “Are you alright?”

Catra scoffed. “No. But that isn’t anything new,” she retorted with a wry toothy grin.

The blonde swallowed thickly glancing back towards where they had left the others.

“I’ll… keep my distance,” she promised.

Adora sighed, combing her fingers through her undercut. “Alright,” she murmured as they rose to their feet. 

When they returned, Glimmer had climbed onto her own horse with Bow sitting securely behind her, arms around her waist. Her eyes were red and puffy from her crying, and by gods if looks could kill. She seethed quietly as she watched Catra mount Bow’s horse and glared daggers into her back as they rode on.

Catra could feel it. The animosity, the rage, the grief. She couldn’t take it. “I’ll meet you in Colonia,” she called to them before she kicked her horse into a full gallop, leaving them all in a cloud of dust. She didn’t let herself listen to Adora’s protests that came after her, and she prayed to the gods that she wouldn’t use that winged steed to catch up to her. That was the last thing they needed right now. She desperately needed to get away from Glimmer, to not stare into the face of one of her victims. This was a nightmare. What are the odds that Adora would’ve found herself with the princess of Brightmoon of all people? She closed her eyes as her horse continued to run. Maybe Glimmer was right. Maybe her dying would’ve been the preferred outcome rather than letting Adora see this side of her. Rather than having to face the fallout of her wicked deeds performed on behalf of the Horde. 

She rode hard and fast until she came to a little town. She confirmed that this place was in fact Colonia, and found the best inn the place had to offer. On the one hand, she hoped Adora wouldn’t find her here. On the other, she knew it would be impossible not to. Magicats weren’t all that common outside of Half Moon. And besides. She still wanted Adora. Even if Adora didn’t want her in that same way.

Catra had swiped the coin purse from Bow’s saddle bag and paid for a room, marching straight up to it. She threw herself onto the bed and stared at the opposite wall as her mind worked. So many memories. So many regrets. She remembered how she felt when she had taken King Micha’s life. She’d hated it. Hated herself. But she couldn’t let any of that matter because Adora had been waiting for her back at Castle Fright. She had promised to come back to her, and that meant doing things she wouldn’t be proud of. She sucked in a deep breath and slowly let it out. None of that mattered in the end though, did it? Still they were kept apart. Still Weaver had separated them, damaged them irreparably. She wasn’t sure when she fell asleep, wasn’t sure how long she’d slept. But in a brief window of wakefulness she heard the door to her room open. 

“Catra…”

The magicat’s ears pressed flat against her skull as she stared at the wall from her place on the bed. “What?” she croaked, her scratchy voice breaking without permission.

Adora let out a deep breath pushing her way inside the cramped room and shutting the door behind her. “Thank the gods,” she whispered, going to kneel at her bedside. “I kept coming in to check on you, but you were asleep and I was just-”

“I’m fine Adora,” Catra murmured, shutting her eyes tightly so she wouldn’t have to look at her. Everything about her was tense, fur standing on ends. She didn’t want to have to look at her now. Too much had happened. Her shame at all she’d done too thick in her veins. They had changed so much. Done too much. Adora didn’t have the right to look at her that way anymore. With that childhood awe, innocence, and affection. Especially with this most recent revelation. It was far too late for that. “You don’t have to be worried. I’m fine. Go back to your friends.” Silence stretched and Catra let out a deep sigh, sensing that she hadn’t moved an inch. “Was there more?” Her ear twitched a bit at small gasping breaths, the scent of saline assaulting her nostrils. She cracked open an amber eye to see her childhood friend staring right at her, tears streaming her cheeks. With a sigh, she reached up to wipe at her cheek. “What’s wrong? Why the tears?”

Adora took her hand and pressed it to her cheek. There was a lot on her mind. But she realized this was the first time they had had a chance to talk just the two of them without a chance at being interrupted. What had happened to the king was certainly a concern, but it wasn’t the first thing on her mind. “I feel like I need to explain. I… I thought you were dead,” she whimpered, burying her face in Catra’s open palm. “I… I came to try and free you from Castle Fright, but they… she’d said… I thought…” She swallowed thickly trying to keep herself together. 

Was she still on about that? This wasn’t the conversation she was expecting. But it was nevertheless one she had been dreading. With a bone weary sigh, Catra moved to sit up and pulled Adora to sit beside her on the bed, wrapping her arms solidly around her sobbing form. “Hush now, princess,” she mumbled. “I’m alright. See?” She took Adora’s hand and placed it at her breast bone so she could feel the steady rhythm of the heart beneath it. “It’s beating and everything,” she teased, smiling softly at Adora’s gentle laugh.

“It’s just… I’m so relieved… I’m so happy you’re ok,” she managed between deep breaths to try and steady her crying. She let herself be gently rocked back and forth for a moment, clawed fingertips carefully tracing up and down her back in a way that was alien now, but then again so, so familiar. When her crying finally ceased altogether, Catra spoke. 

“Better?” When Adora nodded, she started to pull away, but she was met with a strong grip.

“No… don’t. Stay.”

“You should get back to your friends,” she tried to remind her gently. 

“You’re my friend too.”

Catra swallowed thickly. “Fine. You should get back to your _lover_ then.” She watched the blonde woman in her arms stiffen and stare up at her with wide eyes. 

“W-what?”

“If you’re under the illusion that the pair of you are subtle, I’m here to inform you that you are not,” she said with a sardonic smile. She was able to pull in a real breath now that Adora moved to sit up, leaving some space between the pair of them.

“I’m… I… I don’t know what to say…”

“What’s there to say?” She murmured. “You moved on. I can hardly blame you for it.” She combed her clawed fingers through her recently shorn hair. She still wasn’t fond of it. “She seems very protective of you.”

“Well. When you’re the princess of her kingdom’s ally…”

Catra snorted. “Oh yes. That’s the only reason she’s aggressive towards your ex-fiancee.”

Adora winced at how flippantly she’d said it. “Catra, that isn’t fair.”

Her ears twitched for a moment before lying back against her head. “I suppose not. But that doesn’t make it less true.” She shook her head, lightly digging her claws into her own knees. “You shouldn’t be here right now. You’ve checked on me, I’m fine. Be about your business.”

“You _are_ my business.” Adora frowned when she was met with a humorless laugh.

“I haven’t been anything of the sort for coming on five years now. Let’s not pretend.” 

The frown quickly sunk into a full glare. “Stop it,” she hissed at the magicat. “Stop it Catra! Gods, we’re closer than that! You know me better than I know myself! We have too much history for me to just dismiss you like you’re asking me to!”

Catra shook her head. “No. No we aren’t. Not anymore.” Her voice was quiet, resigned. “And that’s not any fault of yours, or mine. It’s just the way it is. You’re a whole nother person now.” She gestured to her clothes, her new hair, the sword she’d set aside when she came in. “You’re She-ra now, the princess of Grayskull. With a magical steed and an entourage,” she chuckled before her expression grew more serious. “And a bit too taken with your drink.”

Adora winced at her accusation, however gentle it was. “It isn’t-”

“I’m a soldier, Adora. I know when someone is trying to hide the horror behind their closed eyes with drinking.” She patted her knee briefly, quick to withdraw it. “I’m not judging you,” she murmured. “Merely making a point. My Adora…” she shook her head, looking away, withdrawing her hand, swallowing thickly. “She isn’t you.”

The silence stretched between them as Adora stared at the magicat, her heart twisting in her chest. Had five years really changed her _that_ much? Changed them? Changed what they meant to each other? That her dearest most intimate friend, her first love, could hardly recognize her? She studied her in turn noting the dead tree-like scars poking out from beneath her sleeves that marred her skin in thickly stacked layers to the point where her fur couldn’t even hide it anymore. She swallowed hard, heart sinking as she realized that Weaver must’ve tortured her repeatedly during their separation. Constantly until her fur just stopped growing in those places. This was too much… so much for one person to bear. And on her own? How? Hesitantly, Adora reached out a finger to trace a particularly ugly scar along her forearm. “How did you stand it?” She asked, her voice cracking.

Catra recoiled at the touch out of instinct. She then closed her eyes and sucked in a deep breath before relaxing her arm again. “You don’t want to know.”

“Yes, I do. Tell me.”

Sapphire and amber eyes met ocean blue and she sighed. “It’s complicated,” she muttered. “I remember…” Her tail twitched in irritation, anxiety, as she tried to form the words. “I don’t remember most of those five years apart.”

“What are you talking about?”

The tail swishing grew more intense, more irritable. “I mean that I only recall my meetings with Weaver, especially when she would do this to me.” She held out her hands and watched her claws extend and retract as she clenched and unclenched her fingers. “I would be shocked until the world went black… and then wake up and it would be weeks, sometimes months later and I’d receive another dose.” She swallowed thickly. “I suspect it was a symptom of the mind control she had me under. In those blank spaces between, I suppose I conducted myself as her loyal little lapdog,” she growled.

“Cat,” Adora murmured absently.

Catra blinked at the sudden and unexpected joke unable to keep back her squeaking high pitched laugh from escaping, her shoulders feeling a bit lighter when the blonde joined in. But all too quickly, their laughter subsided and she resumed her flexing. “I don’t know what her reasoning was for sending me specifically to Dryl… but…” She shrugged. “It was probably for some nefarious purpose or another. Either way. Here we are.”

Adora watched her for a moment, a new horror dawning on her. “Catra… how much time do you feel has passed since I left Castle Fright?” Her heart stopped when she met Catra’s hard gemstone eyes.

“Don’t ask questions you don’t want the answers to, princess,” she cautioned. “You aren’t going to like the truth.”

Despite her shaking hands, the churning in her stomach, the icy fist clenched around her heart, she steeled her expression. “How long Catra?” She had to know.

The silence was thick as they stared one another down, before she answered. “It feels as if it’s been a hand full of months.” She clenched her hands into fists watching as Adora gasped as if she’d taken a strong blow to the stomach. She averted her gaze then. “Weaver would tell me, though. How long I’d been under her control. The year, the day… all part of her torment, I suppose. Reminding me all the time that stories of your legend were spread far from Castle Fright. That you hadn’t even tried to come back for me.” Her tail twitched at that. “At first it was a blessing. Knowing you were far away, safe.” She shut her eyes tightly. “But she just kept hammering it in… how you left me. I would never see you again. How this would go on every day. At least, every day I remember. She would taunt me between the torture. Tell me how I would think it had only been a year, and then to my horror, I’d have the body of an old woman.” Catra gave a weak, almost manic laugh as tears leaked from the corners of her eyes, her tail wrapping around her own waist in an attempt to self soothe. “New scars slowly crawling over every inch of my skin until I looked just like her…” She sniffed wiping at her face with the heel of her hand.

“So yes,” Catra continued. “It feels like the last time I saw you was only a few months ago.” She ran a thumb over her own lips as if she was still feeling the last kiss they’d shared in the stables. “So when I saw you in Dryl… I couldn’t believe it. That somehow, the spell was broken. And I had you back.” Her smile was twisted. “What a cruel trick. Weaver’s last parting torment, I suppose.” She let out a shaking breath leaning forward to hold her face in her hands. It was too much. All of this was too much. She recoiled at the hand Adora tried to lay on her shoulder. “Stop trying to touch me,” she hissed.

Adora stared at her with wide eyes, a betrayed expression. “I’m just… I just want to help you Catra…”

She shook her head. “You freed me. Gave me a place to recover. You’ve apparently forgiven me for regicide. That’s more than enough help. Obligation fulfilled.”

“You’re more to me than just an _obligation_!”

Her ears pressed back against her scalp, the grip she had on her too short hair growing stronger. “Stop Adora,” she warned in a low voice, something feral lingering just under the surface. 

“No Catra! I didn’t just leave you for dead! I did what I could to try and get you back, I--”

“Stop,” her voice now at a growl.

“Godsdamnit, I did everything I could to protect you! I meant everything I promised you the day we tried to escape! Everything I wanted, that _we_ wanted! Damnit, I lov--”

“I said enough!” She bellowed turning with a hiss, her clawed hand lashing out, three parallel lines on her cheek leaking tiny droplets of blood. Adora gasped staring up at the crouching woman in horror. Catra’s eyes were wide, wild with rage and despair. “Get out!” She shouted. “I don’t want to hear it!” She pointed towards the door. “Your intentions mean nothing now! The truth is, you left! You fucking left me to die, and I paid _dearly_ for it! All to protect you!” Her breathing grew heavy, panting as her arms shook with the force of holding them steady. “I suffered for _you_! I was tortured because of _you_! For our whole lives, I was beaten and abused! So I don’t want to hear anymore of our childhood fantasies, Adora!” Tears started to stream down her cheeks, her pupils dilated. “Just. Get. Out!” 

Adora did what she could to steady her own breathing rising to her feet, maintaining eye contact all the while. She didn’t even pay any mind to the scratches left on her cheek. Her stomach sank like a stone in a lake as she watched the other woman near catitonic demanding she go. She debated for a moment before giving a nod. “I’ll be back again later,” she said softly moving past her to leave, taking her magical sword with her as she left.

Catra stood there trembling waiting for the door to shut behind her before she let out a wail of bone deep grief. She dropped herself onto the bed and began clawing at the pillow and sheets to try and get out her frustration, her pain. It was too much. All of it was too godsdamned much. The ache that threatened to crush her heart, the ice pumping through her veins til it burned, the pressure against her lungs that refused to take in air, the hammer pounding throb in her skull, and then the tears that poured from her face like rain. Too much…

She kept clawing, kept screaming until her hands were too weak to move, her voice too broken to make another sound. Soon after, she collapsed onto the bed in silent sobs that wracked her whole body. She couldn’t let Adora ever finish that sentence ever again. It wasn’t that simple anymore. It never could be again. Too much she’d done that she couldn’t take back. It hurt too much. They could never go back to being those lovesick girls, they could never have that lovely fairytale of a life they had dreamed of. Adora couldn’t love her. No. Adora _didn’t_ love her. She may have thought she did, but she had Glimmer now. What use would she be? It didn’t matter what they’d had before. As wonderful as it had been, that was all over now. They were over. They had to be.

But still…

“Adora,” she whimpered, gripping the scraps of her pillow. “Adora…"

Eventually, Catra cried herself into a fitful sleep. It wasn't long before the nightmare memory took hold of her mind again plunging her once more into what haunted her the most. Her deepest regret played on repeat as she tossed and turned in her bed, grinding her teeth in her anxiety. It was almost worse than being awake.  
~

_Catra hurried as she tended her horse, still in her full suit of armor. It certainly made the tasks required more difficult, but she was on a time crunch considering her and Adora were to leave Castle Fright tonight. She could bear some discomfort in favor of efficacy. She wanted to be sure her horse was in top condition for the long journey west. The magicat combed out his coat, picked his hooves, and made sure he had a full meal in his belly before she set to saddling him. There were some provisions nearby and close to the barn that she took advantage of. She didn’t know when they would stop again, so it was best to do all she could now._

_Satisfied with her work thus far, Catra turned and hurried away from the barn to do what was needful in her barracks room. She quickly pulled off her armor, or at least as quickly as she could manage by herself. Usually a page assisted her, but she didn’t have time for that. Additionally, she couldn’t risk it. She was meant to be running maneuvers even at this moment. She just hoped no one noticed that she’d never actually come back to continue the day’s training. She changed into more comfortable riding clothes and laced up her best pair of boots. Catra scurried about her room shoving whatever she could possibly need into her rucksack. Gingerly, she affixed her dagger to her hip with a small smile. Realization hit and she pulled the ring that hung about her neck and under her shirt. With a yank she snapped the thin leather cord and placed it on it’s proper place on her left hand. Catra admired the thin silver band for just a moment before shouldering her bag and hurrying back out of the room._

_It didn’t take long to gather food from the kitchens, a few sacks for travel already sitting there having been prepared for other soldiers set to depart. She felt only a bit badly for the kitchen staff that would be reprimanded for their going missing. Either way, Catra easily dismissed the moral quandary and made her way back to the barn, grin wide on her face._

_Catra shoved open the barn door and froze when she saw Commander Weaver standing before her gelding, studying the saddle bags and how finely he was combed._

Catra lying on her bed at the inn sucked in a deep breath, digging her claws into the sheets as her heart rate spiked. The worst was coming, and even unconscious, she was bracing herself for the onslaught.

_“Captain,” the older woman drolled without looking up. “I had been informed that you were shirking your duties and thought I would come to investigate.” She glanced behind her, eyes narrowed as she took in the travel clothes and bags. “Were you deserting?” She asked lightly._

_Catra swallowed thickly, her pulse pounding heavily in her ears that were lying flat against her head. Lie. Lie like your life--no. Like_ Adora’s _life depends on it. “So what if I am,” she hissed, tail lashing behind her in agitation. “Maybe I finally got sick of being treated like your personal whipping boy. I’m done with you, all of you. Congratulations, you’re finally getting what you wanted.” Her chest expanded with pride, finding confidence in her own lie as she carried on. She could do this. All she had to do was let the Commander’s disdain for her carry her away. She took a few steps towards her horse._

_Weaver hummed as she watched her, her permanent scowl growing deeper at her frown. “Recently engaged?” She observed, eyeing the magicat’s left hand. “I suppose I’m not the only one here deserving of congratulations…” She reached forward and snatched her wrist to study the circlet._

_Catra felt her blood run cold, her heart sinking into her stomach. “Thanks,” she muttered trying to wrench herself free, but the grip was strong._

_“I’m sure Adora would want to give you her heartfelt congratulations as well… assuming that is…” Her eyes narrowed. “That she doesn’t already know. Assuming that you haven’t presented her with a matching ring.” Dark viridian eyes met amber and sapphire as the silence stretched, the tension rising. “Where. Is. Adora?”_

_Slowly, a determination settled over the young knight. Resignation. It was too late for her. There was nothing left to be done to get out of this. But she could protect Adora. Catra turned her head to see a burning lantern just behind the Commander. With a grunt, she pushed into her captor, catching her off guard, and kicked over the lantern satisfied with the shattering of the glass, flaming starting to consume the dry straw._

_Weaver shrieked as the pair struggled for a moment, Catra pulling the dagger she kept at her hip and attempting to plung it into her attacker’s heart. If she could just get away from here, maybe… But it wasn’t meant to be. As soon as she pulled back her arm for the finishing blow, lightning coursed through her body. Catra screamed as fresh scars burned their way into her skin and she collapsed to the ground. “Guards!” The Commander called coughing against the smoke agitating her lungs, soldiers filing in to arrest the captain that laid writhing on the floor. “Take her away, and mount a search party! She’s conspired to kidnap my daughter!” Her cough became more ragged as the flames grew larger, smoke filling the barn. They hurried outside, Catra held tightly by two guards as she struggled against them despite the seering agony, a guard staying behind to open all the stall doors to free the screaming horses._

_Catra laughed from her place between the guards, still half-heartedly trying to wrangle herself from their grasp. “It’s too late,” she cackled. “She’s long gone from here. She’s headed deep into the Crimson Waste,” she grinned wickedly at the Commander. Maybe she could buy her more time by sending them in the wrong direction. “She-ra’s back, and she’s going to mount a force from the desert to come back and _destroy_ you.”_

_Commander Weaver snarled at the magicat and backhanded her. “I want a force sent in every direction to find my daughter and return her to me!” She bellowed the order, watching men scramble to try and calm horses enough to mount. “And as for you,” she hissed squeezing Catra’s face in her hand. “You are going to pay for all this damage you’ve caused.”_

_Pain may have taken over her features, but behind those heterochromic eyes lay contented defiance. “It doesn’t matter what you do to me. She’s gone. You will_ never _get your hands on Adora. Never again.” The last thing she remembered was the pain. The burning, all consuming pain. It appeared that Weaver had actually held back all these years. Her vision grew narrow before she blacked out entirely._

And then the dream began again.  
~

It didn't take long before Adora had made her way to the inn's tavern on the bottom floor towards the back. She stared at the first pint of ale in front of her, trying to decide if this is how she would handle this fresh wave of emotions. Her conversation with Catra had… not gone as planned. She felt as if an iron fist had punched its way into her chest and gripped her heart, twisting it this way and that. Her mind spun out in a million directions, all that they said and that she learned, where it all went wrong. Obsessively thinking through what she could've said, what she should've said to change the outcome. She couldn't cope. It was too much.

Adora swallowed thickly before snatching up the mug of ale and drinking it down as if it were the elixir of life. Before she even finished, she ordered another. 

“Getting started early tonight?” A voice said over her shoulder. Adora turned to see her lover smiling weakly down at her before she took a seat beside her taking the pint that the barmaid set in front of them, two more quietly ordered from there.

“Hi Glimmer,” she murmured, finishing the rest of her drink. She didn’t have the energy to pretend she wasn’t feeling the way she was. With enough drinks in her, it wouldn’t matter much anymore anyway. Intoxication and release from her tormenting thoughts would flood her soon enough.

The shorter woman tsked, tracing Adora’s cheek with the back of her hand. “What’s wrong sweetheart?” She frowned slightly in concern when she was met with a shrug.

“Just one of those nights, I suppose,” Adora replied before thanking the barmaid for the pair of drinks set before them and adding a, 'keep them coming' accompanied with a pair of gold coins.

Glimmer leaned in combing fingers through her golden hair. “You haven’t had _one of those nights_ in almost a year,” she said in a low voice, her expression hardening. Not since they’d gotten closer. “This is because of that damned magicat, isn’t it?” Hate seemed to burn in her eyes as she said it.

Adora closed her eyes and let out a shuddering breath, taking a long pull from her next drink. “Don’t call her that,” she admonished, still not looking at her. “And so what if it is? There’s a lot of complication surrounding us. Especially considering…”

“That she murdered my father?” The Brightmoon princess felt her nose twitch in anger, grinding her teeth slightly. She wished she’d done more than talk with Catra the last time they were alone. “What else did she say to you to leave you in such a state? Did she kill your childhood pet on top of it all?”

Adora shook her head, not even sure if she should comment on her digs at her anymore. “Nothing that wasn’t true,” she replied softly, taking up her second mug of ale.

Glimmer seethed quietly for a moment, deciding to put aside her anger for the moment and just focus on helping Adora feel better. “Forget about her, sweetheart. You don’t need that added stress. We’re all better off just leaving her behind.” She pursed her lips when Adora shrugged off her hand.

“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” she insisted, finally looking at her, the scratch on her left cheek finally on full display. “What happened before, it was during a war Glimmer, she-”

Glimmer’s eyes widened at the sight of the abrasion and stood up. So much for stowing her anger. “What is _that_?!” She demanded tipping up her chin to get a better look. “Did that damned magicat do this?!” Her free hand formed a fist, a low purple-sparkling glow enveloping it.

“Stop,” Adora said, taking hold of both of her wrists. “It’s just a shallow scratch. It’s nothing.”

“It isn’t nothing Adora! This woman _killed my father_! She _broke your heart_ , stayed away for five years! You take her in, show her compassion even in the face of what she’s done. And then after you rescue her, she berates you and does _that_?!” She gestured to the scratch on her cheek. “You’re letting her get in your head! You’re letting her hurt you! Why?!”

“Because I love her!” The blonde bellowed, standing so quickly that her chair clattered to the floor behind her. “Gods Glimmer, I was going to _marry_ her! A person doesn’t just forget that! She was only acting on orders! I might’ve even done the same if I were in her shoes! You don’t just disobey in the Horde! And she didn’t leave me, she didn’t do anything but protect me! I thought she was dead! And she was held prisoner and tortured because of me! If anything, I left _her_! I hurt her!” Her face contorted in pain and she released Glimmer’s wrist trying to swallow down the lump in her throat. She righted her chair before sinking down into it. “I hurt her,” she whimpered, holding her face in her hands. Her shoulders shook with quiet sobs for a moment before she felt the pressure of a pair of arms coming around her. This time, she let the touch stay. 

“You didn’t do anything wrong,” Glimmer whispered, resting a chin on her shoulder. “Everything that happened between you… none of that was in your control. It wasn’t your fault how things ended there.” 

Adora swallowed at the finality, the way Glimmer spoke as if everything between her and Catra was just over. The iron fist around her heart seemed to squeeze even tighter. 

“You don’t have to worry about all that anymore though. Alright? She’s free now, safe. And I’m here,” she whispered, placing a gentle kiss on her cheek. Adora didn’t even seem to feel it. “We can put all of that ugliness behind us now. Alright?” Glimmer watched her, seeing how she continued to maintain her rigidness. “Would you like to keep drinking? Because I would really like to keep drinking.”

There was a moment’s hesitation before she was rewarded with a nod.

“Alright then,” she said softly, tipping her chin to plant a soft kiss on her lips, trying to pour as much affection and comfort into it as she could. “Tonight will be a fun one. Hm? No more crying, no more pain, no more bad thoughts. Just fun and drunken singing,” she attempted a full grin.

Adora chuckled leaning in to press their foreheads together. “Just fun,” she repeated. “Thank you Glimmer…”

“Of course sweetheart,” she crooned, giving her another kiss before snatching up her ale. “Now let’s drink until we forget our own names.” She was pleased to be greeted with a grin, and a mug tapping her own.

~

Adora let out a bellowing nasally laugh when Glimmer fell forward onto the bar with a loud belch. “Ha! I win!” She pointed to the violet-haired woman, her chest puffing up in pride for having yet again won one of their asinine drinking games. “Ssseriously Glimmer, I don’t understand why you still think this is a good idea,” she snickered reaching over to snatch up the mug of ale that Glimmer hadn’t quite finished. She downed what was left and slammed it onto the bar, unwittingly dinging the wood, but also not caring in the moment. Adora inhaled deeply the feeling of freedom that came with turning off her raging thoughts, the loosening of her tense muscles, the iron fist that gripped her heart finally, _finally_ , releasing it’s firm grasp. Riding outside of Castle Fright used to have this effect on her. This grounding of her soul, this sense of feeling solidly in her body and content to live in the moment. 

She hummed as she thought fondly back on that time. Nearly once a week, with Catra at her side, they would leave the grounds of the Keep to seek their freedom in the woods. She closed her eyes and smiled, a familiar warmth growing in her chest as the memories came flooding over her, a happy tear streaming down her cheek. Those happy times… she could have them back now, couldn’t she? Catra was _alive_. Catra was here! She had to see her. Right now.

Adora stood abruptly with a wide grin, and almost immediately toppled over her chair and hit the floor with a thud. She let out a low rolling laugh punctuated with snorts as she scrambled back to her feet. Another benefit to her drinking, any pain that would’ve caused was far away from her now, and wouldn’t come to meet her in sobriety unless there was real damage done. But she didn’t give another thought to it now as she staggered away from the bar and towards the stairs, the unconscious Glimmer left forgotten and slumped over the bar.

Catra was stretched out on her ruined bed staring up at the ceiling as she did what she could to think through what she was going to do now. She had pulled herself into consciousness deciding that this was better than that godsdamn dream that always left her raw and aching. The chaos that raged in her mind, while far more organized than Adora’s, was still heavy and pressing. Everything she’d ever wanted and planned for her left was obliterated now. She couldn’t return to the Horde. This newly forming Princess Alliance would never take her. Especially now that they knew the truth of what she’d done to King Micha. And Adora… She was so painfully and permanently out of reach. She winced.

And then the door to her room opened.

“Heeeeey Catraaaaa!” The blonde woman leaned heavily on the door frame with a wide grin, ocean blue eyes glazed over and glassy from drink.

“Adora?” Catra muttered, moving to sit up. “What are you doing here? It’s the middle of the night.”

She stumbled inside, falling onto the bed with snorting laughter. “I was thinkin’ about you! You know, like,” she threw her arms around the magicat, burying her face into her side, “just _how_ much I missed you? And now you’re here! It’s like a miracle Catra! I missed you so much,” she crooned, nuzzling her face into her side. “I just. I want to be around you, like, all the time, you know? You’re just one of my favorite people in the whole world!”

Catra smiled weakly down at the clearly drunk princess, carefully combing her fingers through her blonde hair. “Oh yeah? In the whole world?” She chuckled when her question was answered with a vigorous nod. “Well, that’s nice of you to say.” She could pretend for a minute, she allowed. Pretend the complicated history wasn’t real and just let herself enjoy the affection and praise. She could stand to be a little selfish before putting Adora to bed. “How much have you had to drink, princess?”

“Pffft, that’s for amateurs. Professionals don’t count their drinks! They just keep going until they can’t see straight,” she laughed again, her whole body shaking with it. 

“You’re a professional drinker, huh? What’s that pay?”

Adora hummed pleasantly, rolling onto her back to rest her head on Catra’s lap, a clawed hand returning to her scalp as soon as she settled. “It pays in a clear mind and a lack of muscle tension. It is just-! It’s great. You should try it some time!” She grinned up into heterochromic eyes. Inhibition gone, she felt no shame or hesitation in reaching up to trace a thumb along Catra’s soft cheek. “Gods, you have the most incredible eyes…”

Catra chuckled, letting her do as she liked for the time being. It felt nice, being loved again. Just a little. “I suppose that explains why you’ve taken to drinking like a fish to water. You’ve still got to be the most carefree happy drunk I’ve ever met.”

“It turns my mind off!” She bellowed with a laugh, lulling her head to the side. “Goooods, it gets so looooud when I don’t, ya know? Just so many thoughts, too many thoughts.” She shook her head. “But now I just remember the happy times,” she grinned. “Tastes like freedom. Just like our rides.” She nodded seriously. “Yup.”

Catra snorted, trying to keep the smile from her lips, leaving her mouth oddly contorted. “Being intoxicated tastes like freedom? Doesn’t taste like ale?”

“Noooo! It’s like…” Adora extended her hands in the air, her eyes narrowing in focus, her nose scrunching up in concentration. Time ticked on for a minute before her hands collapsed onto her stomach and she looked up at Catra again as if she’d just given a masterful explanation. “You know?”

At that, the magicat threw her head back in a high pitched rasping belly laugh. “Oh gods Adora, you are _so_ fucking drunk.” Her laughter only increased when Adora’s low roll snorting laugh accompanied her’s. She stared down at the wide grinning woman on her lap, her heart flooding with affection as she smiled back at her. “I should really get you to bed, princess.”

“Oh no, tha’s ok. I can just sleep here!” She wiggled her way from her lap and crawled up onto the bed, wedging herself between Catra’s back and the wall. “This bed’s all messed up,” she murmured, picking at the gashes in the sheets.

Catra closed her eyes and let out a deep sigh. “No Adora,” she said gently, “You can’t sleep here.” 

“Why noooot?” She whined. “We always used to sleep together!” She grinned. “And. You know. Sex stuff too.”

There it is. She couldn’t allow herself to pretend anymore. She slapped a hand over her face as she attempted to compose herself. “Because you’re with Glimmer now. And she wouldn’t like it.” She turned to look at her, legs crossed beneath her.

“Yeah, but you’re my fiancee. Soooo…” She shrugged as if that made the argument.

“Adora, it’s been five years,” she said flatly, trying to keep the pain from her voice.

“So what? People can be engaged as long as they want!” She fumbled around her tunic collar for a minute before drawing out a thin leather cord, a dark circlet resting at the center.

Catra’s heart stopped as she stared at it, not able to process what was happening. “What… what is that?”

“It’s my engagement ring!” She grinned yanking at the leather, not even feeling it snap against her neck. She carefully pulled the ring from it and tossed away the leather before slipping it onto it’s appropriate finger. “Silly. You should know, you’re the one who gave it to me.” She snorted a laugh at how ridiculous she thought Catra was being.

She felt overwhelmed in that moment, reaching forward with a shaking hand to take Adora’s left hand to inspect the ring. It couldn’t be the same one. It just couldn’t. It had been years! Catra turned her hand this way and that as she studied it, her heart just sinking further into her gut. It was… It was a little discolored, but it was the same bronze band she’d given her what felt like both just yesterday and a lifetime ago. “Why did you keep this?” She asked weakly, releasing her hand. “There was no reason to. You thought I was dead… you moved on. What would be the point?”

Adora however, gripped her hand even tighter. “Get rid of my favorite gift from the love of my life?” She snorted. “You sure _you_ aren’t the drunk one?” She brought Catra’s hand to her lips, gently pressing kisses to her knuckles. “Didn’t matter that you were gone… didn’t matter that I had Glimmer. I could never forget you Catra…” Her glassy blue eyes met Catra’s amber and sapphire gaze. “You meant everything to me. Still do. I couldn’t just throw away the symbol of our love. It would be like throwing away a part of myself. Same with the sword.” She smiled up at her. “They’re the most important things I own.”

Catra felt her insides twist and clench as Adora spoke, held captive by her eyes. It was too much. She had to put a stop to this. She’d pretended long enough. “And what about Glimmer?”

“What about Glimmer?” She murmured kissing along her knuckles again before the hand was pulled out of her grasp.

“Glimmer. The woman you’re with. Your lover. Are you still with her?” She clenched her fists at her side, giving her a hard stare.

Adora blinked as the blurred edges of her vision very gradually started coming back into focus. “I…”

“You are, aren’t you?” She shook her head moving to get off the bed. “You can’t do this to me, Adora,” she pressed trying to keep her voice from cracking. “You have to go.”

“What? Do what? Catra, no! Don’t send me away, please…”

She shook her head. “You can’t be with Glimmer and try and pull me in this way. You can’t put on our engagement ring as if the last five years didn’t happen and act like we’re still getting married when we aren’t even together!” She sucked in a deep breath. “You can’t play with my heart like this!”

Adora moved to her knees on the bed. “No Catra, please. I just… I miss you. I want-”

“It doesn’t matter if you miss me! _We aren’t together_!” She shouted desperately before she shook her head. “Damnit Adora. Do you love Glimmer?”

The question stopped her in her tracks, her eyes widening. “I… I don’t… We’re…” She swallowed thickly. “It’s… complicated.”

“Complicated,” Catra repeated. “But you are still together. You didn’t end things between you two?”

Adora hesitated before shaking her head. 

“Do you have any intention of doing so? Any at all?” She frowned a bit. “Or better yet. Before I stumbled back into your life, did you have any intention of ever leaving her?”

“That’s not fair,” she whined. 

“I think it’s plenty fair.” She pinched the bridge of her nose. “Look. You are far too drunk for this conversation, and I am far too sober. You really should just go to bed.”

She frowned as she studied her. “I tried talking to you sober, and you didn’t like that either…” She mused.

Shit. Catra glared at her. “You need to leave, Adora,” she said firmly.

A light went off in her head as she stared at the other woman. “I know what’s happening here. You’re hiding! You’re avoiding me hoping to just make it all go away!”

Catra pressed her lips in a tight line, her glare deepening.

“You still love me!” She grinned. “You still love me a-and you’re just feeling threatened by Glimmer!” 

“Figured that out all on your own, did you?” She muttered. 

Adora laughed, moving to take Catra by her arms. “That’s wonderful! It means we can just pick up where we left off! We can get married and build a home together just like we planned!”

Her face contorted in agony. “You won’t feel this way when you wake up Adora. Stop giving me false hope.”

She shook her head. “No, no I won’t. Just… gods Catra, I lo-”

Catra pressed a finger to her lips. “Stop,” she whimpered. “Please. I’m begging you. Just… just stop…” 

Adora did at the sight of tears pooling in her eyes. “Catra…”

“If you care for me _at all_ , you’ll leave. Go to your own room, get sober. And then…” She sniffed, swiping at her tears with the edge of her shirt sleeve. “I promise we will talk tomorrow. Alright?”

Slowly, reluctantly, the blonde nodded letting her hands fall to her side. “Alright…” Careful not to fall or touch Catra again without permission, she pulled herself off the bed and made her way to the door. Adora turned to look at her again, a lump forming in her throat as she did. “When?”

Catra shrugged. “Breakfast?”

With a nod, she slipped out of the room, gently shutting the door behind her.

~~

It didn’t take long for Adora to find her own room and collapse onto the bed, breathing deeply as she struggled to retain their conversation. She couldn’t let herself forget, she couldn’t. She started when the door to the room opened. “Catra?” She asked hopefully.

“No. Sorry Adora,” replied a much deeper voice from the door. She squinted at the shadowy figure at the door and sighed, recognizing Bow with Glimmer’s arm slung over his shoulder as he dragged her inside. “You just left her at the bar?”

“I, uh… I got distracted.”

He shrugged, accepting her answer before carefully setting Glimmer in the bed beside her. “I suppose I’m just glad you didn’t get lost naked in the woods again,” he sighed, giving her a weary smile. “Are you two going to be alright for the night?” At that, Glimmer stirred beside Adora throwing her arms around her.

“There you are luv,” she crooned, kissing along her shoulder.

Bow nodded glumly. “And on that note, I will leave you to your own devices.”

“Thank you Bow,” Adora said softly. “Goodnight.”

“Goodnight, Adora.” He stepped out into the hall, carefully closing the door behind him.

The blonde woman sucked in a deep breath, her head still foggy from drinking despite the edges of her vision growing clearer all the while. She stared down at Glimmer that was still peppering the exposed skin of her arm with kisses, her heart sinking into her gut as she realized Catra was right. She did love Glimmer, at least in part. It wouldn’t be fair if she just-

“Sweetheart?” The violet haired woman purred.

“Hm?” Adora just watched her without moving an inch, feeling herself slowly being torn in two.

“I want you,” she whispered in that unmistakable husky voice, leaning up to kiss along her jaw. 

She closed her eyes, cringing against the familiar words, her heart twisting as she fought with herself. “You’re drunk,” she murmured.

Glimmer snorted. “So are you. Besides, when has that ever stopped us before?” She continued to kiss along her jaw, moving down to her neck.

Adora couldn’t fight the pleasant shudder that ran down her body. “Glimmer…”

“Make love to me, Adora…” She tipped down her chin with a finger to catch her lips with her own.

That was all it took for Adora to fully turn to face her, hands working to gently pull off articles of clothing to fulfill the gentle request.

Catra was right. This was complicated. So much more complicated and involved than drunk Adora had wanted it to be. 

What was she going to do?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This. Was a very dense chapter. I know this. And while I'm kind of sorry? I'm not? I expect the last few chapters are gonna be about this long if I'm able to pack in everything I'm wanting to do by the end of it. Cause, hey! I have an end chapter estimation now! I know this was a longer wait for this chapter. I finally finished out my college semester, so now I'm hoping to spend more time writing. I hope the extraordinary length makes up for the longer wait time.
> 
> Also! Big shout out to [gargoylette](https://www.instagram.com/gargoylette/) for their amazing fanart they made of their favorite scene from [Chapter 5](https://www.instagram.com/p/CIWPsHVDPGI/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link)!
> 
> Comments and kudos are life-giving <3
> 
> Here's my [twitter](https://twitter.com/xtitan_1) and my [tumblr](https://scorchflamedancer.tumblr.com/). Hit me up if you like. I love talking to people about this fic, Catradora, or just spop in general.


	14. You Will Be Found

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Hi! I’m Finn!” The child said, beaming up at her.
> 
> She chuckled, resting her hands at her hips. “Hello, little one. I’m Catra. How can I help you?”
> 
> “You’re a magicat too?” They asked with wide eyes.
> 
> Catra hummed, kneeling down in front of them, her tail swishing in delight. “That I am. Just like you,” she answered, tapping their nose inciting a small giggle fit. “What were you playing just now?” She gestured towards the stick in their tiny clawed hand.
> 
> They grinned widely up at her, resting their fists on their hips. “She-ra!” They said proudly.
> 
> Her brows shot up at that. “Oh really? That sounds like fun.” She glanced around as if about to let them in on a conspiracy. “You know… I’m actually friends with She-ra.”
> 
> Their little black ears perked up at that. “Yeah?! Me too!”
> 
> Catra laughed, resting her fist under her chin and elbow on her knee. “Really now?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: Minor character deaths

Adora swallowed thickly, staring blankly at the ceiling as the dawn began to color the sky. She felt her stomach twist in knots as the reality of the night before sunk in. She’d fully thrown herself at Catra, talked about marrying her, tried to tell her that she loved her. And then when faced with a very reasonable boundary… Adora turned her head slightly to see a naked Glimmer wrapped up in a blanket, sleeping soundly.

Gods, what a mess.

Careful not to wake her, Adora climbed out of their shared bed and set about dressing herself. What was she going to do? What could she do? She winced realizing in that moment that she very well could lose Catra and Glimmer both. And what was worse, she couldn’t decide which hurt most. She sucked in a shaking breath before quietly leaving the room, careful in shutting the door behind her.

It wasn’t long before she found herself at a far table in the common room, staring out at nothing in particular as she sipped at her coffee. She didn’t have the stomach to eat anything, not after last night. Not in anticipation for this coming conversation.

Though, if she thought her stomach was twisting before, at the sight of Catra in her riding pants and a loose long shirt descending the stairs made her down right nauseous. Despite the time and the distance, the darkness that seemed to hover over the magicat, she was still just as lovely as ever. How could she have betrayed her like this? Adora closed her eyes, gripping tightly at the ceramic mug in her hands to try and ground herself.

Catra smiled weakly at her old friend sitting in the corner and made her way over. “May I?” She gestured to the open seat across from her. 

Adora only nodded, unable to meet her eyes. She heard the sound of the wooden chair scraping against the floor, still fixated on the coffee.

“Adora… Last night. When I yelled at you…” Catra watched the blonde, her grip on her mug flexing. “I’m sorry. I was just angry. I need you to know I don’t actually blame you for what happened. That burden rests on Weaver. Not you.”

Adora swallowed thickly, nodding weakly. It didn’t matter if Catra didn’t mean it. It didn’t make her words the night before any less true.

Catra studied her knowing something else was off, but noted the ring still on her finger with a wry smile. Perhaps that’s what it was. “You don’t have to be embarrassed, Adora. I know how drunk you were. I’m not upset.”

A firm shake of the head. “That isn’t it. It’s that. Just. I meant it. All of it.” She winced, realizing she would have to explain what “all of it” she was speaking of.

“Did you really?” She asked softly, eyes glued to the ring. “You still, after all that’s happened, want a future with me?” She was skeptical, but there was unmistakable hope in her gemstone eyes.

“I…” She finally had the courage to actually look at her, and blinked when she saw her line of sight. She followed it to see the ring still on her finger and her heart twisted. She’d worn it all night. While she and Glimmer had… She clenched her left hand into a fist. “Yes, I do, but…”

Catra sat straighter at that. “But what?” She asked with narrowed eyes.

Her grip tightened on the mug. “Last night. After I left you, I…” She was going to be sick.

She stared thoughtfully for a moment trying to piece things together. And once it all seemed to click into place in her mind, she let out a deep breath. “You slept with Glimmer,” she murmured, smoothing over her face into a neutral expression. 

Adora turned her head away in shame, the icy fist around her heart gripping at her once more. She had nothing to say. What could she say? Apologize? Explain? It didn’t matter now. Despite her nonplussed expression, she saw the grief in Catra’s eyes. There was no doubt in her mind now. Whatever they could’ve rekindled, it was ruined now.

Catra nodded, taking her silence as admission. “I suppose that’s it then,” she murmured. She extended a hand to her, and Adora arched an eyebrow in confusion. 

“What?”

“I’d like my ring back,” she said firmly.

Adora straightened at that, withdrawing her left hand to hold protectively to her chest. “What?! Catra, no-”

“Adora,” she said firmly. “Don’t do this. Don’t make it harder than it already is. You’ve made your choice, and this is me trying to respect it.” A crack of emotion twisted around her eyes, showing just the surface level of her pain that ran so much deeper than she was willing to show. “I’m not going to allow you to torture yourself with it. Please. Just. Give it back.”

She stared at her for a long while, sucking in a deep breath before releasing her left hand. She traced a loving finger along the circlet before carefully removing it from her finger. She pinched it between her thumb and forefinger as she considered. “What if I’m not ready?” She whispered.

Catra closed her eyes, massaging her temple with the hand she'd extended. “What are you talking about?” She murmured.

“I’ve only had you back for three days,” she pressed. “You were gone for years. I haven’t even had a chance to process any of this.” She shook her head, clenching her fist around the ring. “So no. I’m not going to give it back. Not until I’m ready.”

“What does that even mean?” She grumbled. “Ready for what? To choose between two women? In the meantime, just leaving us both in limbo? Expecting us to just wait around for you to get your thoughts in order?”

Adora frowned at her. “Stop it. It’s more complicated than that, and you know it.”

“It doesn’t need to be. You can just end this now and put us all out of our misery. I’m giving you an out. Take it.”

“What if I don’t want it?” The blonde woman insisted. “What if I don’t want an out? What if I want you?”

“Do you?” Catra spat. “Because fucking someone else doesn’t seem to indicate that you want me at all!”

She groaned holding her face in her hands. Why was this so hard?

She shook her head. “Are you sorry for sleeping with her?”

“What?” She muttered, pulling her hands away. 

“Would you take it back?” The magicat arched an eyebrow at her, somehow knowing the answer.

“I…” Adora ground her teeth. “Damnit Catra. _I don’t know._ I don’t know…” She whimpered, gripping at her hair.

The silence dragged on before, finally, Catra sighed. “Alright,” she murmured. “So you don’t know. Tell me what you do know,” she said gently. She recalled how many times she had done this with her before, helping Adora organize her chaotic thoughts. 

She swallowed thickly, taking a few deep breaths. “I know that I’m hurting. And that I’m hurting you. Both of you. And I want it to just stop.” She fidgeted for a moment. “I was getting better. I want to keep getting better.”

Catra nodded. “What else?” She prompted.

“I know that I care about you both. So, so much…”

“I imagine so,” she murmured. “You wouldn’t want to hurt someone you cared about. You wouldn’t be so hard on yourself over people you didn’t care about.” She sucked in a deep breath. “Alright so. You know that something is interrupting your healing process. You know that you’re hurting, and so are we. And that you care about us both.” She reached out to place a hand on her’s. “And you know that we care for you too. Right? That we want you to get better too?”

Adora finally felt like she could breathe now that they were touching. “Yes,” she whispered.

“That we want you to be happy?” She was rewarded with a nod. “So now you must ask yourself… What exactly is it that you want, Adora? What do you want your life to be? At the end of it all? Where do you want to be? _Who_ do you want to be?”

She swallowed thickly, gripping at her hand. “I don’t know,” she whimpered. “My whole life… I was _told_ who I was, who I had to be. I was a dutiful daughter and soldier. And then I was She-ra… I always had to fulfill the expectations of other people. Put the needs of others before my own.”

“Well, fuck all that,” Catra retorted. She arched an eyebrow when Adora stared at her in disbelief. “Fuck it. Fuck being dutiful, fuck expectations, fuck everyone else. Even me and my feelings. Ask yourself, in your heart of hearts, what is it you want?”

“It isn’t that simple. There are consequences to-”

“Of course there are consequences,” she cut her off with a laugh. “But you see, there are also consequences to putting everyone else first to your own detriment. Look at yourself,” she said motioning towards her. “You’re falling apart. You won’t be any good to anyone in this state. If you can make a decision for yourself that you’re proud of, you can tackle whatever consequences come your way because you made the best choice for yourself.” 

“How do you know that?” She insisted. It couldn’t really be that simple. Could it?

Catra gave her a wry smile, a tinge of an aching, a longing in her eyes. “You asked me how I managed Weaver’s torture for so long? When we were children, when we were apart?” She squeezed her hand. “I knew what I wanted. And I was willing to tackle those consequences for what I wanted. It wasn’t easy. But it was real. And there’s nothing that can convince me that it wasn’t worth it.” She huffed a sardonic laugh. “Even if it did hurt like the five hells.” Even if it _still_ hurt like the five hells.

Adora swallowed, slowly taking in her words. “And what if… I need time?”

The magicat shrugged. “I suppose that’s up to you. But you have to understand. We’re our own people as well. You can’t pull on our heartstrings while you sort yourself and expect us to come out the otherside unscathed.”

A determined set came into Adora’s ocean blue eyes and she nodded. “Thank you,” she murmured, opening the fist that still held the bronze ring. Even though she was confused beyond words, she knew that this… she couldn’t keep it any longer. Not with five year old promises and so much grief living in its metal. She took Catra’s hand and turned it over palm up, carefully placing the ring and closing her fingers around it. “This doesn’t mean I’ve made a decision,” she said seriously. “But… this is me… refusing to… pull your heartstrings. One day… you might melt this down… or give it to another, or sell it. Who knows. But…” For the first time through this conversation, Adora met her eyes without flinching. “You’re your own person. And that choice is yours. If I deserve a choice in what I want, so do you.”

Catra smiled weakly at her, giving her a nod. “I appreciate that… dummy,” she smirked at the old nickname. “Thanks for telling me what I already know.”

Light laughter broke out between them for a moment before Adora released her closed hand only for Catra to pocket the ring and take her hand again. She smiled softly, tracing her knuckles with her thumb “I don’t know how much time I’ll need… but. When I’ve figured things out. I’ll let you know?” She was met with a nod. 

“I’ll be around.” Her smile turned wry.

Adora squeezed her hand. “I really have missed you…”

Catra’s smile grew a bit more sincere at that. “I missed you too.”

She swallowed thickly. “Even if… if we can't get back what we had… can we… would we… is there any chance…"

The magicat arched an eyebrow smirking at her. “What is it, Adora?”

With a shaking breath she asked, “Could we be friends again?” She whispered. “I couldn’t bear living in a world where you weren’t… where we…”

Catra squeezed her hand. “Adora,” she mercifully interrupted. “You will always have a friend in me. Things between us… might never be the same. We may never recover what we lost. But we will always be friends.”

“Promise?” She whispered.

She squeezed her hand again, eyes growing soft. “I promise.”

Adora let out a deep sigh, hunching forward to rest her forehead on their joined hands. “Thank you,” she murmured.

“Of course princess,” she said softly, reaching forward to comb her fingers through her hair to gently massage her scalp with her clawed fingers. She chuckled when the blonde seemed to melt at her touch just like she always had. “Also. What’s with this haircut?” She teased.

She tsked, swatting her hand away and sitting upright. “Alright, you’re one to talk.”

“Hey.” She pointed to her own short hair. “This was done to me without my consent.” She reached over to scratch at her undercut. “This was a personal choice.”

Adora rolled her eyes at her. “It was hot and I like it,” she murmured tracing her fingers along the side of her own head. “Are you saying it looks bad?”

“I never said that.”

“Aw, you like it,” she smirked. “That must be so embarrassing for you.” Their eyes met, and familiar playful energy pulsing between them for a moment. Then both threw back their heads in raucous laughter, their hands still clasped tightly together. Even these tiny moments of familiarity were life giving. For both of them.

That’s how Glimmer found them when she came down the stairs. She blinked in confusion seeing her lover and the magicat holding hands and laughing together. She took in a quiet breath as she approached them. “Adora?”

Catra immediately tensed at the sight of her, her fur flaring out and tail growing still.

Adora looked up at her, debating internally for a moment if she should withdraw her hand. But in the end, she let it be. Touching Catra was so grounding and she wasn’t willing to let go of that yet. “Yes?”

“Bow has the horses ready. We should get going soon.”

The blonde let out a long breath. “Alright. We’ll be along in a moment.”

Catra stared down at their joined hands, running her tongue over her fanged teeth as she considered. “If you wouldn’t mind Glimmer,” she murmured. “I’d like a moment alone to say goodbye.”

Adora turned to stare openly at her, shock coloring her features. “What?”

Glimmer eyed them both. It was a simple enough request. “Not at all.” She leaned in to press her lips to the top of Adora’s head. “I’ll see you at the stables,” she said before teleporting away.

Adora studied Catra’s resolute expression, her gut twisting at this development. “What do you mean ‘say goodbye’? You aren’t coming with us?”

The brunette shook her head with a sad smile. “No. Adora… as condescending as Glimmer was, she was right. I don’t belong in Brightmoon. At least not right now.” She squeezed her hand. “But this isn’t a permanent goodbye. I think. Maybe we need some time apart to consider our situation. You said that you needed time. I’m giving it to you. And if you need more, we’ll figure it out then.” She let out a bone weary sigh. “But the dynamic with you, Glimmer, and I altogether is… a toxic one, to put it mildly. Especially while you’re still trying to sort yourself out.”

She swallowed thickly. “I don’t want to separate from you, Catra.”

“I know. I don’t either. But it won’t be forever,” she promised.

She fidgeted for a bit before she asked, “When will I see you again?”

She considered for a moment. “Well, you planned to go to Grayskull after Brightmoon, right?”

Adora huffed looking away. “I am _not_ going to Grayskull.” When she was met with silence, she turned to see Catra arching an eyebrow at her. “I…” She let out a breath, squeezing her hand like a life line. “I haven’t been able to… make myself go. I haven’t wanted to since we parted.”

“Why ever not? That’s your family.”

“Because… that’s where we planned to run to. And… I couldn’t go there. I couldn’t face my parents… I didn’t want any part of Grayskull… of a family… without you there.”

Catra blinked in surprise before a smile slowly spread across her face. “Then I’ll make you a deal. In four months time… I’ll meet you in Grayskull. I won’t let you face them alone.”

Adora felt so overwhelmed in that moment, cupping both hands around Catra’s now. “Deal,” she whispered, feeling tears prick her eyes. “Thank you.” She didn’t look up from their clasped hands even when she heard the sound of a chair scraping against the wood floor. She felt herself being tugged up to her feet only to be met with a warm hug from her childhood friend. She easily returned the embrace, holding her tightly to her chest. “Thank you,” she said again, burying her face into Catra’s cropped hair.

“Of course. Anything for you, princess.” She couldn’t help the rolling pur that reverberated from her chest as they held one another. As terrible as their circumstances were, as painful as it all was turning out to be, she could never deny the comfort and peace she found in Adora’s arms. Even if it was just as friends. 

They stood in silence for a long while before Adora reluctantly pulled back just enough to meet her eyes. “Catra… I have… one more request…” She began with a wince.

Catra waited patiently for her to continue, giving an encouraging smile.

“May I… kiss you goodbye?” She swallowed thickly, expecting to be rebuffed. To her surprise, she was met with that familiar rasping laughter, the pur only growing louder. A hand carefully cupped Adora’s cheek and Catra leaned in to briefly, softly brush her lips with her own.

“Be safe, Adora,” she whispered. “You aren’t allowed to be reckless, alright?”

She nodded, a faint blush coloring her cheeks.

A clawed finger tapped her chin up. “You promise?”

Adora chuckled, and gave a slight nod. “I promise.”

“Good,” she murmured, pulling her into another hug.

~~

Adora waved to Catra that stood in the doorway of the inn to watch them ride away. She smiled when she waved back and both let their gaze linger until they were completely out of sight. Adora sighed and looked forward, gripping at Swift Wind’s mane as they trotted on. She sat lost in thought as she attempted to process the last few days. Her musings were quickly disrupted, however.

“So!” Glimmer began with a wide smile. “It’ll be a few days to Thaymor, and then another week until we get to Brightmoon.”

Bow let out a long breath. “Gods, it’ll be good to be home for a while. I’ve almost forgotten what my own bed feels like.”

“And the food!” The violet haired woman let out a mournful sigh. “I’ve missed it so much.” She sided up to Adora and lightly elbowed her. “I can’t wait to show you off to everyone, sweetheart.”

Adora smiled weakly, wheels turning in her mind. “Actually,” she began slowly, pulling Swift Wind to a halt. 

The Brightmoon emissaries also came to a stop and turned to look at her. Bow frowned in confusion, his glaze flicking between the two women. “Is everything alright, Adora?”

The blonde woman let out a long breath. “I think so?” She frowned trying to put the words together. “I mean.” She shook her head. “No. I don’t know. I just. I don’t think I should go to Brightmoon.”

Glimmer let out a slightly panicked laugh. “What do you mean? Where are you going to go?”

“I think…” She traced her tongue along her teeth before meeting her eyes. “I told you when I joined you on your mission that I reserved the right to change my mind.” She gave a firm nod, her resolve strengthening. “I think, for now… this is where we part ways.”

Her face fell and she nudged her horse forward. “Adora… why? What’s wrong?”

She averted her gaze as she attempted to sort through her thoughts. “Everything is wrong, Glimmer.”

“It’s that damned magicat, isn’t it?” She growled. But she shrank back at the death glare Adora leveled at her.

“Shut. Up. I will not tolerate you speaking of her that way again.” Her blue eyes glowed briefly, crackling with magical energy. “I understand your concerns, sincerely I do. They are well received. But it stops now, or we are done for good. Do you hear me?”

She inhaled sharply through her nostrils. “Isn’t that what this is anyway? You leaving us? Doesn't that make us done for good?”

Adora shook her head. “No. It doesn't.” She placed a hand flat to her own chest. “I’m broken, Glimmer. I’ve spent all of these years trying to cover it up. To run from it, from my pain. And I can’t do that anymore. Not if I’m going to be the She-ra the world needs me to be. I need to face my demons. That’s something I can’t do in Brightmoon.”

The tension in Bow’s shoulders seemed to relax, encouraged by her words. He’d been really worried about her for a while and was overjoyed she was finally doing something about it. “Are you going to stay in Colonia with Catra?” His inquiry was sincere. But he blinked in confusion when she shook her head.

“No. This is something I need to do on my own. But… I’ll be going to Castle Grayskull in four months. We can reconnect then.”

Glimmer shifted uncomfortably in her saddle. “What… what does this mean for us?”

Adora let out a breath meeting her gaze. “I don’t know, Glimmer. That’s part of what I need to figure out, what exactly is it that I want. I need to figure out what it is I want my life to be when all is said and done. Where I want to be, what I want to do, who I want to be. Because honestly? Right now? I don’t have any answers to these questions. I’ve… never allowed myself to honestly want anything real for a long time.”

Glimmer bit her tongue, feeling a sting in her words she knew Adora hadn’t meant to direct at her, but it stung nonetheless. “If… that’s what you need, then I support you,” she said softly coming closer. She reached out to cradle her cheek in her hand. “Just. Take care of yourself, sweetheart.”

Adora put a hand over her’s and nodded. “I will.” She chuckled softly. “It’ll be a first for me.”

The Brightmoon princess smiled weakly before leaning in to kiss her. “I’ll see you in four months then?”

“Four months,” she repeated with a nod.

She nodded before leaning in for one last lingering kiss goodbye. Her heart twisted at the realization that she might never get to kiss her again. She reluctantly pulled away to allow for Bow to come close enough to hug her goodbye.

“Be safe Adora. I really hope you find what it is you’re looking for.”

Glimmer felt her eyes welling with tears as Adora nudged Swift Wind away from them, his wings stretching to begin his assent. “I love you,” she nearly whispered.

Adora met her eyes and swallowed thickly. “I love you too,” she murmured before her mount kicked off from the ground, taking to the skies.

Bow came up to Glimmer, concern etching his features. “Are you alright?”

She slowly shook her head, holding her face in her hand. “No. I’m not ok,” she said through trembling lips.

He sighed quietly, putting an arm around her and hugging her tightly. “I’ve got you,” he assured her as she cried into his shoulder.

~~~

Adora’s brow creased as she flew into the heart of the Whispering Woods. She hadn’t been back in years, but she knew that it was a crucial next step in accomplishing what she’d set out to do. She had to face her regrets. Her shame.

Swift Wind came to a graceful landing before the familiar old run down hovel carved into the tree. The blanket that served as the door was rotting at the edges, the outer walls even more overgrown with vines and other plant life. She sucked in a deep breath, patting Swift Wind’s neck before wandering around the back to a headstone with ‘Madam Razz’ etched into the stone.

Adora stood in the presence of the grave marker she carefully carved and placed herself half a decade ago. She let out a shuddering breath feeling the strength starting to go out of her legs as the grief ripped it’s way through her chest. Her brow furrowed as she was fighting to keep the emotion from welling up in her eyes. Slowly, reverently, she approached the grave as her legs finally began to give out.

“Hey Razz,” she said softly, moving to sit against the hard rock. She stared up at the canopy of leaves trying to keep the tears standing in her eyes from falling. “Gods, what a mess,” she whispered, wiping at her eyes. “I’ve wasted so much time these last few years. I’ve wasted so much of myself.” She paused, closing her eyes, the tears falling without permission. “Everything feels like it’s falling apart.” Adora heaved in heavy breaths trying to regain some composure. She hated this weakness, this vulnerability feeling so present in her body. “Catra survived,” she told the grave. “I finally found her. Freed her. I suppose that means your death wasn’t in vain after all.” She sniffed, looking down at her hands as she fidgeted. “But now things are more complicated than ever. Gods, everything hurts, Razz.”

Adora swallowed thickly. “I’m sorry I don’t visit. It was just. Too much. I just…” She held her face in her hands. “I know that the only reason you aren’t still with me is because I was reckless. I can’t stop myself from thinking of a million ways I could’ve lived that day differently.” 

The blonde woman turned slightly to trace her fingers along the etching of her mentor’s name. “I regret so much,” she said through a broken sob. “I regret not being smarter. Being better, for you. I regret not saving you. I regret not investing more in the time we had.” Her shoulders shook as she cried. “I regret never telling you that you were the mother I never had.” She laughed through her tears, smearing the saline across her cheeks with the palm of her hand. “Even though you were mad as the five hells… you were so gentle, and tender, and wise.” Adora rested her cheek against the hard granet.

“I regret how I’ve treated Catra and Glimmer as well. I love them both so much, and it seems like no matter how hard I try, I just end up hurting them both.” She sniffed again, closing her eyes as she felt the cold of the stone seeping into her skin, grounding her further. It was so strange, feeling fully in her own body in moments of pain like this. “I promised Catra I wouldn’t pull at their heartstrings any longer. So I have four months to get everything together before I have to face them again. I still don’t know how I’m going to do that, what to say, what to do.” She closed her eyes again. “I wish we could talk again. I wish I could hear your voice, your wisdom just one more time. Gods, I need you,” she whispered before sobs wracked her body again. 

Adora continued to talk to her departed mentor, to confide her cares and concerns, her hopes and her fears. She admitted her sins and shortcomings, letting the confessions float into the open air. For the first time, the burden of them felt lighter despite no one speaking any form of absolution for her. The act of speaking them seemed to be enough for her. She reminisced, she laughed, she cried. She poured out her soul to the memorial feeling more of her old self making its way to the surface with every word, and every passing minute. She talked and wept until her throat was raw and her eyes red. Finally as the sun stood high, shining through the canopy of leaves, she decided she had been sitting there long enough.

“You were always badgering me about taking care of myself.” Adora nodded slowly. “You were right. That’s not something I ever took the time to do. I never thought I had reason to. But that changes today. I promise I’m finally going to make you proud, you mad old bat,” she chuckled as the tears streamed down her face. She shifted to rest on her knees before the headstone. “I love you, Razz. Thank you. For everything you taught me. For protecting me. I’m going to repay you by being the person you always knew I could be.” She bent forward to leave a tentative kiss to the cold headstone. “I’ll visit more. I promise.”

With a final sniff, she rose to her feet and traced her fingers lovingly along her name once more before leaving to mount Swift Wind.

~~

Scorpia swallowed thickly before walking into Commander Weaver’s office. She stood at attention and gave a bow upon entry. “Commander.”

The old witch glanced up from her papers as she sat at her large desk. “Captain,” she replied casually. “What is it?”

She held her arms stiffly to her side to keep her claws from shaking. “We’ve recently received word from Dryl. The Rebellion overtook those deployed there and reinstated Princess Entrapta.”

Her dark green eyes narrowed at the news. “What?”

“Additionally,” she went on, “Force Captain Catra is missing.”

She stood abruptly, her palms slapping onto the desk’s surface. “How did this happen?!”

The young captain avoided her gaze. “Reports have said… She-ra was the one that took the city for the Rebellion.”

Weaver’s scarred face looked even more grotesque as it contorted with rage. “And no one was able to subdue her?”

“Eye witnesses said that when She-ra went to face Catra… she managed to damage her armor and they disappeared with the Princess of Brightmoon. They took out half of our forces stationed there in a single afternoon. And that was before soldiers from the Kingdom of Snows came to defend Dryl.”

The Commander folded her hands behind her back as she paced. That meant Catra would be dead, if her spell did it’s work. If she couldn’t use the magicat, she at least had the satisfaction of knowing Adora would’ve held her as she died. Suddenly, she ceased her pacing and faced the taller woman. “Send for the generals.”

“Yes, Commander.” She swallowed thickly, her pincers rubbing together in anxiety. “What… are you planning to do?”

“We’re taking the fight to Adora.” The evil smirk on her face was no less repulsive than her scowl. “Grayskull will regret stealing her away from me.”

~~

Adora meandered around the Whispering Woods, spending most of her time doing training exercises like Razz had taught her. The difference now being that she didn’t push herself to the point of ruin. She actually allowed herself to rest, to think, and made a better effort to try and feed herself. Though each meal did accompany at least a whole flask of something strong. 

Swift Wind eyed her with a level of incredulity. _She-ra,_ he began hesitantly.

“What?” She answered with an arched eyebrow, flask halfway to her lips.

_Perhaps, in the interest of self improvement, you should refrain from your drinking._

She rolled her eyes at him, taking a large gulp anyway. “This again,” she muttered.

_You remember how you started getting worse once you began drinking and you’ve rarely gone a day without it. It’s something to consider._

“Your concern is noted, and summarily dismissed.”

Swift Wind huffed, shaking out his mane in frustration. _It was only a suggestion._

Adora rolled her eyes once more, finishing off her flask out of pure spite. She’d rather die than let a magical horse tell her what to do. Satisfied with the break she’d taken, she climbed on his back and took to the skys. The pair flew in silence for a while before Adora spotted a squad of Horde soldiers setting upon some travelers. Her eyes narrowed and she drew her blade. _“For the honor of **Grayskull!** ”_ She waited for the familiar surge of magic to course through her, and her eyes widened in horror when it didn’t come. She tried again.

And again.

Again.

No…

She gritted her teeth as she glared at the offending weapon, anger and anxiety rising in her belly.

_She-ra, the people._

Her eyes snapped back to the scene and she huffed. There weren’t that many. She could take them without the help of She-ra. “Go Swift Wind,” she ordered with a light kick into his haunches. He dove in low, trampling a soldier that was making his way towards a woman with bright fiery hair and she jumped off brandishing her two swords. With the element of surprise, she was able to easily overcome them.

Panting she turned to see three people, all with worn clothes, only one among them with any weapons to speak of. “Are you all alright?”

“I think so,” said the man, immediately going over to the youngest among them. “Starla?”

The owl on the girl’s shoulder chirped happily. “I’m fine Jewelstar,” she said with a smile before looking to the third. “Tallstar?”

“In one piece,” she said with a stoic near monotone.

Adora took a step back when she turned her sharp orchid gaze on her. “I’m, uh. I’m glad to hear it.” She cleared her throat.

“Who are you?” Snapped Tallstar.

“I’m She-ra. Well. I mean. I’m usually She-ra. But I’m having a little trouble with it right now,” she fumbled, put off kilter with the aggressive energy the woman was giving off. “I’m Adora.”

“Which is it? Are you She-ra or are you Adora?”

“Both…?” She offered with a nervous chuckle.

Starla rolled her eyes and stepped between the two. “Ignore her. Sorry, we’re just a little on edge. We’ve been on the run for a while, and the only people we seem to come across are looking to capture us.” She extended a hand with a warm smile. “I’m Starla. And we’re the Star Siblings.”

Adora let out a breath shaking her hand. “Good to meet you. Where is it you’re headed?”

Jewelstar crossed his arms over his broad chest. “We’re on our way to Grayskull. We hear they’re accepting refugees.”

“But we keep getting lost,” said the youngest.

The blonde woman exchanged glances with her horse and she let out a deep breath. “We can guide you there if you really need it,” she said with no small amount of hesitation. 

The brother frowned and opened his mouth as if to decline, but his baby sister again stepped in. “That would be wonderful if it wouldn’t be too much trouble.”

She let out a quiet breath. “No, no trouble at all. If you’re being hunted, I can’t just allow you to go on unprotected.”

“I can protect my sisters just fine,” Jewelstar countered, Tallstar at his elbow crossing her arms.

Starla rounded on them. “Since we lost our other weapons, we haven’t been able to take more than a few at a time. She-ra’s willing to help us. We’re taking her up on her offer.”

The older siblings glanced at one another before they sighed, murmuring and nodding their acquiescence. 

The youngest of them grinned before turning back to Adora. “So when do we leave?”

~~~~

Bow never got back his money purse. 

Catra almost felt bad about it. He seemed like a nice enough man and wouldn’t hold the company he kept against him. But without it she wouldn’t have a copper to her name and nothing but the clothes on her back, and she desperately needed to get out of this town. She needed to find something to do with herself for the next four months before going to Castle Grayskull. Whatever that something was, she wouldn’t let it be this godsforsaken town where she’d said her bitter goodbyes to Adora. 

She spent a good amount of her little time remaining in town looking over the few horses that Colonia had on offer for purchase. After a while, she settled on a beautiful black gelding that had inexplicably taken a shine to her. She affectionately named him Melog, and set about fitting him with a new saddle and bridle. Once she had gathered enough rations for her journey, she made one final stop to buy herself a sword and dagger. She felt the absence of them on her belt and was determined to remedy that. She left the town immediately after that.

The magicat spent her days in a routine she found acceptable. She would rise early and eat before saddling up, riding until midday for another short break before mounting up again and going until the sky grew dark. It wasn’t ideal, but it worked just fine. 

One day along her journey to nowhere, Catra found herself in the town of Thaymor. She figured she’d spent enough time on the road for a while and staying at an inn would do her back some good. Besides, she was running low on food at this point. 

The magicat braced herself for the usual odd looks and mistrust she’d come to expect from anyone that looked at her. She was confused when she went about her business and it just never came. She frowned as she looked around the center of town, trying to understand. She wasn’t displeased by any measure, but it was just so odd. Most were suspicious of magicats and distrusted them as dangerous violent people. The answer soon came running through the streets, laughing loudly with a group of other children, all brandishing sticks like they were swords. Her heterochromatic eyes widened as she watched a young blonde magicat child playing with them. 

It didn’t take long for the child to sense eyes on them and they looked up to see Catra staring openly at them. Their blue eyes widened and they grinned, barring their sharp teeth. They waved widely, seemingly excited to see another like them.

Catra felt her heart melt and smiled right back, giving a small wave. She arched an eyebrow as they turned to speak to their friends for a moment before running right up to her.

“Hi! I’m Finn!” The child said, beaming up at her.

She chuckled, resting her hands at her hips. “Hello, little one. I’m Catra. How can I help you?”

“You’re a magicat too?” They asked with wide eyes.

Catra hummed, kneeling down in front of them, her tail swishing in delight. “That I am. Just like you,” she answered, tapping their nose inciting a small giggle fit. “What were you playing just now?” She gestured towards the stick in their tiny clawed hand.

They grinned widely up at her, resting their fists on their hips. “She-ra!” They said proudly.

Her brows shot up at that. “Oh really? That sounds like fun.” She glanced around as if about to let them in on a conspiracy. “You know… I’m actually friends with She-ra.”

Their little black ears perked up at that. “Yeah?! Me too!”

Catra laughed, resting her fist under her chin and elbow on her knee. “Really now?”

They nodded emphatically. “Yeah! She comes to town sometimes and she’ll play with me. She says I’m special. That I remind her of someone.”

Her eyes widened at that, her ears laying back. “You don’t say.”

Finn nodded again. “She does this with her arms,” they held their fists in the air and flexed. “And lets me swing from her arms!”

She smiled softly, just imagining the scene the tiny magicat described. “That sounds like Adora,” she said softly. She glanced at the stick in their hand. “Do you know how to sword fight?” She chuckled when they shook their head with a dour expression. “Would you like me to teach you?”

They gasped looking up at her with their bright blue eyes. “Could you?” They could hardly contain their excitement, hopping lightly on the balls of their feet as Catra rose to stand tall.

“Of course.” She glanced around the market, noting the carpenter’s shop. “Let’s see about getting some practice swords first.” She folded her hands behind her back as she walked, unable to contain her laughter as little Finn lept around her, chattering excitedly.

Perhaps these next few months wouldn’t be so bad after all.

~~

Adora found the Star Siblings to be an interesting lot. The older siblings grew more comfortable after spending a day or two traveling together, but Tallstar remained stoic. Though Adora suspected that that was just her personality. The banter between them was something to behold, always seeming to know what the other was about to say and finished or replied to sentences that hadn’t even been completed.

“Once we get to Grayskull, we’ll-”

“Right and then we’ll come in with the-”

“Absolutely not!”

Adora chuckled to herself from the back of Swift Wind as they walked on together. One thing that haunted her, however, was that at first encounter with them was not the only time she had reached out for She-ra and come up empty. That night she had walked a ways into the woods to try and transform, but nothing happened. It was like pressing her hand along a thin glass wall, a raging power just behind it. But no matter how hard she battered at the barrier, it refused to break. It didn’t stop her from trying, but she was growing more and more distressed at every failed attempt. What was she going to do if she couldn’t be She-ra anymore? All sorts of conflicting feelings ran through her at this possibility. Yes, it was a curse and she hated everything it had brought upon her. However, she grew sick at the realization that it was, in a twisted way, what she had begun deriving her worth from. The fact she was She-ra meant people needed her, and it gave her the power she required to fill those needs. 

Gods, her life was a contradictory mess.

She was pulled from her thoughts when Starla sided up to Swift Wind and smiled up to her. “Adora?”

“Hm?” She turned to look down at the young woman. “Yes?”

“I was just wondering if you knew how long it would take to get to Grayskull.”

“It’ll be about a week on foot. We could cut that time in half if you had horses, but,” she shrugged. “It’s the way of things.”

She nodded in understanding. “We’ve been walking for almost a month to get there. What’s one more week?” She quirked an eyebrow when Adora kept her eyes forward and stayed silent. “You’re not much for talking, are you?”

She cracked a smile at that, a sense of deja vu coming over her. “Not unless I have something worth saying.”

“Well. Then tell me something worth saying.”

Adora chuckled, glancing down at her. “Like what?”

Starla shrugged, folding her hands behind her back. “I don’t know.” She eyed her for a moment. “Tell me about Swift Wind.”

“What about him?”

“Well. He’s an alicorn. There must be something interesting about him.”

The steed seemed to preen at her words causing Adora to roll her eyes. “He’s a pain in the ass most of the time.” Still, she reached forward to pat his neck affectionately. “But I love him.”

“How did you find him? Where did he come from?”

She pressed her lips in a tight line recalling that time in her life. “He was born in Grayskull. He came to me when I was eighteen. Led me to the sword.” She frowned when the young woman laughed.

“Which one?”

She glanced down to see the Sword of Protection strapped to her saddle, and the blade she’d been gifted in her youth at its place on her hip. Ah. Why did people find that so odd to carry two swords? She tapped the Sword of Protection to indicate the one she was speaking of. “It allows me to channel She-ra’s magic.”

Starla nodded in understanding. She contemplated asking her this, silent debate going on in her mind. Finally, her curiosity got the best of her. “Are you… still unable to transform?”

Adora closed her eyes, feeling a new stab of shame. “Not since I left…” She huffed, cutting herself off. “No. I haven’t.” Silence stretched before the question came that she was dreading.

“Left who?”

She swallowed thickly. “It’s… a bit personal.”

“I understand. Just. I see how anxious it makes you, and you don’t really have anyone else to talk to. I just thought that perhaps if you needed it… I could be that listening ear. Maybe help you figure out what’s gone wrong.”

Adora reclined in her seat, eyes forward. “Starla, forgive my asking, but how old are you?” She was met with light laughter.

“Sixteen. Why?”

“Then why do I feel like I’m being beset upon by an older sister?” She smirked.

“Jewelstar says I have a way about me,” she grinned.

“Hmm. Your brother is a wise man.”

“He is at that. But I can’t help but notice you’re using this line of conversation to avoid my offer.”

Adora turned her head to see bright orange eyes staring up at her. “I suppose I am.” She hesitated for a moment before looking forward again. “I won’t get into detail,” she prefaced. “But. There are… two women in my life. My relationship with the both of them has gotten… very complicated as of late.”

“Complicated how?”

She was an impetuous little thing. “One was my childhood sweetheart that I thought was lost. The other is… well. She came into my life much more recently. And when the three of us were all in the same space, let’s just say the tensions grew.” 

“So you have two women that you love and love you, and they’re fighting over you.” Starla hummed in thought. “I’d say that’s almost romantic, but with how anxious you seem, I’d say it’s anything but.”

Adora threw back her head and laughed. “That’s the understatement of the century.” She combed her fingers through her undercut. “I had to get away from it all. Try and gather my thoughts. It hasn’t been working out well, obviously.”

“And since parting from them, you haven’t been able to become She-ra.”

“That’s right. I suspect that once I figure out what it is I want to do it will sort itself out, but I don’t know.” She sighed letting her hand fall to rest on her thigh. “Love is exhausting.”

“I wouldn’t know. But I’ll take your word for it.”

Adora hummed in acknowledgement glancing up at the sky, seeing the sun dipping low over the trees. “We should probably stop and break camp for the night. Tell the others?”

Starla nodded before lightly jogging over to her siblings to tell them.

The blonde woman watched them from her mount for a moment, her thoughts swirlings with Glimmer and Catra as the main subjects. What if her decision about them didn’t do anything to alleviate her problem? What if she could never become She-ra again? She winced at the thought, feeling torn over that conclusion. How was it both her hell and her salvation all in one? She swallowed thickly before dismounting and digging through her saddle bag for what she needed to start a fire.

~~~~

Glimmer pressed her back to the closed door of her bedroom, sighing heavily as she slid to the ground. She held her face in her hands, letting out another deep sigh. The meeting with her mother hadn’t gone as horribly as she’d feared, but it was still exhausting. Not to mention everything else that was buzzing around in her mind.

Bow moved to sit beside her against the door, wrapping his arms around his legs, hugging them to his chest. “Glimmer?”

“Hm?” She slumped to the side, resting against his shoulder.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Apart from admitting she wasn’t alright once Adora had left, she hadn’t spoken of what had happened.

“What’s there to talk about?” She murmured. “Adora left. And I’m not sure that the outcome will be favorable when we see her again.”

“Favorable how?” He put an arm around her shoulder, hugging her to his side. He winced when she started to shake, knowing she was trying to hold back quiet sobs.

“I love her, Bow. And just when I realized it, I’m going to lose her.”

“You won’t lose her. She cares about you. Even if your relationship doesn’t stay the same, she isn’t going to just abandon you.”

She gritted her teeth. “It’s all that damn magicat’s fault,” she growled. “Everything was going fine until she showed up.”

Bow grunted, frowning at her. “Was it, Glimmer?” He snapped.

She pulled back to blink up at him, caught off guard by his sudden outburst. “What?”

“Adora has a lot of problems. And you were encouraging them. The pair of you were getting drunk every single night. That wasn’t good for you, either of you. Whenever she would come up against something from her past she needed to work through, you would drown her in ale, falling into it right along with her.” He huffed. “I don’t like who you were when you drank. And I don’t like who you were when you got jealous and defensive about Catra.”

“I’m not _jealous_ of-”

“I’ve known you our whole lives. You can’t lie to me. I know what I saw. The way you talked to her, the way you treated her? It wasn’t acceptable. Not as a person, not as someone that supposedly loves Adora, and not as a princess. It was beneath you how you acted.” His dark eyes hardened as she recoiled from him. “If you aren’t secure enough in your relationship with Adora to let her figure this out and let her be friends with someone she’s been close with since she was a child…” He got to his feet with a huff. “Then maybe you never deserved her in the first place.”

Her jaw fell slack, watching him open the door to leave. “Bow-” 

He didn’t listen to her protests, and simply walked out, closing the door behind him.

Glimmer stared vacantly at the shut door, feeling his heart shatter. Adora had left her, and while that stung, Bow walking out on her just now left her feeling utterly broken. She pressed a hand to her mouth as she began to shake with sobs. She buried her face into her knees as she cried.

~~~~

Adora regretted running out of alcohol again. She regretted trying to sleep. She regretted allowing this deadly combination to exist in the same space. The horrors that awaited her in unconsciousness caused her to twist under her covers. A cold sweat broke out on her forehead as her worries by day began to seep into her dreams, turning them into vivid nightmares. 

_  
The women she loved, the two most important people in her life, were locked in a vicious death match. Catra with feral fury standing opposite of an icy and calculating Glimmer. One with a broadsword and fully extended claws, the other enveloped with a magenta ethereal glow and armed with her mage’s staff. Hate radiated off of them along with the iron will Adora had seen in them both more than once._

_There would only be one walking away from this conflict._

_Adora stood frozen as she watched the horror unfold before her. No matter how she tried to speak, no sound came. As much as she struggled to move, to run and stop the madness, her feet wouldn’t obey. This isn’t what she wanted. She never wanted either of them to get hurt or fight over someone like her. She writhed and fought to free herself, the imaginary bindings seemly to grow tighter with every movement._

_There were screams, burns, and so much blood as the magicat and Brightmoon princess clashed, neither giving any quarter. It was coming to a close soon. Adora watched in horror as Catra threw Glimmer, raising a clawed hand to strike. Glimmer swept her leg, a fist glowing with deadly fire coming to make contact. The momentum of both blows were going unblocked, neither with the footing to dodge. Both were about to make contact. They were going to kill each other. No one was going to walk away from this._

_No… Please…_

“Stop!” Adora bellowed as she sat upright in her bedroll panting. Her eyes filled with tears, her throat and muscles raw, sweat matting her blonde hair. She saw the vial images replay themselves over and over in her mind’s eye and she hunched forward. She held her face in her hands as she cried. 

“Adora!” A hand shot out of the darkness and took her shoulder.

She blinked looking to see Starla watching with a concerned expression. Adora sniffed, averting her gaze. “Sorry,” she murmured. “Damn nightmares. Go back to sleep.”

Starla shook her head and squeezed her shoulder. “Don’t apologize. I’m just concerned for you.” She smiled softly. “Besides, I was awake anyway.”

“I suppose this is what I get for not drinking before bed,” she attempted to joke, giving a sardonic laugh to accompany it.

“Adora,” she said with reproach, the unasked question hanging in the air.

With a deep breath, she closed her ocean blue eyes. “I saw Catra and Glimmer. They were fighting to the death. And I couldn’t do a damn thing to stop it.”

“The women you love,” she said without question.

Adora merely nodded, huddling in on herself.

“Well. I think your dreams are trying to tell you something. This is a question you’ve been avoiding since you parted ways with them. Your mind is trying to reconcile it in your sleep since you avoid it during your waking hours.” She moved to sit closer to her. “This is eating you alive.”

A huff. “That’s nothing new,” she muttered.

“And you think that’s acceptable?”

“It won’t be a problem once I get something to drink.”

“So that’s your plan then? Rather than tackle the issue, you intend to stay drunk for the rest of your life?”

“Why not? It’s been working so far.”

Starla didn’t know what came over her, she didn’t know why Adora’s belligerence made her blood boil, but it did. “Because it’s pathetic! Because you’re better than this! Because you deserve to live a life of freedom after everything you’ve lost, and you’re sabotaging yourself!”

Adora stared wide eyed at her, shocked at the outburst from the soft spoken girl. “I know I am,” she answered weakly. “I know I’m sabotaging myself… But I just… I don’t know what else to do. I’ve been this way for so long… It’s what I’ve always done… Because…”

“Because _why_? Why do you do this to yourself? Why are you keeping yourself from being happy?”

“Because I don’t deserve to be happy Starla,” she sobbed. “I don’t deserve any of it! I’ve hurt so many people, and ruined lives! My mistakes have gotten people killed and tortured! I don’t deserve peace! I don’t deserve to be with Glimmer or Catra, to have a family, to have the life I always wanted.” She sniffed, hanging her head low. “I deserve the torment. To be miserable. To be alone.”

Starla watched her for a moment as she considered. “Well, you’re wrong,” she said simply.

The blonde woman snorted derisively. “Oh yeah? And what makes you say that? You hardly even know me.”

“Exactly. I hardly even know you, and still you came to save me and my siblings. You didn’t know us, you had no obligation to us. Yet you saved us. And how many more people through your lifetime have you done the same for? I’ve heard of your legend on how you united the princesses to fight the Horde. You’ve liberated villages, and even the entire kingdom of Dryl.”

She pressed her lips together in a tight line, wanting to lash out and contradict her, but no words came.

When no protest came, she continued. “How many children’s lives have you spared, how many horrid men have you cut down to preserve peace? Whether you want to admit it or not, you’re a hero. You spit in the eye of an oppressive dictator and show the people that we can fight back. Not everyone with the power you’ve been granted would work towards the common good this way. The sword chose well when it came to you.”

“That sword is a fucking curse,” she spat. It was the first time she’d ever said it out loud. “Ever since I first touched it, my life has been a living hell! I lost my home, my friends, the love of my life, everything I’ve ever known! I’ve been a vagabond drunk, and all because of that damn sword!”

“And how much of that was self inflicted?” Starla countered with narrowed eyes. 

Adora bit her tongue, compulsively combing her fingertips over her undercut. “Fine. I did a lot of this to myself,” she retorted flatly. “Now what?” She numbly looked over to meet her gaze.

“Forgive yourself.”

She scoffed looking away. “No.”

“You’re never going to get past this block if you don’t.”

Adora swallowed thickly. “Even if I wanted to. How would I even do that? I’ve done so much…” She winced thinking through everything she’d done like the most horrific play.

Starla met her gaze unwaveringly, breathing heavily. She could see it… the pain in her eyes, the guilt, the shame. Carefully, she shifted to sit in front of Adora. “Let’s start with this…” She put her arms around the older woman, pulling her into a strong hug. “Adora… whatever you’ve done to yourself, to others, to Catra and Glimmer, and all the things that you blame yourself for… I forgive you.”

Looking back at this moment, Adora would always remember that if it had only been the words she would’ve easily pushed them aside with a polite nod and excused herself to bed letting the moment slip away as if it had never happened. Yet feeling the strong loving embrace of a sister, something she had never known, caught her off guard. She felt the remnants of the walls she had built around herself slowly start to crumble away.

_I forgive you._

Glimmer had told her none of this was her fault.

_I forgive you._

Catra has told her she didn’t blame her for what happened.

_I forgive you._

She let out a wet strangled cry as Starla's words ripped through her chest, uprooting the toxic lies she’d told herself all these years. It was excruciating yet healing all in the same moment. A hot iron lancing an infected wound. The battering of a powerful waterfall washing away all of the impurities that had seeped into her bones. The pain, the regret, the shame, it all seemed to cleanse itself from her soul. She sobbed openly into Starla’s shoulder, wrapping her arms tightly around her as she did.

Startla hushed her softly, tenderly stroking her hair. “Let it out Adora… it’s alright… you don’t need to carry this burden any longer. Forgive yourself… and I know if either of those women you love are worth their salt, they forgive you too. They don’t want you to live this way anymore… _I_ don’t want you to live this way anymore.”

She was finally letting it all out. The burdens that she kept tightly to her chest, the wounds of her childhood, all of the self harm she had done, she cried all of it out until there were no tears left to shed. Even then, the lingering remnants of dry sobs ripped their way from her throat until it ran raw. What little energy she had left was spent. It was a miracle that the other Star Siblings had slept through it. She rested in the embrace for a moment or two longer once she’d finished, reluctantly peeling away to wipe at her face. “Sorry,” she murmured.

She shook her head reaching forward to gently wipe away stray tears. “Don’t be sorry. Just… accept what I’m saying. For my sake if not your own.”

Adora nodded, wiping at her eyes with the palm of her hand. “Alright. You’re right,” she nodded slowly. “You’re right,” she repeated brokenly. “Thank you Starla.”

“It’s the least I can do after everything you’ve done for Etheria.” She grinned.

She swallowed thickly. “I hope this means… we can be friends.” She blinked in surprise when Starla threw back her head in a laugh.

“Weren’t we already?”

Adora cracked a smile at that, her chest filling with warmth. “I suppose we are.”

“Good,” she grinned, squeezing her shoulder. “Now… it’s the middle of the night… shall we get some sleep?” She was met with a nod and both women returned to their bedrolls. “Good night Adora.”

She smiled, staring up at the blanket of stars that cloaked the night sky. “Good night Starla.” And for the first time since she left Castle Fright, she slept soundly through the night without nightmares without the aid of alcohol.

~~~~

“That’s it! That’s the way!” Catra encouraged, as she was running a simple block strike drill with little Finn just outside of town as not to be disturbed. She would attempt to land a blow with her wooden practice sword on their shoulder, and they would pull back their own to catch the blow. And then the form would reverse. It was an easy way to slowly build the muscle memory and react defensively on instinct. “You’re doing so well after only a few lessons.” 

Finn grinned widely at the praise, their face furrowing into a focused expression as they stuck out their tongue in concentration. 

While they did well, their attention span only lasted so long for one so young. Catra wiped at the sweat on her brow with the back of her hand and went to ruffle the young magicat’s hair. “I’m sure you’re hungry about now. Perhaps you should head home.” She arched an eyebrow at them when they seemed to avoid her gaze. “What’s the matter, little one?”

“I don’t want to go back,” they said quietly, moving to lean into the side of Catra’s leg, wrapping an arm around her.

“Why ever not? I’m sure your parents miss you.”

Their ears laid flat against their head, and they buried their face into her thigh. “I don’t have parents,” they murmured. “I live at the orphanage.”

Catra felt her heart jump into her throat, and she combed her clawed fingers through their cropped blonde hair. “I see,” she replied thoughtfully. She glanced back towards the town, considering. She glanced down at the young magicat before she scooped them up in her arms, resting them on her hip. “Why don’t you and I get something to eat together then, hm? Would you like that?” She couldn’t help but chuckled when they beamed widely at her. “Come on, little one,” she said, hugging them to her side as she walked, scooping up the pair of practice swords in her free hand.

It wasn’t long until they found themselves at the inn Catra had been staying at, both digging into a meal that consisted mostly of fish.

“It’s my favorite too,” Catra answered them with a smile. She rested her chin in her hand as she watched the child eat their meal. They happily hummed to themselves as they did. What are the odds that she would happen to find herself in a place where another magicat lived? Additionally, Adora had found them as well. She let her mind wander from there, picking apart their features. Finn looked like a perfect mixture of her and Adora if it were possible for them to have their own child by conventional means. She pictured her with Adora in that little house in the valley they’d always talked of building, her and Finn playing. Teaching them to be a master swordsman, an archer, carving toys for them on the porch. 

The fantasy came crumbling apart with a sour expression when she remembered why she wasn’t with Adora now. She closed her eyes with a heavy sigh. Glimmer. Catra knew that in a true contest for Adora’s affections, she could never beat out a princess. Glimmer could give Adora everything she could ever possibly want, everything she deserved. While she wasn’t a fan of Glimmer as a person, especially with how she’d treated her, she couldn’t deny that it was out of a sense of protecting Adora. Perhaps the Brightmoon princess was right. Perhaps she didn’t know Adora anymore. While Catra had remained largely untouched by their time apart, her childhood sweetheart had the weight years of heartache brought. Glimmer might be better equipped to help her through that sort of pain. 

Glimmer was a princess.

Catra was just a Horde foundling with blood on her hands.

Even if Adora didn’t see it now, she was forever out of reach.

It was useless to dream. 

Catra let out a deep breath returning her attention to her meal, pushing the bits of food around on her plate before taking a bite. 

“Catra?”

She blinked up at the young magicat sitting across from her. “Yes, little one?”

“Thank you. For teaching me. And getting me lunch,” they said with the biggest smile. “It’s fun playing with you. And the food is really good.”

She smiled widely, reaching over to ruffle their hair, peeling laughter bubbling up from Finn’s throat. “Of course. It’s my pleasure.” Warmth filled her chest as she continued eating her meal.

Both magicat’s ears twitched at an odd sound in the distance and Catra jumped to her feet. Their fur flared out, everything in the pair telling them danger was near. “Finn,” she said, looking down at them with a firm expression. “I need you to wait right here and don’t move. Alright? I’ll be back for you.”

They nodded weakly, starting to shake with fear.

She sucked in a deep breath before cradling their face with a hand. “It’s going to be alright. I won’t let anything happen to you. Ok?” She waited until they nodded again, their little eyes so full of trust. Then she ran out of the inn.

Her nose scrunched up in revulsion at the familiar scent of the oil the Horde used for their war machines. She cursed before running towards the town magistrates office, bursting in without a care. “Madam Magistrate, we need to evacuate the town,” she said pushing her way past others that were waiting to speak with her. She slapped her open palms on her desk. “The Horde is here.”

Worried chatter erupted in the hall, and the Magistrate sighed addressing Catra with a professional veneer. “M’Lady, Thaymor is so far out of reach of the Horde, there is no way that they would come this far. You must be mistaken.”

She grunted, her eyes narrowing. “No, you have to listen to me! They’re here! They’ll raze this town and kill everyone if you don’t do something _now_!” She looked around, the chatter becoming more conflicted and seeming to agree more with the Magistrate. “Look, if I’m wrong, I’ll do whatever penance you’d ask of me. Pay whatever fine, do whatever community work you need doing as long as you need it. But if I’m right, your people will be able to breathe tomorrow. Please! I’m begging you to listen!” She gritted her teeth, desperation in her voice, in her mismatched eyes.

The Magistrate stared her down for a moment before letting out a rough sigh. “Fine.” She turned to her assistant. “Send word for an evacuation.”

“And post any militia you have at the south side of town,” Catra inserted.

The severe woman eyed her suspiciously for a moment before she nodded. “That as well.” She turned back to her assistant. “Go.”

Catra let out a deep breath, giving her a deferential bow. “Thank you,” she said with a deep earnesty. “Tell your militia I’ll be there to fight with them while the others make their escape.” Before anyone could ask any more questions, or offer any contradictions, she sprinted out to go find Finn.

~~~

_She-ra, wake up. I sense someone coming._

Adora sat up in her bedroll and looked in the direction Swift Wind was staring. She glanced over at the still sleeping Star Siblings. She debated rousing them for a moment before deciding they would be safe enough here until she took stock of the situation. She quickly pulled on her boots and mounted Swift Wind bare back before taking to the skys to scout out the area.

Adora saw a small squadron of fifteen or so soldiers armed to the teeth, riding war horses. A knight of the high order on the front, denoted by his white belt and boldric and brass adorned helm. If she was able to listen to the stragglers at the back, they were speaking of their mission to find and kill refugees from Horde territories, taking few as prisoners for public execution. They laughed recalling the last one they’d witnessed. A young man that cried as they’d turned him over to be burned at the stake for all to see.

She watched them for a moment, counting and recounting before she nodded. She uttered the words that would summon She-ra, and sighed in frustration when she didn’t come. Well. She could take on this platoon without She-ra. With a grunt, she kicked Swift Wind forward, his front legs kicking the platoon’s leader clear from his horse. Adora jumped from his back and landed on another soldier’s horse, running his rider through with her short sword and commandeering the war horse for herself before she went about picking off the soldiers one by one while Swift Wind did much of the same. His hooves lashed out taking down the riders left and right.

The squadron did it’s best to fight her off, but they were unprepared, under equipped to deal with their precision and skill. Not to mention they had been caught by surprise and were now left without their leader to guide them. Those that didn’t choose to flee were easily crushed under Swift Wind’s and Adora’s attacks. 

She scanned the clearing, bringing the war horse around to double check that every last man was dead. Satisfied she jumped onto Swift Wind’s back to return to their own little camp. “Well, that takes care of that,” she said with a nod, directing her mount to take to the air once more. She frowned when Swift Wind’s ears laid back against his head in agitation. 

_Something isn’t right._

“What is it?”

 _I’m not sure._ Still, he sped up in his flight towards their encampment, tension in the air growing.

Screaming. She heard screaming. And crying. Two women, and a man, along with an owl. Screaming. And then silence.

They had missed some.

The blood drained from her face at the sound. No. No, no, no, no! The flash of familiar Horde uniforms came into view as they drew near. A scream ripped it’s way from her throat, from the depths of her soul. Rage, furry, vengeance. Pain, grief, anguish. She felt all these things and more as she jumped from her seat and attacked the few remaining men, cleaving them in two as she yelled. When she fell upon the final soldier that scrambled along the forest floor, they begged her for mercy, their eyes wide with fear. Their words didn’t even reach Adora’s ears and she gritted her teeth as she raised her sword. She cut them down from their place on the ground. Her shouts didn’t cease once they were dead, and she brought back her arm to hack into their corpse again and again, the blood splattering as she cried out.

Finally, when she couldn’t hold her sword any longer and the body of her opponent was unrecognizable as a human being, she dropped her blade. She stared at the mangled corpse for a moment before looking over to see the Star Sibling’s not but a few steps from where they had been sleeping. 

Jewelstar had stood his ground, ever the dutiful big brother defending his sisters facing away from their retreat, his axe still in his hand. Tallstar had an arm extended as if she were reaching out to their final sibling.

Adora slowly walked towards the fiery haired young woman that was lying face down in the dirt. She gritted her teeth at the grief that threatened to ruin her as she sunk to her knees and carefully turned Starla over. The young woman’s face was frozen in fear, eyes wide as she had been the moment of her death. Any hope that she might’ve survived this attack was dashed immediately. With shaking hands, Adora cradled her head on her lap and carefully pulled her eyelids shut.

“I was too late,” she whispered to her departed friend. “I failed…” She sobbed, covering her mouth with a hand. “I’m so sorry Starla,” she managed to choke out between sobs. “I… I wasn’t good enough… again… I couldn’t save you…” It didn’t matter that she had done her best. Didn’t matter that she had thought she made the best choice at the time. Her new friends littered the ground as dead as stone. Her decisions led to their deaths. 

This was her fault. 

All her fault. 

Adora bent over and kissed her forehead with trembling lips. “Please… Please for-forgive me… Forgive…” Her words trailed off in a scream that rose up from the deepest part of her being, the part that she had always kept locked up with a tight key, the part that was always in utter turmoil…

Radiant white light imminated from her body as she shouted into the void. She had never channeled this much magic through her body before. It shook the trees in the clearing, the sky growing thick with clouds being tossed about by wind currents that reacted to the power rolling off of Adora’s body.

A thick beam of light shot up into the air, shooting over the tallest tree tops and cutting through the darkness to be seen from miles around.

~

Adam looked up at the tumultuous sky, his eyes narrowing slightly as he followed the clouds seeing the blinding light converging on a particular point in the distance. Hope gripped at him as his eyes widened. All the reports and rumors of his sister taking up the mantle of She-ra… could it be? It had to be. The magic he sensed was so similar to his own. It had to be her.

He gripped the horn of his saddle digging in his heels. “Go Battlecat,” he said in a low voice. “Go! Find her!” The great cat pushed off from the ground into a sprint, his paws digging into the earth as he ran, pushing forward, fighting the air currents with great leaps. 

_Master, perhaps we should-_

“No!” He shouted back against the storm. “That has to be her, it has to be! And if it is, she needs me!” He gritted his teeth, ducking his head against the powerful gusts of wind. “Just keep going! Dig your claws into the dirt and pull forward if you have to!”

The big cat grunted obeying his master, no longer able to run through this… madness. He gripped at trees, rocks, into the dirt slowly, painfully inching forward. It was like trying to fight the ocean, or move a mountain. “Come on Battlecat, you can do it!”

This continued until they reached just outside of the eye of the storm, all of the clouds, the light converging to a single point. His eyes widened when he saw the pure white stallion. “Swift Wind!” He shouted, almost laughing. His eyes scanned the clearing seeing the dead bodies scattered about. Soldiers mostly, but then there was a young man… and a woman… neither in uniform. His eyes looked up to see her, clinging to another girl. His heart swelling at the sight of her. It was her… finally… he found her. He saw both of his parent’s in her features. She looked just like he would if he had been born a woman. “Adora…” He whispered jumping from his mount, and then was blown back against him again. He grunted, essentially climbing to the ground, doing as his cat did to get there, digging his fingers into the dirt to pull himself forward. “Adora!” He screamed against the wind coming upon the first soldier. He took the sword from his belt, using it as leverage to pull himself onward rather than his bare hands. “Adora!” He passed another soldier, and another, then the man. Finally pushing, and pushing, fighting the gusts of wind that seemed to be originating from her own body, he reached out taking a firm hold of her shoulder, yanking her to face him.

Adam saw his own bright blue eyes staring back at him… his mother’s eyes… 

“I found you,” he whispered.

Adora gasped seeing a male mirror image of herself staring down at her. The great maelstrom had stilled as she gaped at him. Her head felt dizzy as Swift Wind pressed into her mind exactly who this was that held her.

_Prince Adam. Your twin brother._

She struggled to pull air into her lungs as the realization hit her, unable to process the information. She had channeled so much magic that she had grown weak. After the raging gusts of wind ceased, the clearing’s silence was deafening, leaving her ears ringing.

“Adam,” she whispered before her consciousness slipped away from her and she slumped over into his arms.

His eyes widened for a moment, catching her. He quickly put two fingers to her neck, relief washing through him when he felt a pulse. He let out a deep breath, hugging her tightly to his chest, pressing his lips to her forehead. “It’s alright… I’ve got you,” he whispered looking around, his eyes falling to the young woman’s lifeless body that his sister had been holding. “I’ve got you,” he repeated. Adam kept her cradled against his chest as he looked up to see the white stallion approaching them. “It’s good to see you again, Swift Wind,” he grinned widely.

The poor horse seemed completely shaken to his core. _It is excellent to see you again, He-man. I don’t know what would’ve happened if you hadn’t arrived when you did._

“Breathe easy now old friend… I’ll take care of everything.” He looked down at the sleeping girl in his arms, tracing her blonde hair from her face. “I’m so glad I found you,” he sighed, getting to his feet, his grip firmly on her. He looked around the clearing and sighed. This… would take a bit of cleanup… 

~~~~

Catra had entrusted Finn’s safety to the couple that ran the orphanage with veiled threats if any harm befell the child. 

“We will guard them with our lives,” the wives had assured her.

With that concern put firmly to the side, she was able to focus on the matter at hand. She huffed, drawing her sword and dagger as she stood resolutely beside the town’s militia. “They’re going to volley first,” she warned them in a loud voice. “First the warmachines, then their archers. Once the arrows stop flying, charge. Only leave a handful behind to maintain defense. If we can cut them down first, then we can save the structures.”

The members of the militia exchanged wary glances before their Captain spoke up. “You don’t give the orders here, outsider.”

She glared up at him, moving right up against his chest and into his personal space. “Do you want to live, Captain? Do you want your town to stay standing by the time this fight is over?” She stifled her smirk when the taller man was cowed, and nodded weakly. “That’s what I thought. So. What are your orders going to be?”

He averted his gaze, clearing his throat. “Charge after the volley… leave a handful behind for defense.”

She clapped his shoulder. “Good man.” She moved to take her place at the front of the line with the rest of the soldiers and took in a deep breath as she watched the warmachines being loaded with their ammunition. She gritted her teeth, gripping the handles of her blades tightly. She’d fought many battles, killed countless soldiers, had more blood on her hands than she cared to think about. But never in her life had she ever stood for a cause she thought was worth dying for. She swallowed thickly, placing a hand over the ring she wore about her neck. “If I don’t make it Adora… I’m sorry,” she whispered.

Catra heard the shouted orders from the Horde officers to begin the assault and her ears laid back against her head. “Prepare yourselves!” She called to those standing around her, adjusting her stance to get ready to run or dodge.

Those around her shifted to adjust their shields, spears at the ready. She blinked looking to either side of her seeing the men there extending their shields to protect her as well. She nodded to them both in gratitude, fixing her eyes forward once more.

Everyone jumped at the unholy sounds of the creaking metal of the warmachines firing. Their flaming ammunitions vaulted over their heads, destroying the buildings they struck and leaving massive divots in the ground where it missed. She held her breath, hearing the orders for the archers and the whistling of arrows raining down on them. She winced as they clanged against the shields, looking around her to see a small number had been struck down. When the volley ceased, everyone dropped their shields and her eyes narrowed at the members of the Horde that stood to oppose them. 

“Charge!” She bellowed, running forward. The sound of a dozen soldiers shouted along with her as they all ran together.

~

It was madness, as battle often is. There was screaming and the squelching sound of pierced flesh, the cries of the injured and dying. 

Catra paid special attention to the warmachines, knowing their weak points and doing all she could to disable them. She cut down anyone that tried to stop or deter her efforts. Once that was done to her satisfaction, she searched out the officers, panting heavily with the effort as she fought them all off. She had a sick grin on her face when she saw Octavia in the distance. She pulled a knife off a fallen soldier and threw it with deadly precision. She cackled to herself when the sergeant crumpled where she stood. 

The magicat turned to find another officer and froze at the sight that greeted her.

“Scorpia?!”

The tall hulking woman blinked, turning at her name. “Wildcat?!” She laughed rushing over to meet her. “You’re alive! Thank the gods!” She threw her arms around the woman in a strong embrace, and Catra struggled for her freedom. 

“Scorpia-Stop! Battle!”

“Oh, right!” She dropped her unceremoniously, and the smaller woman gasped to try and suck the air back into her lungs. “What are you doing here?!”

“Defending Thaymor…” She met her eyes with a severe expression, swallowing thickly. “Help me,” she pleaded.

Black eyes met heterochromatic for a brief moment before she nodded. She looked down at her uniform, her pincer reaching up for the captain’s badge and ripped it off the front of her tunic and tossed it aside. She raised her claws and lashed out at the nearest Horde soldier.

Catra grinned widely, moving to fight at her side. “Just like old times, huh?”

“Not really!” Scorpia answered with panicked laughter.

~~~~

Hours later, when the sun had reached the center of the sky, Adora was securely wrapped up in blankets on a bedroll to the right of Adam. He was poking at a roaring fire with a stick, a warmed pot of stew sitting just out of reach of the flames. The three siblings had all been cleaned, wrapped in cloth and sat just out of view. He figured Adora would want to say goodbye before he buried them, their graves already prepared. He had taken the soldiers and disposed of them in the woods. They didn’t deserve the effort of graves. Not by his hand, at least.

Adora groaned rolling over onto her side, every muscle in her body screaming in protest to her very existence. She rubbed her temple as if warding off the worst hangover of her life. “Five hells,” she muttered, pressing her palms into her eyes to try and relieve some of the pressure.

“Adora?” 

She turned at the sound of a gentle masculine voice and blinked, moving to sit up. She swallowed thickly, her hand idly reaching for a sword that wasn’t there. “Who are you?”

“I’m Adam… your brother.”

Their blue eyes met, and she tried to find the lie in them. But honestly, how could she deny the truth? It was almost as if looking in a mirror seeing him. Additionally, Swift Wind was quietly reassuring her that he was who he said he was. “How did you find me?”

“I’ve been looking for you since Swift Wind left to get you. Neither of you ever returned home, so I’ve just been…” He shook his head, poking at the fire. “I suppose just. Hoping to stumble into you.”

“Why?” She murmured. 

He arched an eyebrow at her as if she were insane. “Because you’re my sister. We’ve been working to get you back for years. Our mother and father have been beside themselves with grief since you were taken.” He watched her face contort in a conflicted expression before she looked away. “Adora… why didn’t you come home when Swift Wind found you?”

She swallowed thickly. “I couldn’t. I.. It’s complicated.” She shut her eyes tightly. “A lot’s happened in the last five years.”

“Tell me,” he said in a quiet voice, his blue eyes pleading. He wanted more than anything to know this woman that had been kept from him since he was a child.

Adora looked up at him, at first with skepticism. But the warmth in his face smoothed it over as she seriously considered. “Before Swift Wind found me… I got engaged to a woman named Catra,” she began slowly. From there, she told him her story. All of the joy she’d found while still at Castle Fright, how they had planned to run and come home to Castle Grayskull. How they had been found out and separated. The bonding and then loss of Razz before she could complete her training. Glimmer pulling her out of her darkness and the friendship she found in her and Bow. Finding and freeing Catra. The now complicated relationships she had with both women and how all of it was tormenting her. How she had grown close to the Star Siblings, especially Starla, in such a short time only to let them down in the end.

Adam listened patiently through her story, only speaking to ask for clarification on this or that. He took her hand early on to give her something to squeeze when the story became painful. Slowly as she continued to speak, she sank into his side and he easily put his arm around her. He rested his chin to the top of her head, staring off into the trees as he considered. His poor sister had been through so much pain. He wished he had been able to save her sooner. Adora’s story was finally coming to it’s conclusion.

“So… I was going to go to Grayskull in three months and… hopefully, by then, have something figured out.” She sniffed, swiping at her eyes, her throat raw from speaking and crying. 

The Eternian prince sighed, hugging her tightly. “I’m so sorry,” he whispered. “Is there anything I can do?”

Adora looked over to see her friends dressed and ready for burial. Her heart twisted in both grief at their passing and gratitude to her brother for having taken care of this for her while she slept. “Help me?” She asked weakly, gesturing towards the bodies. She smiled weakly when he nodded and gave her a final squeeze before climbing to his feet and offering her a hand.

The twins stood finally, and Adam smiled softly before walking over and picking up the body of Jewelstar and carefully lying him in his grave. Once he did that, he moved on to Tallstar, giving her the same care, laying her to rest. He glanced around looking for the shovel to bury them, but paused seeing Adora was still kneeling before the last body. His expression twisted as he watched his sister cry over her friend. He came to kneel beside her, an arm coming around her as she tried to hide the evidence of her crying. “It’s alright Adora. You can cry. You don’t have anything to prove to me.”

She laughed weakly, resting her head against his shoulder. It was so strange how comfortable she’d gotten with this man so quickly. “She was only sixteen,” she whispered. “She had so much life left to live. It isn’t fair.”

“No, it isn’t,” he quietly replied.

“I don’t know what to do,” she whimpered. “I let her down. I let them all down. They’re dead because of me.” She sobbed into his chest, gripping at his tunic. “I don’t know what to do…”

He stared down at the linen wrapped corpse for a moment before answering. “Live for her. And forgive yourself…”

She stiffened at the echoed words. Had Starla not said the same thing the night before? She looked down at the body and with a shaking hand pulled back the burial cloth to look at her face. Starla forgave her. Would she have forgiven this?

He let out a sigh. “I’m sorry for your loss. It’s a terrible thing. Losing a friend.”

Adora traced a finger down the lovely face of her friend. With a sniff and a nod, she carefully replaced the linen before pulling away from him to set her in her grave. The twins set about to bury them in relative silence leaving them tired and sore when they finished standing at the foot of the graves. “I’ll come back and erect headstones for them,” she said quietly.

Adam reached out and squeezed her shoulder. “Did you want to say anything?”

She looked to him before her gaze once again landed on the piles of fresh upturned earth. She sucked in a deep breath. “Watching the Star Siblings being with one another was such a joy. Their comradery and love for each other was apparent in every breath they took. To the very end, Jewelstar was willing to give all to save his sisters. Tallstar was a stoic woman, but was always quick to smile for her brother and sister. And Starla…” She gritted her teeth, feeling her gut writhe. “I found such a dear and wonderful friend in her, she left a void that I doubt can ever be filled.” She sniffed, hanging her head low. “I won’t forget what you taught me in our short time together. Gods receive you into the halls of eternal peace.”

Adam closed his eyes, murmuring a silent prayer to himself, wrapping an arm around his sister in comfort.

They stood in silence for a moment before she finally said, “Goodbye my friends. I’ll see you in the next life.”

The prince carefully coaxed her away back to the fire. He set a bowl of stew in her hands before taking a seat beside her. He sighed when she only just stared down at the contents of the bowl, pushing it around with her spoon. “You should eat something Adora.”

“I’m not sure I could stomach it,” she murmured, setting it aside with a quiet ‘thank you anyway’. She tucked her knees beneath her chin watching the flames before her dance as the breeze tossed it about. “So. What now? Are you going home?”

He shook his head. “Not without you I’m not. Besides, I came out here for training anyway.” He watched Adora hum in acknowledgement and smiled weakly resting a hand on her shoulder. “Perhaps you could train with me. My mentor should be coming back sometime soon anyway.”

Adora winced at the concept before letting out a deep sigh. “I suppose. Razz never did get a chance to finish what she started. Someone should if I’m going to be useful.” Her nose twitched. “Besides… I haven’t been able to become She-ra since I left Glimmer and Bow.”

Adam frowned at that. “That’s. Odd. I’ve never had an issue becoming He-man.”

“How nice for you,” she grumbled, burying her face into her knees.

He pulled back his hand to rub the back of his neck in embarrassment. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to rub it in.” He dropped his hand to pick at the grass beneath him. 

She swallowed thickly. “I can’t help thinking… if I hadn’t lost She-ra… Maybe the Star Siblings would still be alive.”

“You can’t think that way.”

She laughed bitterly. “That’s how I think about everything. If I had touched the sword the moment I found it, Catra and I could’ve run away right then and there. If I hadn’t left her in the stable that day, she would never have been caught. If I’d never tried to destroy Castle Fright, Razz would still be alive.” She hunched over, gripping at her hair. Tears were pouring down her cheeks as she sobbed. “If I had done this, or not done that, maybe everything would be different, better. Maybe if I was smart enough, or strong enough I could’ve saved everyone.” She laughed again, shaking her head at herself. “But I’m not. I’m a miserable failure. And it doesn’t matter how hard I try, everything falls apart and it’s all my fault!” She pressed a hand to her mouth as she wept. “All my fault…”

Adam winced at just how hard she was being on herself. Had she been doing this to herself all these years? How did she bear it? “As a prince… as a warrior… you have to make a lot of hard decisions. You do your best with what’s in front of you. And sometimes people die.” He let out a deep breath as if he was seeing his own demons dance before him. “It’s never easy. But it’s all we can do. If you did your best to try and keep people alive and circumstances stand to oppose that goal… we can’t defy fate or the gods. We can only do what we can and hope for the best.” He took her hand from gripping at her hair and squeezed it tightly until she looked at him. “You are enough, Adora.” He frowned when she scoffed and averted her gaze. “No,” he snapped, gently taking her face in his hands to make her look at him. “You aren’t listening. _You are enough._ You aren’t all powerful, and you need to stop expecting yourself to be. You’re enough.”

She stared up at him with wide eyes, still shaking with sobs. His words were like healing waters to her soul, and she felt herself break in the sweetest way. She gritted her teeth at the unfamiliar feeling.

Adam let out a quiet breath and she cried, and he pulled her into his arms for a strong hug. “I know it hurts,” he whispered. “And I know this path is a hard one. Believe me, I bear the same burden you do, but you aren’t alone anymore. Do you hear me? I'm never leaving you alone like that again.”

Adora sniffed, finger lightly digging into his back, gripping his tunic. She took in several deep breaths before finally saying, “Thank you Adam. For all of it.”

“What are big brothers for?” He chuckled.

She pulled back enough to regard him with red puffy eyes. “‘Big brother’? I thought we were twins.”

“Mother says I’m older by five minutes,” he grinned.

She scoffed, giving him an affectionate shove. “Oh ok, five minutes. That’s not enough for you to be the ‘big brother’.”

“Still been alive longer than you,” he teased.

“Shut up!” She laughed, wiping at her face. “Gods, is this what having a brother is like? You’re insufferable already.”

They both erupted in laughter at that, hugging one another a bit tighter.

It was this moment when Adora finally felt her self imposed burdens lighten. She truly wasn’t alone anymore. Even if she never went home, even if Catra and Glimmer never wanted to speak to her again, she had Adam. He understood her cares and concerns in a way no one else ever could. At last, she could breathe.

~~~~

Catra gritted her teeth when the Thaymor captain sounded the retreat. She was angry, but he was right. This battle was lost. The Horde had more soldiers, more weapons, and even more warmachines had rolled up to aid the scores of fighters that were still on the field. She grabbed Scorpia’s elbow and ran, dragging her along. 

~

Catra was panting as she stared at the burning town of Thaymor in the distance, the townspeople all huddled together in a chorus of crying and worried whispers. Her ears laid back at the destruction left in the Horde’s wake. She swallowed thickly before turning to move among the throng of people, drowning out the sounds of despair along with the Magistrate giving instructions. She didn’t even notice Scorpia close on her heel.

She let out a sigh of relief when she found Finn sitting astride Melog, hurrying over to pluck them from the horse and hugging them tightly. “Are you alright?” She asked, setting them on their feet and checking them for any evidence of injury.

“I’m ok,” they said quietly before throwing their arms around her neck again, just wanting to be held.

Catra happily obliged, holding them tightly to her chest turning to Scorpia. “We need to get everyone to safety,” she said with a rough voice. 

Scorpia nodded. “I’m with you, wildcat. Whatever you need, I have your back.” 

She smiled weakly and gave a nod. With Finn still securely in her arms, the two women walked to the Magistrate and she swallowed thickly. “I’m sorry,” she said quietly. “I did what I could, but-” 

The Magistrate cut her off with a gesture. “Because of you, we all made it out alive. The captain told me how you fought. He said without the orders you gave in the fight, the soldiers that made it out would not have. Thaymor is in your debt, M’Lady.” She glanced around the crowd of her people. “Your suggestions got us this far. What do you suggest now?”

Catra chewed on the inside of her cheeks, looking down to the child in her arms. “We should go to Castle Grayskull,” she murmured. “They have the fortifications and resources to keep everyone safe and fed. They’re the closest city like it.”

The older woman nodded before giving the orders to her assistant to pass on before turning back to the magicat. “Thank you,” she said with a fierce determination.

She nodded in reply, cradling the back of Finn’s head to her shoulder. “Of course.” She rested her head against the blonde child’s, letting contentment run through her at the fact that everyone was still alive. She purred softly, letting herself take the win. Her ears perked up when she felt Finn purring in response and she smiled, their little claws lightly digging into her back. 

It was going to be alright.

~

The townspeople of Thaymor moved slowly as they traveled. Most were ill prepared for this sort of journey, and there were plenty of children and elderly, not to mention the injured soldiers. 

Catra sat atop Melog with Finn, an arm securely around them while her freehand held the reins.

Scorpia walked beside the horse glancing up at the pair of magicats. “Who’s the kid?” She finally asked. 

“Finn,” she said quietly, hugging them just a bit tighter as they slept. “They’re an orphan. They saw me when I first came to Thaymor and we just… connected.” She combed her fingers through their blonde hair. 

She chuckled at that. “They seem really taken with you. I’m glad you found each other.” She pressed her lips into a tight line. “Catra… how are you still alive? Weaver said that the armor being removed or damaged would’ve killed you.”

The magicat smiled wryly. “It did.” She answered simply. “But apparently, Adora has healing powers these days.”

Scorpia stared up at her, mouth agape. “I. Wow. That’s amazing.” She rubbed the back of her head with a claw. “So if you found Adora, where is she?”

“Right now?” She murmured. “I’m not sure. We’re supposed to reconnect in a few months.”

“Why do you seem less than enthused by that?”

Catra’s tail swished anxiously behind her. “Things between her and I are complicated right now. We decided to spend some time apart so we could… reevaluate.”

The taller woman harrumphed, crossing her arms over her broad chest. “And how do you feel about all of that?”

“Conflicted,” she answered with a sigh. “These years apart haven’t been kind to her. She’s…” Catra winced, hugging Finn just a little tighter. “She isn’t the woman I remember. Things between us…” She shook her head. “I don’t think they’ll work out.”

“That’s ridiculous!”

Catra blinked, glancing down at her, surprised at her sudden outburst.

“Wildcat, Adora is the best thing that ever happened to you! I know you never told me, but I know that when we were deployed, you fought so hard to get back to her. And when you were together, I had never seen you so happy. Things might be harder now, or different, but you can’t just give up without even trying!”

Her face crumpled at the encouragement, her ears pressing back against her head. “She’s with someone else, Scorpia.” She sighed when she was met with a quiet ‘oh’. Silence hung in the air between them for a moment. She started when she felt a claw rest on her leg.

“Don’t give up yet, Wildcat. You don’t know what’s going to happen. It isn’t over til it’s over.”

“This other woman… she’s better for her. She-”

“Says who?” Scorpia scoffed. “You’re a great person and you would do anything for her. If she’s too caught up in her own problems to see how wonderful you are, then that’s her loss.”

Catra smiled weakly at her, patting the top of her head that was in easy reach from horseback. “Thanks Scorpia. I appreciate it.”

“Anytime, Wildcat.”

~~~~

Adam stretched, bending down to touch his toes and then twisting at the waist. Once he’d finished he went over to where Adora was still sleeping. With the toe of his boot, he gently nudged her foot. “Come on Adora, time to wake up. We need to head back.”

She groaned rolling over to bury her face in her pillows. “No,” she whined. “Still sleepy…”

He frowned, letting out a huff. He turned to look at Swift Wind. “Is she always like this?”

_Since the day I met her._

He let out a bedraggled sigh before looking down at her. He pursed his lips before he got a wicked idea, grinning widely. In a quick motion, he scooped her up in his arms and tossed her over his shoulder.

She let out a shriek, struggling to free herself from his grip. “Adam! What the fuck?! Put me down!”

He cackled walking her over to Swift Wind, who he’d already saddled, and set her atop the horse. “This is what happens when you don’t wake up the first time.” He only laughed harder when she lashed out with a firm punch to his chest.

“I changed my mind. I want to go back to being an only child,” she growled.

“Too late,” he called over his shoulder, going to pack up her bedroll.

“I hate you.” Adora grumbled from her place atop her mount, glaring daggers into her twin’s back. She turned her glare on Swift Wind when he whinnied his laughter. “What?”

_You act like you hated that. But really, you loved it, didn’t you?_

Her nose twitched and she slapped the side of his neck. “Shut up Swift Wind,” she growled.

After a few moments more, Adam mounted Battlecat and they started their trek east. Despite the rude awakening, Adora took a moment to fully shake her grogginess. Finally when she came to herself she glanced at her brother.

“So where is it we’re going?”

Adam hummed and gave a nod. “I had an encampment not too far from here where my mentor had left me. We’re heading back to it for her to meet us.”

“Ah.” She thought on that for a moment. “Is she anything like Razz?”

He snickered, shaking his head. “Oh, I wish. Huntara is much harder and harsher than Madame Razz even on her worst day.” He glanced up at her. “But I think you’ll like her.”

“Oh yeah? Why’s that?”

“You’re both pains,” he teased before kicking into Battlecat’s sides to make him run faster.

Adora sputtered indignantly, digging her heels into Swift Wind to spur him on. “Oh, you are so going to get it!” The pair laughed as they teased and battered on their ride. Despite what a pest he was, she couldn’t deny that Adam had already wormed his way into her heart.

As they rode, Adam noted a stream of smoke in the distance and smiled. “That must be her.”

Sure enough, as they approached the encampment, a large hulking woman was sitting beside the fire, biting into a fish on a spit that she’d been cooking over the fire. “Took you long enough,” Huntara grunted, climbing to her feet. Her eyes narrowed at the newcomer. “Who’s blondie?”

Adora blinked, mouth agape as she stared at the other woman. Why was her heart fluttering like that? Stop it Adora! 

Thankfully, Adam intervened. “Huntara, this is Adora. My sister. She’s what kept me. I sensed a strange magical disturbance… and it was her.”

Huntara hummed walking over to study the young woman with an arched eyebrow. “You the one that left that headstone at Razz’s old place?”

She sucked in a breath, sobering suddenly. “Yes. That was me.”

The older woman nodded before walking back towards the fire. “Alright. So I assume that means you’re out a teacher and are lookin’ for a new one.”

“I am,” Adora answered, dismounting. “Can you do it?” She frowned when she was met with a snort.

“I’ve been training every He-man for the last few centuries. She-ra’s have always preferred Razz… but I guess since that old coot finally kicked it, you’re my responsibility now.” She glanced over her shoulder at both twins. “Come on then, square up. Show me what you’ve got.” She nodded towards Adam. “Meathead, you first.”

“Meathead…?” Adora murmured in confusion, looking to her brother. Sure, he was strongly built, but no more than she was. What an odd nickname.

Adam nodded hopping off of Battlecat and drawing a sword that was nearly identical to Adora’s, lifting it in the air. _“By the power of Grayskull!”_ He called out into the air, a familiar magical energy surging around him.

Adora watched in awe as she saw her brother grow to be perhaps half a head taller than she would’ve been as She-ra. But the magic didn’t create for him the shining white paladin’s armor she had expected. Instead, Adam had a leather war skirt that came down just past his knees, leather bracers and pauldrons that were secured with a cross of leather over his overly broad chest. Everything he wore was trimmed in dark furs, his blonde hair growing past her ears to the tops of his shoulders. She blinked, studying his almost inhumanely large muscles. It certainly was different from her own transformation. “Now I understand why she calls you ‘Meathead’,” she snickered. Though her laughter ceased immediately when Huntara shot her gaze towards her.

“Come on blondie, you next.”

She let out a deep breath. “Erm. That actually might be a problem, you see-”

“I didn’t ask for excuses, I asked you to transform. Now do it!”

Adora let out a yelp, pulling out her own blade and shouting, “For the honor of Grayskull!” She winced, knowing that nothing happened. She waited to be reprimanded, bracing for the angry woman’s wrath.

Huntara, however, just stared at her. “How long have you been unable to transform?”

She swallowed thickly. “About a month.”

With a heaving sigh, Huntara rubbed the back of her neck. “Looks like I’ve got my work cut out for me,” she muttered in irritation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surrrpriiiiiiise <3 
> 
> Because I've now reached this point, I can now tell everyone my bullet points in what I think makes excellent Catradora fanfiction.  
> 1\. Childhood Catradora  
> 2\. Once they've confessed, actually enjoying them being all cute and fluffy together  
> 3\. Finn.  
> 4\. Adora and Adam just being brother and sister
> 
> I'm a sucker for a good sibling relationship.
> 
> Alright. That's it. I have officially used up every scrap of story I wrote before posting for the first time. It's a bit scary. But I know where I'm going with it, and I'm so goddamn close to finishing. **deep breath** Writing this behemoth was quite the feat. I don't think I've ever pumped out so many words in such a short time. But I'm determined to get this thing done before I start school again in late January.
> 
> I hope you guys liked this chapter! It's pretty wild and action-packed compared to my usual faire, I know. But I hope it came out well all the same. 
> 
> I look forward to your life-giving kudos and comments friends <3
> 
> And like, sincerely, thank you. All of you. I was so nervous posting this for the first time. I very rarely share my writing with anyone, and this was the first time I've done fanfiction in like a decade. So really, all of your support has meant the world to me. All of your comments are saved in a special folder in my email that I plan to keep forever and always. 
> 
> I hope you all had a good holiday friends <3 I hope your 2021 is better than 2020 was.
> 
> EDIT: Ok, because I've gotten like three comments on this at least, Ima clarify something. I don't usually do this, but I can't not because its bugging me XD
> 
> Her being flustered by Huntara was _just_ a canon call back. Nothing more. I swear. She's not gonna be weird about it. I thought it was a funny throw away joke, and ya'll got grumpers. So. It's ok. Really. She won't do it again. She just thinks she's pretty. Be cool. XD
> 
> Here's my [twitter](https://twitter.com/xtitan_1) and my [tumblr](https://scorchflamedancer.tumblr.com/). Hit me up if you like. I love talking to people about this fic, Catradora, or just spop in general.


	15. Begin Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Catra,” Adora began slowly, “It’s you. It’s always been you. Through our childhood, you’ve been at my side, and when we were forced apart, I never stopped thinking about you. You’re the one I want to spend my life with, have a family with, grow old with.” She smiled widely, squeezing her hands. “I never want to be apart from you ever again,” she whispered, leaning in to press their foreheads together. “It’s you. Catra, I love you with all my heart..."

Adora grunted when she fell back against the ground. She huffed glaring up at Huntara standing over her, hands on her hips.

“Come on blondie, I know Razz taught you better than that.” She jerked her chin as instruction for her to stand. Huntara snorted in exasperation. “Again. Guard up this time.” She hunched slightly, balancing on the balls of her feet, her balled fists just in front of her face, elbows in tight.

The younger woman got to her feet, rage and agitation rolling off of her in waves. She found herself muttering obscenities before squaring up, maintaining her glare before she lunged at her. She faked with a right hook, before coming up with a knee to her side.

She easily switched up her stance and blocked the knee, ducking in to get a good body shot on her. “You’re telegraphing like mad.” She sighed, taking a step back. “You need a rest I think,” she murmured.

Adora shouted, kicking at the ground in frustration. “I don’t even know why we’re doing this! I know how to fight! My problem is that I can’t transform anymore!”

Huntara rolled her eyes, crossing her arms over her broad chest. “Apparently you don’t if you can’t land a single blow on me.”

“Listen here, you _arrogant_ \--”

“Alright, alright,” Adam said hurriedly, moving to stand between them. “Maybe Huntara’s right. You should take a break. You’re overworking yourself.”

Adora met his eyes before glancing towards Huntara again and letting out a slow breath. “Fine,” she murmured before going over to the low burning fire and taking a seat. She reclined on her hands as she stared into the flames, sensing her brother coming to sit beside her. “Don’t you dare defend her,” she hissed.

“I didn’t say anything,” he said quickly. He studied her for a moment, a slow smile coming over his features.

She saw it out of the corner of her eye. “What?”

“Nothing. Just. You have our mother’s temper,” he grinned.

Adora rolled her eyes, unable to keep her own smile at bay. She wasn’t sure why, but she found comfort in finding out bits of herself was like the parents she’d never met. It made her feel connected. But then again. Adora swallowed thickly, a familiar nervous energy filling her at the prospect of meeting them. They were concerns that she knew she could safely confide in her brother, but she just found it so embarrassing. Everything he’d said about their parents had been nothing but warm and positive. They wanted nothing more than for her to come home. So she kept them to herself. Best not to think too hard on it until the time came.

“So is she usually like this?” She inquired with an arched eyebrow.

Adam opened his mouth to reply, but was cut off before he could even speak.

“Yup,” said the burly woman dropping to the ground to sit across from them. Her sharp dark eyes narrowed as she studied the girl. “Adora,” she began slowly, “What do you think when you’re fighting?” 

“What are you talking about?”

“Who is it you’re fighting against? You tell me how ferocious you are in battle. Tell me what that drive is?”

Her nose wrinkled and she stared back into the flames. “Shadow Weaver,” she spat venomously. “Every time I cut someone down, it’s her face I see.”

“The woman that stole you away when you were a babe?”

She nodded, tucking her knees under her chin and wrapping her arms around her legs.

“Ah. That’s your problem. Or at least one of them.” She didn’t even pause when Adora stared at her in question. “Your mind is divided when you fight, that’s your issue. You’re imagining this monster when you should be focusing on your opponent.”

She barked a laugh. “She _is_ my opponent.” Maybe not in a physical sense, but Shadow Weaver was the one that started this whole mess. She kidnapped her. She beat and abused Catra, kept them apart. It was by her command that Razz was killed, that the Star Siblings parished, that countless lives had been ended and destroyed.

Huntara looked her dead in the eye, stone faced. “No. She’s your master. And you’re letting her be.”

Rage a bile grew in her stomach and she shot to her feet, and leapt over the small fire to tackle her. Though she was easily deterred, and tossed aside with a thud.

Dark eyes surveyed her as Adora laid sprawled out on the forest floor. “You’re letting her stay in your head. Letting her control you. Letting her poison in. If you ever hope to come into yourself as a fighter, and as She-ra, you need to win that battle first.”

Adam winced, slowly rising. “Maybe we should--” He hissed, cringing when Adora moved to attack her again with a shout and watched his teacher easily wrestle her back to the ground. Adora’s arm twisted behind her back, Huntara’s hand pressing down between her shoulder blades. “Or… not…” he murmured.

“What is she doing to you even now, blondie? The mere thought of her is controlling _who you are_! That is the most dangerous thing a fighter can feel, letting another rule you in your own head. It is absolutely unacceptable in someone welding the power of She-ra. You need to root her out.”

Adora yelled, trying to wriggle free of her grasp, bucking and twisting in the hold.

“You’ll never beat her until you’re able to quiet your mind,” she muttered struggling against her. “You need to let go of your anger. You need to _listen to me_!”

The blonde woman shouted, resentment growing in her as her mind flooded with the memories of every moment Shadow Weaver had manipulated her. Every time she was made to feel small or worthless, or worse, loyal. Every moment she defended the woman who she had thought was her mother. Shame built up in her at the memories. Profound embarrassment for having been taken in with her lies and passed them off as facts to any who would listen. Adora felt like such a fool for never realizing what a monster she was. She hated Shadow Weaver. Hated everything she had done, hated everything she was. She even hated herself a little bit for ever having been complicit in being kept as a pet. Because of her culpability, Razz was dead. Starla was dead. And Catra… She gritted her teeth, feeling her eyes well up with tears as she recalled the ugly scars that ran up and down the arms of her childhood friend.

Huntara waited, watching the girl’s face contort with emotion for a long moment. Slowly she loosened her grip bit by bit until she rose, hands falling to her side. “Perhaps with you, we should start with a different approach,” she murmured thoughtfully. She moved to sit once more, crossing her legs and resting her open palms on her knees. “Turn and face me.”

Adora swallowed thickly, aggressively swiping at her tears before doing as she was told and sitting across from her. She felt so drained and raw, staring numbly at her.

“Breathe,” she said softly, resting her hands on her own knees. “Steady your heartbeat. Focus on the world around you. You’re at one with your surroundings. The wind, the grass, the sky…” She took in a deep breath of her own. “Close your eyes. I want you to imagine blackness… and in that blackness, a flame.”

The younger woman let her shoulders relax and did what was asked of her, imagining the flame she described in an empty void.

“Now take all of your negative emotions. All of your fear, all of you doubt, all of your pain… and feed the flame. Continue doing so until there is nothing left. Your cares, your worries, the monster. It’s all fuel for the fire.” She breathed deeply as if she were doing the same. “Feed the flames, Adora.”

She scrunched her face in skepticism at first, but slowly, one by one, she imagined each emotion in the form of a terrible memory and fed the fire. It was a struggle, but eventually each succumbed to the flames. She winced, having difficulty letting go of her most present inner struggle. The contention between Glimmer and Catra, the decisions she had to make where they were concerned. She had so little time and no more answers than when she’d started.

“Let the past be in the past, blondie. The future is its own trouble,” she said gently. “You can’t change what you’ve done, or what has been done to you. You can’t say what tomorrow will bring. There is only now. There is only the next immediate step in front of you. You were weak once, but now you’re being reforged into something strong. And you will only be as strong as you choose to be.” She continued her rhythmic breathing. “Feed the flames… There is nothing but the void and the flame.”

It took a bit more time to push past this one. Finally, at least for the purposes of the exercise, she managed to set it aside and let the fire burn it away. Calm took the place where rage and shame had been, and she breathed in that peace.

Adam smiled, settling down himself as they continued with their meditation. Hopefully, it was the first step for Adora to regain her power.

~~~~

Catra stood leaning back against Melog’s hindquarters with a wide toothy grin, thumbs tucked into her sword belt. She watched fondly as Finn played with their friends. She thought they were just… the most fantastic child she had ever had the pleasure of meeting. Her heart melted when they brandished their wooden toy sword with the proper technique. She held so much pride in just watching them… be themself. It was the most amazing feeling.

Scorpia stood beside her, claws crossed over her broad chest. “Finn’s pretty fantastic.”

“I couldn’t agree more,” she said with no small amount of affection. 

She glanced over at her companion. “Do you plan on adopting them?”

The brunette blinked, the idea hitting her like a stampede of horses. How had that never occurred to her before? “I…” She stared down at her boots as her mind whirled in thought, gemstone eyes flicking up again to watch the young magicat. She let out a quiet breath. “I suppose… I should.” She already loved Finn so much. They were clearly fond of her and she had more or less become their full time caretaker, giving the couple that cared for the other orphans one less child to worry over. Her tail lashed back and forth as she considered. “Do you think… I could do it?”

“Do what?” Scorpia laughed. “Take care of them? You do that already.”

“No… I mean. Be a good mother.” Her ears laid flat against her head. “I’ve… never had a real one myself. I don’t know what I’m doing. I don’t know what I would do if I ever…” She winced. “If I ever hurt them…”

The white haired woman looked over at her with that kind smile of hers. “You will.”

The magicats nose twitched and she glared at her. “Thank you for the vote of confidence, _friend_.”

“No. I mean. You’ll make a million mistakes. You’ll fight, they’ll get hurt, you’ll get hurt. But in the end, none of that matters. You love them. You fought a battalion of Horde for them. I’ve seen you fuss over them. The love and care you put into that kid’s wellbeing…” she shook her head. “It’s amazing what you’ve been doing. You’re already a mother and you didn’t even realize it.”

Catra’s ears perked up a bit at the explanation, and her eyes found the… no. _Her_ child. The thought spread warmth in her chest, and she couldn’t help her wide smile. Perhaps she could do this. “Thanks Scorpia. You always know what to say.”

“Anytime, wildcat.”

Both women glanced over when the magistrate called everyone’s attention to her. “Alright everyone. It’s time to get back on the road. We’ll be at Grayskull in a matter of days if we’re able to maintain this pace.”

Catra looked over towards the children and cupped a hand around her mouth. “Finn! Come on!” She watched them wave goodbye to their friends before slipping their wooden sword in their belt and running over to her.

Finn grinned widely up at Catra, extending their arms up to be held.

With an indulgent chuckle, she scooped up the young magicat and held them in a tight hug, purring loudly at just holding them close. She let out a contented sigh feeling them purr in return. “Come on, little one. Time to ride.” An arm securely around them, she put a booted foot in the stirrup and climbed atop Melog. Once they were both comfortable in the saddle, she took hold of the reigns.

~

The ride was at an even pace, quiet chatter could be heard all along the caravan of refugees. But Catra was too busy lost in thought to speak. At least right away. She kept stealing glances down at Finn sitting in front of her, relaxed in leaning back against her. She reached up a clawed hand to comb her fingers through their blonde hair. “Finn,” she began gently to get their attention.

Bright blue eyes blinked up at her, leaning back til their head brush against her chest. “Yes?”

She swallowed thickly, nervous to even ask. “Do you… like me taking care of you?” She couldn’t help but chuckle at their wide grin.

“Of course! You’re smart, and strong. I wanna be just like you when I grow up.”

Catra smiled weakly at that, a wave of anxiety taking her at those words. Maybe this wasn’t a good idea. She had done too much, hurt too many to think she was worthy of having a child as wonderful as Finn. She wasn’t a person worth emulating. And if she adopted Finn… they would have no choice but to be like her. Would they? “Oh? You don’t want to be like She-ra when you grow up?” Her smile grew a bit more sincere watching their face contort adorably as they considered that.

“Well. Why not both?”

She barked a laugh at that, ruffling their hair. “You know what, little one? I think you’re incredible just as you are.”

They beamed up at her before looking forward again, their little chest puffed up with pride. Time passed in silence for a moment before a thought crossed their mind. “Why did you ask?”

“Hm?”

“You asked if I like you taking care of me. Why?”

She pursed her lips, debating with herself.

“Are you… wanting to stop?” Their ears drooped, seeming to prepare for the disappointment.

Fear spiked at that. “What? No! No, no no… I…” She inhaled deeply, staring forward, biting on the inside of her cheek. “I. I wanted to know… would you…” Come on Catra. Just ask them. Do it! “Would you… like it if I adopted you?”

They froze, their ears sitting straight and they twisted in their seat to stare up at her in awe. “R-really?”

When her gemstone eyes met their bright blue, she knew. She absolutely wanted this. “Yes. I’d like to adopt you Finn. If you’ll allow me.” Her heart twisted when she saw tears spring up in their eyes. 

They threw their arms around her middle and hugged her tightly, crying quietly into her chest. “Please,” they whispered between sobs.

Catra sucked in a shaking breath, feeling the moisture welling up in her own eyes. She dropped the reigns to hug them tightly to her chest. “Then I will,” she said hoarsely, her throat thick with emotion. She pressed a loving kiss to the top of their head. “You’ll be my child. And I’ll be your mother.”

“I would like that,” they said quietly, purring wildly. “I would like that very much.”

~~~~

Adora was digging through the saddle bags with shaking hands. Not just her’s, but Adam’s and Huntara’s. There had to be something. Anything. Finally, she found a flask deep at the bottom of Huntara’s bag and gasped in relief. She pulled off the top and drank deeply from the contents, slowly relaxing into a sitting position on the ground. She closed her eyes, savoring the flavor, the burn running down her throat. Once she finished the whole thing, she sat for a moment letting the alcohol do its work and slowly, one by one relax each tense muscle in her body.

“Adora?” Adam frowned at her, crossing his arms over his chest. He eyed the open bags, their contents spilled out all over the forest floor. “What are you doing?”

She swallowed before turning to look at him. “Nothing. I was just looking for something. Found it.” She grinned up at him, hoping he would ask after it further. But she had no such luck.

“What were you looking for in our bags?” His frown sunk lower when he noticed the flask. “Is drinking right now really necessary?”

She pressed her lips in a tight line before turning away from him and replacing the items back to their proper place, along with the now empty flask. “It’s fine,” she murmured. “I’ll clean all this up. I’m sorry.” A moment a silence passed before she added. “I’m going to need to go into a town for the day. There’s… something I need to get.”

“More alcohol,” he guessed. There was a sinking feeling in his gut. While much of her shaking had abated, he could still detect her tremors. “Adora,” he whispered, an ache in his voice. “What are you doing to yourself?”

A defensive rage bubbled up in her chest. “Leave it alone, Adam,” she hissed. Adora’s movements became more aggressive as she replaced the last few items to their bags. She got to her feet and turned to face him. “I know what you’re going to say. I don’t want to hear it, alright? Just let it go.” She moved to walk past him, but he took hold of her arm.

“You know I can’t do that,” he said quietly. “This isn’t good for you.”

She threw back her head in a sardonic laugh. “It’s about the only thing that’s made sense to me in half a decade.” She shrugged him off before stomping away.

Adam stared after her for a moment before he shook himself and followed after her. “Sense? This is the opposite of sense, Adora.”

“Let it go, Adam,” she growled.

He reached forward and grabbed her arm, attempting to pull her to a stop. “No! You can’t keep doing this, and I’m not going to let you avoid it anymore!”

Adora shrugged him off again, turning to glare at him. “I’m not avoiding anything. I’m handling it in my own way.”

“Bullshit,” he said, matching her stare. “Digging through people’s things to feed your addiction is not handling it. Getting the shakes,” he gestured to her still trembling fist, “is not handling it. You’re losing yourself, and you know it.”

Adora clenched her shakes fists in an effort to keep them still. “How was that not already glaringly obvious?” She scoffed, glancing away from him. “It’s like you haven’t even been paying attention. My life is a mess. It always has been. But this is the only thing that gives me any real sense of control.” She glared at him once more. “And you aren’t taking it away from me.”

He groaned, shaking his head. “I’m not… That’s not…” He stopped, exhaled, then started over. “I’m not your enemy,” Adam said, his tone softening. “I’m trying to help you. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it over and over until I get through that thick skull of yours. You’re not alone anymore.”

She crossed her arms over her chest, breathing deeply. “Maybe not. But that doesn’t mean you can quiet the voices in my head. The nightmares.” Adora swallowed, averting her gaze. “This is the only way I’ve ever been able to combat them. Otherwise… I’m just living in torment.”

He exhaled again, this time in a bit of relief, and nodded slowly. “Ok… I know it’s not the same, but… You know I’m here, right? You can wake me up any time, and I’ll listen. Hold you, if you need it. All you need do is ask.”

Adora eyed him skeptically. “You do realize I have nightmares every time I go to sleep without drinking.” She arched an eyebrow at him. “If you want me to stop, you’re asking that I wake you up every single night.”

Adam paused, considering. “I mean. That’s what you go through, so… I can handle it. I’d rather do that and be here for you than… To watch you poison yourself with drink…”

She stared at her boots as she idolly kicked at the ground. “Would it really be that bad to just… let me keep drinking?”

“Yes,” he grunted without skipping a beat. He reached forward and took her hand, squeezing it tightly. “I worry about you, sister mine,” he said softly. “And I want you to be well. You promise me you’ll stop? Or at least that you’ll try?”

Adora felt her heart twinge at the words, but nodded. “I promise I’ll try.” She smiled weakly, squeezing his hand in return. “I suppose I should thank you… but really, I’m just irritated,” she smirked.

He grinned and pulled her into a too-tight hug. “I love you too.”

Adora laughed, elbowing him in the gut. “Gods, you’re insufferable,” she snickered.

He grunted, releasing her and ruffling her hair. He decided to lean into this whole insufferable motif. “You’re welcome.”

~~~~

The Thaymor refugees made it into the city with little hassle. While there was plenty of space for them in the lower districts, there wasn’t very much housing available. Thankfully, families and women with children were given priority. Especially if they were able to contribute to the city with a trade of some sort. Catra had right away volunteered to join the militia, especially with the recommendation of the Magistrate and Thaymor militia captain. This got her, Scorpia, and Finn in their own apartment for the time being. Being one of the newest members of the guard, it left her taking the graveyard shifts. 

Catra sighed heavily, hanging up her sword belt near the door when she came home early one morning. She scrubbed her clawed fingers through her short hair and looked around the small space. She smiled softly when Finn crawled out of bed and wandered over to her, extending their arms to her. She easily picked them up, resting the child on her hip as she went to sit down. “Good morning, little one,” she said softly before pressing a kiss to their temple.

“Morning mama,” they yawned, leaning against her chest, purring softly.

She reached over to the side table to grab a hairbrush and started to carefully run it through her child’s hair. She grinned past the heavy fatigue in her bones, just happy to be able to call them that. The adoption had gone through seamlessly, the couple that ran the orphanage was more than thrilled that Finn had finally found a home. She hummed quietly to herself as she continued her task, carefully working through the knots, heedless of the quietly snoring Scorpia.

“Mama?”

“Yes, baby?”

Finn frowned, reaching up to trace a claw along Catra’s forearm. “What are these?”

Catra froze, swallowing thickly at the question. She debated with herself for a moment, torn between honesty and protecting them from the cruelty of the world. She sighed quietly, knowing that her child had already seen enough of the world’s ugliness to deserve the truth. “They’re scars,” she answered in a soft voice, continuing to brush their hair. “Someone… that was supposed to take care of me decided that they would rather hurt me instead. Over time… the scars grew. I have them all over my body.” She watched as their ears drooped at the information.

“Why did they hurt you? That isn’t right…”

“No. It wasn’t.” She let out a long breath, setting the brush aside and hugging them tightly. “I don’t know why she decided to hurt me instead of take care of me. Sometimes… people just make poor choices that hurt people. And sometimes there’s nothing we can do to change them. But,” she pulled back to meet their shining blue eyes. “We have to decide when we’re hurt to be better people. To make sure that we don’t let their ugliness taint us. To help other people rather than hurt them. To rise above. Do you understand, little one?”

Finn nodded. “Yes, mama,” they said with a quiet seriousness.

She cupped their cheek in her hand, gently tracing a thumb along their cheek. “And I promise you… I will never hurt you the way she hurt me. And I will do all I can to protect you from any that dare try.”

They smiled widely, wrapping their arms around her in a tight hug, one Catra easily returned. The magicats purred loudly as they embraced one another, content to just sit there for a moment.

Apparently their purring was so loud, that it woke Scorpia. With a loud yawn and stretch, she sat up in the large communal bed. She smiled seeing the mother and child seeming to be having a moment, and decided it was best not to interrupt them. With making as little noise as possible, she climbed out of bed and went to their small kitchen to make breakfast for them all.

~~~~

Things had not improved since Adora had quit drinking at her brother’s insistence. In fact, things seemed to only be getting worse. The shakes, certainly had. She was constantly nauseous and fatigued. She’d never felt so sick in her life. She wanted nothing more than to drink. To push away how terrible she felt. To quiet the torturous chorus of thoughts that ran through her mind. But she promised she would try. And she had to give it more than a few days before calling it quits.

Adora sat before the fire one night after a particularly terrible nightmare, her arms wrapped tightly around her knees as she stared into the flames. The meditative technique that had been taught to her was far away, and all the feelings that she would have fed into the flames consumed her being. The shame, the pain, the rage, the self-loathing and all other manner of torment. She closed her eyes tightly as if it would keep the demons away. She felt a warm presence sitting beside her and she recoiled slightly.

“Hey.” Adam’s voice was gentle, intending to calm her. He observed that she looked tense, as if she were about to snap.

She didn’t answer him. Didn’t even acknowledge that he was there. She just kept staring into the fire.

He leaned over and peered over at her, his brow furrowing deeper as he looked at her dazed expression. “Adora?”

“Hm?”

“Can you hear me?” he asked.

She barely gave a nod, her grip on her legs tightening slightly.

The prince was quiet for a moment until he scooted closer to her, carefully put an arm around her shoulder, and pulled her close. “You’re not okay, are you?”

Adora sucked in a ragged breath and she slowly shook her head, shutting her eyes tightly. Silence stretched before she finally spoke in a hoarse voice, “I haven’t been in a long time.”

He sighed softly, hugging her a bit tighter. “I know…” he whispered.

“You really don’t,” she muttered, burying her face into her knees.

Adam paused. “Then tell me…”

She swallowed thickly. “Nightmares,” she said simply. “It’s nothing new.”

“What’s in your nightmares?” he asked, realizing that he’d never asked that before.

Adora shrunk back from the question, debating for a moment. It wasn’t as if she hadn’t told him her life’s story anyway. “They’ve all been different. Shadow Weaver catching me and bringing me back. People I love telling me that it was all a lie. People I’ve let die telling me that their blood is on my hands. But lately? Catra and Glimmer. Fighting. To the death.” She winced.

He began combing his fingers through her hair, gently, carefully working their way into her undercut. “Why are they fighting in your dream?” 

She closed her eyes, finding the sensation grounding. “For the same reason they fight in life. They hate each other. Or at least, can’t stand the idea of the other being with me.”

The young man nodded slowly, taking that in and carefully thinking through his wording before he spoke. “Does one of them win, or do they both die?” His question was asked softly. He wanted to talk her through this to the best of his ability. It was the least he could do after taking her one comfort away. He reminded himself it was better than letting her slowly kill herself with it. 

“They always die,” she whimpered, digging the heels of her hands into her eyes.

He sighed quietly and hugged her a little closer at that. “I’m sorry,” he murmured. “You really love them, don’t you?”

She nodded before allowing herself to slowly sink into his side. “I don’t want to hurt them.”

“I know,” he said softly. “But… You can’t keep living like this. As things are right now, you’re hurting them and yourself. It has to end, Adora.”

“So what do I do?!” She gritted her teeth to keep them from chattering. “Everything I do seems to be the wrong thing! I always end up hurting someone…”

He exhaled softly, pausing before he spoke, and when he did it was measured and careful. “You have to make a choice. One or the other, or… let go of both of them. Yes, they’ll get hurt. You’ll hurt. But maybe, you can all start to heal. Move on. And finally be happy.”

Adora gave a sardonic laugh. “I don’t deserve to be happy.”

He blinked down at her. “What?”

“After everything I’ve done? Everyone I’ve hurt? Why should I let myself be happy?"

His expression fell as he took that in. “Adora… So that’s what this is? You’re… punishing yourself?”

She winced, never having heard it said so plainly before. “I suppose I am.”

“Five hells,” he muttered, rubbing his face with his free hand. “Adora… You can’t… That’s not…” he struggled with his words for a moment before he finally just huffed. “Shit.”

She shrunk in on herself, moving away from him to sit up. 

He watched her, then clasped his hands in front of him as he ordered his thoughts. “You don’t deserve that,” he murmured. 

“Why?” She murmured. “Because I’m She-ra? Because I’m a princess?” She scoffed, shaking her head. “It’s such a joke. All of it.”

He shook his head. “Because you’re a person,” he said softly. “You’re a human being who’s been hurt and made mistakes.”

“A mistake? You’d call letting people be killed, be tortured a mere mistake?”

He turned and looked at her in that moment. “Yes. I would. A mistake. Because you’re young. Inexperienced. Didn’t know all the details, so you made decisions that turned out to be not good decisions because you were ignorant to the truth. Mistakes, Adora.”

“How many times can I use that as an excuse? How many lives will have to be paid in exchange?”

He turned and stared into the fire again, his face going somber. “It’s not an excuse if it’s the truth. We’re in the middle of a war, and we’re two people that unfortunately happen to be in positions of power.” His blue eyes flicked to meet hers. “Do you know how many men I've sent into battle, how many squadrons I’ve sent out where only a fraction of them have returned, or none of them at all? How many men I've trained with, only to watch them die in front of me? How many people have placed their lives in my hands? In my sword?” He gave a huff and shook his head. “This is the reality of our position, and the reality of war. The price for our miscalculations is the death or torture of someone, whether we like it or not.” He looked back at the fire. “I get it, Adora. I really do.”

“So your miscalculations have mortally wounded the person you love most?” She eyed him skeptically. 

He met her eyes again. “You thought she was dead, Adora.”

“That doesn’t erase the years of pain and torment she endured.”

“That you didn’t do! Shadow Weaver did those things to her. Shadow Weaver hurt her. Not you. You did everything in your power to save her. But you thought she was dead. There was nothing you could do.”

“I should have tried harder! How could I have done any less for the love of my life?! I should have kept looking, I should’ve torn the castle grounds apart until I found her, I--”

“And if you had thought that there was even the slightest chance that she were still alive, you would’ve done all of that and more.” Adam watched her as she stared blankly into the fire. “Wouldn’t you?”

“Yes,” she whispered fervently. “Of course.”

“So what good does it do repeatedly chastising yourself over the past you can’t change?” It was phrased in the form of a question, but really her brother was pleading for her to stop. “Adora… Please. You can’t live your life like this. You can’t spend every moment beating yourself into the ground. You did your best, and that was enough.”

“But Catra--”

“Is still alive,” he affirmed, her bright blue eyes growing sharp. “Because of you.”

Adora blinked up at him, her mouth working to try and contradict him.

“When you were children, you saved her from a river,” he reminded her. “When you saw her being mistreated as adolescents, you defended her. When you learned how Shadow Weaver was abusing her as grown women, you shielded her.” He felt a growing sense of relief seeing the calm expression coming over her features. “And then when you found her in Dryl, you freed her from a steel prison and reversed that terrible spell.” He took her hand in his, giving it a firm squeeze. “Catra is alive. And for the first time in her life, she’s finally free. That’s all because of you, Adora. Catra is free. Because of you.”

Her jaw hung open in shock as she processed all he’d said, her gaze shifting to stare at the fire.

“Where you’ve done well, you need to allow yourself to take credit. Where you’ve erred… forgive yourself. When new circumstances arise that leave you to make difficult decisions, just do your best. That is all that can be asked of you. Know that it’s enough.” He wrapped his knuckles on the side of her skull, smiling affectionately. “You are enough. I’m going to keep saying that til it gets through that thick head of yours.”

She smiled weakly, swiping his hand away. Her expression smoothed over as she rolled all of that over in her mind. Adora sucked in a deep breath, feeling foolish. Hadn’t Starla told her much of the same? She shook her head weakly at herself. Why did this lesson need repeating? She combed her fingers through her undercut as she stared into the flames.

Adam let her sit with her thoughts for a moment before scooting a bit closer to her. “You know… I think I may also have a suggestion concerning your other problem…”

“Hm?” She arched an eyebrow, turning to face him. “And what might that be?”

He smiled softly at her. “You called Catra the love of your life… twice. This whole conversation… revolved around her. Now I don’t know Catra, or your relationships with the pair of them… but I believe it’s something to consider.”

Adora blinked, turning to stare at him. “I…” She stammered, not quite sure what to say.

One blonde eyebrow arched over the other as the prince’s smile widened a touch. “You look so surprised.”

“Well… I mean. I guess I am…” She frowned, the wheels turning in her mind.

Adam waited for a moment, then lightly elbowed her. “Come on. Talk to me.”

“I just. I don’t know,” she murmured. “I suppose I just never thought about it that way.”

He arched an eyebrow. “Never thought about Catra being the love of your life? Considering how easily you referred to her as such, I’d say that’s bullshit.”

Adora rolled her eyes at him. “No, not that. Just. I always thought about the problem with the pair of them. As a pair. Not broken down that way.”

“Why ever not?” He was genuinely curious. 

Her nose twitched. “It’s just something I’ve struggled with since childhood. I always see a problem on a large scale.” She smiled softly. “Catra was always really good at helping me break things down into smaller pieces…”

His eyes looked over her face, and he smiled softly before he glanced back at the fire. “Seems like she’s good for you.”

Adora fought to keep the smile off her face, her cheeks hurting as a result. “I… suppose she is,” she said quietly. When they were children, Catra had always known what to say to ground her when the world was spinning out of control. Catra’s very presence tethered her when she felt like she wasn’t even in her own body anymore. Since she’d known what love was, she’d loved Catra. Even in all their years apart, that never stopped. Whenever she closed her eyes and imagined that future where she allowed herself happiness, a family, it was always Catra at her side. Glimmer may have been like the moon, but Catra was the sun. Warmth and light and joy. Basking in brilliance and life. Adora hadn’t realized how starved she had been for those warm rays until she was once again bathed in it’s golden light. She closed her eyes, smiling softly. When all seemed lost, there was Catra. When she reached for hope, she found it in Catra. When she attempted to claim her own power… 

The blonde woman opened her eyes and climbed to her feet, drawing the Sword of Protection from its sheath and studied the glowing ruins along it’s blade. Adora sucked in a deep breath before holding the sword high before she shouted into the night, “For the honor of **_Grayskull_**!” 

Waves of almost tangible glowing energy flowed out from the pale gem fixed in the center of the crossguard of the blade. The magic sparkled and shined as it filled the space in the clearing, completely enveloping Adora’s body. Shimmering light seemed to coat her being and as it faded it left behind shining white pearlescent armor with golden inlay and gilding spreading over the surfaces in fine curves and sharp angles in starburst shapes climbing up her greaves, rerebraces, and gauntlets, the bursts blooming on her pauldrons and joint cops as well as her breastplate. Her blonde hair shone like the sun as it grew in length and volume as her long ponytail as well as a red cape whipped behind her in the flow of energy.

Adam grinned widely staring up at his sister, taking in the beauty and power of her She-ra form. He let out a low whistle in admiration. “I always wondered how it transformed you.”

She chuckled, resting a gauntleted hand at her hip, the metal clinking where it met the fauld. “Well… here I am.” She held out her blade, studying her own reflection in it. “Finally,” she said softly.

~~

Huntara stood with her hands folded behind her back as she watched the twins spar in their powered forms. The clang of the magical blades meeting repeatedly echoed through the trees with every pass. Adora had certainly made a lot of progress recently, and was pleased. Adam had refused to disclose exactly what it was that had changed that allowed her to regain her She-ra form, but she decided that so long as it was attainable now, she didn’t particularly care how it happened. “Keep your guard up, meathead,” she called out. “Can’t have your little sister showing you up.”

Adora scoffed glaring her way. “Five minutes does _not_ make me the _little_ sister!” She complained. Though the distraction was just enough for Adam to break her stance, and knock her to the ground.

Adam grinned down at his twin that had now turned her glare on him. “Sorry Adora,” he chuckled, extending a hand to her.

She moved her lips in indignant mockery before taking his hand and yanking him down with her. She sat up, getting to her feet on her own. She turned to Huntara, sheathing her blade. “So. What now?”

“Now?” The older woman repeated with an arched eyebrow. “Now we go back to Grayskull. We’ve already stayed longer than we intended.” She motioned around their little camp. “The two of you need to pack all of this up. It’ll take a week to get home and I for one, would like to sleep in a real bed by then.”

Adora swallowed thickly, doing a quick mental count. She blinked as she realized the four months was up in a couple weeks. It would mean she would get there early. It would mean Adam would want her to meet their parents. Without Catra. She pressed her lips in a tight line, letting the magic of She-ra flow out of her body. She quietly set about her task of helping clean everything up.

Adam whistled happily to himself as he did the same, clearly ready to go home, and more than a little excited to be bringing his long lost sister with him. He smiled over at her and paused when he was her very plain anxiety. “What’s wrong?”

She let out a deep breath, stomping out what was left of the small fire. “We’re going back earlier then I had expected.”

He arched an eyebrow at her. “How do you mean?”

“I was meant to meet Catra and Glimmer in Grayskull after four months. We’re a few weeks shy of that mark.”

He nodded slowly. “Is that a bad thing? It’ll give you a chance to settle in and relax before they arrive.” He frowned when she shook her head.

“No… I mean. I suppose so. Just.” She scrubbed a hand through her undercut. “Catra… was going to…” She winced, realizing how childish she was about to sound. “She had promised to be with me when I met our parents.”

The prince nodded slowly in understanding. “I see.” He considered that for a moment. “Well… perhaps you can… put off meeting them until she arrives? Or, who knows? She could already be there.”

Adora sincerely doubted that. She set about clearing up the dishes from that morning. “We’ll see.” 

He watched her for a moment more before coming beside her, and playfully elbowing her side. “Hey. Whatever happens… we’ll face it together. Alright? Catra isn’t the only one that has your back anymore.”

She blinked up at him before she smiled at him. “I suppose you’re right.”

“I bet you’re getting so tired of saying that,” he teased, leaping out of the way when she let out a frustrated noise and reached to land a punch on him. He laughed, turning to sprint away from her when she pursued.

“Hey!” Huntara bellowed at them. “Enough of the horseplay, you two! I want this place cleaned up in an hour!”

~~~~

Glimmer quietly closed the door behind her as she stepped out of her mother’s office and she sighed, heavily leaning against the door.

“Well?” Bow asked expectantly. “What did she say?”

She scoffed, pushing herself off the door as the pair began walking back towards her rooms. “She wants us to go to Grayskull now,” she grumbled. “She said that we took too long on our mission to meet with all of the other princesses, and are by extension, late in our trip to meet with them.”

He winced, realizing what that meant for his friend on a personal level. “Are you alright?”

The silence dragged out as they walked, and Glimmer wrapped her arms around herself as she focused on breathing. “I’m not sure yet,” she murmured. “I suppose we’ll find out when we get there.”

Bow nodded, an arm coming around her shoulders to hug her to his side. “Well. No matter what happens, I’ll be at your side the whole way.”

She smiled gratefully up at him. “Thank you Bow. For everything.”

~~~~

Adora stared up at the high walls of Grayskull, swallowing thickly. She felt every inch of her begin to shake as she sat atop Swift Wind. This… all of this… was her’s. Her family’s ancestral home. Her family responsibility. Parents she’d never met. A people she had never known. How was she to do it all? Be a princesses in a forgine land _and_ be She-ra. She glanced down when she felt her brother nudge her calf.

“It’s alright,” Adam reminded her gently. “I’ll be with you every step of the way if you need it.”

She smiled down at him, reaching over to ruffle his blonde hair. “Thanks, brother mine,” she chuckled. She looked forward, sucking in a deep breath. Focus on the small problems first, then work your way up to the bigger ones. With a nod to indicate she was ready, the three of them rode in through the gates.

Adam smiled once they entered the city, taking in the familiar smells, sounds, and sights that reassured him that he was home. He let out a deep contented breath as he let his gaze wander. He blinked when he caught sight of a familiar face. “Bow?” He called over the crowd. The figure turned to confirm that it was in fact his old friend. Adam laughed, jumping off of Battlecat and running to meet him. The men embraced with loud excited chattering.

Glimmer took half a step backwards, smiling to herself at the reunited friends.

“What are you doing outside of the palace?” Bow teased, playfully punching his bicep. 

“Just got back from training with Huntara.” Adam looked down at Glimmer and smiled weakly, pulling her into a much more gentle hug. “Good to see you too, my friend.”

“Hi Adam,” she chuckled, hugging him tightly. She arched an eyebrow at his strange expression when they pulled back. “What?”

“I found Adora on my travels,” he said softly.

She blinked up at him in shock before turning to see where he’d left Battlecat. And there she was, sitting atop her steed. Her breath caught when their eyes met and she swallowed thickly.

“You two have some catching up to do,” he said patting her shoulder.

Adora breathed in deeply at the sight of Glimmer, resolve settling in her bones as she dismounted. “You alright to get back from here Swift Wind?”

 _Please. Who do you think I am?_ He snorted before nuzzling her cheek. _I’ll be in the royal stables if you need me, She-ra. It’ll be alright._

She nodded and gave him a final pat on his neck before walking towards the small cluster of friends.

Glimmer smiled weakly at the sight of Adora, and cautiously stepped towards her to meet in the middle and give the pair of them some privacy. “Hey,” she said softly, opening her arms hopefully. She let out a relieved breath when the taller woman easily went into her arms and they embraced one another. “I missed you,” she murmured into her shoulder.

“I missed you too,” Adora replied just as quietly. She gritted her teeth, not regretting what she had to say by any means, but dreading it all the same. Her breathing grew heavier, more ragged as her anxiety grew.

The Brightmoon princess pulled back, holding her at arm's length. “You look good,” she said softly. “Happier.”

“I am happier,” she said brightly. “Finding myself again… finding Adam. It’s made a world of difference.” She glanced over her shoulder to see the man in question talking animatedly with Bow and she smiled fondly at him. Adora turned to face Glimmer again, seeing the burning question in her eyes that she refused to give voice to. She knew she couldn’t put this off any longer. “We have… a lot to talk about,” she finally admitted.

Glimmer shut her eyes, the ache of disappointment already sinking deep in her gut. She knew. She knew what that meant. She only prayed it would be quick and kind. “I guess a lot has happened since we parted.”

“Yes,” she confirmed reaching to take Glimmer’s hand. “That in and of itself is quite a tale.” She sucked in a deep breath. “Glimmer…” She chewed on her lip, averting her gaze.

“Just say what you need to, Adora.” She couldn’t handle the prolonged torture.

“I… I’ve spent so many hours agonizing over this. It’s been hard to sleep. I don’t want to hurt you. Truly. It’s the last thing I want to do. I care about you so much.”

“But you’re going to, regardless.” She gave a sardonic laugh. “Because you can’t bring yourself to hurt _her_.”

“That isn’t it.” Adora shook her head vigorously. “It isn’t about who I want to hurt the least. If I had it my way, no one would be hurt.”

“But you can’t do to her what you’re doing to me,” she retorted.

She closed her eyes, her shoulder slumping slightly. “I… I’m so sorry Glimmer.”

“Adora… please. Just say it.” She had to say it. Glimmer needed to hear it. The spoken words would finally make it all real, though in her heart of hearts she’d known this whole time it would come down to this.

The blonde woman winced and took in a deep breath before meeting her gaze. “It’s Catra. It has _always_ been Catra. She’s it for me.”

“Even though you love me too?” Her whisper was heavy with emotion, tears pricking her eyes.

“Yes,” she said with finality. “Even still. It’s Catra.”

She shut her eyes, carefully slipping her hand out of Adora’s. “I see.”

Adora steeled herself, becoming more sure with every word spoken. “I know that I’ve hurt you, and for that I am sorry. I don’t expect you to stay with me or welcome me at Brightmoon anymore. Don’t feel obligated just because of your relations with Grayskull.” She blinked in surprise when Glimmer scoffed at that.

“Please. You aren’t getting rid of me that easy,” she said with a smirk, clearly attempting to hide the pain in her eyes. “I’ve been your loyal friend and companion even before we became involved. While you learn your role here and with the Rebellion, you’re going to need me around.”

She smiled softly at that. “I expect I will. Thank you for that.” Everything about Adora seemed so different then when they had parted ways. The person that was the living embodiment of anxiety and grief she had once been was so confident now, so sure of herself. Shoulders squared, chin lifted, and a blazing fire in her ocean blue eyes. That wasn’t something Glimmer had seen in her before. That spark. That drive. That determination.

Glimmer’s smile grew softer, but the pain didn’t abate. “I’m so pleased that you’ve found yourself again. I’m looking forward to getting to know this new Adora.”

Recollection surged in her eyes, and she extended a hand to her. “Good to meet you Glimmer. I’m Adora of house Grayskull.”

Violet eyes blinked in confusion, before she let out a chuckle. She took her hand and gave it a firm shake. “I’m so pleased to meet you Adora.” The pair shared a bout of quiet laughter before they grew still, dropping their hands. “I hope she treats you well. That she makes you happy.”

Adora shrugged, hooking her thumbs absently into her belt. “I suppose that’s up to her. But even if not… I’ll manage.”

Glimmer studied her for a moment, not sensing even a bit of the fragility and brokenness she’d come to be so familiar with in their time together. “You will, won’t you?” Her smile widened when she was met with a nod. “Even so. I… I’m sorry for how I treated you both. Her especially. It wasn’t right. None of it.”

“I appreciate that.” They stood for a moment before it was Adora’s turn to open her arms in hopes for another hug. She let out a sigh of relief when it was granted her. “Thank you Glimmer. For everything.”

“Of course, sweetheart,” she murmured, hugging her a bit tighter. She let out another shaking breath, feeling the tears coming on. She cleared her throat and pulled back enough to gently press her lips to her cheek. “We’ll catch up another time.” She swiped at her eyes with her palm. “In the meantime. You… should go find her. I heard a magicat’s been seen frequenting the stables.” She resisted grimacing at seeing Adora’s eyes brighten at the news.

“Thank you,” she said in hushed tones, giving her a final squeeze before releasing her and running off.

Glimmer couldn’t help but laugh knowing she was running in the wrong direction. She’d figure it out eventually, she decided. She needed time to herself to sort out her own feelings before she had to have her meeting with the king and queen.

“Hey,” said a low husky voice.

She turned to see her best friend approaching, putting a hand on her shoulder. “Hey Bow,” she said weakly, finally letting the tears fall.

Bow let out a deep breath knowing what that meant, and wordlessly pulled her into a warm embrace. “It’s alright,” he whispered as she began to cry into his chest. “It’ll be alright. I’m here. I have you.”

~~

After a long nap from her previous shift, Catra was humming happily to herself as she brushed through Melog’s coat at the local stables. She was considering taking Finn for a ride later and wanted to be sure her gelding was ready when the time came. The brush froze, only inches over the sleek black coat and she stared out into nothing as she processed a familiar scent. She blinked, her ears twitching to listen carefully. Was it? She turned to look out of the stable before cleaning up after herself and putting away the grooming supplies before taking a step outside, clapping the dust off her hands. She looked around, her ears straining against the bustling of the busy district. Catra cracked a smile when she heard her name being called by a voice so familiar she’d never forget it. “Over here, Adora,” she shouted into the crowd, letting out a laugh seeing her breaking her way through the throng of people.

Adora grinned when she saw her and sprinted towards her, throwing her arms around her in a strong embrace that was easily returned. They stood there for a moment or two before Adora took Catra’s hand, dragging her away to somewhere more private. She sucked in a deep breath when she finally turned to face her, not having released her hand. In fact, she squeezed it a bit tighter. “Catra,” she said quietly, a softness to her eyes.

Catra cracked a wry smile. “Hey Adora.”

The blonde couldn’t keep herself from giggling at the familiar greeting that always seemed to have some sort of undercurrent to it. “How did you beat me here?”

The magicat rubbed the back of her neck. “I’ve been here for a few months now.”

“What for?” She inquired with an arched eyebrow. 

She let out a long slow breath. “Thaymor fell,” she said with a wince. She saw the crippling fear flash over Adora’s face and spoke quickly to immediately alleviate it. “No, no, it’s ok. Everyone made it out alright.” She squeezed the hand that still held her. “Finn is ok,” she assured her.

Adora placed her free hand over her chest, as if giving her heart permission to keep beating. “Gods, don’t scare me like that,” she hissed. She blinked, realizing something. “Wait. How do you know Finn?”

Catra arched an eyebrow at her. “Oh I don’t know. How ever would I have come to know the only other magicat I’ve ever seen?” Her tail came up to flick at her cheek and the two women laughed.

Adora looked down at their clasped hands for a moment, and squeezed a bit tighter. “We need to talk,” she said quietly. "I have… so much to say."

The magicat let out a deep breath, glancing over at a nearby wall. With a nod, she led her over and the pair leaned against it before sliding down to sit. “I suppose this is a bit overdue.” Amber and sapphire eyes roved over Adora critically. “I take it you’d like to go first?” She smiled softly when she was met with a nod. “Say on, then.”

The blonde woman took a deep breath, shifting her grip to lace their fingers together. “When we parted,” she began slowly, “The first time, that is. Swift Wind was the one that carried me away. I know he was just trying to protect me, but I screamed at him to turn back.” She shut her eyes tightly, leaning her head back against the wall. “He made me a deal that he would take me to get training before he’d let me try and save you. That’s what I did for a handful of months. I don’t remember exactly how long I stayed there. Every day was a blur as I pushed trying to get back to Castle Fright. My mentor, Madame Razz, she was a wonderful batty old woman,” she chuckled.

The brunette smiled as she listened intently.

“Finally… the day came that she decided I was ready. We stormed the Castle and I found Scorpia living in your old quarters.” Her nose twitched at the memory. Though she was sure the kind woman thought she was speaking truth at the time. “She told me you were dead. And… I snapped. I was determined to burn the place to the ground… and my brashness got Razz killed in the process.” She swallowed thickly, needing a moment.

Catra looked at her for a moment, before leaning against her shoulder, purring slightly in hopes that it would soothe her.

Adora smiled, leaning her head against her’s in return. “I spent the next four years as a vagabond drunk. It was just me and Swift Wind and a bottle of whatever was closest. I drowned myself in booze and the blood of any Horde that dared breathe my air. I went looking for fights wanting to be a thorn in Shadow Weaver’s side.” She hesitated before taking in another deep breath. “And. I suppose, some small part of me, hoped that one of them would just kill me.” She winced, feeling the sting of her confession. She’d only ever told Razz’s headstone this secret. But Catra deserved the truth.

Her pointed ears drooped at this new information, purring ceasing. Catra dropped her hand to wrap an arm securely around Adora’s waist. “Praise the gods they didn’t,” she whispered, shutting her eyes tightly.

“To be honest, I didn’t feel grateful for their mercy at the time. Though I am now.” 

A pause hung in the air for a long while.

“Then what?” Catra prompted.

“Then… I found Bow and Glimmer. Slowly but surely, they chipped away at my resolve to keep everyone at arm's reach.” She likewise put an arm around Catra, soaking in every second of feeling her close. “We traveled all over Etheria. Meeting people, building connections… all the while, still drinking myself into an early grave. Though I was… a bit more determined to stay alive. I threw myself into my relationship with Glimmer like another vice to help me forget about everything that had happened.” She shifted her head to look at her companion. “And then I found you…” 

Catra blinked up at her, smiling softly when Adora gave a quiet chuckle.

“Once you were there… I couldn’t ignore it anymore. The wounds on my soul I’d let fester and rot… I had to contend with them again. But I didn’t know how. So that night in Colonia when you rebuffed me… I did what I had always done. I drowned myself in ale and sex hoping that it would all just go away.” She pressed her lips in a tight line. “I never truly answered your questions the next morning.”

“Adora, you don’t have to-”

“I want to,” she insisted.

Catra’s gemstone eyes searched her ocean blue before she nodded. “Say on,” she nearly whispered. 

Adora nodded, refusing to bow her head in shame or avert her eyes. “I do love Glimmer.” She noted the drooping of her ears, but continued. “I feel a part of me always will. However… that night? I do regret sleeping with her. It was stupid and selfish and thoughtless, even towards her.” She sucked in a deep breath. “I should have given you the courtesy of a night to think, and I didn’t. That was wrong of me. And I’m sorry.”

The magicat watched her with a wary gaze, less certain than Adora seemed to be. “You love her. Why shouldn’t you sleep with her?” She looked away then. “In fact, you should be with her now.”

“None of that,” she muttered, hugging her tighter. “I’m not done,” she said softly. “I’m not letting you defect or self deprecate anymore. Once I finish, you still decide to walk away… then so be it. But I’m getting all this out and you’re going to hear me.”

Catra smiled wryly. “Giving an awful lot of orders today, princess.” The joke sparking brief laughter between them. “Alright. Go ahead.”

Adora smiled, just watching her for a moment, unmistakable affection in her eyes. “I went off on my own once I left Colonia.”

The magicat straightened, staring blankly at her. “What? Why? You just left Glimmer?”

“I did,” she replied with a nod. “I knew if I stayed with her, I’d never be able to make my own decision. I knew that… her and I bring out the worst in each other. Her and I will always be friends… but nothing more.”

Catra eyed her cautiously, feeling her own whirl of emotions, most of them conflicting. “So what have you been doing all these months?”

“I met this little family early on. They helped me realize a few things. Firstly, I realized just how toxic Glimmer and I are together. What I had been doing to cope with the pain of it all was slowly killing me and something had to change. That I had to learn to forgive myself. To give myself more credit.”

The brunette blinked a few times before reaching up to squeeze the other woman’s face.

“Um. Catra. What are you doing?”

“I’m making sure this is the real Adora, and not just some illusion.”

Adora cackled, swatting her hands away. “Stop it! I’m being serious!”

“So am I! I have _never_ known my Adora to treat herself so kindly. You, m’lady, have to be a fake.” She snickered when she was playfully shoved to the side.

It took a moment before they reoriented themselves into the other’s side. “Well, all of that has changed.” Her brow furrowed a bit. “The second thing I learned is… I want a family.” She was grateful Catra didn’t interject or ask questions. “And then something amazing happened… I met my brother.” That didn’t go unnoted.

“I’m sorry, your what?”

“Yeah,” she chuckled. “I have a twin brother. His name is Adam.” She smiled fondly at the thought of him. “He found me and… pulled me out of the horrible place I’d let myself wallow in all those years. Which. Brings me to my conclusion.” She turned to face Catra, taking her hands in her own. 

“Catra,” Adora began slowly, “It’s you. It’s always been you. Through our childhood, you’ve been at my side, and when we were forced apart, I never stopped thinking about you. You’re the one I want to spend my life with, have a family with, grow old with.” She smiled widely, squeezing her hands. “I never want to be apart from you ever again,” she whispered, leaning in to press their foreheads together. “It’s you. Catra, I lo-” She blinked, feeling a clawed finger being pressed gently to her lips and she pulled back to gauge her reaction.

“Adora,” Catra choked, her face contorting in pain.

What was happening? Why was she looking at her like that?

“I… I’ve done a lot of my own thinking in our time apart. And I’m not so sure I’m ready to dive in so quickly. Or even… at all.” Her ears pressed back against her head and she winced. “I’m so happy for you that you’ve found yourself again, that you’ve faced your demons. But I’m not sure I’ve been able to sufficiently face my own. I meant what I said about us always being friends. That won’t change for anything. I’m your knight. I will always fight beside you. I just…” She looked away, her gut churning as the weight of it all settled on her.

“Hey…”

She blinked, turning back to Adora. She was able to breath when she saw the kind, if not slightly pained, smile.

“If that’s your choice, of course I’ll respect it.” Adora swallowed thickly, clearly not pleased with the outcome, but also gracious in accepting it. “I understand that there’s… really no replacing what we’ve lost. But I’m not going anywhere. Take all the time you need. Even if you can never be mine as you once were,” Gods that stung, “I would be honored if you continued to stand with me.”

Catra smiled, before reciting words she’d said nearly a lifetime ago, “I shall stand with you. Fight with you. Stay with you.” She gently squeezed the hand she still held. “Always.”

Adora grinned. “You remember.”

She scoffed. “Of course I do, dummy. I swore away my life to you. That isn’t something a person forgets.” She chuckled when Adora pulled her into a tight embrace, wrapping her arms around her in answer.

The two women sat there for a long moment, neither wanting to break away. It seemed like so many unspoken things passed between them with such a simple and familiar touch. Hopes, dreams, fears, pain. All of it. And they knew. They both knew. Adora had said as much that she would have no other, and her gentle grip at the back of Catra’s tunic only confirmed her words. While she refused to speak the words herself, Catra knew that she felt the exact same way. Even if she could never allow herself to go back to her in a romantic fashion, Adora was her one and only.

“Come on, princess,” Catra croaked, her throat thick and raw with emotion. “I promised to hold your hand when you finally met your parents.” The pair reluctantly pulled away from one another. “It’s time I made good on that promise.”

Adora nodded, before stifling climbing to her feet. She helped Catra to stand, still holding her hand. “Then let’s go.”

~~~

King Randor of Grayskull sat in his shared chambers with his wife, a book in his hands as he reclined in his chair. His strong square jaw was cloaked in a thick dark beard, his bright green eyes that had seen too many battles were focused intently on the words on the page. He rubbed his calloused fingers together before reaching to flip the page, scratching at his chin once he had.

Queen Marlena sat not too far from him at her own desk, sorting through important documents that needed her immediate attention. She let out a quiet sigh in her breathy lilting voice, reaching up to brush back a strand of stray bright red hair behind her ear. She set out a few papers on her desk and steepled her fingers just before her mouth as her blue-eyed gaze studied them intently.

Both were lost in their own worlds of thought and consideration when the door to the chamber swung wide open, a panting guard staring at the royal couple. The young man’s expression was hard to determine. There was certainly a paleness to his skin as if he had seen a ghost, but also an unmistakable excitement as his gaze darted between the queen and king. He swallowed thickly when the king rose.

“What is it?” Randor asked in a low rumbling baritone.

~

Adora stood, her hands pressed to a rail of the balcony as she stared out into the kingdom. She was doing all she could to keep her hands from shaking, nervous energy building in her gut. She only let out a breath of relief when Catra placed a steadying hand over her own, without either removing her gaze from the city life below. The magicat’s tail swished up to wrap around Adora’s wrist as they waited.

Though they didn’t need to wait long.

Only a few moments passed before the doors burst open behind them, and they turned to see two people standing in the doorway with expressions of awe and near disbelief. A woman in a silk green dress, long red hair flowing down her shoulders stood just in front of a tall broad man clothed in red finery. They wore matching but still distinct crowns, and it reminded Adora of the differences and similarities between the swords she and her brother wielded.

Marlena took careful steps forward, a hand covering her mouth as she did. Her eyes taking in every inch of the blonde young woman before her.

Adora let out a breath as if all the air had been driven from her lungs, and released Catra’s hand moving towards the woman that she knew to be her mother.

The mother and daughter met only barely a foot apart. The queen dropped her hand from her own face and let out the strangest combination of a laugh and sob as she carefully reached out to trace her fingers down Adora’s cheek in wonder. Adora gave her own quiet sob, tears welling up in her eyes. Marlena surged forward and wrapped her arms strongly around her daughter, sobbing openly into her golden hair. 

Adora felt her knees start to give beneath her, and returned the embrace. Warmth bloomed in her chest as it all sunk in for her. The undeniable love and longing this woman had for her. She didn’t want anything from her, not to use her, or to shape her into a tool of her own making. All her mother wanted was this. This moment to hold her daughter she’d thought was lost to her forever.

Adora only looked up when she sensed another presence looming over her, and looked up to stare into the kind face of the warrior king, tears likewise standing in his eyes. He threw his big burly arms around his wife and daughter, placing kisses on both of their heads as he cried.

Catra watched the touching scene with a soft smile, arms crossed over her chest. She felt now it would be best to leave them to their privacy, and quietly slipping back inside, carefully closing the door behind her. She pressed her back to the double doors and let out a breath. They deserved this moment of peace. Because all too soon, they would once again have to deal with the coming threat. Though wasn’t this just a reminder as to why it was so important to fight? To preserve these precious moments? The magicat suddenly felt the strong urge to find Finn. She gave a nod in firm decision before pushing off from the door and going to find them.

She was determined to go hug her kid.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my god. I have not had this much difficultly writing a chapter. FUCK.
> 
> Shout out to my sister for helping me figure this out. Love you sissy <3
> 
> We're nearing the end here, folks. I doubt I'm gonna be able to finish before school like I'd hoped, but trust me. I'm spending my days writing or thinking about writing in hopes to get this done before then. And even if I don't, I'm still gonna push through. This will not be a dead fic. Not so close to the finish line.
> 
> Yes, it's still Catradora endgame. Be cool.
> 
> Love you guys. I hope you like the chapter. 
> 
> Kudos and comments are life-giving <3
> 
> Here's my [twitter](https://twitter.com/xtitan_1) and my [tumblr](https://scorchflamedancer.tumblr.com/). Hit me up if you like. I love talking to people about this fic, Catradora, or just spop in general.


	16. It's Over

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finn bobbed their head before giving Adora one final tight hug before slipping to the floor and scurrying off to their own room to play.
> 
> Adora watched them go with an affectionate smile before turning to look at the older magicat with a raised eyebrow. “So. Mama, huh?”
> 
> Catra grinned sheepishly, rubbing the back of her neck. “It sort of just… happened. I found myself in Thaymor not long after I left Colonia, and I found them. And we just… bonded. I took care of them when the caravan made their way to Grayskull and then… decided to adopt them.”
> 
> She nodded slowly in understanding, leaning back in her chair, crossing her arms over her chest. “I can see why. They’re an amazing kid.”
> 
> “I think so too,” she said affectionately, glancing towards their room.
> 
> Adora considered for a moment, wanting to leave it be, but not being able to resist. “Are they why we aren’t…?”
> 
> Her ears laid back against her head. “In part,” she admitted in a quiet voice.

Adora found herself sitting in the war room with… most everyone she knew that was in Grayskull, actually. Her parents sat at the head of the table side by side, her brother at Randore’s right hand, and she on Marlena’s left. Bow and Glimmer were seated opposite them, and Catra stood behind her in Grayskull issued knight’s armor. Once explaining to her parents who Catra was and that she’d sworn blood oaths to her, they granted her access to wherever Adora went, as well as a new apartment inside the palace to be nearer to her. And she desperately needed the support for what they were discussing.

“We’ve received word that King Hordak is no longer in power,” King Randore announced, reading off reports in his hands. He raised a hand to quiet the startled gasps and questions that came. “Commander… now Queen, Shadow Weaver staged a coup, and was apparently successful. She now has full control of the Horde territories and all of its armies.”

“Fuck,” Adora muttered quietly to herself. She turned to see how Catra reacted to the news, and was a bit surprised to see an even and stoney expression on her face. Then she remembered, this was always how she conducted herself when she was on guard duty. She smiled softly before refocusing her attention on her father. 

“There are also reports that a battalion of Horde is advancing on Grayskull. We have scouts along the main road that are reporting their progress as they come. We’ve already taken precautions and are prepared for a siege at any time.” He turned his gaze to Glimmer. “I do not expect we’ll need to call on Brightmoon for our defense, but if you wish to extend aid, we would not turn it away.”

The princess nodded, holding her head high and doing her best to not look at Adora just then. It was nothing personal, it was just… it hurt. It had only been a handful of days since they’d had that conversation. “I’ll send word to my mother immediately. Grayskull has always been a loyal ally of Brightmoon. We would not leave our friends short of soldiers and supplies if we foresee an immediate threat.”

“Thank you, Glimmer,” Marlena said with a smile. “And do extend Angella our warmest regards.”

The violet haired woman gave a tight smile at the mention of her mother. The mother and daughter had always had a rather contentious relationship.

Bow cleared his throat, organizing the papers in front of him. “With that matter settled, your majesty. Would you care to hear the report we came to deliver?”

The king gave a nod, and gestured for him to continue.

“As you know, Princess Glimmer and myself, and eventually Princess Adora--”

Adora cringed at the title so easily coming from her friend’s lips. She squirmed in her seat, feeling that it was an ill fitting tunic that didn’t belong to her. She looked around the opulent room as Bow prattled on about their extensive journey around Etheria. Listing all of the allies they’d acquired, the assets those allies lent to the cause, the pacts and treaties that were signed. She studied the serious faces of her parents and brother as they took in the information, the unfamiliar business, and frankly, regal demeanor of her former paramour. Gods, what was she even doing here? She wasn’t a princess in anything but name. She had no business being a part of this meeting. She had nothing to contribute. Her specialty was battle tactics and war with sword in hand. This was a mistake, she needed to get out of here, she needed to--

The blonde woman blinked, feeling a constricting but familiar pressure on her wrist and she looked down. Catra had sensed her anxiety climbing, and had wrapped her tail around her wrist in attempts to soothe her. She looked back towards her childhood friend to see the professional expression on her face that she maintained while the meeting went on. But she didn’t look away. Adora let her eyes rove over her childhood friend in her freshly polished armor, a hand resting at the sword at her hip. It took some time, but after Catra realized she wasn’t looking away any time soon, her eyes shifted to meet Adora’s gaze and she gave her the softest of smiles. The pressure on Adora’s wrist increased fractionally as well. She sucked in a deep breath before smiling back at her, and shifting to look forward again.

It would be alright. She had Catra here. It would all be alright.

Adora’s calm expression shifted again, the reality of their relationship coming to mind once more. Catra had refused her. She took a deep breath at the reminder that hit her like a blow to the stomach. Adora closed her eyes imagining the void, shoving all of her pain at the rejection into the flames. She was determined to respect Catra’s decision. She wouldn’t allow her friend to feel shamed or pressured to reconsider. She had her friend back. And that was enough. She exhaled before opening her eyes.

“I’m sorry, she did _what_?” Adam asked, attempting to suppress a laugh, looking towards his sister.

Adora blinked looking around the room seeing that everyone was looking at her with variations of amused expressions. “What? What have I done?” She turned to look at Catra who was also attempting to contain her laughter.

“In the Kingdom of Snows,” Bow gently reminded her.

She groaned loudly sinking forward to hold her face in her hands. “Gods, this again?”

At that, the room erupted with quiet laughter.

“Didn’t you warn her, Glimmer?” Adam asked, looking to her.

“I did!” She exclaimed with no small amount of exasperation. “And she did it right in the middle of her court!” Glimmer sighed, massaging her temple. 

Adora’s face burned with embarrassment as she rose to her feet. “I think I need some air…” She looked to her parents, and let out a sigh of relief when her mother nodded indulgently. 

“I’ll get a copy of the meeting’s notes to you, dear. Go. You’ve had a trying few days.”

She smiled softly at her. “Thank you, mother…” She liked the taste of the word on her lips. Adora gave them a nodding bow before pushing her chair aside and quickly making her way out of the room, Catra not far behind her.

Glimmer’s eyes followed them as they walked out, her eyes narrowing in vague suspicion. With a clearing of her throat she turned and refocused her attention to the king and queen. “Where were we?”

~

Adora didn’t stop when she left the room, marching down the hall aimlessly. Finally, she realized she had no idea where she was going and she stopped, hearing the clinking of Catra’s armor cease behind her when she halted. She turned to her friend with pleading eyes.

Catra raised an eyebrow at her. “Yes, princess?”

The tension from her shoulders seemed to relax a bit at that. Somehow, the word didn’t scare her when Catra said it. “You have apartments in the palace now?” She watched her friend nod slowly in answer. “Could you show me?” Adora knew what she needed right now was to feel normal. She would not find that feeling of normalcy in her own rooms. 

She paused for a moment before hesitantly nodding her consent. “Of course. I’ll… take you to it.” The magicat cleared her throat before moving to walk in front of her. She led her through the hallways towards the servants quarters, coming to a door and pausing at it. Her ears pressed back against her head, not moving.

Adora frowned, reaching forward to put a hand on her shoulder. “Catra? Is everything alright?”

“Yes… Just.” She let out a breath. “I just know I’m going to have some explaining to do once we go in…” 

She blinked, confused. What did she mean by that?

With that, Catra pushed open the door and stepped inside. 

“Mama!” A little voice called from within. 

Adora’s jaw dropped as she looked at Catra. “Mama…?” She murmured to herself in question. Curiously, she walked in following her friend to see a young magicat wrapped up in her plated arms. Her eyes widened when she recognized the child. “Finn?!”

Their little ears perked up and they turned to see Adora standing in the doorway. “She-ra!” They called, scrambling out of their mother’s embrace and running to her, throwing themself at her with complete trust that she would catch them.

She did easily, hugging them tightly. She looked over their shoulder at Catra with a bewildered expression. “What are you doing here, kitten?”

“I live here now with my new mother,” they grinned up at her before looking to Catra.

The older magicat smiled sheepishly. “As I said… I have some explaining to do.” 

Adora eyed her for a moment before refocusing her attention to the child and smiling softly at them as they chattered on, telling her of their adventures since Catra had come to Thaymor. She moved to sit in a nearby chair, keeping them on her lap as she idly combed her fingers through their hair. Gods, had she missed them. She certainly felt better knowing first hand that they were safe rather than just hearing it. She’d been thinking about them a lot lately amid all the other chaos that was her life these days.

“And then we moved to the palace!” Finn said in conclusion, giving her a wide fanged grin. 

“That’s quite a tale, kitten,” she said with a chuckle. She glanced over to see Catra had removed most of her armor, though leaving on everything from the hips down. “Perhaps you can show me your sword work another time, hm? But I think… your mother and I should have a conversation.”

Finn bobbed their head in acknowledgement before giving her one final tight hug before slipping to the floor and scurrying off to their own room to play.

Adora watched them go with an affectionate smile before turning to look at the older magicat with a raised eyebrow. “So. Mama, huh?”

Catra grinned sheepishly, rubbing the back of her neck. “It sort of just… happened. I found myself in Thaymor not long after I left Colonia, and I found them. And we just… bonded. I took care of them when the caravan made their way to Grayskull and then… decided to adopt them.”

She nodded slowly in understanding, leaning back in her chair, crossing her arms over her chest. “I can see why. They’re an amazing kid.”

“I think so too,” she said affectionately, glancing towards their room.

Adora considered for a moment, wanting to leave it be, but not being able to resist. “Are they why we aren’t…?”

Her ears laid back against her head. “In part,” she admitted in a quiet voice. “This is still very new for the both of us. We’re still just settling in.”

“I see,” she said following her gaze. That made her feel at least a little better. It didn’t mean Catra didn’t want her… just that she was trying to be a good mother. It warmed her heart knowing that Finn finally had a place to call home. A place where they were loved. “Well, if you ever need anything, anything at all, don’t hesitate to ask.” She turned to smile at her. “I have no doubt you’ll be a wonderful mother.”

Catra let out a breath in relief, returning the smile. “Thank you. I’m grateful for that. I may even take you up on it.” Then slowly, her smile grew mischievous. “So. How does it feel?”

Adora straightened, suddenly weary of her expression. “What…?” She asked cautiously.

“Knowing that your reign from here on in will be forever defined by your faux pas in the Kingdom of Snows?” She snickered when Adora let out a frustrated groan.

“Gods fucking damnit…”

~~~

The next week was trying for all of them. With the Brightmoon emissaries still staying in Grayskull as guests, Glimmer and Adora were often forced into the same space. It made things rather awkward, really. Everyone was perfectly polite, but Adora could still see the pain in Glimmer’s eyes, in her smile. She wanted to do something, _anything_ to alleviate it. Though she knew that what she needed the most was time. It was all Adora could give her. Thankfully, Bow and Adam were excellent buffers, both being acutely aware of the situation and always made the effort to keep things light and deflect attention from the two women and their stiff interactions.

Then there was Catra. The awkwardness there, however, did little to sully their quality time together. She often found herself spending her free time in Catra’s apartments with her and Finn, with Scorpia visiting more often than not. Adora had thus far kept her word in not bringing up anything more intimate between them. Though she couldn’t keep herself from the occasional longing glance. She tended to not even recognize it happening until it was already done. Or worse, when Catra felt someone gazing at her and they made eye contact. They would just stare at each other in those moments, the unspoken desire pulsing between them. They were often interrupted by another pulling one or the other’s attention. But still. Those moments happened. Often. And they never spoke of them.

Today had been particularly challenging for both Adora and Catra. Though neither would say it, they remembered today to be the anniversary of the day they were separated. The awkwardness there was palpable, but also the lingering pain. Usually, Adora coped with the anniversary by merely drinking herself stupid for the whole day. But she was determined not to go back to being that person. So instead, she just sort of… brooded. Most noticed, but none had yet to ask.

Adora was pacing in front of the war room chamber, rubbing her fingers along her undercut. She’d gotten up again in the middle of another meeting, feeling claustrophobic in the war room. She wasn’t sure what to do with all her nervous energy. So here she was, walking to and fro as Catra watched with drooping ears. 

The magicat pressed her lips together in a tight line as she watched her friend contending with the torment she knew they were both feeling. But what was she to say? What was she to do? She feared anything she might have to offer would just make things worse. Especially considering the current status of their relationship.

Mercifully, the meeting ended and the royals, in addition to Bow, filed out of the war room. 

Adam frowned at the sight of his sister in the throes of anxiety. He walked up to Catra and leaned in to whisper, “Has she been like this the whole time?”

The knight nodded with a wince. “Today marks the fifth years after we were separated,” she told him in a quiet voice. “I… I’m not sure how to help without inflicting more damage…”

The prince nodded, knowing what he needed to do. He moved to step into her path and let her run into him. He smiled at her. “Hey sister mine,” he said affectionately. “Come. Let’s go for a walk in the gardens.”

Adora looked up at him, and let out a deep breath before she nodded. She took the arm he extended and leaned into him as they strode off together.

Catra watched the twins walk away, and decided that this was a conversation that needed to happen in private. She would catch up with Adora later.

“You’re a real dumbass, you know that?”

Catra frowned, turning to see the princess of Brightmoon in all her finery standing in the doorway of the war room. It appeared everyone else had dispersed leaving the two of them alone in the corridor. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Glimmer scoffed, slowly approaching her. “You’re throwing away something priceless. And I, for the life of me, can’t imagine why.”

The magicat’s tail lashed as her eyes narrowed. “Quit speaking in riddles. It’s tiresome.”

“Fucking-” The shorter woman let out a low grow. “Adora. You rebuffed her.”

“She tell you that?” She asked, crossing her arms over her breastplate.

“She didn’t have to. I see it, I feel it. There’s a stiffness in the air when you’re around each other. And frankly, I find it all rather insulting.”

“Why? Because she rejected you?” She rolled her eyes, not giving a damn about the other woman’s pride. She moved as if she was about to walk away. A hand shot out and grabbed her elbow to keep her in place.

“No. Because _you_ rejected her.” Violet eyes met mismatched gemstones for a hard moment. “That woman,” she began slowly, her voice thick with emotion, “has been through hell. Even still, she’s managed to cobble herself together. She is wonderful and kind, and she deserves every happiness. And gods help her, she wants you, Catra.” Her breathing grew heavy as she maintained eye contact, refusing to back down. Refusing to loosen her iron grip on her armored elbow. “Even when her and I were together, I knew that a piece of her was kept from me. I knew that her heart still belonged to the fiancee she left behind in Castle Fright. I would’ve…” She sniffed, refusing to allow the tears standing in her eyes to fall. “I would’ve done _anything_ to keep her, to have the chance to love her the way she deserves. I would’ve given her the world on a silver platter, the moon and stars in a crown if she desired it. But she doesn’t want any of that. She just wants you. If that’s what she wants, then by the gods, she deserves it. She deserves _you_. And if you’re withholding out of some…” Glimmer shook her head, still flummoxed by this whole ordeal, “Bizarre sense of inadequacy, or shame, or foolish pride, then you need to get the fuck over yourself and go to her. I’m not blind. I see the way you look at her. You want her just as badly as she wants you. Stop this madness and just… be with her, damnit.” She finally let her hand fall. “Please, Catra. I just want her to be happy. Really, truly happy. For once. So just… be with her…”

Catra straightened as the Brightmoon princess ranted on, a sense of ice water being poured over her. The stark realization of everything settling deep in her bones. Her ears pressed back against her skull and she averted her eyes, her tail wrapping around her waist in an attempt to self soothe. What had she come to if her bitter rival was pleading with her to be with Adora?

“She wants you… just as you want her. I promise you she does. So just fucking let it happen, you godsdamn idiot!” The tears finally fell without her permission as the rage set in. She still couldn’t believe she had to spell this out for the other woman as if she were a child.

Her eyes tracked back and forth as she processed, rolling it all around in her mind. She let out a deep breath before nodding slowly. As much as it galled her to admit, Glimmer was right. Perhaps it was just her pride that kept her from Adora. She tried to justify it to herself that it was for Finn that she was holding back. That they were her first priority now, and that she couldn’t bring a new dynamic into the picture just as she was settling into her new role as mother. But really? She was being ridiculous. Adora already loved Finn long before she met her own child, and she knew Finn loved Adora as well and would be overjoyed to have a second mother. Watching them together this past week was more than enough proof that Adora had nothing but a loving gentle influence on her child. She squared her shoulders before turning to face Glimmer. “Alright,” she murmured. “I will.”

She smiled weakly up at her, not really sure what had come over her in that moment, but she threw her arms around Catra in a hug. “Take care of her. Horde scum,” she said the insulting nickname with no small amount of affection.

Catra blinked in shock for a moment before it melted away into a smile, and she patted her back in return. “That’s the plan, Sparkles.” She sucked in a deep breath before pulling back to meet her gaze, a small smile on her lips. “And… thank you.”

Glimmer nodded, sniffing before averting her eyes. “Yeah. Well… go get her.”

She nodded before turning on her heel and sprinting through the halls.

~

Adora sat with Adam on a bench in the palace gardens and let out a deep breath after she recounted all of the feelings she’d been holding in concerning the day, concerning Catra.

“Wow,” he murmured. “That’s. A lot.”

“Yeah,” she murmured. “And it feels… more difficult with each passing hour to stay away.” She looked up at him, desperation in her eyes. “Adam, I don’t know if I can stand it. Having her be so close and unable to make her mine. I just…” She sighed, hanging her head with the heaviness of it all. “I feel like I’m dying inside.”

Adam wrapped his arms tightly around her, and was pleased when she returned the embrace. “Thank you for confiding in me. I’m not sure what the best thing to do is… but we’ll figure it out. Together.”

She smiled softly, burying her face into his shoulder. “Thank you.”

~

Catra ran through the halls of the palace before finally coming to the gardens, panting heavily as she looked around. She caught her familiar scent on the wind and smiled widely when she saw her pull away from her brother. The twins got to their feet and Adora wandered over to admire a patch of violets. 

The magicat took only a step forward before her ear twitched. She frowned, turning towards the sound, catching an unfamiliar scent accompanying the strange noise. She gasped when she caught sight of an archer taking aim at her best friend, and Catra sprinted towards her. “Adora!” She called out, throwing herself in front of her. She gasped taking the arrow to the chest, feeling warmth spread beneath her pierced breastplate. She wrapped her off hand around her middle and drew her sword, despite blood dripping from the gaping hole in her armor.

Adora gasped, having no time to process, her body acting on its own accord. She drew the sword at her hip and called out the words that would transform her. 

Adam did the same, and then yelled for the guards.

No sooner had the words escaped their lips then a dozen or so Horde soldiers materialized in the garden, along the surrounding walls, all converging at the royals and the knight. 

Adora shouted, blasting a few soldiers that came to close with pulsing energy that came from her blade and pivoting to guard Catra’s back. She fought with a blood lust she’d only experienced a few times before, viciously lashing out at any foe that came too close. 

Despite the blood pouring down her armor, Catra continued to fight off the soldiers that encroach on their position. She pulled her dagger and flung it into the face of the archer that had assaulted her, snarling with a grim satisfaction that she was able to pay back the one that hurt her, the one that tried to hurt Adora. Her vision began to narrow at the exertion, her breathing becoming more ragged just before she collapsed onto the ground. She could only ride the adrenaline for so long before her body gave out.

As quickly as it started, the violent clash ended once the palace guard arrived. They easily took control of the few remaining Horde that still breathed.

Adam turned to see Adora scooping up Catra in shaking hands. “Fuck,” he murmured. He shielded his eyes when his sister began to glow, along with the woman in her arms. When he was confident both would be alright, he turned to the guards with prisoners. “Take them to the dungeons,” he ordered. “Send word to my father about what’s happened…” He glanced behind him to see Adora still clinging to Catra. “And ready the infirmary.”

~~

It took some coaxing on Adam’s part, but he finally was able to lead Adora into the infirmary with Catra in her arms, refusing to let anyone else carry her. The amount of blood the knight had lost in the fight was more than alarming. Despite Adora’s healing, the magicat was out cold, hanging limply from her arms. The moment Adora got her onto a bed, she began stripping away her armor, carelessly piling it on the floor at the foot of the bed. She opened her bloodied shirt to inspect the wound, letting out a breath of relief to find none. The healing worked. She was breathing steady. But still, removing her shirt showed off the impressive amount of lightning scars carved into her furred skin. Adora couldn’t help but wince at the sight of them.

The palace attendants and healers came to tend to whatever was needed, cleaning the blood off of Catra and finding her a new shirt. The blonde woman was encouraged to go rest on her own, assuring her that her knight was in good hands.

“No,” she snapped at them. “I’m not leaving her.” She looked around to the concerned faces. “Out. All of you. That’s an order,” she growled, watching as each one gave a bow before leaving them alone.

Adora pulled up a chair to sit beside her bed, Catra’s hand firmly in her own as she sat hunched over her inert form. She utilized her meditation technique in attempts to tamp down the panic growing within her at every minute Catra didn’t wake. 

Finally, Catra let out a low groan, shifting beneath the weight of Adora on her. “Gods, stop it. You’re acting like I’m dying or something,” she teased.

Adora sat up straight, eyes wide as she took in her smirking face. She sucked in a deep breath, the heavy emotion finally breaking through in the wake of the profound relief over taking her. “You fucking idiot,” she whimpered, clinging to her, head bowed over their joined hands. “So stupid,” she growled through gritted teeth.

Catra let out a raspy laugh from her place on the bed. “I’m fine, Adora. Especially after your healing. Just a bit sore is all.”

“That arrow could have killed you!” She snapped. “You had no reason to be that reckless!”

She gave a quiet hum in acknowledgement. “I wasn’t being reckless. I knew exactly what I was doing.” She pressed her lips to Adora’s hand. “This is what I swore to do. I was only fulfilling my oath.”

“That was _not_ your oath!” Adora shouted at her, sitting up to meet her gaze, furry rolling off of her in waves. “I specifically changed them so you _wouldn’t_ do something like this! Damnit Catra.” She suppressed a sob. “You’re supposed to stand _with_ me… not in front of me. Gods…” A trail of tears streamed her cheeks. “I can’t lose you again…” Adora shook her head vigorously. Especially not today, of all days. “I can’t… I’m not strong enough for that.” She sniffed. “And what of Finn? They need you. They need you to survive.”

Catra grew still during the beratement, her tail lashing in anxiety. Her grip on Adora’s hand grew tighter as she went on, her ears laying back against her head. She winced when she finally mentioned her child and averted her gaze. “But I did survive,” she reminded her gently. “And all of that may be true… But I wasn’t going to let _you_ die,” she said firmly. “Finn might need me… but the world needs you, Adora.” She reached up to cradle her face in her palm, tracing her thumb under her eye to wipe away the tears. She smiled when Adora leaned in to press their foreheads together, the blonde woman’s hand coming up to cover her own. “But I’m alright. I’m not dying anytime soon if I have anything to say about it.”

She breathed in deeply, taking in her cinnamon laced scent. “Promise?”

“I promise…” she whispered.

Adora sat there for a moment, conflict rising in her. She couldn’t let things stand, not as they were. Not with such a close brush with death. “Forgive me,” she whispered, before leaning in to capture Catra’s lips with her own. There was so much desperation in the kiss, so much desire. She had had every intention to honor Catra’s wishes on this subject. But she had been filled with so much conflict through the last week, and now she had almost lost her forever. She couldn’t let another minute pass without her touch. Even if it did earn her a justly deserved slap.

But no slap came. Not even a hint of resistance. It was so natural for Catra. Kissing Adora again. She easily melted into her touch. Her body remembered the shape of her mouth, the taste of it. Kissing her back with the same passion and fervor that Adora was pouring into it. It was instinct. She inhaled deeply, her hand reaching up to run her fingers through Adora’s hair, holding her steady as their lips moved together in concert. It had been so long. Too long. And she had every intention of making up for every second they had lost. Finally when they parted, half lidded gemstone eyes met ocean blue. “Hey Adora…” She smirked when that got her childhood friend to blush. Her childhood sweetheart. Her love… 

She smiled weakly, a twinge of embarrassment coming over her. “I’m sorry. I know that you said you weren’t sure you wanted to do this again. And I heard you. Truly. I… I won’t do it again. I just… I need you to know. What you told me before, what you asked me to find out. I did. I discovered that, at the end of it all, what I want my life to be, where I want to be, is with you. You’re all I’ve only ever wanted, I-- ” She blinked when a clawed finger pressed against her lips to silence her.

“Adora…” A soft quality came over her features as she studied her, dropping her hand to trace her fingertips down her cheek. “I love you… I always have…”

She gasped quietly, her blue eyes growing wide. The words were like water in a desert, the warmth of the sun after a chilling winter, the recentering she’d felt the first time Catra said those words to her. It was the feeling of coming home. She couldn’t believe what she was hearing. “Y-you love me?” She asked, hope welling up in her chest.

Catra scoffed, shaking her head with that fanged grin of her’s. “You’re such an idiot…” But she melted when she saw the look on Adora’s face. That incredible softness in her smile, the unmistakable affection in her eyes.

“I love you, too,” she whispered. She leaned in for another deep kiss. And then another, and another. “Gods, I love you so much,” she laughed, nuzzling their noses together.

A loud roaring purr erupted from Catra’s chest, and she gently combed her fingers through Adora’s golden hair. “Before the attack… I was coming to tell you as much. I… I was being foolish, withholding how I was. So many years have been lost to us… so much time. Too much time. I refuse to waste anymore of it on pettiness and insecurity. I want to be with you. Just you and me at the end of the world.”

Adora blinked back her happy tears, grinning madly at her. “Marry me,” she asked with a low gravelly voice.

Catra blinked, sitting up straight at that. “What?”

She took her hand and pressed her lips to each of her knuckles. “I have never been so sure of anything in all my life.” She raised her ocean blue eyes to meet Catra’s glittering mismatched gemstone. “Catra. You are the great love of my life. I want that future with you. A home, a family with you and Finn. I want to spend every night falling asleep to the sound of your breathing and wake up every morning to the taste of your kiss. I want to share my life with you, and for you to share yours with me. We’ve wasted too much time. We swore five years ago today in those stables that we would marry at the nearest town with a priest. And while we’ve passed over more than a few towns along the way,” she said with a laugh, “We’ve finally come to one. Please…” She moved from her seat, to kneel before her on the hard floor, maintaining eye contact all the while. “Be my wife in truth rather than just in my heart. Marry me, Catra.”

Tears pricked her eyes and she felt so light and free, only in this moment understanding why Adora had seemed so overwhelmed when she asked her this same question nearly a lifetime ago. “Gods, so this is what it feels like,” she teased, wiping at her eyes. She grinned widely, reaching for the leather cord around her own neck and pulling out the bronze ring that hung there. She yanked at the necklace, snapping the leather and pulling the ring free, offering it to her in her open palm. “Yes… a thousand times yes.”

Adora sucked in a deep breath at the sight of the old familiar ring, her tears coming anew. And she laughed. Joy and relief flooding through her like a tidal wave as Catra once again replaced the ring to its proper place on her finger, never to leave her possession again. She took the other woman’s face in her hands and pulled her into a long deep kiss. 

Their lips lingered a long while before they finally separated, Catra still purring like mad. A glint of mischief came into her eyes and she smirked. “So. Where’s _my ring_ , Adora?”

The blonde blinked, sputtering in embarrassment as she searched for an adequate answer, her anxiety only soothing when she was met with the high squeaking laugh fiancee she knew so well. She smiled softly at the thought. Her fiancee. “You cunt,” she chuckled, both then erupting in laughter. Adora hummed contentedly before moving to climb onto the infirmary bed with her love, pulling her into her side. Catra easily curled into her side, her purring continuing on as her tail swished contentedly. “I love you,” she whispered, pressing her lips to the top of her head.

“I love you too, princess…”

~~~

Unfortunately, their moment of bliss couldn’t last forever. War was pressing in on them from every side. The palace and city patrols had doubled, and only authorized personnel were permitted into the city proper. Reports were coming in that the Horde was only days aways from invading, their numbers swelling from even what Thaymor had faced. A fight was inevitable. A big one. A fight Catra was determined to be a part of.

“No.”

“You can’t stop me, Adora.”

“You’re my betrothed, and I say no. You aren’t fighting.”

“Then as my betrothed, you aren’t fighting.” Catra smirked at the look of consternation on her beloved’s face.

“That’s different,” Adora sputtered indignantly. “I’m She-ra. I have to fight.”

“But you’re also a princess and mother-to-be. It would be irresponsible.” She arched an eyebrow, knowing she was winning. She folded her hands behind her back and leaned forward into her personal space. “Besides. You need me. You know it. Together we know how to break their ranks better than anyone.”

“She’s right you know,” Adam murmured from his place in the corner of the room.

“Stay out of this, you!” Adora shouted at him.

The three were the only one’s left in the war room after their most recent meeting. The king and queen were off seeing to the troops and ensuring the city was well fortified. Bow and Glimmer were again trying to make contact with the queen back in Brightmoon. Adora hadn’t realized Adam was still there when her argument with Catra had begun.

The blonde woman inhaled deeply before looking back towards her fiancee. “I’m begging you, please-” She was stopped by a gentle hand caressing her face.

“Adora,” she murmured. “Who would I be if I just abandoned the woman I love? What would that make me? You would have me break my oaths to follow you? To stand with you?” She shook her head slightly, maintaining eye contact. “I won’t hear of it. That’s final. Either we both fight, or we both stay. Your fate will be mine. You understand me?” 

Adora stared into her amber and sapphire eyes for a long moment before finally she nodded. “Alright,” she murmured, placing a hand over her’s. “Then we’ll do this. Together.”

Catra smiled softly, leaning in to give her the sweetest of kisses. They only parted when they heard the prince clear his throat.

“Would you two… like your privacy?” Adam asked with an arched eyebrow.

“I don’t even know why you’re still in here!” Adora groaned, massaging her temple.

“Personally, I find your lover’s spats quite amusing. You’re adorable when you’re flustered, sister mine,” he teased.

She stood from her chair, cheeks growing red as she sputtered. “I am _not_ -!” She deflated at a simple touch on her shoulder from Catra.

“Please, my love, no need to shout,” she chuckled.

Adam grinned widely at the exchange. “You two are positively delightful.” His laughter was cut off when a guard burst in the door, panting.

“Your Highnesses,” she began, breathing deeply from her exertion. She clearly ran all the way here. “The Horde. They’re here.”

Immediately, the three rose and moved to the door.

They were early.

~~

Adora sat astride Swift Wind as She-ra, her and her mount both fully armored. So was Catra on Melog beside her. They waited on the side of the right flank knowing that they were going to plunge into the thick of it once the battle began. Bow, Glimmer, and Adam waited on the left side.

They could see them in the distance. The Horde. First the tops of the war machines slowly came over the horizon breaching the treetops, the air thick with it’s acrid scent despite the ocean breeze coming from the west. The rhythmic thudding of soldiers marching, the clomping of horse hooves digging into the earth, the clinking of metal armor all moving in tandem. The Grayskull forces shifted among the ranks, the tension for what was to come palpable. 

Adora gripped at the horn of her saddle before looking over to her fiancee that sat beside her. Their eyes met for a moment, their breathing growing heavy. The reality of it all settled in more firmly with each passing second, with each distant clank of armor and whinney of horses, every thudding footstep, the promise of blood coming with it. But what could she say? Everything that needed saying had been said twice over. All promises and assurances, all hopes and dreams for a brighter future given. The only thing left was to come out of the other side of this conflict in one piece. 

Catra smiled from behind her open-faced barbute helmet and extended a gauntleted hand across the small chasm between them. 

The blonde woman returned her smile, reaching to take Catra’s hand in her own. Even through the armor, their grip was as strong as iron. They would make it through this. Together. They had to.

A call went out through the enemy lines and they looked towards the battlefield with expectancy. Both women let out a gasp when they saw their former commander step out from the line of soldiers all clad in black and red finery. Those were clothes fit for court, not a battlefield. Her voice reverberated through the atmosphere through a means of magical amplification.

“Armies of Grayskull,” that smooth as silk sinister voice began, “I have come to accept your unconditional surrender and the return of my daughter.”

Adora gritted her teeth at the audacity of this woman, her blood beginning to boil at just the mere insinuation.

“I am willing to end this conflict peacefully if you only were to yield. Your royal family will be dealt with swiftly and with mercy if you surrender. I will grant you an hour to consider my offer.”

“Fuck that,” Adora snarled, dropping Catra’s hand and drawing the Sword of Protection and sending a blast of magical energy in the air. Her signal to begin the assault. She saw Adam’s answering blast and she stood in her stirrups. _“For the honor of Grayskull!”_ She bellowed into the air, all troops within hearing of her battle cry calling it back to her. The echo’s of Adam’s soldiers answering shouts reaching them as well. “Loose!” She called to the archers. In addition to the archers, the ballistas on the battlements behind them fired into the dense field of enemy combatants. She watched with satisfaction as a few of the Horde’s war machines were obliterated and a good amount of fighters fell.

“Hold!” Adora called, reigning Swift Wind around, Catra close behind her. She waited for Shadow Weaver’s answer.

Finally, it came, her voice with a sickly distorted quality.

“So be it. Then your death will be of your own doing.”

“Shields!” Adora barked the order as she turned her magical weapon into one as well, guarding both herself and her knight from what she knew was to come. She gritted her teeth, bracing herself. She winced hearing the ammunition from the war machines raining down on her own troops. Men and women that were sworn to defend her family, her kingdom. She would be sure that their sacrifice wasn’t in vain. Next the volley of arrows. Adora met Catra’s eyes when the last arrow fell and she breathed heavily. This was it. Both women sucked in a deep breath before bellowing at the top of their lungs;

“ **Charge!** ”

~

Shadow Weaver watched with an unnatural calm as the forces of Grayskull advanced, their spearmen charging towards her. Her serenity was unbroken even as arrows continued to rain down around her. “Hold,” she told her soldiers with an outstretched hand. She was waiting for something, and she cared not for the growing anxiety among her own ranks. The Grayskull forces continued to advance, screaming all the while.

Finally they came within range, and a sickly smirk pulled at her scarred lips and she extended her hand to those in front of her. Her hand became enveloped with a red orb of pure energy that exploded out in front of her, decimating the first assault attempt.

Taking Grayskull would be child’s play.

~

Glimmer gasped, reining in her white mare. She brought a hand to her mouth as she watched the Horde pick off the last of the Grayskull contingency that had been a part of the first charge. “Oh gods…”

Bow frowned at her. “What’s the matter?”

“Something’s wrong… that magic… it… it isn’t natural,” she nearly whispered. “It’s this… darkness. Something like I’ve never sensed before.” She slowly shook her head, a heaviness sinking into her gut. “Something is terribly, terribly wrong…”

Adam gritted his teeth gripping at the horn of Battlecat’s saddle. “I sense it too,” he answered in a low rumble. He glanced across the remaining Grayskull forces towards where he knew his sister was taking her stand. “Should we call the retreat?”

The Brightmoon princess chewed on her lower lip before slowly shaking her head. “No. We can’t let that magic past the walls. The people are only safe so long as we keep them out of the city.”

The prince nodded firmly. “Then we press on. For Grayskull.”

Bow glanced between his two friends. “For Etheria.”

The three nodded before turning to face the battlefield.

~

Chaos.

Blood.

Screaming.

Crying.

Silence.

Corpses of both the Horde and Grayskull forces littered the ground now muddied with blood. 

All Catra could hear was the pulse of her own heartbeat in her ears and her own heavy breathing as she moved fluidly throughout the field. Slash. Move. Stab. Move. Duck. Move. Always moving. Keep moving. You stop, you die. The magicat always turned to make sure Adora was still in view, was still safe. Or at least, as safe as one could be in a hellscape such as this. Either way, she watched her back just as she knew Adora was watching her’s. She wove her way through the Horde soldiers like a dance, lashing out with sword and dagger, finding her rhythm. She just needed to maintain it. Because if she did, she would see this through. It was just another battle like any other, she had to remind herself. She winced as that ungodly boom went off again signaling Shadow Weaver had used that filthy magic yet again. She had noticed that she couldn’t use it consistently the way Catra had known her to use her lightning. It must need time to charge between bursts. She was struck with the thought. If she needed to take pauses between her uses of magic, perhaps… 

“Adora!” She called out over the dim, the world rushing back to her in a cacophony of sound.

The blood spattered paladin turned to look at her once she dispatched the enemy in front of her.

“Charge at Weaver! She’s defenseless between bursts!” She was pleased to see the understanding register on her fiancee’s face and they nodded towards each other before they turned and sprinted towards where the last blast had come from.

~

Bow turned on a dime at every loose of an arrow to take out yet another soldier. “Fifty-seven,” he murmured to himself as another fell, and he turned again to loose another, “Fifty-eight.” Turn. Loose. Hit “Fifty-nine.” Turn. Loose. Hir. “Sixty.” He gritted his teeth knowing that that meant. “I’m out!” He called out to Glimmer.

She nodded, teleporting over to him and grabbing him and the pair disappeared from the battlefield as a battle axe came to swing down at the spot they’d just been standing.

They reappeared inside the nearest tower, rows of quivers filled with arrows sitting ready to be taken up.

Glimmer looked around the room and winced seeing all of the injured and dying laid out on floor pants. This wasn’t her first battle by any means, having been fighting since she was a teenager. But this was by far her bloodiest. “I hope mother sent the cavalry,” she whispered to herself, watching as a young woman reached towards the healer standing over them. Then the hand went slack. She shut her eyes, turning away. “Are you ready?” She asked Bow quietly. 

Bow murmured to himself as he finished recounting the arrows in his new quiver, slinging one over his back and affixing a second to his hip. “Ready,” he said in a low gravelly voice. He met Glimmer’s gaze and let out a deep breath before pulling her into a tight hug. “We’ll make it out of this,” he promised her. 

She wrapped her arms firmly around him. “Perhaps,” she murmured. “But at what cost?”

He bit his tongue, looking around the room filled with the dead and dying. “Whatever the cost… it’s too high,” he admitted before they disappeared from the room.

~

Adam fought with Battlecat beside him, his mount mauling and scoring his claws at any that dared come too close to his master. Adam as He-man gripped a soldier by the collar of their uniform and tossed them over his shoulder in a high arch as if they weighed no more than an apple. “Keep going!” He called to the men and women in his charge. “Defend your home! Break their ranks! For Grayskull!” His chest filled with pride at the responding shout of, “For Grayskull!”

He turned and dispatched two Horde with one swing, keeping his eyes up as to not be taken off guard. Though he blinked at what he saw across the field. Among the sea his own soldiers clad in gray and the Horde in their blacks and reds, the shining pearlescent white armor of his sister shone bright as the sun. Where in the five hells was she running to? 

Panic gripped his heart as he saw her fast approaching Shadow Weaver that had only moved forward in a straight line, blasts of desolation etched in the earth around her. 

“Gods, no…”

~

Adora let out a yell as she cut down more that stood in her way. With every body that fell, she was just one closer to Shadow Weaver. One body closer to the woman that kidnapped her. Slash. One step closer to the one that tormented her love. Stab. One breath closer to the cause of all of this pain. Slice.

Finally, with Catra at her back, they came to the small clearing that surrounded Shadow Weaver. A wicked black crown set upon her head, one that had once been on the head of King Hordak. She snarled at the sight of it. This woman was no queen. She would just as soon let all of her people burn if it meant scraping together another ounce of power for herself. Adora didn’t even pay any heed to the circular divots carved into the earth at her feet other than to pivot around them to get closer. She was going to end this. Right here. Right now.

With a grunt, coming within attack range, she lifted her sword to finish her once and for all.

“Adora,” crooned that sickly sweet voice, olive eyes fixing on her. A hand reached up that glowed an unnatural red and pressed a strange object to the gem affixed to the Sword of Protection. “I was so hoping you would come to me.”

Adora cried out, crumpling to her knees. Creeping red tendrils of tainted magic began crawling up her blade and she gasped seeing it rapidly spreading over the hilt and handle of her sword, attaching itself to her armor, to her skin. She cried out feeling the burning sting of it fill her veins, setting her blood on fire. Everything was on fire, everything was red. She screamed.

Catra gasped running to her side. “Adora!” She knelt beside her, trying to see exactly what was wrong, to see how she could help. “Adora, are you alright?!” She jumped back when her love let out a distorted scream and lashed out with her blade. 

The red tendrils had climbed up her neck and along Adora’s face. Where once beautiful ocean blue eyes had been, there were now an evil glowing red blazed. A maniacal gritty laugh ripped its way from her throat as she raised her blade to attack once more. 

“Adora, stop, this isn’t you!” She hissed, dodging and deflecting her attacks. “I know you’re in there! Stop this madness!” Their blades locked, and Catra’s ears laid back seeing the near demonic grin on her face, the absence of life in those soulless red eyes.

Shadow Weaver watched with amusement as Adora continued her onslaught of her childhood sweetheart, chuckling as Catra tried to appeal to the woman that lay beneath the beast that was lashing out at her. “She can’t hear you,” she drolled. “Soon, the magic will consume her whole being… and she’ll finally fully belong to me.” She hummed pleasantly, seeing Catra’s desperation grow as she struggled against the physical embodiment of Etheria’s magic. Satisfied to let the bout continue uninterrupted, she returned her attention to the battlefield and extended a hand to let off another deadly blast.

~

Adam gasped crumpling to his knees, gripping at his chest. He looked up towards his sister locked in a deadly fight with her betrothed, Shadow Weaver standing idly by. “No,” he whispered, feeling his own power start to wane.

Glimmer glanced over her shoulder to see him on his knees. Her eyes widened and she appeared at his side. “What’s wrong?”

“Adora,” he grunted, pointing towards her. “Something’s wrong… that magic.” He cried out, strength leaving him to the point where he dropped his sword. He looked up, grateful to see Bow just in front of them, fending off any that would try and take advantage of his weakened position. “It’s draining my power, I… I’ve never felt anything like this before.”

The Brightmoon princess looked up, horrified by the implication. “What do we do?” She asked him in a panic.

Tears pricked Adam’s eyes as he watched helplessly, reverting back to his true form. “Pray,” he whispered.

~

Red. Everything was red. Her body moved without permission, without recognition. What was she even doing? She wasn’t sure. But something felt so heavy. On her shoulders, her limbs, in her hand. Why were her arms swinging so much? And why was it so hot? So many questions, and no voice to ask them. It was so strange. 

_Adora!_

That name again. She’d heard it before. Was that why it was so familiar? It was so strange. All of this was so strange. She knew that there was something before this. But she for the life of her could not recall what it was. Her arms were so heavy. Perhaps she could just…

She cried out in pain as that heat intensified and motivated her to keep moving. Strange indeed. No sound, no sight. Just sensation. Unpleasant sensation. And fatigue. She was missing something, she knew it. This wasn’t right. This was not the way things were meant to be.

_Please! Stay with me!_

Stay? Where? Had she gone somewhere? Where even was she? _Who_ even was she? What was happening? Gods, it was hot, wherever she was. 

_Adora! Please! You have to wake up!_

Recognition rippled through her being, her mind sharpening, honing in on this one thing.

Catra?

~

Catra cried as she deflected blow after blow that came at her. This couldn’t be happening. She had prepared herself for what she thought was the worst. But not even her sickest fantasy could’ve prepared her for _this_. This was a fucking nightmare. Worst even then the one that replayed behind her eyes every night she tried to sleep. “Adora, please! You have to wake up!” She grunted, parrying another blow. “You can’t give up!” She sobbed, jumping and dodging out of the way. “You have never given up on anything in your life!” She screamed at her, their blades locking at the hilt. “Not even on me,” she whimpered, doing all she could to keep her lip from trembling. “So don’t you _dare_ start now!” She bellowed into her face.

Adora’s eyes flickered, the red ethereal glow coming in and out of focus as the red tendrils seemed to sink further into her skin. “It’s too late,” she whispered, her voice still distorted. “I’ve failed…” Once again, the blazing red light took over her ocean blue irises. 

Catra’s eyes widened, hope surging through her. “No, no!” She hooked her blade, and wrenched it from her grasp, taking hold of this mad She-ra wrists. “I’ve got you,” she insisted, trying to wrestle her to the ground. “I’m not letting you go!” Tears streamed her bloodied cheeks as she gritted her teeth. “Don’t you get it?” She sobbed. “I love you… I _always_ have! So please, Adora… stay…” She sucked in a deep breath, pressing her forehead to the still seething corrupted She-ra’s.

~

_Stay…_

The fog began to lift, and Adora sucked in a deep breath, her blue eyes widening in shock. Something told her this reprieve in claiming her own mind wouldn’t last. “Catra,” she whispered, grasping her forearms. “Kill her. It’s the only way to--” She gasped, the mad laughter ripping through her again as she sank to her knees, pressing her hands to her temples.

Catra swallowed thickly, taking a step back. She looked over, seeing both the Sword of Protection and her own blade were too far off for her to reach before Shadow Weaver could notice her. She looked back down at Adora and gasped seeing the second sword she always kept on her person. With a determined set to her jaw, she drew it and charged Shadow Weaver with quiet steps. She pulled back her blade to strike, then gasped when the woman reached out. An iron grip locked around her throat, sword falling from her hand. She struggled to breath as the hand at her neck grew hot with magic, dead eyes turning to look at her.

“Oh Catra,” Shadow Weaver mused. “Such a waste.” The magic in her hand only seemed to grow hotter, the deadly blasts she’d been using to wreak havoc on the battlefield preparing to discharge directly into Catra’s body. She frowned when Catra grinned widely even as she was gasping for breath.

With her off hand, she drew her dagger and expertly sliced between the third and fourth rib, piercing her heart and twisting the blade for good measure. The hand at her throat fell away and Catra gasped sucking in air, watching in satisfaction as her abuser crumpled. She breathed heavily staring down at the bleeding soon to be corpse at her feet. A million things ran through her mind to say, final pithy parting words. But she wouldn’t give her the satisfaction. She didn’t owe her even that. So she simply spit on the witch before turning her attention to her betrothed.

~

Glimmer shouted, sending blast after blast of magic to any that came near her or Bow. She’d long since deposited Adam back into the battlement, not wanting to risk the life of her friend when his strength had left him. She swallowed thickly looking around as the Grayskull forces seemed to be failing without their prince or princess leading them. What little hope she had that they would win the day began to fade, despair gripping at her. 

The ground shook at the reverberating **_BOOM_** that echoed across the battlefield.

The Brightmoon princess turned towards the sea and gasped seeing ships. A whole fleet of ships flying the flags of Salineas and… Dryl? She blinked seeing Princess Entrapta’s own warmachines aboard the ships, launching their own ammunition at the Horde ranks. She sucked in a breath watching as the soldiers clad in red and black retreating, only to hear them cry out and run back towards what remained of the Grayskull forces. But… why?

She squinted looking into the distance, hearing shouts from the battlements behind her before seeing them herself.

“Brightmoon has arrived!” They called.

A mighty roar rose up from the soldiers in gray, their moral spiking as they pushed on.

Brightmoon…

Brightmoon reinforcements had come…

She watched as Plumaria druids step off of long boats coming from the Salinian ships. Green energy pulsed from their hands as all manner of plant life and vegetation grew and weaved their way around their allies to take hold of the retreating Horde.

Glimmer sobbed quietly in relief, a hand covering her mouth as the scene unfolded. 

They had won the day.

~

Adora groaned as her head lulled to the side, wincing against the blazing sun just behind her eyelids.

“Adora?” Catra shook her, desperation growing in her voice.

Her head rolled again as she let out a low whine. “Five more minutes,” she grunted. “Gods Catra, why can’t you just let me sleep for once?” In response, she heard relieved laughter. Confused, she blinked her eyes open to see Catra kneeling over her, tears streaking her face.

“You’re such an idiot,” she said affectionately, caressing her cheek with her gauntleted hand.

Everything came flooding back to her, and she quickly sat up, frantically looking around at the carnage that surrounded them. “Shadow Weaver!” She tried to stand, but Catra forced her down with a hand to her chest.

“Adora… it’s alright… we won…” 

Adora blinked. As her gaze swept over the battlefield, she truly took it in, slowly. She saw the Salinan navy, Dryl warmachines, Plumarian druids, Brightmoon cavalry, and Grayskull foot soldiers all looming over what remained of the Horde forces. She sucked in a deep breath turning to see Shadow Weaver’s bleeding lifeless corpse only a few yards away from them. She returned her gaze to Catra, warmth spreading through her chest as she heard that she was purring. Adora let out a short laugh. It was quiet and weak at first. Then it became louder as her hope and relief grew. 

Catra joined in, moving forward to press their foreheads together, her purring only increasing in volume.

“It's over,” Adora whispered. “We did it. She’s gone…”

Her knight hummed quietly at that. “Good riddance…”

~~~~

The throne room of Grayskull was filled with soldiers from every kingdom, all filed neatly in rows with banners of their home land flying high and proud before them.

King Randore sat in the high throne upon the dais, his wife beside him at his left and his son on his right. To Queen Marlena’s left sat their daughter.

Adora was dressed in the finest white doublet she’d ever set eyes on, golden broquet worked all along it. A fine golden silk shirt coming down to her wrists, black leather pants and boots to complete the ensemble. She glanced to her right, seeing her whole family wearing the same color scheme along with her. She straightened when her father stood to address all of those that had assembled.

“The Horde has long plagued these lands. All of our people have been made victims of their blood lust and quest for power. But that has come to its end. With the help of our dear friends, we were able to put an end to the tyranny of the Horde.” He paused, allowing the hall to erupt with cheers. After a moment, he raised a hand to quiet them. “My friends. You have all conducted yourselves with honor and dignity as you defended our great kingdom. We have lost many, too many. We have a debt to them that we can never repay. There is only the hope that with their sacrifice, we might live fully, with gratitude, and with the aim that no such battle or war will ever take place within our borders again. Thanks to all of you, my friends, finally, Etheria may know peace.”

There was no quieting the crowd after that. The shouting, the cheering, the crying. It seemed to shake the very foundations of the room. With that, the king waved to the servants to bring out the food that had been prepared for a great feast. 

Adora watched as her brother then left his throne to join the Grayskull soldiers. She smiled softly to herself as she watched, having no intention of joining him. Even if she wanted to, her attention was drawn elsewhere. Her head snapped to her left at the brushing of a tail at her cheek. She arched an eyebrow when she made eye contact with Catra in her own maroon and black broqueted doublet and red silk shirt.

Catra merely grinned holding up two bottles of what appeared to be apple cider, and jerking her head towards the side corridor.

Adora beamed widely, hurriedly jumping to her feet and taking her hand. They giggled as they sprinted down the halls and up an endlessly long flight of stairs. 

Finally, they came to the top of the tallest battlement of the castle. The blonde woman arched an eyebrow at the guards on duty. “You’re dismissed,” she said with a wave of her hand.

The two men exchanged glances and shrugged before doing as their princess commanded and made their way back down the stairs.

A tail wrapped around Adora’s wrist. “Look at you giving orders,” she crooned leaning into her side.

Adora tsked, turning to pull her against her chest, hands at her hips. “I’d give even more if you’d let me,” she teased. But that only earned her a peel of squeaking laughter that she was all too pleased to join in with.

Catra hummed, wrapping her arms around her shoulders, pressing their foreheads together. She was unable to stop the rolling purr that was erupting from her chest. “So… now what?” She asked softly.

She reached up a hand to gently stroke at her soft furred cheek. “Now?” She grinned. “Isn’t it obvious?”

The magicat only raised an eyebrow at her.

“We get married…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy fucking shit you guys. 
> 
> I've been writing since I was 12, and never, not once have I ever completed anything longer than a one-shot. Holy shit. This is amazing. HA!
> 
> 'ight, so I know it says there's one more chapter. But it is going to be an epilogue. I'm going to post it exactly a week from now. And I have to say, it's fucking adorable. Prepare yourselves.
> 
> But... yeah. Here's my story. I hope you all like it.
> 
> Thank you so much to everyone who's stuck around this long to read and kudo and comment. Really, it genuinely means the world to me. I love you all so, so much. 
> 
> I have a couple new story ideas in the works! Still Catradora, and very different then what I have here, but I'm really excited about them and I hope you all come around again once I post them! So be sure to subscribe so you don't miss them!
> 
> Again, thank you, thank you, thank you.
> 
> I hope you liked it <3
> 
> Here's my [twitter](https://twitter.com/xtitan_1) and my [tumblr](https://scorchflamedancer.tumblr.com/). Hit me up if you like. I love talking to people about this fic, Catradora, or just spop in general.


	17. Epilogue: Weddings, Oaths, and Ceremonies

Queen Marlena had insisted that her daughter’s wedding be an extravagant occasion. Heedless of young brides-to-be insisting that they would be content with a more humble affair. She would not hear of it.

“Darlings, I have missed so much,” the queen let out a mournful sigh, studying the happy young women holding hands. “Too much. Allow me to give this gift to you. To celebrate the love that was the foundation of the liberation of all of Etheria. Please.”

Catra smiled softly glancing at her bride from the corner of her eye. “What say you, my love?”

Adora breathed in deeply, feeling tears prick her eyes. A mother that wanted nothing but to give. It was a strange and wonderful thing. “How could I refuse?” She said with a chuckle, wiping at her eyes.

~  
The planning took time. Adora complained about it often. The guest list, the flowers, the feast, the entertainment, the decorations, all of it was so austintatious. Catra and Adora wanted for very little when it came to the fine details. Adora refused to wear another dress as long as she lived, and her mother respected her wish. So both women were made fine doublets for the occasion in golds and reds. 

Among Shadow Weaver’s old belongings, they managed to find Catra’s dagger and silver band that had been taken from her all those years ago. They were to wear their twin blades and exchange their original rings during the ceremony. The symbols of their first oaths to each other as they made new ones before the gods, friends, and family. 

King Randore fussed that while they were fine as they were, that they could have new ones made. Better ones.

“I just want the very best for my little girl on her wedding day. Can you fault a father for that?” The gruff warrior king sighed.

“Father, please. This is what I want. For me, this is the best.” Adora smiled widely up at him, having learned in their short time together that he would not refuse her anything.

With a bedraggled sigh, he nodded. “Fine. But allow my jeweler to polish and repair them as needed?”

She laughed softly, putting her arms around the burly man in a tight hug. “Of course. That sounds wonderful.”

~  
Catra was very interested in the menu having a large assortment of fish, and cared not for any other detail. She had her love, she had her child, she had her best friend to stand beside her. That was enough.

“Are you sure?” Scorpia asked with an arched eyebrow. “This is your wedding too, and your in-law’s to-be seem to be more than willing to accommodate any request.”

The magicat hummed contentedly, leaning back in her chair as she combed her fingers through Finn’s blonde hair as they slept against her chest. “What more could I possibly ask for that isn’t already mine?”

~  
The wedding was still a month out, and Adora wasn’t shy about letting her irritation at that fact show. The sparring matches with her brother had become more fierce as time went on, and he couldn’t help the amusement he felt at his sister’s impatience.

“You really can’t wait only thirty days?” Adam arched an eyebrow at her, crossing his arms over his chest, panting softly from their last match as he sat down.

Grabbing a damp cloth, Adora wiped her face clean of the sweat and dirt that had accumulated. “We’ve been engaged long enough,” she grumbled.

“It’s been two months,” he gently reminded her.

She scoffed. “Try five years. Try a whole lifetime!” She sighed, collapsing on a bench beside him. “I never cared for all the pomp and circumstance of things like this. I just want to make Catra my wife. Right now.”

Adam pressed his lips in a fine line, glancing around the training yard to be sure no one could hear. He leaned in to whisper, “I could arrange that…”

Her eyes brightened at that, and she sat ramrod straight. “Say on,” she murmured, trying not to draw attention from any around her.

~  
The day the Queen had ordained had arrived. Marlena was pleased that Adora had been more accepting of the idea of the wedding as of late. She’d not heard a single complaint from her for weeks. She was more than pleased that she had the opportunity to give her daughter the ceremony she deserved.

Adora stood at the back of the temple, hands clasped around her wife’s hand, the pair sharing secret smiles knowing that this ceremony was only making public what they had already done together in private.

Catra arched an eyebrow at her. “What do you think your mother would say if she knew?”

“Nothing, because she’ll never find out,” she hissed, lightly elbowing her. They both laughed softly, pressing their foreheads together to the chorus of Catra’s purring.

Randore walked towards them, guiding Finn in front of him that held the rings, Adora’s sword and Catra’s dagger in his belt. “Now, darling, don’t be angry,” he began, wincing slightly at her suspicious glare. “These are the rings and weapons you requested. But… I had my jeweler do… a little extra.”

Catra quirked an eyebrow, ushering over her child to inspect the rings resting on the pillow. She let out a quiet gasp as she picked them up to show her wife. “Adora… look.”

The blonde woman leaned over and covered a hand to her mouth, tears welling as she studied them. “They’re beautiful, father,” she whispered, her voice thick with emotion.

It looked as if the bands had been melted down for this, if it was indeed the original metal. The metals were incompatible to be melted together, but they had been pressed and rolled into fine strands and were then woven together in beautiful knot work. The bronze and silver forever interlocked. So different in many ways, but complimentary. Just like Catra and Adora.

“Additionally,” the king murmured, drawing the dagger from its sheath to show them. The pattern of the knot work of the rings had been etched into the blades along with what looked to be strange ancient runes that were in the shape of a heart. “It says--”

“Heart,” Adora finished for him, tracing a finger on the refitted hilt. “It’s beautiful, father. All of it.” She waited for him to sheath the blade before she moved to wrap her arms around him. “Thank you.”

Randore smiled widely in relief as he hugged her back. “Anything for my little girl…”

~  
The music began, and the brides in their matching red and gold doublets walked down the long aisle, rows upon rows of guests watching. While focused attention on her usually made her nervous, Adora felt a peace come over her as she just stared at the woman hanging on her arm. Catra looked so handsome in her doublet and silk red shirt, a new knights chain of gold hanging about her neck, a beautiful new white belt tooled and decorated with ancient images of cats. Her own gold silk shirt and rune tooled yellow belt to serve as contrast. And of course, the dagger and sword sat in their proper places at their hips.

Catra sensed her eyes on her and smiled widely, giving her wife a sly wink. “You ready to marry me all over again?” 

“Always.” Both had to press their lips together to try and keep from laughing in the middle of the aisle.

Finally, the lovers made their way to the altar and turned to face each other, gripping the other’s hand. 

They didn’t see the priest that began to speak, the crowd of people that watched, not even Adam that stood just behind Adora, or Scorpia behind Catra. The two women just stared deeply into each other’s eyes, fighting their own aching cheeks in attempts to keep from smiling.

The priest presented a two handled golden cup before them, filled with unfermented wine, per Adora’s request. “The years of life are as this cup of wine poured out for you to drink. A symbol of what is sweet. Of happiness, joy, hope, peace, love and delight. This same wine is also bitter. It is symbolic of disappointment, sorrow, grief, despair, and life’s trials and tribulations.”

Catra smirked, arching an eyebrow in something of a private joke. If they had braved all of the bitterness they had been dealt so far, neither feared the future.

“Together,” the priest continued, “the sweet and the bitter represent love’s journey, all of life’s sorrows and delights are represented here in this cup. For all who share the wine from it, so may you share all things from this day on with love and understanding. Those who drink deeply from this cup with an open heart and willing spirit, invite challenges that come to oppose these Brides only for them to overcome.” He offered the cup to them, Adora and Catra taking hold of either handle.

“This cup is symbolic of the pledges you have made to one another to share together the fullness of life. As you drink from this cup, you acknowledge to one another that your lives, separate until this moment, have now become one.”

Adora grinned widely knowing that their lives had never truly been separate for as long as they’d known one another.

“Drink now, and may the cup of your lives be sweet and full to overflowing. Drink to the love you’ve shared in the past, the trials you have overcome. Drink to your love in the present, on this your wedding day. And drink to your love in the future and forever more.”

With each keeping a hold of their own handle, they took turns drinking deeply from the cup until it was empty, returning it to him. 

“Now the rings for the handfasting,” the priest prompted gesturing for Finn to step forward. 

Standing straight, the young magicat walked over and presented the rings to their mothers, smiling widely as the two women each took a ring and affectionately tousled their hair. Once their job was done, they scurried over to stand with Scorpia again.

Carefully, they placed the rings on the proper fingers, holding hands once more.

The priest presented a strand of thick golden cord, tying Adora’s left hand to Catra’s right. “As your hands are now bound, so too have your lives been with love and trust. “These knots along this cord symbolizes the vows you have made to one another. Like the sun, your love should be a constant source of light. Like the earth, a strong foundation from which to grow from.”

Adora smiled knowing she had requested the vow be changed from ‘stars’ to ‘sun’, her heart swelling hearing another speak the analogy aloud.

“May this knot remain forever tied in love and devotion,” the priest said as he tied a knot in the cord. “May these hands be blessed to always be held by one another. May they have the strength to hold tight during the storms of life. May they remain tender as you nurture each other.” He turned to look at the magicat. “Do you so swear?”

Catra squeezed Adora’s hand, unable to even find the words to describe what she was feeling. “I so swear,” she purred.

Adora couldn’t help her happy sob as the priest asked her the same question. “I so swear,” she whispered through trembling lips.

The priest nodded and placed his palm over the bride’s tied hands. “Then in the sight of the gods, and all who bear witness, as a priest of the first order, I proclaim you as wives. May no force in the heavens, on the earth, or under the earth separate what has been bound and sealed together.” He smiled, removing his hands. “You may now kiss.”

To an eruption of cheers, Adora took Catra’s face in her unbound hand and pulled her in for a deep long kiss, her hand slowly moving to the back of her head to tangle her fingers in her hair. The pair laughed softly when they separated, nuzzling their noses together. “I love you,” Adora whispered.

“I love you too, dummy,” Catra grinned. 

~  
There was dancing, there was feasting, there were far too many people for Adora’s liking. She just wanted to slip away with her wife and child and spend the evening together.

Catra sensed her irritation and squeezed their still bound hands together. “You know,” she murmured. “We may not be able to make it back to our rooms… but I saw a nearby closet…” She let the suggestion hang in the air, arching her eyebrow with a mischievous grin.

Adora smirked in return. “Catra,” she whispered, “Are you suggesting we have sex in the closet?”

The magicat shrugged. “I’m merely proposing we… slip away to steal a few moments alone… and whatever happens… happens.”

They shared a knowing look before the rose to their feet, lacing their fingers together as Catra tugged along her wife down a side corridor, pulling her into a rough kiss once they were out of view of the guests. They took slow and deliberate steps as Catra felt along the wall for the door. Finally finding the handle, she turned to pull it open and her jaw dropped at what she found inside. “Um…”

Adora blinked looking over her shoulder to see Bow and Glimmer wrapped up in each other’s arms, kissing as if they would cease to be if they stopped for even a second. And while their clothes were still on, they were disheveled as if they’d been there for a while. They didn’t even seem to notice that they had an audience.

Catra slowly closed the door before turning to Adora, the pair of them briefly attempting to refrain from laughing. Of course, they didn’t succeed. It was all just too ridiculous.

~  
The reception had come to an end, and the newlyweds had absconded to their own room after having spent some time with Finn and put them to bed. 

Catra was resting against Adora’s chest, finally alone in their own bed, a thin sheet pulled over their naked bodies. Her clawed fingers traced down the defined hard lines of her wife’s muscles, humming softly in thought. “So. I have to ask. Which wedding did you prefer?”

Adora closed her eyes, wrapping her arms tightly around her wife as she recalled the day.

~  
__

_“Say on.”_

_Adam’s plan had been a simple one. As royalty, he had the rights of any priest to perform a wedding ceremony. Wherever they wanted to be married, they would ride out, with Finn in tow and just do it. They had waited long enough._

_With Adora on Swift Wind, and Catra with Finn on Melog, they led Adam on Battlecat far from Grayskull back towards the former Horde territory outside of Castle Fright._

_It wasn’t hard to find the old tree with their crudely drawn faces etched into its bark, the familiar sounds of the rushing river filling the open air._

_Adora and Catra stood facing one another in plain white linen shirts, their sword and dagger and their hips, the simple bands of bronze and silver ready for the exchange._

_Adam stood just before that tree with Finn in front of them, his hands settled on their little shoulders. He looked between his sister and soon to be sister-in-law. “I’ll keep this brief, since I know when the formal ceremony comes there will be no end of poetic words and symbolisms.” It warmed his heart seeing the pure joy radiating off the two women. “Say what’s in your heart, in the sight of the gods and this witness,” he said squeezing Finn’s shoulders._

_Catra sucked in a deep breath and nodded before meeting her love’s ocean blue gaze. “Adora… People often speak of falling in love. But that was never the case for us. There was no falling, no stumbling, no tripping into it.” She grinned widely. “It just was. It had no real beginning, just as I foresee it will have no end. I’ve never been one to believe in fate or destiny. I believe in what’s in front of me. I believe in you. In us. But if fate does play a part, I believe through a thousand lifetimes in a thousand places, there will be you and me. And we will always find each other.” She brought her left hand to her lips to kiss her ring. “I am yours, and you are mine. I love you, Adora. I always have.”_

_Adora put a hand to her mouth, unable to keep the tears from pouring down her cheeks. She took a few deep breaths to try and compose herself. “I don’t know what to say to that other than…” She shook her head before staring into her love’s gemstone eyes. “It’s you, Catra. It’s_ always _been you. In my greatest joys, in my darkest nights, you were always the sun that guided me home.” She reached out to wipe a tear from Catra’s face with her thumb. “And for too long… things have not been equitable between us. So now that you are to be a Duchess, and I a paladin of the realm… allow me to remedy that.” She took a step back and drew her sword with a flourish, kneeling before her and rolling up her left sleeve, blade at the ready on her forearm. “My Lady Catra… would you accept my oaths of fealty to you?”_

_Catra nearly choked, her heart swelling near to bursting before she nodded, a hand coming over her mouth as she took a moment to breathe. “I will accept your oaths as your liege lady,” she began in a whisper. “Will you keep the peace in accordance with the laws and customs of this land, and uphold the honor of my house and my name?”_

_“I shall keep them.” Adora maintained eye contact not even feeling the edge of her sword marking a shallow cut along the length of her arm._

_The magicat reached forward to gently caress her love’s cheek, her heart full to bursting. She couldn’t believe she was doing this for her. A princess, here, on her knees for someone like her? She couldn’t fathom it. But still, Adora gave herself willingly. “Will you follow me into all peril and aid in the protection of those in my charge with mercy and truth?”_

_“I shall follow.” Another cut alongside the first._

_Catra didn’t even hesitate to recite the oath that had been modified years ago. An oath that only they shared with one another. “Will you stand beside me and fight with me in all my battles, and never again let us part, even in death?”_

_Likewise, there was no hesitation in Adora either. “I shall stand. With you. Fight with you. Stay with you. Always.” Adora made the final draw cut across her arm before sheathing her sword._

_In answer, Catra drew her dagger and pricked her finger before returning it to its place. “I accept your oaths of fealty, my love. Just as you accepted mine.” She extended a hand to help her to her feet._

_Adam extended a bandage to Catra to quickly dress the simple wounds before blood stained their white shirts. “As I am to understand, there is still one more set of vows you wish to speak, sister mine?”_

_“There is,” she said with a grin, looking to the young magicat that blinked up at them in confusion. “Come here, kitten,” Adora crooned, opening her arms to them. She easily lifted them into her waiting embrace, having them rest at her hip. “Finn. I want you to know that you are just as much a part of this as your mother and I. I’m not just committing to her, but to you as well.” She smiled seeing emotion overcoming their cute little face before they buried it in her shoulder, arms secure around her neck. She shushed them, rocking back and forth, soothingly rubbing their back. “If you’ll have me Finn… I would love to be your mother as well.”_

_She kissed their temple as they cried softly even as they purred. Adora waited until they nodded and shut her eyes, snuggling her face into their hair. She smiled as she set about to recite her vows to them, still rocking them back and forth. “I commit myself to you, my darling Finn. For I have loved you long and have thought of you often. When I lived my darkest days, you were a ray of hope for my weary heart. I only pray that I was that for you as well, and continue to remain so. I promise to stand by you as well. To teach you, to guide you, to love you no matter what comes our way. So long as I live, I swear to forever and always be your mother.”_

_“I love you,” they whimpered through their sobs._

_“I love you too, kitten.” She looked up to her wife and laughed through her own tears, seeing Catra was just as emotional as they were. Adora extended an arm to pull her into their embrace, Finn lovingly pressed and held between the brides._

_Adam sniffed, scrubbing at his face. “Damnit, stop making_ me _cry,” he grumbled. That managed to spark some laughter among the new little family. “So. In the eyes of the gods and this adorable little witness,” he tapped his nibling’s nose with an affectionate smile. “As Prince and Heir to the throne of Eternia, I pronounce you wives. And the three of you, a family. May no force in the heavens, on the earth, or under the earth separate what has been bound and sealed together.” He smirked. “So kiss already.”_

_Adora turned to meet Catra’s lips in a long lingering kiss. Then the blonde woman lifted Finn between them so they could press a kiss to either cheek as the same time, inspiring a fit of laughter from the child._

~

Adora slowly opened her eyes to stare down at her wife, combing her fingers through her mane of hair that was steadily growing back. “I’m not sure it matters. I have you. Who could ask for anything more?”

They leaned in close for another kiss. 

But it was certainly not their last.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I couldn't wait. I kept rereading it and I love it so much, I had to share it early.
> 
> I hope you like it.
> 
> Love you all 
> 
> <3
> 
> EDIT: I also have a commission piece coming for this chapter that I will absolutely be posting as soon as it's done. I've seen the sketch for it and it's goddamn beautiful already. So be sure to come back and check for it! Ooooor follow me on my [twitter](https://twitter.com/xtitan_1) and my [tumblr](https://scorchflamedancer.tumblr.com/), I will definitely post it there. And like. Hit me up if you like. I love talking to people about this fic, Catradora, or just spop in general.

**Author's Note:**

> Here's my [twitter](https://twitter.com/xtitan_1) and my [tumblr](https://scorchflamedancer.tumblr.com/). Hit me up if you like. I love talking to people about this fic, Catradora, or just spop in general.
> 
> Kudos and comments are life-giving <3


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